Alexios

  I… I truly did it, didn’t I?

  I told Arun how much I love him.

  I showed him just how much I love him…

  And now I’m sitting here with my beautiful Arun in my lap, begging the universe not to take him away from me. I don’t think I can ever exist without him now.

  We sit together in the armchair far longer than we should, but how am I supposed to let him go now?

  The world beyond the library is simply irrelevant now.

  I continue my absent-minded finger tracings over his back until I feel him sigh softly against my neck and then… I feel a gentle nip.

  “We should probably bathe before lunch,” he whispers.

  I huff quietly.

  “Is that a polite way of letting me know I’m a complete mess right now?”

  “We’re a mess, Alexios.”

  We both laugh softly as I push myself up from the chair with a groan, pulling him up with me but I immediately stumble since my legs feel unreliable right now. Truth be told, I can’t fully remember the last time I’ve been truly… taken like that.

  It was probably a quick, blood-drunk fuck with my old mentor just before the sun came up after his hunt. The blood always made him rather lustful.

  But that was more than 50 years ago at this point.

  “Then I suppose we shouldn’t keep the bath waiting,” I say as I gently tap the very end of one of Arun’s horns.

  As we walk through the manor, keeping an eye out for Je Suis, our glances we exchange with one another make me think that we are both remembering every moment on that library’s floor.

  Once we make it up to our bedroom, I take initiative on drawing the bath, mixing in fragrant blends of lavender and cedar. I step in first and the hot water bites deliciously against my skin. I hold out my hand for Arun and soon enough, he’s easing down into the water too.

  We let the water loosen up whatever leftover tension could be in our bodies before I reach for the sponge, wetting it and wringing it out to bathe him. I run it over his shoulder slowly, watching as his eyes close. Then I move the sponge over his chest to wipe away the dried sweat.

  Arun leans closer into me as I wash him and when I finish with his arms, he takes the sponge from me. I let him return the favor and eventually, we end up sitting with his back to my chest. I brush his wet hair back with my fingertips, smiling softly as I hear soft sighs leave his lips.

  “Lunch is going to feel like quite the intrusion,” I say.

  “Can we just… be late? Je Suis probably doesn’t care.”

  As he leans his head back onto my shoulder, I start to think I might just agree.

  When the water eventually cools, we both rise with me stepping out first to reach for a towel. I hold it open for Arun and he steps into it, wrapping it around his shoulders. His wet hair drips down his back and I smooth it away as I dry him off.

  He helps me dry off as well and it feels just like a continuation of our lust-filled exploration of his library. By the time we’re both done drying one another off, I’m trying to think of anything besides him so the blood will stop rushing to my cock.

  I move to my wardrobe and pull a loose, deep blue shirt and black pants specifically for him. His small fingers lightly dance along the fabric as I hand them over.

  “I hope this is okay,” I say as I straighten the collar of the shirt when he puts it on. “Blue always looks so beautiful on you.”

  My fingertips lightly graze his throat and I see him subtly biting his lower lip.

  Gods, I want him again and again.

  “I don’t mind,” he answers. “Usually, you just dress me for special occasion, but this is nice too. Can I pick something out for you as well?”

  “Of course, you can.”

  Arun’s face instantly lights up as he walks over to my wardrobe, clearly eager to do this for me.

  He looks over his shoulder at me and I realize he’s probably trying to make sure I’m actually allowing this.

  I nod, smiling as the tip of his tail flicks once.

  “Hmm… I really like when you wear fitted pieces. Do you have anything else that matches the blue I’m wearing?”

  I gesture to the top left and he spots it instantly, pulling down a black robe embroidered with deep blue on the collar and sleeves.

  “Do you like this color on me, my love?”

  “I love when you wear red,” Arun admits. “But you always pick things to make me look like I belong next to you so… I wanted to make you look like you belong next to me.”

  We both laugh as he brushes out a wrinkle from the robe before handing it over, adoring this small moment together. Hells, I want him to sculpt me into the exact shape he wants.

  Oh, how I crave to be whatever he wants and needs, especially when he’s fussing over me like this.

  “Do you like it?” he asks, shyness returning almost instantly.

  I lean down and kiss the crown of his head.

  “I like anything you choose for me.”

  Arun’s cheeks darken as he steps back, but I can see he’s still smiling, obviously very pleased with his choice.

  By the time we walk down to the dining hall, the only thing I can think about right now is how soon I can get him alone again. Je Suis is already seated when we walk in and a glass of red wine is cradled in one of her hands.

  “Well, there you two are. I was beginning to think you’d decided to eat somewhere else.”

  I pull out a chair for Arun, brushing his shoulder as he sits.

  “I apologize,” I state simply. “We lost track of time.”

  But I know by that wicked smile on her face she knows exactly how we lost track of time. She puts her glass down and looks between the two of us.

  “You know… I passed by the library again earlier, but the door was locked. I could have sworn I heard a thump… or two. Must be the new shelves settling, don’t you suppose?”

  Arun’s fork immediately stills, but I can’t help the smile that finds me. I don’t look away from Je Suis.

  “Old houses make strange noises,” I say casually.

  She nods her head in mocking agreement.

  “I suppose so, but in my experience, old houses don’t… moan like that when they settle. Alexios… what ‘medical plants’ did you want Arun to start breeding together?”

  Arun glances at me and I instantly see his cheeks deepen again, but I wonder if it’s less from embarrassment and more from just remembering that intimate moment of ours. I slide my hand beneath the table to rest my fingers lightly on his knee.

  “You are a rather nosy thing, aren’t you?” I ask, leaning into Je Suis’s space.

  She laughs loudly as Arun covers his face with his hands.

  “You know me far too well,” she answers. “I can’t help it. You two are entertaining to be around which is something I never thought I’d say about you, dear Alexios.”

  I scoff, but the sweet and quiet laugh from Arun pulls my attention right back on to him.

  The servants arrive with our plates, effectively breaking the moment. Je Suis leans back in her chair, but the sparkle in her eyes tells me she’ll bring this up again privately later.

  Lunch proceeds as it usually does, but my attention never strays far from my beloved at my side. I’m tuned into the feeling of his sleeve brushing me and his gentle breathing. Every small moment seems so enlarged and significant now.

  At one point, Je Suis mentions something about business in a nearby town, but I know she’s actually just watching the two of us between sips of her wine.

  Once our plates have been cleared, I realize that although the conversation has flowed smoothly enough… I’ve hardly retained any of it. Je Suis suggests we take our glasses of wine out onto the veranda.

  The afternoon air is warm, but a slight breeze carries over the scent of roses. Arun leans against the railing beside me while Je Suis and I settle into the cushioned chairs.

  “I’ll be here for the next four days,” she says after a sip of wine. “Don’t forget about the meeting at noon in Malvatta. The dockside merchants there want to clarify shipment routes and I guarantee your plantation will likely be a part of that discussion.”

  Fuck, I already have a meeting scheduled with the Timbertown apothecaries that day and I’ve already had to push it back twice.

  “That’s the same day and time I’m meant to be negotiating with Timbertown,” I say, trying to keep my voice calm.

  “Well, that could prove difficult. Do the Timbertown contracts have a bigger stake? It seems like the best option would be Malvatta though. Those folks are your ticket into getting these plants all the way to Faer?n safely.”

  Arun looks between us.

  “Can’t one just be rescheduled?” he asks.

  “It’s possible,” I say, but I’m already running through what that sounds like to my business partners.

  If I cancel on the Timbertown representatives again, it could ruin my chances to claim the Nainan region. If I cancel on Malvatta? My dream of Blackwood spreading into Faer?n could be gone.

  “You could reschedule the Malvatta one later in the day,” Arun suggests.

  “Perhaps I don’t need to attend both in person.”

  Je Suis and Arun both glance at me.

  “What do you mean?” Je Suis questions.

  I turn towards Arun.

  “Why don’t you go in my place to Timbertown?”

  Clearly caught off guard with the question, he points to his own chest.

  “Me?”

  “You’ve sat in on enough of my work throughout the day here to know the kind of terms we use. Besides, you can be steadier than me when it comes to listening before speaking. Je Suis… would you go with him instead? I can handle Malvatta.”

  “An intriguing idea actually,” she says genuinely. “I wouldn’t mind the company and it’s been a while since I’ve visited.”

  Arun bites his nails for a moment.

  “And you’d… trust me with this?”

  “Absolutely,” I reply. “This way Blackwood would keep both relationships intact and it would give you the chance to see how these events actually play out rather than just looking at my notes afterward.”

  I can feel the tension in what I’m asking. This isn’t only business. This is me sending him into a room full of uppity businessmen where my presence is a shield.

  To my surprise, he agrees and Je Suis raises her glass in celebration.

  “Then it’s settled,” she notes. “In just four days, I’ll get to see Arun in Alexios’s seat.”

  I clink my glass lightly to hers and then to him, but my mind won’t stop thinking about how the merchants will see him and the selfish part of me, wonders how I’ll feel not having him next to me.

  I hate being apart from him. Even for a second.

  Arun still doesn’t look entirely convinced of his ability. I rest my hand over his and lean in so that my voice is for him alone.

  “You’ll do wonderful,” I whisper. “Half of it truly is just listening to them speak. Let them talk themselves into revealing what they want the most. From there, you’ll get a better idea of when to speak so they think you’re giving them the world, but you’re really just settling the terms.”

  “But what if they try to press me?”

  “You don’t have to commit to anything on the spot,” I tell him honestly. “Let them know that you’ll take it under consideration and you’ll bring it to my attention. Je Suis will be there with you. If they start circling like hawks, she’ll clip their wings on your behalf.”

  “I definitely will,” Je Suis says from across the table.

  Arun tries to smile, but he’s clearly still weighing what I’m asking him to do.

  “I’ll help you put together the documents,” I add in. “Je Suis and I will put together everything you’ll need so you can quote them without hesitation. We’ll even spend the evening before going over figures and the existing contracts.”

  He leans down and kisses my forehead softly.

  “You really trust me to do this, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I say. “I trust you so much to do this that I’d rather have you there representing me rather than all the men I’ve dealt with in years.”

  Je Suis sips the last of her wine before rising gracefully.

  “I’ll leave you two to your day,” she expresses as she walks back into the dining hall.

  The silence is a bit softer now without her presence and Arun’s gaze out into the garden is still rather distant.

  “I just don’t want to fail you,” he admits quietly as he threads his fingers with mine.

  “You won’t,” I cut in softly. “Arun… I love you, do you understand?”

  This time, my confession doesn’t carry the heat like it did in the library, but it’s still the truth, even out here on the veranda. Some of the tension leaves his body as his shoulder relax.

  “I love you too,” he answers back.

  By the evening time, my desk is buried in documents, letters and ledgers. Arun steps into my study quietly.

  “Let’s look this over, shall we?” I tell him, gesturing for him to come closer. “We’ll need to use these four days wisely. Tonight is just the start, yes?”

  He comes to stand next to me and I see his eyes widening as he scans the array of papers.

  “This is all for the meeting in Timbertown?”

  I nod quickly.

  “These are the current contracts with Nimble Grove and Banquort,” I answer, tapping a small stack. “The other documents are shipping projections for next season based on last years’ numbers. Now listen, these bastards will try to get you to agree to high quantities at fixed prices.”

  He leans forward, looking over the numbers on one of the pages.

  “I’m assuming I shouldn’t give them what they want immediately.”

  “My advice is to start higher than we can promise so when you drop to what we actually want and can do, they’ll think they’ve won.”

  I slide a ledger toward him.

  “And… if they press harder, I should say, ‘That will require Alexios’s approval’, correct?”

  “Correct, my love.”

  I watch him pick up my quill as he copies key figures onto a fresh sheet of paper. To my surprise, there’s no nervous tapping in his movement.

  I stand up from my chair and circle behind him so I can wrap my arms around his waist.

  “Our days of preparing are not about you proving yourself to me or this plantation. I want you to feel confident about walking into that room and knowing that you already own it.”

  “And if I make a mistake?”

  “Then we’ll correct it afterwards,” I say confidently. “I don’t expect I’ll need to, however. We’ll run through each of these until the meeting. By then, I guarantee you’ll know every number as if you’ve been keeping these rather than myself.”

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  He smiles softly and his amber eyes begin to shine with determination.

  “Alright, let’s begin then.”

  As I pull each document from the stack and explain its relevancy, Arun copies the essential numbers into one of his journals. He keeps his writing neat and it’s a breath of fresh air from those “seasoned” merchants who think they know everything.

  Hours slip by and every so often, I pause and watch how he frowns when doing calculations.

  “You’re very… thorough,” I remark as he cross-checks shipment numbers from last year’s total.

  “I don’t want to be wrong, Alexios.”

  “I don’t think you realize how important that is to me,” I admit. “Too many men in this business believe being quick means they’re seasoned and confident. I believe it’s actually ignorance.”

  He huffs and returns back to his work. When I hear the quill stop, I slide over the last document for the night.

  “This is a summary of agreements with Pipinton. Can you guess what they’ll try to do with it?”

  He studies the sheet, tapping his finger on specific lines.

  “I’m assuming they’ll pretend to misunderstand certain clauses in the agreement so they can push for more.”

  “Exactly. You’re already thinking like someone who’s done this before.”

  I allow myself a satisfied smile as the ledger in front of Arun becomes half full with his own writing.

  I move behind him again to rest my hands on his shoulders.

  “You’ve done enough for tonight, my beloved. If I push you for more, you’ll forget what you’ve just learned.”

  “Feels like I still have too much to learn anyway.”

  “You do,” I agree as I press my thumbs lightly into the small knots of tension near his shoulder blades. “But we also have a few days. I’ll make sure you’re ready.”

  He exhales slowly and I squeeze his shoulders once more before stepping back.

  “What will we do tomorrow night then?” Arun asks.

  “Tomorrow night, we’ll go through the talking points and rehearse answers to certain questions they usually like to ask.”

  As we leave my study, I look back at the desk, admiring the careful notes he’s made. The merchants won’t be expecting him and that will make it much more satisfying when he surprises them.

  I step back on the veranda, taking in the moonlight while Arun disappears upstairs to put away his journal.

  You have been quiet.

  I sigh deeply.

  She’s not exactly wrong. I haven’t sought her out in… more than two weeks now.

  It seems as if you have forgotten who made you more than what you were.

  “I haven’t forgotten,” I speak quietly, keeping my eyes on the way the night breeze shifts through the bed of roses.

  You told him you loved him and every word was thick with devotion and desperation. Did you forget I was listening?

  “That moment was between him and me.”

  Nothing between you and him is just between you two. You should know that by now, Alexios. You have given him pieces of yourself that you have never given me.

  “You’ve had my loyalty for more than 150 years now, remember? As soon as you drank from me.”

  Loyalty? That love is not the same as the loyalty you give me. Remember yourself. You can tell him you love him all you want, but do not forget that your heart beats because I allow it.

  If it was not for my intervention, you would have died down there.

  Before I can think, the wine glass I’m holding leaves my hand, thrown carelessly in a fit of anger.

  --

  The next night, the door to my study opens and Arun drifts in.

  “Is it time?” he asks patiently.

  “Yes,” I answer, gesturing him closer.

  Arun sits cross-legged on the rug in front of the hearth with his journal cracked open in his lap as he reviews the notes from last night. I’m half listening to the sound of his quill scratching when the air in the room shifts.

  Are you keeping him close tonight so you can whisper more devotions to him?

  Not now, I think to myself.

  Now. Confess to him again, Alexios. Let me hear if it still sounds just as sincere now that you remember I hold every thread of your fate.

  I look toward Arun, but he hasn’t even looked up from his ledger and is completely unaware of her presence surrounding me.

  You’re overreaching.

  No, Alexios. I am reminding you once again that your heart beats because I let it. You give it to him as if it is truly yours to give.

  I want to ignore her, but her threats are too sharp to avoid.

  “I love you,” I whisper softly. “So much. I mean it.”

  He closes the journal softly.

  “I love you too.”

  The queen’s presence retreats but I can feel her disappointment lingering like a bruise.

  Arun rises from the floor, placing a soft kiss on my nose before settling down in the armchair across from me.

  I want to focus on him, but the reminder that she is never far from me won’t leave my mind.

  I’ve been nothing but loyal to her. Every order she’s ever given, I’ve followed without a single question or hesitation.

  So why this?

  Why now?

  If she wanted my devotion, she’s had it since the moment she pressed her fangs into my neck and drank. I’ve even been exceptionally obedient to her. I’ve never denied a task, but she speaks as if I’ve betrayed her by confessing my love to Arun.

  My confession to him has not taken anything away from her, has it?

  I run my fingers across my mouth, sighing deeply. I wonder if this isn’t actually about “loyalty”, but rather possession. She wants every part of me to belong to her.

  Untouched by anyone else.

  Especially Arun.

  If that’s true… then it doesn’t matter how obedient I’ve been. Is her anger something I can soothe or…?

  The fire in the hearth snaps and it pulls me right out of my thoughts. I close the ledger and sit for a while as Arun continues scanning through old contracts.

  “Why don’t you get some sleep, my love?”

  He glances up at me, but I can see the hesitation in his eyes.

  “I… I think I just have too much to go through tonight.”

  “Do not worry about it right now,” I answer. “It will be here tomorrow as will I.”

  I expect him to push a bit further, but thankfully, he doesn’t. He nods, stands from the armchair and comes around the desk to press a soft kiss to my lips.

  “Come join me soon, please. I don’t like being without you either.”

  I smile softly and nod.

  “Anything for you.”

  And I mean it too.

  --

  When morning comes, my queen’s words are still flooding my mind. Apparently, Arun is already downstairs reviewing the latest reports with Je Suis. I stay in our bedroom alone for now, keeping the door locked so no one can interrupt my conversation.

  I close my eyes and reach for her presence. She listens instantly, but I can still feel displeasure in her aura.

  So, you do remember how to reach for me after all.

  “I remember many things,” I answer. “Specifically, how I’ve been nothing but loyal to you.”

  You feel the need to keep reminding me, I see.

  “You feel the need to keep forgetting,” I say, carefully keeping my voice as even as I can. “I’ve always carried out every order without hesitation. I’ve listened to you.”

  You give him words you have never given me, Alexios.

  I sigh deeply, exhausted already by her words.

  “What I give you are not words though. I give you action. I drink their blood for you even though I am not what you are.”

  That may be, but if you heart belongs elsewhere…

  I pace quickly through the room as my hand runs through my long locks of silver hair, the firelight catching on a few of the black streaks.

  “Do you talk to Marquis like this as well?” I ask suddenly. “Where is that bastard anyway?”

  Marquis is my protector.

  My guardian.

  He plays a different role than you, Alexios.

  I roll my eyes dramatically just so she can see how fed up I am with her.

  “Where is he?”

  My eyes quickly glance at the locked door, reminding myself to quiet down so Arun or even a servant can’t overhear.

  That is not for you to know. He is protecting us. He is doing his duty.

  You need to do yours.

  Us.

  Her husband.

  Her king.

  “I see,” I whisper in frustration. “So, I’m just your bitch, I suppose?”

  You are my weapon, Alexios. Fulfill your duties just as Marquis does.

  Before I can answer back, her presence pulls back from my mind.

  I sigh as my hands tighten on the edge of the table near the hearth. I had hoped to just soothe her disappointment, but I may have just pushed her even further now.

  I unlock the bedroom door and step quietly downstairs. Even with the warmth running through the house, her chill still runs through me. As I make it to my study, I can hear Arun and Je Suis talking quietly to one another.

  They’re seated on the couch in front of the already lit hearth as the sun streams in through the window, covering the piles of documents in golden light. Je Suis leans forward and taps her pointer finger on a section of a large map while Arun takes notes.

  I cough as I make my way to the desk, causing both of them to look up.

  “There you are,” Je Suis says. “I wanted to walk him through any potential shipping adjustments for the next season.”

  I force my attention to the documents spread across the desk, desperate to take my mind off this morning’s conversation with my queen.

  “Have you seen the previous projections from last year, Arun?”

  He nods politely as Je Suis cuts in.

  “He actually noticed the discrepancies between last year’s plan and the actual numbers.”

  I look over at Arun and he only shrugs, as if what he did was nothing at all.

  “It wasn’t exactly hard to see.”

  My eyebrows rise, impressed by how sharp he’s becoming with this work. Perhaps he always has been sharp when it comes to this.

  Je Suis finishes outlining a series of notes and then abruptly stands from the couch.

  “I’ll leave these notes here. We should review them together before dinner. I have correspondence to send before the courier leaves.”

  When she steps out, Arun finishes writing a final number in one of the margins of his journal and glances over at me.

  “You seem… off today.”

  “Off in what way, my beloved?” I ask, attempting to keep my tone light so his speculation doesn’t cross into dangerous territory.

  “You just seem… heavier this morning,” he responds carefully. “Did something happen?”

  I could tell him the truth right now. I really could, couldn’t I?

  But the thought of dragging that shadow out feels wrong.

  “I just don’t like the idea of being away from you,” I answer. Technically, it’s not a lie. It’s just not the full truth.

  Thankfully, the concern on his face washes away.

  “It’s only a meeting, Alexios.”

  “I know,” I whisper. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’d rather be in bed with you all day and night.”

  He laughs and shakes his head as a lovely, deep color rushes to his cheeks.

  “You are perpetually horny, aren’t you?”

  “Possibly,” I admit, laughing slightly. “But to be fair, I’ve never claimed otherwise. Besides, it’s for you and you only.”

  The tension eases up at my admission as it fills with the grounding presence and calmness that only Arun can give.

  By evening, the servants are moving softly through the halls as roasted chicken drifts out from the kitchens. Arun and I are out on the veranda reviewing shipment projections again one last time for the night.

  He sits across from me, his robe sleeve brushes against the open journal as he writes. Arun is nothing short of determined now.

  You trust him far too easily.

  I keep my eyes on Arun as the dread fills me again.

  Not now, please.

  When then, Alexios? When he is standing in front of the council representing your name and work, giving away what you have earned?

  I stand abruptly, a soft cough leaving my lips as I politely bow to Arun.

  “Give me one moment, my beloved.”

  When I walk back into the house, I’m practically seething with rage.

  “He’s representing my interests,” I whisper angrily.

  He is representing himself. When they see such a young and eager thing… they will test and try to shape him. What if he finds that he likes being shaped by someone other than you?

  A cold knot twists low in my chest as I stomp into my study, slamming the door shut behind me.

  He could easily end up belonging to another. You will be busy with your own meeting, Alexios.

  “Stop it,” I growl. “What in the nine hells is your problem? Why don’t you go bother your precious protector.”

  The word “precious” spills out of my mouth like bile.

  “Surprised he hasn’t abandoned you like he does everyone else,” I continue bitterly.

  Watch your mouth, Alexios. You are becoming quite… impudent as of late.

  I scoff, slamming one of the ledgers down harshly on the desk.

  Before I can fight back on her words, a knock comes at my study door just before Arun peeks his head inside.

  “Is everything okay, Alexios?” he asks, worried.

  “Yes, I just…” my voice falls short. I nod sharply, fingers raking through my hair.

  “I’m sorry. I thought I heard yelling so I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

  I sit down harshly in my chair and swallow sharply.

  “Yes, of course. Thank you, beloved.”

  He studies me for a few seconds before eventually nodding and leaving the study. My eyes drop down to the scattered documents left on the desk as the door closes behind him, but my mind is completely split.

  A part of me stays on Arun and preparing him for the meeting, but the other half stays on her venomous presence.

  --

  The fire in our bedroom has almost burned down to embers at this point in the night. I lie there staring up at the ceiling, unable to trance as I should.

  Arun sleeps soundly beside me with one arm resting loosely across my waist. I turn toward him and brush a sliver of his curly hair back from his face before kissing his cheek.

  “I love you,” I whisper to him. He doesn’t stir, but I feel his fingers softly flex around me. Maybe he didn’t hear me, but a part of him heard me anyway.

  I slip out of bed slowly, pulling on a loose sleep shirt before stepping out into the hallway. I take the servants’ staircase to the veranda.

  The stars overhead blur slightly and then…

  The air right in front of me shifts slightly.

  She takes shape, but it’s not exactly solid. I know she isn’t here in the flesh, but her presence is still unnervingly real enough.

  The queen looks exquisite as always with her crown of tight braids and jeweled adornments framing her face while black hair spills down her chest and back. Shimmers of gold trace her brown skin and as she steps towards me, her flowing silks catch not only the breeze but the moonlight too.

  “I see you are having trouble quieting your thoughts,” she says gently, but I know better.

  “I needed fresh air,” I say as I shift my gaze back to the bed of roses.

  “Yet, you are thinking of me instead of your beloved tiefling,” she scowls. “How flattering.”

  “Well, you make it difficult to ignore you,” I answer as my heartbeat begins to race.

  She steps closer to me and I see her form waver slightly, but her molten gold eyes are still pinning into me.

  “You can kiss him and whisper your love in the dark, but do not forget that every breath you take beside him is because of me.”

  “For fuck’s sake… don’t you forget that every order you’ve given, I’ve carried out flawlessly. That should absolutely count for something.”

  “It does,” she breathes out as her voice dips lower. “Of course, it does.”

  My queen’s sharp nails run down my chest as she circles behind me. I keep my eyes on anything except her.

  “What do you want me to do then?”

  “Anything I ask, Alexios. But without distraction. Without delay.”

  She walks to face me again, cupping my jaw while her lips brush mine in a kiss that feels more like being branded now. When she pulls away, her eyes are almost… glowing.

  I nod slowly.

  “While you are away on your business trip, you will kill someone for me. A man in the merchant quarter. His name will be given to you when you depart. No questions, no delays and absolutely no distractions.”

  “And if something happens?”

  Her smile feels like a knife against my throat.

  “I would hate to visit your sweet… partner while you are gone.”

  I gasp sharply, but she fades away into the night breeze before I can stop her.

  For a moment, I stand completely frozen, then my fingers curl painfully against the railing as my breath comes out in sharp gasps.

  My chest feels far too tight and my heartbeat is hammering up into my throat.

  Would she actually do it?

  The image of Arun startled and cornered with her hands on him flashes in my mind and it immediately makes my stomach turn. Bile rushes into my mouth, but I try my best to push it down.

  I force myself to the ground, with one hand pressing against the coldness of the wooden floor while one had presses against my chest to try and calm my heart.

  She might have been bluffing… but she might have meant every word.

  With her, there’s never a true clear line.

  After several minutes of harsh inhale and exhale of breath, my heartbeat finally begins to slow. Only then can I even step back inside the house, but her threat follows me back to the quietness of the bedroom.

  Arun is still curled in the same exact place he was when I left the room. I strip off my shirt and slide beneath the covers, knowing I don’t want to wake him but I’m simply unable to stop myself from pulling him into my arms.

  I cannot let him go.

  He stirs slightly, but it’s only to let out a relaxed sigh before he settles against me as his hand finds its way over my heart. My arms tighten around him and before I can stop myself…

  I pray.

  Not to her.

  Never to her.

  But to something outward… to anywhere that might matter.

  If any of you can truly hear me, please don’t take him from me. Please, I’m begging you. I was made for him, I just know I was.

  I don’t give a shit if it’s a god I’ve never worshipped or a power I’ve never believed in. My entire life after escaping House Baenre has been built on keeping what I claim, but he is different.

  I can’t find it in me to trance tonight so I focus on the slow and steady beat of Arun’s pulse against my body. My arms never let him go.

  --

  Morning inches by and I’m left still staring at the ceiling. My arms are still wrapped tightly around Arun as if I’ve been guarding my greatest treasure all night.

  Arun shifts around on my chest, his eyes blinking sleepily in the sunlight.

  “You’re up?” he asks quietly. His voice is still rough with sleep.

  “I wanted to look into your precious eyes first thing in the morning,” I answer back. “I like waking up with you here.”

  Again… not a lie, but not the complete story either. It’s true enough though, I suppose.

  I smooth my hand down his back and I realize he’s looking up at me, desperate to figure out if there’s more to the story. I lean down to kiss his lips before he can ask any further questions.

  A firm knock sounds at the door and I pull the sheets further up to shield Arun’s body.

  “Come in,” I say loudly.

  Je Suis struts inside, obviously not bothered by the sight as she drops a stack of papers on the nearest table.

  “Let’s start early today,” she says. “You both need to be properly prepared for your meetings so we’ll need every hour we can get now.”

  Arun sits up, rubbing his eyes while I lean against the headboard.

  “Alright” I tell her. “Give us a moment and we’ll be downstairs shortly.”

  She sighs.

  “Don’t take too long, alright?”

  I nod slowly and with that, she leaves with the same sharpness she entered our bedroom with.

  “You’re very quiet this morning, Alexios.”

  I look over at Arun briefly before reaching for my shirt.

  “Just thinking ahead.”

  I want whatever happened last night to stay locked inside. He shouldn’t have to carry that.

  As we stand, I find myself running my fingertips over his shoulders to ground me in this moment.

  He is here.

  He is safe.

  He is not in her wicked grasp.

  --

  Je Suis is already seated at the long table in the dining hall, flipping through a stack of contracts and documents.

  “Arun,” she says quickly as she gestures to the chair beside her. “Take this seat, alright? I want you to be able to see me and the notes. Alexios, you should sit opposite of him. Your job is to observe, but you can correct him if necessary.”

  I take my place and let Je Suis control the room, but my eyes stay on Arun the entire time. He promptly looks over the papers she pushes towards him.

  “Let’s start with the most aggressive merchant who I guarantee will be there,” Je Suis notes, tapping the top of the page. “Sanar will push for your agreement on lower prices soon as he can. Do not let him get the opportunity or others will follow.”

  I watch them as Arun listens intently. He begins to take notes and I can’t help but let my eyes fall to the doors, the windows and even the empty hallway.

  I know it’s because of her.

  She’s always watching.

  When Arun looks over at me, I meet his anxious eyes.

  “Just remember… if they try to circle you, tell them you need to consult with me first before agreeing to anything. I don’t want them to dictate the pace, okay?”

  He nods and writes the comment in his notes.

  The next hour is filled with projections and strategies for every possible turn the conversation could take. I’m in awe with the way Arun handles them with calm precision, but of course… my eyes drift back to the doors and to the flicker of movement in the gardens outside the windows.

  “I think that’s enough for this morning,” Je Suis comments.

  I rise first and offer my hand to Arun to help him up. Every time I look at him, I think about last night and how she could easily act on her threat if I fuck anything up, intentional or not.

  --

  I move around our bedroom in the evening, packing up pressed robes that have been folded into a neat stack, documents for the Malvatta suppliers and even a dagger. Every fold of cloth feels heavier and I begin to feel as if I’m packing more than just clothes into my case.

  A knock at the door disrupts my thoughts, thankfully.

  Je Suis steps inside and looks around the bedroom.

  “You’re still just as thorough as I recall,” she remarks, stepping closer to look inside an open chest. “I expected nothing less from you, obviously.”

  “I like to be prepared,” I reply as I fold one last shirt into place.

  “Prepared for business or something else?”

  I look at her sharply, trying to dissect what she could have meant by that, but if I call attention to it, I’ll look suspicious.

  I let it pass for now.

  “Both require the same discipline, do they not?”

  She narrows her eyes at me before moving to search the documents resting beside my case.

  “I’m assuming these are the finalized contracts?”

  “Yes, I even gave Arun a copy for his meeting as well.”

  She smiles at the mention of Arun’s name.

  “Looks like you’ve trained him well. I’ll make sure he’s calm before we go in.”

  I close the lid of my case and fasten the clasps with care.

  “Good. I will need you to keep him safe while I’m away from him, understand?

  The look in Je Suis’s eyes at my words set me on alert. I’ve said too much and she hears something beneath my words.

  “Safe from what exactly?” she asks.

  “The council can be rather unpredictable,” I respond smoothly, hoping that answer is enough for her to move on from it.

  Her head tilts to the side, but she lets it go.

  “We’ll leave before the sun rises. Be ready, okay?”

  When she eventually steps out, I glance over at the dagger barely hidden on the bed before I slip it into the secret compartment hidden on the side of my case.

  I don’t expect trouble at the meeting, but I know her task waits for me in the shadows of the merchant quarters.

  --

  The sky is still dark when Arun and I get out of bed. The sounds of servants moving quietly through the house carries even up here.

  We step downstairs together and Je Suis is already dressed for travel. Her red hair is bound neatly in a long side braid and Arun walks up beside her to assist with fastening the clasp on her long forest green coat.

  I cross over to them before either of them can say anything. My hands settle on Arun’s waist, pulling him close.

  “You’ll see me in a few days,” he whispers with a small smile. It doesn’t stop him from leaning closer into my chest.

  “I love you,” I say. “More than you will ever know. More than I’ve told you, do you understand?”

  He laughs softly, tilting his head up to kiss my jaw.

  “You told me plenty last night.”

  “Not enough,” I counter. “I need you to know before you go in there and face all those merchants and before I’m far away from you.”

  A spark of curiosity flashes in his eyes, but he shakes it off as his hands grip my coat. I can feel Je Suis watching, but I don’t care in the slightest.

  I lean down to slowly kiss him, desperate to hold him here forever but I know I can’t.

  “Be careful, alright?” I tell him. “And listen to Je Suis.”

  “I will,” he says honestly.

  To my reluctancy, I let him go and regret it immediately as he steps towards the door, the cold, early morning air greeting us.

  When the door closes behind him, the silence of the manor feels far heavier than the darkness before the sun rises.