The heinous and sickening presence of mind that pervades me makes me feel like a bloating wart. And ugly, black, sickly, ghastly, wart. The type of wart that grows and grows and grows and never stops. It just envelopes your nose, encompasses it, until it eventually pops, into a grotesquely horrific injury of blood. I hate such a thing. I am such a thing. I am gross, disgusting, horrific and intangible in my physical horror. My sickness knows no bounds. It is all metaphysical, centered in the heart of the soul, the controller of the body- the brain; and yet, it feels as if it has overwhelmed me, and taken over my body as well. It has rubbed my stomach with the stomach of the king of hell, and I can feel his belly rumbling; it is hungry, searching for blood. Why do I stand so close to non-redemption, why do I fly towards the melting sun?

  I feel this presence of mind: it is called a corranitoey, a hydroelectric enterprise of eccentric evil, a god of the dead. It holds me hostage, day in, day out.

  It speaks at times, times when the light is out and the night is deep and the shadows are long; it speaks of the meaning of evil, of the centrifugal power behind the holiest of all. I hear its teachings, its praise and its woes. It cries out at times and attempts to escape! It grabs my skull and tries to rip me, to shred me, to- oh, but the vainest of words that escape its tongue cannot move me, and the most righteous of cries of ridiculous and absurd, unruly and repetitive, oh so repetitive… and repulsive, oh true!

  I know that it is slowly crushing and breaking my brain, burning my thoughts, ripping my consciousness into smaller and smaller pieces. That is why I am thinking these things now, that is why I am crazy.

  And the fools… those foolish fools in the white coats, they dragged me from my home in south London, and threw me here! They cut away all contact and information, stagnated my very being, salted my soul! And now, now… I stand here upon this empty spot.

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  Since, you see, here, here where I stand, I am alone. Alone with my thoughts and my venoms, my sickness of mind. The terrible, horrible corranitoey!

  Yes, yes that! That thing! It is true, it has ruined my life! My wife, sweet and loving Georgia! My son, cold yet not heartless, Graham! And my daughter, Lily, just now born! Oh why did they rip them away from me, oh why?

  I have lived with my family for many years, nearly half of my life! I have given them love and goodwill, and that through hardship and pain, work- yes great labor! All of the toil, was it all for today?! The day that I stand here, alone, in this dark wretched spot?! My family gone, my life not worth living, and my brain so cursed I may be a worm?! Do they not feel pity for my dark and dreadful piety towards my freedom of self? Why does the sickness cry out in the night, I ask now why?!

  Why does it- why, oh, why does- w-w-w-why, y-yes-why… I… I must be dying. I must be burning and choking and melting and bleeding. I must be close to dead. Is that why I see her beautiful face? The face there, there… Marcela, my beauty, my love. Marcela, Marcela, oh, how I want you, I need you, I yearn for the warmth of your hands.

  Viviane, please Viviane, I see your face over there, as if on the other side of a frosted window, Viviane. Why don’t you come near? Why don't you see my face?

  Cura, Cura, I hope you hear me well. I hope you hear my voice in the dark. Cura, Cura.

  Cura? Who is that? Who is Marcela, and who is Viviane? I only have Georgia within my heart. Why did I think of these faces? Why did they cry and cry, black tears of blood? Is it not they who are intruding upon my consciousness, attempting to take the place of my lovely wife?

  Those fools, those dogs. They are part of the corranitoey, I know it now, I know it to be true.

  It tried to trick me, but no, I am no meek weak and sullen fool. I do not stand below the highest shelf waiting for it to fall. I am free, I am right!

  I will rip this wretched cancer from my brain, and crush it beneath my toes! I burn it, and then beat it black and blue! Then I will eat it, yes eat it, and feed it to my family after I return to them by escaping this horrid establishment of evil.

  Yes, yes…

  Yes…

  Yes…

  Ye-…..

  Ah….

  Ah.

  Ah.

  Ah.