Live Journal Entry: 02.20.2174 | Pursuit Bank, New York

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  Pursuit Bank Employee | Unnervingly Cheery

  Hello, sir! What can Pursuit Bank do for you today?

  Xander Irons

  Oh, today is something quite special, for there is a lot Pursuit will be doing not simply for me, Alexander Irons, but for humanity at large. You see, I have plans - monumental plans, one might say. The real question is, do you have what it takes to meet my company’s needs? To take a bold new step toward the future of mankind, miss...Carol?

  Carol

  Hm?

  Xander Irons

  What?

  Carol

  Was that a question, sir?

  Xander Irons

  About your ability to meet my needs, or the future of mankind?

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  Carol?

  My name, sir.

  Xander Irons

  No. Of course not, Cher…yl?

  Carol/Cheryl

  …

  Xander Irons

  …

  Carol/Cheryl

  Well, then what can Pursuit-

  Xander Irons

  Right! Back to it! You see, Carrot, the crucial next step in realizing the ultimate mission of my company, Irons Unlimited, requires funding from your fine establishment.

  Carol/Cheryl/Carrot

  Unfortunately, the loans we offer don’t include funding for “monumental” ventures or “ultimate” missions at this time. We’re a fairly small branch.

  Xander Irons

  What? I-I just...right. I require a small business loan.

  Carol/Cheryl/Carrot

  Wonderful! What is the purpose of your loan?

  Xander Irons

  Do you remember that ancient social media platform, Zuckface?

  Carol/Cheryl/Carrot

  Sir, did you mean to say Face-

  Xander Irons

  WELL guess who bought the rights to their platform and data, but couldn’t quite afford the trademark!

  Carol/Cheryl/Carrot

  Was it y-

  Xander Irons

  Me. It was me. I bought them.

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