It took a moment for Mikiva to decide how to explain the next part. She wasn’t sure how to make it make sense to anyone else. Sometimes, it didn’t even make sense to her. Still, she had come this far, she needed to finish the story. And it helped that Av’ry was a surprisingly good listener. Gathering her nerve, she pressed on.

  “I had planned to seek out the two men that H’arlic named immediately, but things got… difficult for a time. The assassination had had an unexpectedly pronounced effect. The power vacuum left by H’arlic’s death turned the city into a powder keg, as his four sons fought each other for control of his extensive empire. People were killing each other in the streets to prove their allegiance to their chosen patron. The number of casualties was appalling. It wasn’t exactly what I’d had in mind; though, I probably wouldn’t have changed my course of action even if I’d known. Not back then.”

  “Who would have thought all that could come from the death of one evil man?”

  “Demons feed on even the best of intentions, right?” she shrugged. “Either way, things were chaotic for quite some time after that. No one knew, of course, that I was the one responsible for it, and I wasn’t planning on enlightening them. Especially once I learned how angry the Master was that H’arlic had been killed. Unsurprisingly, the king of the underworld was also a great patron of assassins, and the guild’s bottom line had taken a serious hit in the days since he'd died. The guild would negotiate rates with his sons, in time, but until they were established, they couldn’t afford near what H’arlic had paid, and any jobs done for them would be more dangerous, on top of it. And it soon became apparent that ours weren’t the only pockets feeling a little lighter since H’arlic’s more than timely demise.

  While I was laying low in the guild hall, waiting for everything to blow over, two men came in to speak to the Master. I didn’t recognize them, but some of the older members told me that they were actually Scorpions, though they seldom came to the guild because many years ago they had been contracted out to H’arlic Jellaver as his personal assassins. They had been charged with defending him and taking care of any little jobs he wanted done. Now that he was dead, they were coming back to the fold.”

  “I think I see where this is going,” Av’ry observed softly.

  “I wish I had,” Mikiva replied, sourly. “Really, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course his hired killers had been Scorpions. It was our job, after all. Why wouldn’t they be? But honestly, the thought had never even occurred to me. I thought I knew every guildmember, thought I would surely have met them, if that were the case. But I was wrong, and now the men who had tortured and killed my father were standing right in front of me. And they were members of my own guild.”

  “How did you feel about that?”

  “Honestly? I was elated. It saved me the trouble of having to find them. And gave me an easy way to get my revenge. Following guild tradition, I just publicly challenged them both to a fight to the death. They hesitated, so I offered to take them both on at once.”

  “Two on one, eh?” Av’ry whistled. “Must’ve been a tough fight.”

  Mikiva snorted,

  “Not really. I was good, and I knew it. Actually no, I am good now. Back then, I was exceptional. I was ruthless, unflinching. They were little more than street thugs, no technique, no skill, soft from years of easy jobs. I even dragged the fight out, toying with them, humiliating them in front of the others that had gathered to watch. And I enjoyed it,” Mikiva dropped her eyes, ashamed. “Once it became obvious that they were not going to win, the pathetic cowards both tried to run. I put a knife in the back of the man farthest from me and then I went to deal with his friend. As I tightened the garrotte around his throat, he asked me why I was doing this. I loosened it just long enough to tell him. When I finished, he turned slightly to look back at me, I still remember how confused he looked. Not angry, not even trying to bargain for his life, just… confused. I still remember his exact words, he said ‘I don’t understand, it was just a job. Haven’t you done the same?’ I insisted that I was nothing like him, and then I finished choking the life out of him.

  I didn’t hear him, not then. You see, maintaining passion is hard, exhausting. The natural state of humanity is something akin to apathy. Passion flares, time to time, but it always fades back to neutral. To hold on to the desire for revenge takes effort. You have to feed it, keep it alive. I was filled with the need for vengeance and there was no room for anything else, not even to consider what he was suggesting. As I walked away from their lifeless bodies, I had never felt so free. That moment was the completion of my life’s work, and it felt incredible, for a time. But it didn’t last. When the elation faded, only emptiness remained. And it was that emptiness that left room for doubt to finally get in. What really was the difference between them and me? Eventually, I realized that there wasn’t one. I had killed whoever I had been told to kill, never asking why. Those people had been somebody’s child, somebody’s father or mother. To their loved ones, I was the killer from their nightmares. Perhaps some had even vowed their revenge upon me. If so, I deserved it. I had spent my life willingly, eagerly becoming everything I had hated. And once I saw it, there was no stepping back. How do you live with that?”

  Mikiva had to stop and gather herself, but eventually she continued,

  “Realizing what I had become was not easy for me. I doubt it would be for anyone. I used to have these dreams where I would cut a man’s throat only to look up, my hands still dripping with his blood, to see myself as a child staring up at me. I would look down and the man would be my own father, and with his dying breath, he would simply ask me why,” Mikiva took a shuddering breath. “That was when I quit the guild. I obviously couldn’t go back. But I couldn’t really go forward, either. I had no goal now, no real desire. What skills did I have, beyond murder? I was lost for a long time. And that was when K’ivin found me. He seemed to know everything, somehow. He knew I needed a path forward. He offered me a chance for redemption, to try and help my country and its people, instead \. And so, here I am,” Mikiva shrugged, her shoulders and head slumped as if all the energy had been drained from her.

  “And did it work?” Av’ry asked gently.

  “What?”

  “Did you find redemption? Peace?”

  “Nope,” Mikiva laughed bitterly. “I still hate myself today as much as that first day when I really saw who I was. I am just more accustomed to dealing with it, now. Sometimes I don’t think I’ve changed at all. I am still a killer, even though I try not to be. The worst part is, I still enjoy it,” anger and pain clouded her features. “When I put that knife in M’arec today, I felt the same rush I did back then, that same thrill, like nothing had changed. It makes me think, maybe I was an assassin for too long, maybe it is too much a part of who I am, a part of my nature. Maybe people just can’t ever change, and I am only fooling myself by trying,” she dropped her face into her hands.

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  Av’ry felt her pain, then. Grief, normally so carefully controlled in people like her, rolled over him like a wave. He rose and knelt next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

  “I promise you that people can change,” he said. “I did. All people really need is a push in the right direction, someone to inspire them to be better than they think they are. I think your father was that person for you, and that you changed long ago, whether you know it or not.”

  She looked down at him, her eyes almost pleading, she wanted to believe him but was afraid to allow herself to do so.

  “How do you explain it then? Why do I still enjoy killing so much?”

  “No mystery there,” Av’ry laughed gently. “It isn’t the killing you enjoy. You trained for years to be an assassin; you carefully honed your skills and took pride in being exceptional at your craft. You get a rush from your hard work paying off. It is a very human impulse, trust me. Besides, it’s not like it is all bad, is it? If not for you, we probably would have died today. I’d feel pretty good about myself, too.”

  “That doesn’t change what I am.”

  “Of course it does,” Av’ry replied sincerely. “Look, I may not have known you very long, but it is obvious to me that you aren’t a cold-blooded killer. You wouldn’t have killed M’arec if he had left you a choice in the matter. I saw what happened, he forced your hand. Don’t blame yourself for that. In fact, I should thank you for saving my life.”

  Mikiva pushed him away,

  “Void, why are you being so nice to me? Why do you even care?”

  Av’ry gave her a puzzled look,

  “Why wouldn’t I? We’re partners, aren’t we?”

  “We are?”

  “Of course. We have the same goal, we are in this together, that makes us partners.”

  “You’d still say that, even though I’ve been treating you like shit this whole time?”

  Av’ry shrugged,

  “You aren’t the first, you won’t be the last. Some of my best friends have treated me like shit, at one time or another. You had my back today when it counted, that’s what matters. You don’t have to like me. My ego will survive, I promise.”

  Mikiva hesitated.

  “I don’t dislike you,” she sounded frustrated. Scowling, she reached for the right words. “Not now, anyway. I mean I did, at first, but we kind of got off on the wrong foot, didn’t we? And I can’t say I am happy about the situation we are in, but that isn’t your fault. I know I’ve been taking my frustrations out on you, though. I shouldn’t have. But I thought I knew your type and I thought you deserved it.”

  “My type?” he raised an eyebrow.

  “Surely you realize that you have a reputation. You know, the charming confidence man? The one willing and able to exploit anyone, especially women? It just seemed safer to keep some distance. I didn’t trust that you were really being friendly, instead of…”

  “Manipulative,” he smiled ruefully.

  “Well, I…”

  “Don’t worry, I don’t hold it against you. I earned that reputation, and its consequences. I was the man you are thinking of, when I was younger. And there may be some… leftover habits. But it’s like I said, people really can change.”

  “You know what’s strange? I think I actually believe you.”

  “You do?”

  “I didn’t at first, like I said. But you’ve sacrificed a lot, even when there was nothing in it for you. You’ve saved my life, more than once,” she placed a hand gently on his waist where the arrow had been. “And you were kind tonight, to Jade, and to me. Even if I didn’t deserve it. I may be pathologically suspicious and more than a little stubborn, but even I can admit when I have misjudged someone. I’m sorry.”

  “The apology isn’t needed, but it is accepted. So, shall we call it a truce, then?” he offered his hand.

  Mikiva smiled, taking his hand and helped him up to sit next to her.

  “I’d like that,” then she hesitated, rubbing the back of her neck. “Although, what I just told you… can you maybe…”

  “Keep it to myself?” he finished.

  “It’s not something I usually talk about. I’d rather it stay that way.” Mikiva admitted.

  “Of course. I promise I will never tell a soul…” he mimed crossing his heart and turned to her with a cheeky smile, “that you don’t hate me.”

  Mikiva scowled and elbowed him in the stomach,

  “That is not what I meant, and you know it.”

  He raised his hands in mock surrender,

  “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he laughed for a moment before turning serious. “I will never breathe a word to anyone. I promise.”

  “Thank you,” she turned and smiled. “For that, and for watching my back today.”

  “I think under the circumstances, we are even. And what’s another scar, more or less?”

  “You do seem to have quite a collection, don’t you? Bet you have a few stories of your own.”

  “Oh, that’s right, I forgot,” he grinned impishly. “You got a good look at those earlier, didn’t you?”

  “Well, I haven’t seen the new one yet,” she motioned for him to show her.

  “Alright,” he lifted his shirt a bit, to display the new scar.

  “What, are you bashful all of a sudden?”

  With a bemused smirk, he stripped the shirt off and spread his arms to display his torso,

  “There. Happy now?”

  “Getting there,” she touched the new scar gently with a single finger. “Healer did good work; I was expecting it to be bigger.”

  “Funny, I don’t get that one much.”

  Mikiva rolled her eyes and let her finger trace along his abdomen to the next scar, a long raking one across his stomach,

  “What’s the story behind that one?”

  “Sword wound. I was ‘distracting’ a kidnapper at the time. He wasn’t happy about it.”

  “Hope it was worth it.”

  “He had a 9-year-old girl. We got her out alive. So yeah, it was.”

  Mikiva let her hands drift higher to a gouge just under his rib cage,

  “And this?”

  “Got knocked off a cliff, tree broke my fall. And 4 ribs.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Could have been worse,” he shrugged.

  “And the bite mark?” she moved her hand to his shoulder.

  “Ex-girlfriend,” he grinned.

  She laughed and her fingers began to move across his chest toward the two arrow punctures near his heart. She felt him tense, and he grabbed her hand before she could reach them.

  “If you are going to ask about every scar, we will be here all night,” he protested.

  “Maybe I wouldn’t mind being here all night.”

  “Oh, really?” a little smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he realized what she was implying. “Is that… a good idea?”

  “It’s a terrible idea,” Mikiva bit her lip. “No pressure, if you aren’t interested.”

  “It’s, uh, definitely not that. It’s just, a bit sudden.”

  “Look, this doesn’t have to be complicated. I just thought it might be fun. Relieve a little stress. Besides, it’s clearly the responsible thing to do.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, now that we are thinking about it, it will only be a distraction, until we’ve gotten it out of our systems, right? But if you’d rather I go…”

  “I never said that.”

  “Good,” she drew him closer, mouth seeking his.

  Av’ry knit his fingers into her hair as he leaned down and kissed her. Mikiva shoved him back onto the bed. He paused as she straddled his waist,

  “Are you sure that you…”

  Mikiva undid a knot, and her lace-up leather top slid to the floor.

  “I’m sorry, were you saying something?” she asked.

  Av’ry blinked,

  “Nothing I can think of at the moment.”

  He pulled her down on top of him, kissing her neck, hands sliding up from her waist along her body. Strangely, Av’ry didn’t feel much like talking anymore.