"Good cycle Humans! As you may have noticed, you are alive! We have temporarily overlaid your planet with an atomic dampening field, preventing your nuclear attacks against yourselves from detonating. Though some of your leaders may find this disheartening, pay them no mind, as they are no longer your leaders. Pursuant to intergalactic code, your aborted attempt at self-annihilation removes from you any and all protections for self-determination. For our intergalactic listeners, that means that any speculative sector bonds you may have purchased in the system have matured! Congratulations! Any humans remaining on the planet within 60 of your Earth days will be considered trespassing and will be removed. Thank you for your very entertaining and profitable choices! Farewell."

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  - RoA announcement to Sol-3, the former homeworld of the Humans

  -??????-

  The cursor blinked impatiently on the screen, hungry for more. She wasn't sure where that had come from. She didn't write sci-fi!

  Katarzyna, "Kat" for short, 28, Polish, author. Well, self-proclaimed author. She hadn't actually published anything professionally per se, and she mostly wrote steamy BL, not whatever THAT was.

  Yet there it was, the start of some alien space opera or futuristic tragedy or something.

  There was more of it drifting around in the back of her head somewhere, but the bit in front of her had crystalized immediately, as if spoken through her rather than of her own design.

  She looked over at the time, 4:03 in the morning.

  She groaned, slammed shut the laptop, and fell right back to sleep.