Was this what death felt like?

  Kalvin startled himself with the thought. He assumed that wherever he had ended up, his soul hadn’t followed.

  That was the one thing a spirit would never tell you- where they’d been before being awoken. Most people believed in the existence of some kind of heaven or spirit realm the ghosts couldn’t speak about, but if you asked Kalvin, what awaited them at death was a whole lot of nothingness.

  And the’d been right, this certainly was…nothingness.

  How much time had passed? If it’d only been a second or hundreds of years, he couldn’t tell. It almost felt like he’d been sleeping, but whether he was awake or not now was a whole other question.

  He couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t smell or hear or taste anything. He wasn’t even breathing. It was like his brain had been sealed in a vat.

  Kalvin could even sense himself panicking, but it was so muted. Like he was merely outside of his body, looking in.

  I hope I don’t spend the rest of my life, well, death, just aware like this.

  He had to be dead, it was the only possible explanation. Mael somehow killed him.

  Still…his words kept echoing in Kalvin’s head. Why tell you when I can show you?

  Well, it didn’t matter now. If he really came back to life, he was probably tearing the whole world apart already. All Kalvin could do was wait for a medium to contact him. If there were even any left.

  In the meantime, he’d just exist. For the rest of eternity.

  The thought sent a harrowing chill through Kalvin. A mental one, since he still couldn't feel anything. He wished that he was wrong, that there really was some paradise where he’d be reunited with the dead- with his sister.

  But all he could do was simply be.

  Kalvin was trying to make his peace with that when there was a sudden flash of white light, so bright it almost felt blinding.

  No, not almost. It was blinding.

  He could see.

  The light only grew stronger as another sensation joined it. It almost felt as though Kalvin was being…what was the word?

  Hit? No. Dragged? No. Shoved? Closer.

  Pushed. He was being pushed out of something, something large squeezing in on him. He could barely breathe-

  The realization hit him. He was breathing now, or at least trying to. Wherever he was had no air, and if he didn’t find any soon, he would die. Again.

  I don’t know what’s happening, but I have to get some air. Then I'll try to figure out where the hell I am.

  Kalvin tried to pull himself, but he could't tell where his arms or legs were. He was beginning to get light headed.

  You can do this. Just a little more.

  He suddenly heard a voice. It was dim, as though he were underwater and the voice came from outside. But he heard it.

  Yes! Someone’s here. Maybe I’m not dead after all? Maybe I’m still down in that room, trapped beneath something.

  “Push…do…little more…”

  There it was again! It sounded like it belonged to a woman. Could it be someone there to rescue him? Or even Yvaine?

  He pulled harder, figuring whoever it was could be talking to him. The white light seemed to reach its peak and Kalvin had to shut his eyes against the intensity. He swore he heard a scream somewhere nearby.

  But just then, his head was out in the open. And he could breathe.

  Cold air brushed against his face as a multitude of sounds entered his consciousnesses. Voices, rain, wind, Kalvin could barely focus on just one.

  “There he is!”

  He opened his eyes and watched as everything came into focus: the ginormous woman above him, the light overhead, a speck of dust in the air, the storm raging outside a window. He seemed to be in a small, dark room with only an empty bassinet and a bed, another woman lying atop it as she stared at Kalvin.

  It was only the three of them, but Kalvin faintly sensed a fourth soul. There was a spirit somewhere nearby.

  “That’s…that’s him?”

  Kalvin opened his mouth to ask where he was and who they were, but the sounds that came out were anything but words.

  “How adorable!” The woman above him cooed. “But it's strange, he doesn’t seem to be crying.”

  What on earth are you on about, Kalvin tried to say. But only more of those weird sounds came out. What was going on?

  “I think he’s calling for you. Here, take him.”

  As the woman walked over to the one lying on the bed, Kalvin realized she wasn’t standing over him. She was holding him.

  He tried to look at the rest of his body, but he could barely move his head. And there wasn’t much to see.

  Am I a…am I…

  “Isn’t he just the cutest baby?”

  It couldn’t be. There was not a single possible-

  “Stop!” The woman on the bed cried, holding out her hand. “Get it away from me!”

  “Ellie, he’s your baby boy.”

  Kalvin tried to take deep breaths as he searched through his brain for what to do. Is this a hallucination? Or is it…have I been reincarnated?

  That was another common theory for what happened after death. But it made no sense to Kalvin, especially now. Why does he remember his past life if he hadn’t before? How has the population grown since ancient times if it’s the same people being reincarnated? And most importantly, why would diagnostic spells never catch the true age of a soul?

  He tried to look down at the rest of his body, but his head was far too heavy. In fact, it was beginning to feel like the air itself was becoming too heavy.

  This time, he could feel the panic seeping throughout his body. He could feel it's cold hands wrap around his neck. He could hear his heartbeat roaring in his ears. It felt more like dying than dying had. But worst of all, he couldn't do a single thing about it but lay there and steel his breathing.

  It felt so wrong. Like he'd traded one awful prison for another. Only now he was the inmate.

  Get a grip, Kalvin.

  Thankfully, the women didn't seem to notice his panic atatck.

  “I don’t care.”

  He studied the one spoken, who’d given birth to him. Despite being drenched in sweat, she was still pretty, with long dark hair and pale skin. But she was also deadly thin and seemed far too young to be having a child. Kalvin wondered why she didn't have him at a hospital.

  “Have you thought of a name?” The one holding him asked. She was much older but equally as thin.

  “I don’t care.”

  The older woman frowned. “Perhaps you should call the father…”

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “Don’t mention him.”

  The father…was he dead? Was that the spirit Kalvin sensed?

  No matter. Unless Kalvin somehow ended up in a different world, it seemed as though Mael hadn’t escaped and killed everyone yet. He just had to figure out a way to warn someone.

  He wished he could claw his way out of this body. He felt so helpless looking up at the women, unable to say anything.

  “Why don’t I let you two have some bonding time? I’ll check in later.”

  The woman put him into the bassinet and bid her goodbye. Once she was gone, the one on the bed, his mother, stared at him for a while before standing with a groan and picking the bassinet up, carrying it into what looked to be the living room of a thousand year old abandoned house.

  She gave him one final glance before shutting the door to her room.

  ???.??????

  Weeks had gone by.

  Kalvin rarely saw Ellie, his mother. She would work all day while he was babysat by Agnes, her middle-aged, childless neighbor. Her apartment was just as small and dated as Ellie’s, albeit much cleaner.

  She was nice enough, but it made Kalvin sick to his stomach how she would look and coo at him as though he were an infant. In her defense, he kind of was an infant. But no matter how much he tried to scream out that he could understand her, all he got was baby talk in return.

  It made Kalvin want to punch a wall. The last time he felt this powerless was when his sister died.

  The only way he kept his sanity was by reminding himself he would eventually age and have control over his limbs. Eventually, the humiliation would end.

  But for now...

  A few things were clear to him. One, Ellie wasn’t a sorcerer like his own mother was. Two, she was in her late teens. And three, his father wasn’t in the picture. Not that Ellie was much better.

  The sense of a spirit being nearby had dulled over the weeks, but it lingered in the air. Kalvin assumed it was his father in this life.

  His panic attacks had abated, but not being able to control when you had to piss was proving to be quite annoying. He could do nothing but sleep and think, and all that free time was just giving his brain an opportunity to go into some dark places.

  If he’d been a little smarter, a little more careful, could this have been avoided? Would he still be alive?

  If only he could go back and choose differently. The first thing he’d probably do was book a therapy appointment.

  Apart from pondering his life choices, Kalvin spent his days trying to figure out what had happened and what he was going to do next, but he wasn’t making much progress. All his questions led to more questions.

  One thing he did suspect based off the accents was that they were somewhere in Dorlinard, the same kingdom Kalvin hailed from. That was good, if he escaped when he learned to walk he could get back to his city. He could tell someone what happened.

  Or perhaps that was another dumb idea. Who would listen to a toddler rambling about the incoming end of the world? Perhaps he’d find a way to get in contact with Yvaine.

  At least Mael hadn’t appeared and killed everyone yet. Maybe the people at the prison stopped him before he could escape, or maybe was still dead. Though if that were true, it would mean his spirit was capable of killing someone.

  Kalvin tried not to think of that possibility.

  Agnes peaked her head into the bedroom where his bassinet was kept. “Good morning! Are you ready for your first ever day out?”

  Kalvin stared at her. She was taking him outside already?

  “The doctor’s office is deeper in the city,” she sad in the same high-pitched voice. “Your mother works nearby so she’ll meet us there.”

  A rush of joy fled through him. Surely he’d recognize which city they were in. Then he could make a plan.

  Agnes placed Kalvin in a stroller and rolled him to a very old, dingy looking elevator. Some of the wallpaper was chipping inside.

  Once they were outside, Kalvin whipped his head around trying to spot something familiar, but all he saw were more cheap apartment buildings all cramped together as they boarded an equally old train.

  He strained his eyes to read the name of the stop, Graveway. Kalvin didn’t recognize it.

  They got off what he guessed to be thirty or forty minutes later. He couldn’t see nor hear the exact stop over all the people this time.

  The buildings here rose much higher and the sounds of horns, people, and footsteps were much louder. It was everything you’d expect from a city but it was all so…ancient, as though it’d been designed by a sixty year old architect. Even the cars he could see glimpses of from his stroller were outdated.

  Kalvin studied the people they passed by. Pale skinned, dark skinned, blonde, brunette, old, young. The population seemed to be diverse, a rarity among most smaller cities. And given the sheer size of all the buildings, it was likely they were in one of the four larger ones.

  But Kalvin had been to them all and still didn’t recognize the old fashioned style. Perhaps he wasn’t in Dorlinard after all?

  And yet…he had an odd sense of familiarity.

  “Just a few more blocks until we’re in the city center,” Agnes was saying to him. “This is a more residential neighborhood, look at all the beautiful apartments!”

  Kalvin had no clue what she was talking about. They didn’t look as run down as the ones in her own region, but they were still a far cry from beautiful.

  They suddenly turned a corner and a street sign came into view. Kalvin narrowed his eyes to see what it said-

  Temple Road.

  His mind blanked.

  It wasn’t possible. This had to be a coincidence. Because if this really was Zentharra, then on their left would be a big park…

  A large clearing with a lake appeared right on command. It wasn’t exactly like the one in his neighborhood, but the similar-looking pine trees and benches stood in the distance as though taunting him.

  No, it’s just coincidence. What are the chances I would be reborn less than an hour away from my own hometown? Besides, all parks look somewhat the same.

  But as they continued on, what lied beside the park made his heart sink deeper within his chest.

  It was a library, just like what was next to his own park back home. Except this one looked older whereas his was much more modern.

  Another coincidence. Some city planner must’ve just gotten lazy and reused Zentharra’s layout.

  He almost believed it until a shabby looking tavern came into view.

  Kalvin turned his head slowly. A bunch of small apartments lined the other side of the road, and there, right across from him, was one sitting beside a bakery.

  The hint of fresh apple pie was strong in the air as he stared at the apartment. At his apartment. Only it looked like a much older model.

  What the actual fuck.

  “Oh my, that smells good! Maybe we can come back for some later.”

  As they turned down another street Kalvin also faintly recognized, a thousand thoughts flooded his head.

  Was he in some sort of alternate universe? Was this just another neighborhood that happened to look eerily similar to his? Was he going insane?

  He almost wished for the third option, but the next few streets they traveled down confirmed either his first or second theory. Some of the street names were exactly the same as the ones neighboring Temple Road, and apart from looking much older the layout was also practically identical.

  Kalvin spent the next twenty-five minutes pondering what the hell was happening until they finally arrived at the healer's office, another ancient-looking building right on the cusp of what was considered to be the center of Zentharra.

  Agnes rolled him into a stuffy waiting room, a grumpy looking Ellie already waiting for them inside. So the usual.

  “Where the hell were you? You’re late.”

  “Sorry, I figured we would take the scenic route.” Agnes looked to Kalvin. “He just loved all the little parks and houses!”

  Ellie stared at her. “He’s a baby.”

  Before Agnes could reply, a man in a healer’s coat stepped out of a door. “Ah, this must be them.”

  “I’m so sorry they’re late, Healer Khan.”

  “Nonsense, please register with the front desk and come right in.”

  Kalvin watched as the two women went to sign themselves in. The waiting room was empty except for them and an elderly man- who was staring straight at him.

  The hell…

  The women paid the man no mind as they returned and wheeled Kalvin into a small room and placed on an exam table. Healer Khan began to write on a clipboard as he looked over his infant body.

  “Have you decided on a name yet?”

  Ellie seemed to be looking anywhere but at Kalvin. “No.”

  “I’m afraid you must get a birth certificate soon. I can only do the initial exam before requiring documentation.”

  Kalvin had been so entranced by everything else that he forgot one key factor of being a newborn baby- the healer’s examination.

  “Right, let me take a look.” The healer withdrew a wooden wand from his belt buckle and placed it against Kalvin’s forehead.

  Kalvin tried to roll away from him. What if he was found out? He couldn’t remember much from his Healing 101 class, but he was pretty sure the diagnostic spell gave you some basic information about the brain and soul, especially the age of the latter. What if the healer could tell he wasn’t actually a baby?

  And if he could, what would happen to Kalvin? His mother did seem like the type to sell him off to some lab. What if he spent the rest of his life being experimented on?

  “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt,” the healer said, gently holding his head in place.

  Despite his best efforts, Kalvin had little strength. The healer successfully casted a diagnostic spell and studied the panels that appeared before him, his expression growing strained by the minute.

  “Is something the matter?” Agnes asked.

  “Not at all,” he said, but the frown on his face suggested differently. “Give me a second.”

  He continued looking at the panels, moving his wand from Kalvin’s forehead to his hand to his chest as he recasted the spell. Finally, he removed his wand and turned to the two women.

  “Good news, he seems to be a perfectly healthy baby boy!”

  Agnes sighed. “Thank the gods. Is there anything else?”

  Kalvin held his breath and awaited the end. For a moment, he thought he saw a glimpse of the elderly man from the waiting room peeking through a crack in the door, but he blinked and the man was gone, the door shut as it had been before.

  All this stress must be making me lose it.

  Healer Khan smiled. “And his levels of death perception appear to be higher than normal!”

  Both Ellie and Agnes looked at him blankly. “What’s that?” The former asked.

  Even as Kalvin was filled with relief, confusion joined it. How the hell did they not know what death perception was? Ever since Mael, even people who didn’t know the first thing about magic recognized those words.

  “We don’t know much about it unfortunately, but it suggests your son is naturally more attuned to death. Things like sensing if a graveyard is nearby or if someone’s recently passed away.”

  To the concern on their faces, he added, “I know it sounds scary, but I assure you there’s nothing to be worried about. If anything, it could help him get into a magic academy in the future. Morticians and mediums are always in high demand.”

  “A magic academy?” Ellie repeated. “No…I don’t think so.”

  “We suspect it’s genetic. Would you happen to know if you or the father have a high death perception?”

  She frowned. “No. I wouldn’t know about any of that.”

  “Very well. If you have no other questions, that’ll be all.”

  Thank god. When Kalvin learned to walk, maybe he would go and explore the city. He needed to figure out what was happening before he could formulate a plan. But for now, he was safe.

  “Thank you so much,” Agnes said, putting him back into the stroller.

  “I hope to see the three of you again soon,” the healer was saying as he went to hold the door open for them. “Remember, he’ll need yearly checkups.”

  Just before he was rolled out of the room, Kalvin's eye caught the calendar hanging beside the door.

  And as he realized it was dated to forty years earlier, Kalvin decided his third theory had been right after all.