Their ultimate destination was another few days of travel away, a sphere known as Cheese Eye. Surrounding the gate and reaching high into the sky was a wall of rock, and it was difficult to tell visually whether they formed a complete hemisphere. It was the clearest look they had gotten of the shape of the sphere walls, however, and Zia thought to herself, so that’s why they call them spheres. And this one is… Zia consulted the scroll they’d been given, called Swiss Stone. I wonder why. As they strode through the gate, the footing abruptly transitioned from solid earth to wooden platforms. The platform extended through the gate, then went sharply to the right, following the curve of the wall. Poles supported some of them, reaching tenuously over to curiously weathered outcroppings of rock, while others were supported by chains or ropes anchored to the walls of the sphere. Peering into the depths below—a substantial fall, were one to take it—Zia thought, Oh. That’s why. There are holes in the stone like bubbles in cheese. Far below, the countless fires of a city were visible, but more than that was lost to darkness. The platforms swayed in a manner both nerve-wracking and nauseating as they descended, but they made it as far as the city below without any of them collapsing. The city was also constructed out of wood, from city wall to the countless sprawling shacks surrounding it. You would think, somewhere with such plentiful rock would build with it. Perhaps it is especially fine rock, because I’d swear I see an elevator and a trail to it. Zia shrugged. She liked marble, and gemstones, and didn’t know more than that.
They joined the line of workers and merchants waiting to get into the city. At the gate, a guard in leather—you’d think they’d favor metal with such a readily mined area—asked, “Work permit?”
“We’re not workers. We’re, ah, here to visit someone.”
“Visitors to Leavings are not permitted more than five pounds of exogenous metal. You’ll need to subject your bags to search. Join queue three, the red door on the left.” Just like that, they were dismissed. Zia felt a small burst of pique at being dismissed so summarily, but after a few moments decided it wasn’t worth asserting her consequence. It’s humbling, even more than my family losing their influence, to be somewhere my ouroboros mark doesn’t matter. I’m not sure I like it. Zia chuckled, getting a curious look from Darka. No, I’m quite positive I don’t like it, but there’s nothing I can do about it other than what I am doing. Finding the heir, that Dragold might once more send forth missionaries and armies to spread the Good Word. Except is the Word of Izkarzon even… sigh. I’ve been down this road. Several times. I’m going to walk forward in faith that whatever will be will be and it will work out for the One God’s glory and my good. As they filed through the red door—or is it door three? The door to the left? Why have three designations for one door?—and submitted their bags to search, Zia felt relief that at the very least they were not being subjected to a toll. I suspect Darka has more in the way of tips than I started with, in terms of silver. Not that I can ask, and not as though I would ask for financial help from a wane. Even bankers are at least hungers.
Drexl came up beside Zia and murmured wryly, “Am I finding this Analytical Prowess?”
“You’ve been ever so effective at finding people thus far, I see no reason to discontinue the trend.”
“Why not pick up the skill? Knowing who to know is an ouroboros thing more than a common bread thing anyway.” You’re no common bread. And after this adventure, you’ll be ouroboros for sure! Should I say that? I think I will. Zia did, and Drexl replied with, “I thought there was no superiority to being an ouroboros, just a difference of aptitude. Or something like that.” Her tone was arch, and she had clearly practiced Zidrist’s disapprovingly raised eyebrow.
“I meant it as a compliment. But forget it, clearly it wasn’t taken as such.”
“It’s a compliment that I was assigned to bread when I was born, but I’m not really bread, I deserve to be ouroboros? What does it mean then, that all the people before now have seen and treated me as bread?”
“It means they were lacking in discernment. I mean, did I treat you as bread?”
“You did. At least at first.”
“Oh. Sarx.”
“Yeah.”
Zidrist chose that point to interrupt. “Hey, depression party of two, can we focus on finding this thief lord and moving on to the legitimate business of engaging with Historians?”
Drexl shrugged assent. “What’s a Historian, anyway?” I’m glad she asked so I didn’t have to.
“Without the initial capital, a person who studies the past. With it, I have no idea, but it doesn’t have ‘thief’ in the title so I’m encouraged.”
“‘Royal Society’ doesn’t have ‘thief’ in the title either,” Zia protested, feeling irritable at having insulted her own discernment and Zidrist giving her no time to recover her composure.
“And yet every Royal Society member has been a criminal. Your hired muscle has made all the introductions, and I think we’ve stolen something for every contact we’ve made.”
Zia shook her head. “We are pursuing a noble goal. Despite being unsuited to it based on caste, we have succeeded by the divine provenance of Izkarzon. He will have us find His heir and restore the fortunes of Dragold.”
“And us. Don’t forget about the fortunes of us,” Darka smirked.
Zia ducked her head abashedly. “Yes. That too. So what do you say, Drexl? Are you going to find us Analytical Prowess?”
“If it doesn’t offend you for mere bread to do something you can’t.”
“It does not. And you’re not ‘mere bread’.”
“Gracious of you. You sure you can’t manage this, Zia? You’ve seen my methods.” I can’t tell if she’s feeling lazy or trying to encourage me to be more useful—you know, that’s actually not a half-bad idea. Darka has coin now, Drexl is competent muscle, I’d be stepping into leaderly shoes if I were the one to find our contacts. It’s a good role.
“I’ll give it my best shot. Now then, let’s see. First, we find the wealthiest district, which will also be the tallest…” It took some trial and error, but Zia found a more run-down part of town, and from there led them into the first bar to have a sturdy-looking bouncer. “Darka, you have coin from your ‘busking,’ can I use some of it?”
“I thought your ‘thing’ was being financier of this mission?”
“My ‘thing’ is being the leadership and now the one to make introductions. The barkeep will be better-disposed towards us if I tip heavily on a few mugs of blittero.” Darka rolled her eyes but deposited a few silver coins into her hand. “Zidrist. Do I order four, or do I need five to honor the rag doll?” After Zidrist answered, Zia strode up to the bar and spread the coins across the bar top. “Five mugs of blittero, matey, and if you wouldn’t mind helping me find an associate of mine?”
The barkeep, an unamused-looking black man, raised an eyebrow and left off “cleaning” mugs with a stained rag, tapped one of the casks behind him and filled the mugs. The last was a quarter the size of the others, and when Zia asked about it, he replied, “No sense wasting good blittero on a mannequin or whatever you four have as a totem.” Zia repeated her question. He looked levelly at her. “I make a professional habit of not knowing anyone, so long as their tab’s paid on time” he replied, sweeping her coins off the table and into a pocket of his apron. “Here’s your blittero.”
Zia placed a hand on his forearm before he withdrew behind his bar counter. “What if I were asking where to find someone, unprofessionally?” She gave her most winning smile, slightly lopsided. But the barkeep shook his head. Why not?! It always… sigh. I’m getting really tired of adventures not being like the Daring Kaliskast. It’s surprising me less and less though. She hefted the tray of drinks and set it down with a clatter and no small amount of slopping at the table the Heirrors had secured. “We’ve got the right place, but the barkeep has scruples. Professionally and unprofessionally never knows anyone. Now what?” She aimed her question at Drexl, the only one who appeared to be enjoying her drink.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
She’s definitely been practicing Zidrist’s expressions, Zia thought as Drexl arched an eyebrow. “Now, we start a bar fight.”
“Being gnomic is Zidrist’s job, as is looking that disdainful. Explain.”
“Well, I stand up from my chair, like so,” Drexl stood swiftly, and her chair clattered against that of the man at the table behind her, causing him to choke on his drink and spill down his front. He cursed, more strongly than even Zia generally did, and wheeled on Drexl. Still speaking blandly, she went on. “And now he tries to punch me, and I duck, and shove him from a crouch into that table,” the man, overbalanced from a low center of gravity, went right over and nearly overturned the table he landed on. From there, things spiraled merrily out of control, fists and tankards flying. Zia cowered under her table, not wanting to get involved in the bar fight without fire. And fire would be a really bad idea in a big wooden city. Drexl appeared with a woman in tow, gripped by the neck of her shirt, and cocked her head towards the door. Silently, skirting around the worst of the fighting, the Heirrors and Drexl’s mysterious captive made for the door. “And this, then, would be the best person to ask about our contact. Stoolies are never brave.”
“I ain’t no stoolie, I’m just a coward!”
“But are you greedy?”
“Depends on the color of your silver.”
Drexl looked over. “Zia, or I guess Darka? Show this fine lady what we share with our friends.” Darka opened her coin purse—yep, definitely more money than I have—long enough for the woman to get one avarice-inspiring glance.
She swallowed. “Who’re you looking for? And why? Sardine doesn’t sell out just anybody for any reason.”
Zia saw her opportunity and took it. “We’re looking for Analytical Prowess, because we have a letter of introduction that we might exchange favors. The kind of thing she’d appreciate us being able to bring to her table.”
Sardine swallowed visibly, and then her eyes widened. “Oh. Oh. You’re the…” she lowered her voice. “Heirrors, aren’t you?” See, that’s the kind of coincidence that I’d expect from an adventure. Things would just work out. Except nobody should know, unless Born did send word ahead to revoke our letter of recommendation, which Krask seemed confident he wouldn’t.
“So word of our awesomeness has preceded us?”
Sardine shook her head, then nodded, then tilted her head thoughtfully and finally said, “Can you ask that a different way? I can’t tell what answer you want.”
Drexl gave Sardine a good shake. “What we want is for you to take us to Analytical Prowess.”
“Got it! Read you loud and clear! But give poor Sardine a little silver before she takes you, to thank her for the introductions?” Drexl sighed and put out a hand, which in turn had Darka sighing and depositing two silver coins into her palm. Sardine looked a little disappointed, but when released dusted herself off and told them to follow her.
Analytical Prowess evidently resided outside the city, in one of the exhausted mines. There was nothing about her residence except expensive, efficient military effectiveness, from the outside. From behind arrow slits crossbows poked, ready to let loose in enfilade, and the first gate was open to reveal a second set into the stone. I have no doubt that any eyes overlapping her defensive position have been filled with bricks or rubble. Inside the first gate were murder holes in the ceiling, spears at the ready from above. The far gate swung neither out nor in nor in any way Zia could see even would open. There was no handle. From above, a calm voice inquired, “And what brings you to the domicile of Lord Prowess?” We are definitely in over our heads. They’re not even trying to intimidate us, they’re just sitting from their position of power and asking conversationally what we want. None of this “And you suppose there might be a Lady Amorous?” bluster either.
Zia stepped forward, and it was a testament to the discipline of Lord Prowess’ troops that not a single spear tip so much as twitched. “We are the Heirrors. We have reason to believe that her… his?” Sarx. I fumbled that. “That Lord Prowess is expecting us.”
There was not even whispering from above, only the same calm voice speaking clearly. “Lord Prowess has heard of your group. You are not a subtle tool. If you wish to have her stake her reputation behind putting you in touch with an organization which honors subtlety as the Royal Society honors skill, you must first demonstrate the latter. In Purple, the vacation estate of the White Queen, there is a courtier by the name of Defiant Mien. He has been curtailing Lord Prowess’ activities and she would see an end put to him as an object lesson of the cost of hindering he—”
“Now hold on right there!” Zia protested. “We have a letter of introduction from Dear Born, we have done the favor necessary to win an introduction. We have done favors all along the western reaches of Fief, and we are here for an audience! She knows where Izkarzon’s heir is and we need to find her!”
“Lord Prowess knows of your letter.”
“Listen here, you jumped up lackey, I will burn Lord Prowess’ little fort to the ground if you don’t grant us—urk!” Zia was abruptly hauled backwards as spears plunged into the exact spot her head and torso had occupied. Drexl was swearing, Zidrist and Darka looked a little pale, and Zia began to shake as she realized how close she had come to death, had Drexl not heaved her bodily out of harm’s way.
Drexl murmured in Zia’s ear, “I think we have two options. Go home, or go kill Defiant Mien.”
“We could always trade not killing Mien for whatever connections he has.”
“And if he doesn’t have the connections we need?”
Zia gulped, very uneasy with what she was about to say but at a loss for what else to say. “Then I suppose we kill him and bring his head back with us.” Raising her voice, she called to the soldiers—their efficiency made thinking of them as thugs difficult—“Alright! We’ll be back, with Mien’s head!”
There was no acknowledgement she had spoken before they turned and left.
There’s Only One Lifetime
He will live with us, until we do him in!
He will forgive us, forgive all of our sin!
He wills it, despite everything we’ll ever do wrong.
He will die on our behalf, because He loves us.
He is the Savior, Orth only gets one!
As the prayers raise up, we raise our voice in praise!
As the prayers raise up, we live in Lordly ways!
The One God will return, when the world’s time is done.
There’s only one lifetime, the lifetime of the Lord!
He will be brought low by those in power!
He will forgive even those who condemn Him!
He wills everything, for He is the One God!
He will always love us, as God and Son!
He is the Savior, why do we even get one?
As the prayers raise up, we raise our voice in praise!
As the prayers raise up, we live in Lordly ways!
The One God will return, when the world’s time is done.
There’s only one lifetime, the lifetime of the Lord!
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
The Savior is the One God, He is also the Spirit.
The Savior had to die, to let Orth receive the Spirit.
Worship the One God, receive the Spirit,
We receive Him because the Savior died for us.
The Savior is the One God, He is also the Spirit.
As the prayers raise up, we raise our voice in praise!
As the prayers raise up, we live in Lordly ways!
The One God will return, only He knows when.
The end times will come, and sinners will repent of sin!
As the prayers raise up, we raise our voice in praise!
As the prayers raise up, we live in Lordly ways!
The One God will return, when the world’s time is done.
There’s only one lifetime, the lifetime of the Lord!
He will return some day and judge those in power!
He will forgive those who have chosen Hell!
He wills we do right, and not do wrong!
He is the Savior, the God of which there’s One! (My God what have I done?)
As the prayers raise up, we raise our voice in praise!
As the prayers raise up, we live in Lordly ways!
The One God will return, only He knows when.
The end times will come, and sinners will repent of sin!
As the prayers raise up, we raise our voice in praise!
As the prayers raise up, we live in Lordly ways!
The One God will return, when the world’s time is done.
There’s only one lifetime, the lifetime of the Lord!
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
He doesn’t chase after us, He waits patiently for us.
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
The Savior He came for us, the Savior He came for us.
The Savior He came for us, then sent the Spirit
The Spirit will guide us.
As the prayers raise up!
As the prayers raise up!
There’s only one lifetime, we raise our voice in praise!
As the prayers raise up, in the lifetime of the Lord.
