Arun

  Before I even realize it, the library has risen from the manor’s west wing. Between my art classes, the tutor’s visits and the music lessons, I’ve watched it transform little by little every time I secretly pass by to catch a glimpse.

  This morning, Alexios finally confirms its completion.

  We walk together down the hallway and my tail swishes behind me anxiously. The smooth, dark wooden door is new and he’s even incorporated the same carved vine border that’s seen throughout the house. Alexios opens it for me and steps aside so I can be the one to enter first.

  Sunlight pours from the tall windows, bathing every inch of the library in its warm glow. The sheer height of the bookshelves stop me in my tracks. They rise from floor to ceiling and some are already filled with volumes I recognize from Alexios’s own library. A few of the other shelves have brand new books with untouched spines that catch the sun’s gold light.

  There’s even a reading nook built into the corner of the far wall. Beautifully plush cushions are piled up on the nook’s deep blue velvet. Across from it, a hearth has been put in place and the servants must have come by earlier to lay it with wood ready to be burned.

  Next to that, a table with swirling patterns sketched into it waits for me. Instantly, I realize it’s the exact size I’d want for sketching and sorting through my various assortment of reference materials.

  I take a few steps forward, eyes roaming around the room in amazement.

  “Alexios… it’s beautiful.”

  He’s still leaning in the doorway to give this moment to me completely.

  “It’s all yours.”

  I trail my fingers along the shelves and pull down a book at random. I can’t help but smile as I feel the weight of it in my hands. My mind is already filling up with the thoughts of how many hours I’ll spend here.

  Maybe mornings with tea and pastries.

  Rainy afternoons.

  Chilly nights curled in the reading nook with a thick blanket.

  “You’ve given me so much. The classes, the music lessons, the trips… and now this. I don’t even know what to say anymore.”

  “I told you I want to give you everything. That will never change.”

  I place the book on the table and walk back over to him.

  “Alexios, you’ve somehow done so much more than that.”

  I step closer, wrapping my arms around his waist as I feel his hands slide around my shoulders to pull me in.

  I realize, without him saying it, he’s telling me something here.

  I am in love with him…

  And he is in love with me too. Perhaps even more than I will ever truly understand.

  I refuse to pull away from him right now so I keep resting my cheek against his chest as I feel the warmth of his body through his shirt.

  “You know I don’t just love you for this, right?” I question.

  I feel his body tense up ever so slightly as I look up at him, hands still wrapped around his waist.

  “I love you, Alexios. Not just because of the fancy clothes or the classes or even this. Yes, those are incredibly exquisite things and I’ll always be grateful for them, I hope you know that. But they’re not you.”

  I realize immediately that I’ve confessed too much. I should just apologize and leave the library. I’ll tell him I had too much wine and I wasn’t thinking clearly.

  “Arun…” he whispers, letting me go.

  I grab at his hand, desperate for him to tell me what’s going on in that head of his. It seems that he’s just… puzzled.

  “Please don’t be afraid of this, Alexios. Don’t lock your heart away like you do sometimes.”

  To my surprise, he grabs my hand and holds it up to his lips, leaving a kiss on my knuckles.

  “No, I just…”

  He shakes his head. It seems he can’t find the right words to say so I’ll give him mine.

  “When I come to you at the end of the day, I feel… safe,” I say. “You make space for me, even when you are too tired or stressed. Somewhere in there… I know you care about me in ways you are too scared to say just yet. That’s okay.”

  He doesn’t speak, but his fingers tighten around my hand, not in an attempt to hurt me but to let me know that he hears me.

  “I mean it,” I whisper. “You’re a good man, Alexios.”

  “I’m not…” he says, inhaling sharply as his eyes clinch together tightly. “I’m not a good man.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask softly. “Look at how much you’ve changed when it comes to the servants. I guarantee they’d agree you’re good now. I can see it.”

  He stays silent with his eyes still closed.

  Tell me what you’re thinking about, Alexios. Let me in.

  I pull away just enough to look around the library again. I know exactly what to say to make him smile at me again.

  I lower my head a little as my tail flicks behind me once.

  “Will you… ever make love to me in here?”

  When I look back up, his eyes are open and locked in on me. I’ve surprised him in the way he enjoys it most.

  “Are you blushing?”

  “No,” I mumble, but the heat rushes to my cheeks anyway.

  He leans in closer as his mouth moves right to my ear.

  “Oh, you are. I will, of course. How could I ever say no to you?”

  I bite my lip and laugh, happy to see him loosening up again.

  “But I want to earn it,” he continues. “I want to earn the privilege of being in here with you. This is your space, remember?”

  Alexios leans down to kiss the base of both of my horns before gesturing for me to explore further.

  I wander deeper into the library and it feels like every shelf is inviting me into it. There are collections of poetry, history books bound in worn leather and even a few thick atlases I know I will be losing myself in for hours at a time.

  The reading nook draws me in next and I sink into the soft cushions. The velvet is so soft that I could disappear into it with a book and completely forget the world outside.

  Except for Alexios, of course. I could never forget about him.

  I peek back over at the door and see that Alexios is still leaning there watching me. I pull my knees up onto the cushion and curl into the corner, imagining mornings spent curled up with Alexios and a hot cup of tea.

  As my eyes explore the rest of the room, I see a ladder on wheels for the highest shelves. I can already picture myself climbing it to pick out some dusty old history book.

  Je Suis appears in the doorway as her eyes sweep over the room.

  “Gods,” she breathes out. “Alexios told me he was working on a project, but this… this is extraordinary.”

  She steps inside slowly, her eyes moving from the high shelves to the windows and to the reading nook.

  I can’t help but grin. Alexios bows to us both, before leaving to give Je Suis and I a moment alone.

  “It’s perfect.”

  “Alexios has had this manor for decades. He’s never used it to create a space as stunning as this for another person.”

  She turns to me, smiling brightly.

  “He’s been… giving me so much lately. I didn’t think there could even be more.”

  As her eyes continue to take in the small details of the room, she shakes her head knowingly.

  “I don’t think he’s been giving you just… things, Arun. It seems like Alexios is giving you parts of himself when he does this.”

  I glance quickly at the doorway, desperately hoping Alexios isn’t overhearing our conversation. Thankfully, he’s nowhere to be found now.

  Je Suis wanders further in and touches the back of one of the armchairs like she’s testing the quality of the upholstery before coming over to settle into one side of the reading nook.

  “So, are you going to tell me how it feels to have an entire library built just for you?” she asks.

  I tuck my legs up into my chest again as my tail wraps around my ankles.

  “It feels… unbelievable. I’m worried that if I touch things too much, it’ll vanish. Like this is all just a dream.”

  She laughs softly.

  “I don’t think it’s going anywhere. Not unless Alexios decides to tear the entire manor down for some reason. I think he’d rather tear his own heart out at his point than take this away from you.”

  I give her a playful glance.

  “You’re just teasing.”

  “Am I? I’ve known him for a long time and you are the first person I’ve ever seen him look at as if losing you would absolutely destroy him.”

  The weight of the last few words is so heavy that I have to look down to bear them.

  “He’s done so much for me. I don’t know how to repay him.”

  She reaches over to pat my knee.

  “He doesn’t want you to, sweetheart. Besides, he already knows you’re worth more than anything he could possibly buy.”

  Before I can respond, Alexios appears in the doorway again.

  “I see you’ve discovered the reading nook,” he says.

  “I have,” she responds as she rises to her feet. “I wholeheartedly approve of everything.”

  She gives me a sly wink before slipping past him through the doorway. Alexios moves towards me and stops at the edge of the cushions.

  “Do you like it?” he asks, almost cautiously. “Is there anything you’d change?”

  I scoff lightly.

  “Change?” I ask as I look around. There’s not a single flaw. “No, Alexios. It’s… stunning. I wouldn’t change a single thing.”

  I see his shoulders ease a bit and he lowers himself onto the reading nook with me.

  “Good. I wanted to make sure it didn’t feel like something I just threw together because I could.”

  “You’ve given me a lot of things because you could,” I say, teasingly.

  “I have,” he admits. “But this… I had this built because I wanted you to have a place where you could feel completely safe and be yourself.”

  A blush creeps up to my cheeks again so I look down at my hands.

  “You’ve certainly succeeded.”

  “I’d like to keep succeeding if you’ll allow it,” Alexios says as his hand moves along the back of the cushions until his fingers brush a few loose strands of my hair. “Come here, my love.”

  I slide closer instantly and his arm comes down from the cushion to pull me gently until I’m pressed against him.

  “Much better,” he whispers.

  I lean into him further, matching the steady rise and fall of his breath with mine.

  “I don’t know how to give you anything in return.”

  “You already have.”

  When he tips my chin up to join our lips, I wrap my hands in the fabric of his shirt and pull him into me. His other hand wraps around my waist, kneading small circles into my ribs.

  “I hope you’ll spend a lot of time in here and that sometimes… you’ll allow me the privilege of being in here with you.”

  “I would love that,” I whisper back. “Actually… may I show you something?”

  “Something in here?”

  “Yes,” I answer, moving to stand up from the nook. “But I need your help first.”

  He stands without a single question and follows me over to the tall windows.

  “What are we doing?”

  “Closing the curtains,” I answer plainly, pointing to the heavy fabric. “All of them. It has to be completely dark in here or it won’t work like I want it to.”

  My answer makes him raise an eyebrow, but he does as I ask and draws each curtain shut until every sliver of sunlight is gone and the library is swallowed up in complete darkness.

  “Now what?”

  I step into the center of the room and lift my hands, letting that familiar tingle of magic flow through my fingers.

  “I’ve been practicing illusion spells. Sorry… didn’t tell you.”

  There’s a pause, but I can hear the soft steps of his feet on the carpet.

  “Illusion spells?” he repeats. “I thought you only did restoration.”

  “I kept it a secret. I wanted to surprise you and this seems like a good moment.”

  I take a deep breath as light blooms out from my hands. Suddenly, the ceiling of the library isn’t there and neither are the walls. The illusion of a night sky stretches around us and it’s so deep that it feels like we’ve stepped into another world.

  Stars scatter in every direction, with some even seeming close enough to reach for. Planets drift by and just overhead, an impossibly detailed nebula blossoms in ribbons of pinks and blues.

  Alexios’s eyes are blown wide and I can see the reflection of the galaxies in them. He takes a slow step forward, head tilted up as if he’s trying to fall into it.

  “Arun…” he breathes. “This is… gods… this is powerful. How long have you…?”

  “Months,” I admit. “I wanted it to feel like walking through the night sky, but better and much brighter. It seems like it could go on forever.”

  He turns to me and there’s something… raw in his eyes. The spell has completely stripped away his usual composure. He stands rooted to the floor as the silver-blue glow of the stars casts over his features.

  His mouth is parted in awe and gods, I swear there’s the softest shimmer in his eyes.

  I don’t want to speak. If I do, the spell will break.

  But I don’t mean the illusion enveloping us. I mean this… whatever is happening to him right now.

  Alexios keeps his hands at his sides, but I can see his fingers flexing like he’s holding back the urge to reach out and touch the stars swirling above us.

  “Are you…” I hesitate. “Are you crying?”

  …

  “Maybe.”

  I almost laugh, but I smother it down before it can leave my chest. I don’t want to ruin this moment for him.

  “Alexios…”

  He shakes his head sharply.

  “Arun, you were right. I’ve kept my heart locked away for… gods… longer than I even want to put into years. A long time ago, I was forced to learn that to survive, I shouldn’t allow myself to feel deeply. I shouldn’t allow anyone in deep enough to hurt me. After all, it’s safer that way, right?”

  I swallow harshly.

  “And now…?”

  Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

  “And now…” he inhales sharply. “Now I find myself watching how your tail moves when you read something that excites you. I find myself wanting to be the one to give you everything you could ever dream of, just to see your amber eyes light up.”

  His hand lifts to brush his fingers along my jaw. I can feel the way his fingertips tremble against my skin.

  “I love you,” he admits. “I love you so much that it makes my body ache. I love you in ways I never thought I could anymore. Yes, it terrifies the fuck out of me. The last time I felt this way, I lost him. The universe took him right in front of me without mercy. I’ve been so afraid that if I admit those three words to you, the same thing will happen again and that the gods will decide I am no longer worthy of being yours.”

  Fresh tears spill freely down his face.

  “Alexios…”

  “I don’t think I can keep it in anymore, Arun. You are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. I picture you in every plan I make and now I’m standing here under your incredible magic, feeling like I’m already in the only peaceful afterlife I’ll ever believe in.”

  I wanted a confession… but I never imagined it would be as deep as this.

  “You… you really mean it?” I choke out through tears.

  He moves forward to cup my face in his hands, thumbs caressing my cheekbones.

  “With every breath I have left, yes.”

  Then I’m kissing him. Or…

  Maybe he’s kissing me?

  It doesn’t matter who moved first because once it starts, it feels like we are drowning and breathing air at the same time. His arms wrap around me, pulling me close as our tears drip down our faces and onto our lips.

  His kisses are hungrier than they’ve ever been in the past. Between them, his words spill out in ragged pieces.

  “I love the way you laugh when I say something stupid.”

  A slow kiss.

  “I love when you argue with me when you think I’m wrong. It’s even better when I know I’m wrong.”

  His lips move to my cheek.

  “I love that you’ve made me a better man.”

  I can barely breathe now. The stars spin overhead like the whole sky is responding to us.

  “I love how gentle and patient you are with everyone and everything. I love that you still choose to treat me the same way even after you saw what I’m capable of.”

  His hands slide down my arms as the kisses deepen again.

  “I love how sleepy you look in the morning, with your curly hair all ruffled and tangled.”

  A kiss to one horn.

  “I love your mind and the way you light up when you are sketching.”

  A kiss to my eyebrow.

  “I love your stubbornness.”

  A kiss on my lips.

  The tears keep falling as his voice breaks even more with each admission, but he refuses to stop.

  “I love you, Arun. I love you in ways I don’t think I will ever have the words for. I promise I will keep loving you until this body gives out.”

  When I try to answer, he kisses me again and again, swallowing any possible words I could even have right now. By the time he finally pauses, both of us are breathing hard. His thumb runs tenderly against the base of a horn.

  “I am yours,” he whispers. “Completely.”

  My heart hammers against my ribs at his words and then the world around me tilts as his strong arms wrap around to lift me like I weigh nothing to him. It pulls a soft gasp from my lips as my back meets the wall.

  My legs wrap around his waist and I’m completely pinned by his gaze. His lips crash back into mine causing my spell to flicker and the nebula to almost shatter over us.

  One of his hands moves to tangle in my hair while the other arm remains wrapped around me like a steel band. I can feel the strength in his frame and I can’t help but let desire flood me. I kiss him deeply as my own hands come up to grip his shoulders, nails digging into his shirt.

  Eventually, the kiss breaks and I’m left gasping for air against his mouth. The “stars” above us almost seem to match the frantic pulse of my heartbeat until… the illusion is broken. My concentration has been completely severed, but I can’t find it in me to care right now.

  Alexios’s forehead rests against my horns as his grip on my body loosens a bit to support rather than pin me back.

  “Arun,” he whispers. His voice is softer than I’ve ever heard him speak. “Let me make love to you… properly this time.”

  He shifts slightly so he can look at me properly now as his hand leaves my hair to gently stroke the curve of a horn.

  We've “fucked”, of course.

  We've “had sex”.

  We've pleasured each other from sunset to sunrise and then some.

  But this... this is something else entirely.

  We’re in the library he had built for me and his confession has pierced my heart and soul.

  This moment is everything.

  I can only stare into his blazing red eyes, overcome with the whirlwind of emotions he’s presented to me. What do I see in his eyes now?

  Devotion.

  Holy devotion.

  Every bit of it is for me.

  --

  Alexios gently places me down and my legs feel a bit unsteady as they find the floor again. He directs me towards the reading nook before easing me back as my body sinks into the soft cushions.

  "Wait here for me," he says before striding out of the library.

  My mind keeps reliving his confession and even though the stars are gone now, the library feels more magical than it did just a few moments ago.

  I shiver and draw my knees up to my chest, waiting while my heart continues to drum against my chest.

  Alexios returns shortly, holding a small glass vial. He doesn’t say anything when he approaches, but his smile tells me all I need to know and desire flows through me again.

  He places the vial on the table and kneels in front of me, keeping his eyes locked on mine as he slowly pulls at the tie of my robe.

  “Turn around for me, darling.”

  I obey, burying my face in one of the soft cushions as I wait rather impatiently, robe falling delicately from my petite body onto the cushion beside me.

  I hear a soft pop and then the slick sound of oil. A moment later, Alexios’s wet fingers are tracing the cleft of my cheeks, but there’s nothing patient about his touch now. It’s eager and fantastically messy.

  One of his slick fingers presses against my entrance, circling before finally pressing in. I gasp sharply into the pillow as my hips push back all on their own.

  As that single finger eventually becomes two, choked moans fill the air. His movements are hungry and I can feel the oil dropping down my thighs as he continues to work me open desperately.

  Every slick glide of his fingers inside me sends jolts of pleasure through my body, tearing louder gasps from my lips.

  Alexios scissors his fingers to stretch me wider and I can’t help but let my toes curl as my body twists in pleasure on the reading nook. I grind back into his touch and he answers my silent request by adding a third finger.

  The breathy whimpers and muffled cries I’m making now are probably nothing short of obscene and I suddenly remember that Je Suis is in the house somewhere. Gods, please don’t let her hear this.

  His other hand moves to rest right above the base of my tail to hold me in place as he continues to move his fingers inside, finding that sweet spot that never fails to make my eyes roll back.

  His fingers suddenly withdraw and I’m left gasping and panting for more.

  “Can you cast it again?” he asks.

  “W… what?” I choke out, my thoughts still fractured by just his fingers alone.

  “The illusion. I want to see if you can concentrate on it when I’m touching you.”

  “I…”

  I can’t even find the words in my pleasure drunken state, but I lean back on the balls of my feet and raise my hands anyway, fingers moving to shape the spell out.

  It takes more effort than I’m willing to admit, but eventually, the small beams of light leave my fingertips and the library is beaming with stars again. They aren’t as bright as they were earlier, but I can tell by Alexios’s expression that he is just as in awe as he was before.

  “Beautiful…” he gasps.

  As soon as I rest my head back on the soft cushions, Alexios’s touch returns but this time, in the form of his mouth. I let out a high-pitched cry as his slick tongue presses against my entrance. The messiness of the oil mixes with the saliva from his mouth as he devours me in a way that borders on being feral now.

  The stars flicker once and I try my hardest to stay focused on the spell, but it feels almost impossible.

  My hands fly forward into the cushions in a feeble attempt at anchoring myself to something… anything. Waves of ecstasy pulse through my body and I can’t help but arch and tremble at the feeling of his tongue.

  Alexios teases my rim before delving back inside and I swear the stars almost collapse in on us, but I focus back in at the last second, attempting to stay hyper aware of the spell, but his touch steals the breath from my lungs.

  This is how Alexios worships.

  I am completely undone by it and all I can do now is whimper his name like a broken prayer.

  To my dismay, his tongue retreats, leaving me trembling in frustration, but I suddenly feel the shift of his body as he rises, a finger tracing a slow path from the base of my tail and up my spine.

  The soft sound of him undoing his pants follows and I grin in pure anticipation as the stars of night sky illusion glares and pops around us. The blunt pressure of his length makes me gasp softly and he begins easing into me, inch by inch. I feel every ridge and vein of him when he does it like this, but this still feels different.

  It feels almost sacred.

  As he settles fully inside, he pauses briefly to let me adjust, his chest staying pressed against my back while he leaves soft kisses on my shoulder blades. His movements begin slowly and for a long while, I almost get completely lost in it, even as the stars begin to fade out again.

  The nebula above pulses in rhythm with our slick bodies moving together. The soft grunts from his chest are absolutely beautiful. But then… a hunger is awakened inside of me and I realize that the gentle thrusts are no longer enough. I’m desperate to feel the strength in his body. I want to see the power that I know damn well he possesses.

  I want him to let go.

  "Alexios," I breathe out, but his soft thrusts don’t stop. I say his name again louder this time and push back against him.

  "More," I gasp. "Please... harder."

  He stops moving and I can immediately feel the tension in his body. I’ve never asked for “more” or even hinted at it. He has always been so gentle with me at my request, but I want Alexios in his rawest and purest form.

  I twist to look over my shoulder at him, my eyes beaming with pleading.

  “Please don’t hold back,” I whisper, but Alexios still stays still. I realize he’s trying to figure out if he heard me correctly.

  He sees the desperate pleading in my eyes and a low growl leaves his lips, a clear indicator of pure possession now and I know now… he won’t hesitate again.

  Alexios pulls back almost as if he’s going to leave me empty before roughly slamming back into me with strength that rips the air from my lungs and rips a cry from my throat as he sets a brutal pace.

  His hips snap against mine with a strength that I can only explain as primal and it makes the entire reading nook shake.

  This is what I wanted.

  This is what it means to be loved completely by Alexios.

  This is love in its fiercest form.

  He is… glorious and I wouldn’t have him any other way.

  His hands grip my hips and I just know it’s hard enough that it’ll probably bruise, but I don’t give a damn. The gentle waves have turned into a storm of pleasure and through it, I’m somehow still able to keep the night sky shining overhead.

  As the intensity builds, the stars above burn even brighter, being fueled by every powerful thrust of Alexios’s body. The sounds filling the library are no longer shy little whimpers. Now the library is being filled with the sounds of our wet and slick bodies slapping against each other and my wild cries. I hear him gasping loudly and suddenly, his movements stop before slowly withdrawing and then flipping me over as one arm snakes around my hips, lifting me from the reading nook with ease.

  Alexios lowers me onto the thick rug right in front of the nook and I let the nebula’s light above me flood my face. His knees push my thighs apart, sinking into me again but at a much deeper angle. When he begins to thrust inside me again, Alexios grinds against my sensitive bundle of nerves and my head falls back in total ecstasy. He’s taking his time now to savor each of my reactions. We are at each other’s mercy now and as I lay bare on the floor of the library he had built for me, I realize I have never felt more cherished in my entire life.

  Even through closed eyes, I can feel the pulses of the stars and I realize that some are matching the pace of my gasps, but others… are matching the pace of his thrusts.

  When I open my eyes and glance at Alexios, I see the subtle movements of his hand, instantly recognizing the same movements of my own hands casting this spell. I gasp, realizing that he is also keeping this illusion up.

  In this moment…

  We are one body.

  One soul.

  One heart.

  One breath.

  And so is our magic.

  The nebula burns in a haze of sensation and each powerful movement of his hips pushes me further into pure bliss. My legs wrap around his waist to pull him in deeper while my nails dig into the rippling planes of his back, prompting a guttural groan from him.

  Just as I begin to feel the first signs of his climax wanting to pulse through him, he stops and a whimper falls from my lips.

  “No, please don’t…”

  As I try to speak more, he pulls out of me and moves down my body, leaving sloppy kisses along my chest and over my stomach before turning me back over onto my stomach. He props himself up between my legs and pushes my thighs apart with a firm grip.

  Then I feel Alexios’s lips again, replacing where his hard length was with his tongue. He licks and sucks at the essence of our combined arousal. The act is overwhelming in the best possible way.

  He has me shivering on the rug, but then the wet heat of his mouth vanishes shortly after. I push myself up to my elbows and look back at him, only to find him staring at me intensely.

  “Alexios?” I ask. “Is… is something wrong?”

  He shakes his head and reaches out to trace the underside of my tail.

  “No,” he rumbles. “I was just wondering… what you would think about being inside me instead.”

  My jaw drops. Inside… him?

  My mind goes completely blank.

  I’ve only ever…

  My nervousness at his admission must be plain as day because his eyes soften with understanding and I know he sees my uncertainty.

  “You can say no,” he whispers, voice as gentle as a feather. “It was just a thought, my love. You know there is never any pressure here. I want this to be about what you want.”

  He comes back up and kisses me deeply in an act of reassurance before peppering my forehead, eyelids and the tip of my nose with tiny kisses.

  The idea is… terrifying, but only because it’s a leap into a direction that I never even considered. I never thought a man like him would ever want that, but when I look into his patient eyes, the thought of being inside and filling him, claiming him like that… it’s intoxicating.

  I swallow hard as the stars briefly fade before flickering back to life.

  “Yes,” I breathe out. That single word somehow feels both enormous and incredibly small. A smile spreads across Alexios’s face and his unguarded expression makes my heart skip a beat. It even shows in the sky when one of the stars dims before vibrating slowly.

  “Then tell me,” he mouths. “How would you like me, my love?”

  The shyness floods me again. I’m used to receiving instructions but not… giving them. My eyes dart around the room, looking at everything besides him, but eventually I do make my way back to his waiting face.

  “On your… on your hands and knees?” I finally speak. The words feel… awkward and clumsy, but I see him bite his bottom lip before shifting to obey my “command”.

  Alexios presents himself to me on the floor and my small hands tremble as I fumble with the small vial of oil. This is so different from being on the receiving end and I realize the stars are beginning to fade as my concentration drops. Thankfully, he notices and soon enough the stars are blazing in the sky again as pinks and purples swirl around us.

  I pour some of the oil onto my fingers, but it’s too much and the excess drips all over the floor. I cringe at the mess, but Alexios doesn’t seem to mind at all.

  I reach for him as my trembling hands trace his cheeks and run a finger against his entrance. I push in slowly as my heart hammers like a drum, convinced I’m doing everything wrong.

  “I’m… I’m so sorry,” I whisper as my face burns with embarrassment.

  Alexios looks over his shoulder as a low moan escapes him.

  “Don’t you dare fucking apologize,” he growls. His eyes are pouring with desire and he pushes back against my hesitant finger in an attempt to encourage me to keep going. “This is more than okay, Arun.”

  He presses his face against the floor as a deep moan rumbles out.

  finger, a deliberate act of encouragement that makes my breath hitch.

  "This is perfect," he gasps as he rocks back again, taking my finger deeper.

  The sounds he makes washes away my embarrassment and I realize that this isn't about my skill or my technique in this moment.

  This is about us and the shared vulnerability in this intimate moment.

  I add a second finger as I gain more confidence with working him open. The way he moans and pushes back against my hand is a clear indicator for me that he’s enjoying this… and me.

  I scissor my fingers just like he does with me during these moments and he rewards me with another throaty groan. He’s just as desperate for me as I am him.

  When I feel his tight ring of muscle relax enough, I pull my fingers away and position myself behind him. I breathe hard as I take in the sight of his strong back arching achingly beautiful for me. A man like Alexios is submitting… to me.

  It’s a terrifying and beautiful thing all at the same time.

  I press the head of my length against him. I am so nervous about doing it wrong that my movements are almost painfully slow. I ease forward and a choked gasp escapes me. I’ve never felt anything like this. The intimate pressure of being inside him is too much.

  As I try to sink in inch by inch, my breath catches until I’m finally seated fully inside of him. I stay still, almost unsure of what to do next. I keep my hands on his hips as my body shakes with the overwhelming emotion of everything.

  Alexios lets out a shuddering gasp and it sounds like it’s both relief and pleasure.

  As I begin to move, my thrusts are uncertain and awkward. I pull back gently and then push in, but it’s clumsy and feels all wrong.

  “Alexios,” I whimper. “I’m not…”

  “Don’t stop,” he moans out as he pushes back against me. “Give me everything you have.”

  My movements are jerky, uncertain. I pull back slightly, then push in again, a clumsy, awkward rhythm that feels all wrong to my ears. "Alexios," I whimper, my voice thin with anxiety. "I don't... I'm not..."

  I move again and he meets them with the rock and grind of his hips to take me deeper. The sounds leaving his body are filthy. His deep moans and sharp gasps that are filling up the library are not just him humoring me. He loves this and the realization begins to fuel my confidence bit by bit.

  My high-pitched moans counter his deep groans as my hands grip his hips a bit harder, desperate to find a rhythm that’s more about pure need rather than skill. I don’t want to worry if I’m doing it “right”.

  I just want to feel.

  The sight of such a strong and powerful man like Alexios being on his hands and knees for me is too much and somehow, not enough. The heat forming in my body demands to be released.

  “Alexios,” I cry out as I drive into him. My movements grow slightly more forceful as a primal feeling overtakes me. His body arches back against me and we are both lost in each other, floating in a sea of pleasure and bright stars shuddering with our gasping breaths and thrusts,

  I feel… so powerful.

  So alive.

  And Alexios is loving every second of it.

  His hips begin to move in slow circling grinds and it sends jolts of electricity through me and up into the “night sky”.

  “Fuck,” he groans. “Fucking breed me, Arun.”

  I gasp sharply, my rhythm and the stars above falter for a moment as my mind processes the raunchy comment.

  He wildly meets my thrusts again as he throws his head back, a loud moan ripping from his mouth.

  “Do it,” he pants. “Get me pregnant. Fill me up. I want a baby inside me… now.”

  The words are so… filthy, but oh so Alexios and it’s enough to push me over the edge.

  I cry out his name as I spill myself inside him, feeling as the nebula explodes in a bright bloom of pinks, blues, purples and greens before collapsing into nothingness. The orgasm is so intense like this that it practically whites out vision. I collapse against his back, gasping for breath as my slick body trembles with the aftershocks.

  I press my cheek against his shoulder blades, feeling the frantic beating of his heart. We are both panting now and I can feel the warm reminder of my release. I try to gently pull away, but my entire body feels like jelly.

  With the illusion of the night sky gone, we’re left in total darkness. Alexios reacts instantly and casts a handful of luminous orbs around the library.

  Eventually, I gain the strength to withdraw from him and a warm trickle of my release follows. I watch as it falls from him and lands on the dark wooden floor between his legs.

  "Let me..." I whisper as I push myself up onto unsteady arms. "Let me clean that up."

  I look around the room in hopes of finding something to wipe up the spill.

  “Wait,” Alexios breathes.

  In one fluid motion, Alexios turns and shifts from his hands and knees to lie on his stomach. He props himself up on his elbow and then to my shock, he lowers his head to the floor. With a slow lick, he laps up the droplets from the floor.

  He looks up at me while he does it too, a wicked smile finding his face as he savors the taste of me.

  The sight steals the breath from my lungs and my jaw drops. I’ve always known that Alexios was a creature of pure lust, but this is… raw and depraved.

  It’s unreasonably beautiful.

  He falls back down onto his back and I push myself up onto my elbows, my grin wide and playful as I look over at him.

  I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up from inside.

  “Breed me,” I choke out between my laughing fits. “Get me pregnant, Arun.”

  It’s my turn to see a pink blush dance across his high cheekbones.

  “Did you like that, my love?” he says, grinning back over at me.

  I trace a circle on his chest with my fingertip as more laughs threaten to escape my lips again. Alexios lets out a low chuckle as he catches my hand and brings it to his lips to press a soft kiss to the back of it.

  I move closer and capture his lips in a kiss that’s meant to be a promise of even more beautifully romantic and raunchy nights.

  As I shift closer, my thigh brushes against his and I can still feel his hardness. A sudden pang of guilt hits.

  "Alexios," I whisper. "You... you didn't... I'm so sorry. I was so caught up in the moment..."

  I’m so embarrassed that I can’t even find the words anymore.

  How could I have been so selfish?

  He lets out a soft scoff and rolls to pin me gently beneath him.

  “I don’t fucking care,” he exclaims. There’s no room for argument in his words. “That moment wasn’t about me. It was about you and giving you what you wanted… and what you needed. Watching you lose yourself like that? That was more satisfying than any orgasm I’ve ever had.”

  Alexios leans down and presses his lips to mine, a silent way of telling me to accept his pleasure as my own and I know he means it. My pleasure… is truly his pleasure. I think maybe it always has been. I feel more loved than I have ever felt in my entire life.

  He pulls away and rolls slightly to the side but keeps me close to him by throwing his leg over mine and because he's simply Alexios, he buries his head into my armpit, a place I've come to realize is one of his favorite spots on my body. His lips press once against the warm skin of my underarm.

  Then again.

  And again before I hear him inhale deeply.

  When I look over at him, I see a look that's both endearing and smug.

  “I think I should let you fuck me more often,” he whispers and a fresh blush floods my cheeks. “I very much love the way you sound when you lose control inside me.”

  He seems to enjoy my reaction as his smile widens while he wraps a strand of my hair around his finger.

  --

  Gods, the way he’s looking at me right now…

  I could tell him to do anything I wanted or ask for whatever and he’d follow without question, wouldn’t he?

  “What’s going on in that head of yours?” I ask.

  He smiles softly, hands still moving lazily through my sweat-soaked hair.

  “I need you to know… it’s not the manor or even the town that feels like home to me anymore. It’s you. You are my home, Arun. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to admit how much I love you.”

  I can’t look away from him.

  “Alexios… it’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “You were scared. The world has been cruel to you…”

  He shakes his head in frustration as tears slowly begin to flood his eyes.

  “The world has been entirely too cruel to you too, but you still told me anyway. I am just a coward.”

  “Stop it,” I say bluntly. “I love you… and you love me. That’s all that matters, okay?”

  He wipes the tears away slowly and looks up at the ceiling.

  “I mean it,” he says after a while. “You’re my home.”

  “Then I’m not going anywhere.”

  He smiles at my answer as his thumb brushes against my cheekbone.

  He sits up first and pulls me up with him, steadying me as if my legs might give out. I can feel that my hair is in absolute disarray, but the way he’s looking at me right now makes me believe I’ve probably never looked more beautiful in his eyes.

  We take our time redressing and smoothing the wrinkles out from each other’s clothes. I adjust his collar and that same “I’ll follow you anywhere” look of devotion is still in his eyes.

  Alexios pulls me over toward one of the armchairs near the curtain drawn windows. He sits and pulls me into his lap like this is the most natural thing in the world to us. It sure feels that way.

  “I think the gods made me just for you, Arun.”

  I gasp quietly at another confession that almost pulls me to tears. My head rests against his shoulder while his fingers play with mine.

  When he finally presses a kiss to my temple, I realize that he is my home too and that maybe we’ve both been living in each other for far longer than either of us even knew.