When Alara returned to her room, she had to set the watering can down so she could open the door. She put the Apostle on the windowsill and examined it. She didn’t recognize the type of plant, but it had a pleasant herbal fragrance.

  She was not aware of the consciousness inside the plant. It belonged to a guy named Baz, and he was kind of freaking out. He remembered how he’d been hit by a truck and a rather unpleasant goddess had told him he would be reincarnated in a magical world. She’d been vague as to why she was doing that or what he was supposed to do, but he was now a small potted plant. A potted plant with a vivid memory of what it was like for a man to be fatally hit by a truck. He would’ve shuddered if he could.

  Baz could see and hear this woman, a redhead wearing black and white robes, as she paced around the small room and muttered about how she had no idea what she was supposed to do. That makes two of us. He wasn’t sure how his ability to see and hear worked exactly, but so far it was the only thing he could do that a houseplant couldn’t.

  The sunlight felt good on his leaves at least. He was physically comfortable. But how was he supposed to stay sane like this?

  The woman stopped short and pulled up a chair next to the window. She took a deep breath. “I don’t know if there’s a person in there or if the goddess just gave us a houseplant, but I guess I’m going to talk to you just in case. I think I heard somewhere it’s good for plants.”

  She waited. Baz fervently wished he could say something back. She seemed nice. If someone had randomly thrust a houseplant at him, he wasn’t sure he’d have bothered to take good care of it.

  “I’m Alara. I’m guessing you don’t know our goddess Begana, but she’s…” Alara looked around, as though fearful of someone watching. “Put it this way. Just before you arrived, I watched her vaporize a priest who mildly annoyed her. I took this job because I failed at everything else I tried.”

  Baz would’ve sighed sympathetically if he could. His life hadn’t been quite that bad, but he’d had more than his share of failures. His grades had been mediocre, he’d been stuck in a shitty job, and he was a total failure with the opposite sex.

  Alara shook her head and laughed bitterly. “Maybe I’m wasting my time. But then what is my time worth anyway?”

  Stop being so hard on yourself. Not being able to say anything was infuriating. Of course, he wasn’t good at this stuff anyway.

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  She wiped her eyes and told him a bit more about herself. She’d tried to learn magic (they have magic here!), but after picking up a few basic spells she hit a wall. She tried to get into a trade, but she didn’t have the talent for carpentry, smithing, cooking, or any number of other things. Even being an assistant shopkeeper had ended in disaster. In this country the clergy was one of the most dangerous professions, but they took her in. It was that or adventuring, and she was pretty sure she’d be just as useless with a sword as a hammer.

  Alara stood up. “But if I got you a card from the Adventuring Guild…” She went through her meager possessions and found a small pouch that jingled. She pulled out some gold and silver rings. Was she going to sell her jewelry for him? “I’ll be pretty much broke after this, but it’s worth a try.” She looked down at him and added, “A guild card will list a bunch of information about you, and you should be able to get some basic skills too. I’m… not gonna talk to you while we’re out. I hope you understand.”

  He understood. People would probably think she was out of her mind, though they probably already thought that about the clergy.

  She carefully picked him up and headed out.

  The city around them consisted of an expanse of low buildings laid out across hilly terrain, mostly in dull tan, brown, and gray. There were a lot of statues of their goddess though, and the statues were pristine and had offerings left out.

  The guild was a larger building with a simple wooden sign that said, “Adventuring Guild of Ofanopolis.”

  Inside there was a general hubbub as various people—obviously adventurers, straight out of some anime—milled about. Baz saw mostly humans (or at least they looked like humans?), but an occasional elf, dwarf, or animal-eared person. There was one guy who looked like a 3-foot-tall humanoid bear, and he looked annoyed at how people kept overlooking him. I feel you, buddy.

  Alara was clearly out of her element, and glanced around nervously, trying to figure out where she needed to go. A young woman with purple hair and tight-fitting clothes strode up to her. “Hey. You new?”

  “Er…”

  “Not a lot of Beganist priests sign up to be adventurers, so are you here to put in a request?”

  “It’s… complicated. But I need a guild card.”

  It occurred to Baz that asking for a guild card for a houseplant sounded insane.

  “Sure, sure. It’s 30 gold rings.”

  Alara’s face fell. “Thirty?”

  Shit. She doesn’t have enough.

  The woman put her hand on Alara’s shoulder. “Yeah, sorry. The fee went up a few months ago. Importing the materials is difficult because, well, we’re in Ofana. The temple doesn’t have a card machine?”

  Alara shook her head. “I think the First High Temple did, but…”

  “Mercy,” the clerk muttered.

  “I… guess I’ll go then.”

  Baz mentally sighed. Among other things he was starting to miss having lungs. He wished he could do something, anything for Alara. She was really trying to help him, even though she didn’t know for sure if he was a person or just a plant.

  “Hey, wait.”

  Alara turned back to face the clerk.

  “There’s a café next door. Ask the owner if they need help with the lunch rush. Tell her Nerissa sent you.”

  “Oh,” said Alara. “Th-Thank you!”