With the clone squad now firmly on the same page, or at least the same book, or maybe the same genre, Momo decided the next logical thing to do was to acquire a base of tactical operations.

  She appointed Richard as her location scout, and they spent the better half of a day milling around San Francisco like a gang of potential property investors, with Marie taking notes, Mallmart inspecting the amenities, and Kava acting as the group bodyguard.

  “Look, say it with me again. Purify,” Momo recited to Kava for the third time as they stood on the cool tiles of the current house’s outdoor pool. Black sludge smeared across the once clear water, the still-twitching hand of a nether demon sailing across it like a pool toy.

  Kava bit her lip in concentration, staring intensely at Momo.

  “Poof-eye?”

  “Goddamnit.” Momo pinched the bridge of her nose, taking in a deep breath. “Pur-if-y.”

  Meanwhile, Mallmart strolled by, holding a clipboard and tapping a pencil against it as she coolly scanned the pool area. Richard loomed over her, visibly exhausted, like a father that never really wanted to attend Parents Weekend.

  “A pool, very nice,” she said, scribbling a check mark onto the page. “We could use a pool.”

  Richard snorted.

  “We could use a pool for what exactly?”

  “You know,” she said, then paused, clearly trying to find the answer. “Training.”

  “Oh. Of course,” Richard grunted, following Mallmart to the lip of the pool, where their mirror images shimmered back at them in the soiled demon water. “I wasn’t aware our aim with all this was to outdo Michael Phelps.”

  She blinked at him, and then said, with complete conviction:

  “That’s been exactly my goal since I got here, Richard.”

  Richard opened his mouth, then closed it.

  This girl either had great comedic timing, or was actually insane.

  “Enough,” he said, but he couldn’t manage it to sound that sharp. “Stop calling me that.”

  “What? Your name?”

  “Yes. You’re a child. We’re not peers.”

  “What do I call you, then?”

  “Mr. Smith.”

  “But you’re not my teacher.”

  “And you’re not my client, or my student. But here we are, associates in intergalactic bullshit.”

  Marie butted her head between them, apologizing profusely for the intrusion before waving over to Momo and Kava. They all gathered by the grass in the house’s expansive lawn, the sun hanging low in the misty sky. This far from the center of the city, they could hear little noise but the occasional chirping of birds; still, Marie cleared her throat.

  “I’ve done a thorough inspection of the building,” she said, straightening her back and making a firm line with her lips. “And I think it meets all our requirements.”

  Momo pulled at the collar of her shirt and laughed nervously.

  “Right. The requirements,” she said. “Which I definitely remember setting.”

  Marie brightened.

  “I can list them again if that helps.”

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  The scientist looked like she would happily list anything just for the sake of listing things.

  “Yes!” Momo said, maybe too eagerly. “Please do.”

  Marie grinned widely, and snatched Mallmart’s clipboard out of her fingers, eliciting a small grumble from the girl. The scientist then ripped the pages of doodles from the top and set them aside, looking at the checklist they’d made before as a group.

  “Okay.” She took a sharp breath in. “First requirement, set by Momo. The building must not be occupied. We’re not kicking anyone out of their home just so we can live in it. Exception being if someone allows us to stay in their basement, or if they’re murderers. Or both.”

  The group glanced towards the house, a three-story McMansion which had, according to Richard’s research of the online property listings, been for sale as of last week. Whoever had been the real estate agent for the property had apparently decided the apocalypse was more pressing, though, because she hadn’t shown up to their request for a viewing.

  So they viewed it themselves.

  Well, “viewed.” Mallmart had picked the lock on the gate.

  Notably, Momo’s requirement did not include that they were there legally.

  “Second requirement,” Marie continued, looking toward Richard. “Is that—”

  “It’s close to my house so I can drive there when we’re done,” he said, pleased with himself.

  Mallmart groaned, pulling at her face.

  “Yada yada. What about my requirement?”

  “We’re getting there, Bald Eagle,” Marie said gently.

  “Please don’t call her that,” Momo muttered. “It feeds her delusional sense of self.”

  Mallmart pinned her with a glare. “If I have to call Richard Mr. Smith, then—”

  Before she could finish her sentence, Kava lifted the young Momo up, hoisting her into the air. She screamed, wiggling in the goblin’s firm grip.

  “What are you doing?!”

  “Air jail,” Kava muttered. “You can be put back down when you’re quiet.”

  Marie didn’t even bother to look up as she slid her pen to the next line on the page.

  “Requirement three, there must be a pool. Requirement four, there must be a fridge with an automatic ice dispenser. Requirement five, there must be a water bed.” She frowned. “Wait. I don’t think I saw a water bed in there, actually. We might have to keep looking.”

  “Yeah,” Mallmart huffed, crossing her arms in the air. “We might have to keep looking.”

  “No, we do not,” Momo said, rolling her eyes. “This place is perfect. Marie, you can stop reading the requirements now.”

  Mallmart tried to complain again, but Kava just spinned her in the air like a chicken on a rotisserie. Her whining turned into dizzy gurgles.

  “All that matters is there’s enough beds,” Momo continued, then gestured toward the massive backyard. “And a sizable space for you all to practice your skills.”

  “And a pool,” Mallmart gurgled.

  Momo sighed, but a small smile slipped through.

  “Yes. And a pool.”

  ***

  The sun dipping below the horizon, the group relaxed into their new property.

  Richard groaned as he fell into a rickety pool chair. Laughter carried over from the pool, which had been cleaned rather obsessively by Marie, and was now occupied by the three clones; the water where Kava was swimming boiled, her red leathery skin a natural superheater, so Mallmart and Marie kept a wide berth from her—the former busying herself with trying to do handstands while the latter screamed everytime she got splashed.

  Momo slipped into the chair beside Richard. The pinstriped fabric was rough and itchy, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Nothing could stop the tidal wave of stress from falling off her shoulders. She hadn’t realized how much tightly wound responsibility had wormed its way into her gut until that very moment, watching the kids play in the pool.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  Startled, Momo turned her head towards Richard. He had a ridiculous baseball cap perched on his head. “My clients hate me. Women do too,” was embroidered into the front.

  Momo snorted. “What’s with the cap?”

  “Oh,” he said, taking it off to inspect it. “Present from a disgruntled former client.”

  “Ah.”

  Richard took a long sip of beer. He’d found a pack of them in the house’s cellar, and immediately “liberated them from containment.” He offered one to Momo, but she declined.

  “Did you hear me before?” he said, once the cold can left his lips.

  “Maybe. Can’t remember. What’d you say?”

  “That I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  “Oh,” she paused. “Easy answer. Never do.”

  Richard chuckled hollowly.

  “I don’t think that’s true, Ms. Lim. I’ve been watching you. I see how you operate. You’ve got more brain than you let on.” He took another sip, then cleared his throat. “But don’t let that get to your head. There’s a lot of stupid up there along with the smart. But hey, that’s all of us. Just battling our worst instincts to make sure the intelligent brain cells win out.”

  Momo smiled gently at him, a flush clinging to her cheeks.

  She knew this was his idea of a compliment.

  Also, she had heard his discussion with the younger Momo earlier. If he was using her last name, and not her first…

  “Wait. You see me as a peer?” she said, grinning wider now. “An equal?”

  Richard scoffed.

  “What’d I say about it getting to your head?”

  Momo laughed, and in that moment, she felt free as a bird.

  Praise be! You have acquired a new skill: [Self Confidence V]

  This is the final level of the skill [Self Confidence]

  Self Confidence V: Life isn’t so scary anymore. You’re not sure when it stopped being that way, but along the way, it just did.

  Momo’s gaze lingered on the screen in front of her.

  She swallowed quietly, and wiped away a stray tear.

  Along the way, it just did.