Ranma ambushed him when he got home. He kicked off his shoes in the mud room and announced his presence but was met with the silence of a hot, home cooked meal. Where was his wife?
Coming out of the kitchen with a huge plate of white rice and perfectly cooked meat and fish. She spoiled him.
Where were the kids? She assuaged his concerns, she left all…three? Four? All of them with his mother and brothers, back at the old dojo. Her desire was clear, he loved it when she was forward. They tumbled into bed, cool sheets tangling into a knot of limbs and pink hair.
A knock on his bedroom door. It was Naoki, whispering something he wasn't interested in hearing. He closed the door in his brother's nosy face, but when he turned around Ranma was sitting on the couch with black hair. Where was his wife?
She reminded him he didn't have a wife, Ranma was a man after all. That wasn't right, didn't he have a gorgeous, pink-haired, devoted housewife? Ranma nodded but reiterated that he didn't have a wife. Naoki nodded in agreement.
He stomped off to the kitchen, and found his wife bouncing their youngest child in her arms while she cooked. The child’s name? He knew it in the dream. Was he dreaming? Wait, was this a dream?
A knock and a voice from behind the noren. Ranma's. But she was right here in front of him with their youngest child. The knock came again, louder, aggravated, and the voice—
“Yo! Open up, I'm gonna be late!” Katsumi's eyes shot open and, in a panic to grab his glasses, tumbled out of bed with a thump that shook the floor. “...You okay in there?”
Ignoring the glasses, he stumbled to his feet and flung open the door, glaring at the pink-haired girl wearing a simple white button-up, navy blazer and matching pants, and her signature oversized shoes. At first he thought she was in the Furinkan boy uniform, but the cut was different so she’d still stand out. Without his glasses he was arrested by her rosy brown eyes. He peered a little closer when he noticed the gold rings around her pupils, and wondered if those were present in her male form.
“Yikes, I didn't keep you up too late or nothin’ did I?” To his embarrassment she stepped back, indicating he'd invaded her personal space, and he guiltily scratched the back of his neck.
“No, sorry, I just don't deal well with being woken up suddenly.” He definitely couldn't tell her about his dreams, even if they were kind of her fault.
“Well ya took my biology textbook, I need it.” She shoved past him and grabbed the book off his desk. “I, uh, I am sorry for wakin’ ya up all rude though, Katsumi-sensei.” She half-bowed and hurried out of his room. “See ya tonight!”
Once she was gone he exhaled and counted his blessings. It was auspicious that he wore baggy pajamas, being that close to her was…intoxicating. As he brushed his teeth he chastised himself for having that dream again, for the third night in a row. Obviously the source was how much time they were spending together. Even if it was spent studying, their occasional tangents and distractions — and she got distracted very easily — gave them a lot of opportunities to bond.
And she was fascinating! Only 16 and so well traveled and experienced, and she seemed genuinely interested in him in return. Logically he knew that even in her cursed form — which she'd been very insistent on changing out of when she got home this week — she was actually a boy, but his brain didn't want to accept it.
Maybe he should talk to someone about it, he considered while tying his shoes. Not Mom, she was clearly stressed out enough with Akio being fake engaged to Ranma. Naoki would probably just make fun of him and remind him that Ranma was a guy.
Definitely not Akio: his youngest brother was clearly working through his own feelings and would probably consider Katsumi a romantic rival.
Mr. Saotome?
…No, Katsumi didn't imagine the man would take his coworker confessing to a crush on his child. Katsumi was tough but Mr. Saotome humbled Akio every evening in preparation for his fight, Katsumi wouldn't fare any better if it came to blows.
Dr. Tofu? He already understood Ranma's curse, he'd been Katsumi's mentor for years, and he always demonstrated patience and good judgement. Best of all, Katsumi knew Dr. Tofu could keep a secret.
Thoroughly satisfied with his conclusion, Katsumi bid his mother a good day and confidently strode to work.
Ranma liked PE even if she didn’t get much out of it. She could if she wanted: sprinting around the track a few times would get her heart rate up, there were all sorts of exercises she could do in the pool, and with all the weights in the gym she could put together a great half-hour routine.
But now she had friends, friends that actually wanted to hang out with her! Sure, she had to endure the occasional question about how far her and Akio’s relationship had gone, but since Ranma was definitely not disappointed that nothing happened on Sunday it was fine. It wasn’t a problem that the girls called her sheltered or a prude or shy or — ugh — innocent.
A little teasing was nothing to a tough guy like her.
“How are you enjoying Nerima, Ranma?” Yuka panted while the five of them jogged, Ranma once again running backward so she could talk with her friends. “Has Akio taken you anywhere nice?”
With a roll of her eyes, Ranma considered telling them about Sunday. She didn’t want to encourage them, but it was a fun evening and the walk back—to the park was nice and relaxing. “Yeah, he showed me a big park over the weekend.” Out of respect to her friend, she didn’t want to reveal exactly why they were there. “Nice place to work out, get some training in.”
“Oooh, a park? That sounds romantic.” Hiroko chimed in. “I wish Keiji took me to a park, all he ever wants to do is play video games at my house.”
“You like playing video games at your house too though.” Sayuri teased, which got a laugh from the other girls. Ranma crossed her fingers that they could tease someone else for a change.
“Yeah, by myself!” Yuka protested, her light-brown bun bouncing with her frustrated gesticulations. “I don’t wanna sit around and watch him play my games badly.”
“I’ve got a great idea!” Short of breath, Asami was practically shouting. “Why don’t we all go out together during break?”
Sayuri, Yuka, and Hiroko launched excitedly into an impromptu planning session that Ranma was more than happy to join. “Yes please, I need a break from the Tendos after last night.” Her hackles raised when all four girls snapped to look at her, and she realized she’d said something that could be badly misinterpreted.
“Not what I meant!” She growled. “They just found out I haven’t seen some dumb space movie and you’d think I killed the Emperor or something.” Akio, Naoki, and she were studying when Katsumi burst into the living room wheezing. His brothers somehow knew exactly what was going on as soon as he said “April 11” and lost their minds.
Sayuri, Yuka, and Asami laughed (though it was more of a single giggle from the latter) but Hiroko narrowed her eyes. “Which movie?” Ranma’s hackles went right back up and she sensed a dangerous aura exuding from her normally quiet friend. The other three subconsciously drifted away from her.
“Uh, Star Wars?” Ranma wasn’t totally sure that was right, they threw a bunch of titles at her, but she didn’t have time to think about it as Hiroko’s face contorted into the same twisted visage of horror as Naoki’s when Ranma admitted to not having seen a 10-year-old movie from America.
“B-but your dad didn’t show them to you?” Her shriek wasn’t too different from the way Naoki and Akio shouted “But you’re a boy!” and Ranma had to wonder why her manhood was being challenged just because she hadn’t seen some movie that sounded like it was for nerds.
The other girls gave her sympathetic looks as she rolled her eyes again. “No, he was more of an Akira Kurosawa, Yul Brynner, Tomisaburo Wakayama kinda guy.” Ranma wasn’t really sure what girl—kids her age were supposed to like, she wasn’t exactly close to anybody in school except for a few friends, and they were just as much outcasts as she was.
“Yul Brynner? Like from The King and I?” Yuka cocked an eyebrow, surprised for some reason.
“Yeah exactly!” Smiling, Ranma was incredibly grateful they could talk about one of her favorite subjects: old movies. “That was his and Ma’s favorite movie, I’ve seen it a bunch.”
“That's great and all,” Hiroko interrupted, “but if you're gonna be our friend you need to see Star Wars! And Empire and Jedi!” Her determination would have been admirable if she wasn't talking about a movie from ten years ago. The other girls gave Ranma a sympathetic look but she smiled.
“Sure ‘Roko. So long as it's after exams.”
“Hiroko!” Asami panted. “At your place, you've got TV. Keiji, Akio, Yūsaku — wheeze — big couch!”
“Err, Asami, do we need to slow do—” The shrill blast of a whistle signaled it was time to hit the showers, and the beleaguered girl stumbled to a stop with her hands on her knees. Ranma leapt behind her and, using her hands, gently pushed Asami’s hips forward and back straight.
“Put your hands up behind your head.” Ranma cheerfully instructed her short-winded friend. “Helps ya catch your breath!” Asami blushed from the sudden contact but followed Ranma's instructions.
It was weird that so many people associated some movie with boys specifically, Ranma just assumed people liked what they liked and it wasn't a big deal one way or the other. Did she find it hard to make friends because she'd missed out on some sort of common experiences for her birth sex?
No, that couldn't be it either, she had a plenty easy time making friends as a girl, despite how little she knew going in. Pops always seemed to make friends easy enough wherever they went and he never saw Star Wars, maybe she should ask him about it.
Heart pounding in his chest, Akio stood outside her door. Never in his life had he been this scared, but after Sunday he knew what he had to do: put his pride and potentially his well-being on the line and just ask.
Running his hand through his hair he rehearsed what he was gonna say for what had to be the thousandth time. He couldn't afford timidity, half-assedness, or any sign of weakness.
Sweat pooled in the small of his back. If this went poorly it would make everything awkward. Not just school, but home too. What would Mr. Saotome think? Or his brothers? Or Mom? Let alone Ranma.
He thought about Ranma's big, rose-colored eyes, shimmering in the starlight, looking between his eyes and his lips; he remembered feeling her heat and her heartbeat when he put his hand against her cheek, how his own heartbeat raced when he thought for a moment she wanted it as badly as him—
“A-Akio?” A voice snapped him out of his reverie and he began to panic. It was her, he'd zoned out and completely missed her coming through the door. “What are you doing here?”
Akio took a deep breath. He couldn't mess this up. Barely managing to suppress his blush, he leaned forward…
“Kuno-senpai! I beg of you: please help me!” He bowed perfectly at the waist, arms locked at his side, to Kodachi, who was wearing the school uniform today for some reason.
He was fixated on the scuff on his right shoe and missed her cocked eyebrow, but heard her chuckle. “Come, then, Akio-kun, escort me to the school gate while you make your request.” It wasn't her venomous or even mischievous chuckle but instead a light, bubbly sound. He hadn't heard her sound like that in years.
“Uh-huh huh, right.” He stammered and scampered to follow her. When he tried to move close to speak softly she put out her palm and pushed him to a respectful distance.
“Careful, Akio-kun, or people might get the wrong idea.” She warned with all seriousness. “I'd hate for the rumor mill to get back to your fiancée that you're pursuing me.”
She was right, of course, Akio had to remember that. He didn't think Ranma would actually get jealous — whatever he wanted to think happened on Sunday was nothing more than a half-remembered dream intruding on his memories, they definitely weren't about to kiss and he definitely wasn't disappointed they hadn't — but if the student body thought he was fooling around with other girls their whole arrangement would be ruined.
“Y-yeah, right.” Now that he was in her presence again, he could barely control his body: every step was an anxious series of jerks and jolts. “I know you can't interfere with the duel or anything, but I don't know anything about how Tatewaki's improved since I last saw him. Do you have any advice on how to fight him?”
Somehow she glided down the stairs even in the frumpy outfit and tsked. “Akio-kun, two days before your duel and you're only now preparing?” Kodachi sounded legitimately unimpressed, and he had to shake his hands in his defense.
“No! I've been practicing with Mr. Saotome every day.” And he had the bruises to prove it. “He's helped me get so much better than I was even in a short time, but I've got no idea where Tatewaki is. I know you guys have a truce thing but if you could even give me a clue I'd appreciate it.”
Kodachi hummed as she opened her shoe locker. Inside were a few pink letters with heart seals. Just like Akio remembered from junior high, she smiled but tossed them into the trash. “It's nostalgic getting love letters again. Just like talking to you.”
Suddenly his heart froze and he felt the need to distance himself from her. Had she smothered her old love for him just to ignite a whole new passion in its wake?
Then she looked at him with sad, thoughtful eyes, and sighed. “It was hard letting you go, but I pursued you so single-mindedly that I ignored everything else that was important to me.”
Okay. That sounded reasonable, maybe he was worried for nothing?
“Sister!” A sonorous voice rang out, and Akio sighed. If it wasn't one Kuno it was another. And there stood Tatewaki at the entrance, staring daggers at Akio. “And the opponent for the most important duel of my short career. Truly you shall be the Sasaki Kojirō to my Musashi Miyamoto.”
That generated several odd looks from the students, though Naoki — who had somehow appeared right next to Akio without his notice — mumbled something only his younger brother would hear. “I'll be your Sasaki Kojirō, damn.”
“What, so you're gonna kill me with an oar?” Akio rolled his eyes, wondering why Naoki seemingly fell for their childhood friend so hard.
Though Akio had to suppress a chuckle when his older brother hissed “Worth it!” under his breath.
“Only your relationship, self-worth, and whatever pitiful excuse for friendships you've cultivated in the short week I've so magnanimously granted you to prepare yourself.” Tatewaki either didn't hear or ignored Naoki's comments, so focused he was on Akio.
Which, frankly, kinda freaked him out. But he couldn't let it get to him: Tatewaki was obviously here to intimidate him or boast or cut a promo and Akio wasn't gonna fall for it. Not when his pride, reputation, and Ranma's lustrous hair bouncing in the early morning sunlight while they ran together or his big, blue eyes perched over that adorably cocky grin when they sparred in the dojo, or how his back muscles shimmered in the warm, soapy water of the furo—
Akio blinked and realized he'd marched up to Tatewaki. The two squared up, noses centimeters apart, and at this distance Akio realized the other boy had also grown quite a bit, their eyes were almost at the same level.
To his frustration, Akio also realized how much broader he was than his friend-turned-rival. Especially in his stupid, garish, ostentatious, and well-fitted St. Khushrenada uniform, Tatewaki looked every bit the svelte — but powerful — swashbuckling hero Akio dreamt of becoming.
It made him feel like a dumb, knuckle-dragging brute by comparison, reaching for the idea of heroism with his inhumanly long arms but utterly failing to grasp it.
“I don't know what I did to piss you off, Tatewaki, but you don't scare me.” Despite his best efforts, Akio’s declaration came out as a growl. Whatever, at least it was dramatic. Even if Tatewaki wasn’t impressed, hopefully it would make for a good show.
“Of course not, you’re ignorant of whom you face.” Tatewaki raised a hand in front of his mouth and laughed haughtily at Akio’s expense, though he was more confused than anything. “I’ve come here to demonstrate exactly how far out of your league I am.”
With a dramatic swish of his capelet, he exited the school and made for the founder statue in the courtyard where a diminutive ninja knelt holding a long bag. Akio knew the Kunos had…eccentric hiring standards but had never actually met any of the servants employed by the household. Despite how close Kodachi and Tatewaki were to his family, they always insisted that they weren’t allowed to invite their friends to stay at their place, even for just a few hours.
So it was impossible not to investigate, though Akio ceased his approach as Tatewaki drew a long, thick sword with a bell guard — an epee — and thrust it in Akio’s direction. “If today, after my demonstration, you wish to forfeit the fair Ranma’s hand to me I will accept your surrender without judgement. But I will grant you no quarter during our duel.” Accompanying his grim statement was a perfect gust of wind that ruffled his capelet and coattail, rendering him as a striking, noble duelist as he kept his arm outstretched perfectly still.
Akio heard a snort and Kodachi’s voice not too far behind him, informing whoever she was with — probably Naoki — about the source of the wind. “It’s just like when I ‘summon’ a bunch of roses, I’ve got someone on staff with an airgun nearby to amp up the drama of the moment.” More chuckles and giggled followed, but Akio already wasn’t impressed or intimidated.
No, all he felt was fury. He wasn’t gonna let anyone take Ranma from him…that is, nobody was gonna make Ranma feel like he had to get married to them. Even his engagement to Akio was just a pretense, a comfortable lie meant to protect them from…well the Kunos, honestly! Regardless, Ranma was his.
…
His friend. His very good friend. Who was also a guy and therefore not someone Akio wanted to be in an intimate relationship with for real, and he definitely still wasn’t disappointed that they hadn’t kissed. Maybe she’d want a kiss after Akio thrashed Tatewaki to protect her honor?
He shook his head to dispel the wholly inappropriate thoughts from his head so he could focus. Tatewaki stood before him, spouting some stupid nonsense about quitting. Akio scowled and settled into a Kempo stance. “—!”
In a perfect world, he was going to rebuff Tatewaki's ridiculous offer and pound him in the face, then wrap his arm around Ranma and take her out for a victory burger or ice cream or ramen or something. Instead a pink blur landed in front of him and pinched the tip of Tatewaki's sword, utterly ruining the moment.
“Hi! Girl bein’ fought over without her permission here.” Ranma drawled. Both boys blinked at the sudden intrusion. “Actually been here as long as Akio. Didja know not a one a ya so much as looked at me?”
Even though her words and tone were dryly amused, the look Ranma gave Akio was as irritated as it was accusatory. “Shucks, you'd excuse me for thinkin’ y'all were gonna kiss each other the way ya were carryin’ on.”
Akio and Tatewaki recoiled, the latter doing a double take at Ranma's fingers refusing to let his sword move a centimeter. Before either could rebuke her ridiculous claim, Asami yelled at them from the sideline “My cousin's gonna appreciate that by the way!” while waving a camera.
“Please, miss Ranma, I apologize if I offended your delicate sensibi—” Tatewaki fruitlessly yanked on the blade caught between Ranma's index and middle finger, trying to maintain his composure, but she cut him down to size.
“Uh-uh! None’a that bull!” She barked, and when his grip went slack she stole the sword out of his hand and kicked him under the chin as he leaned forward to take it back.
The blow launched him backward and ass over teakettle and he slammed into the founder’s statue. Ranma unceremoniously chucked the purloined steel behind her back for Akio to awkwardly catch.
He had to admit, seeing Ranma so utterly dominate Tatewaki was…kinda exciting. “Akio's no coward, an’ he ain't no quitter. I know this is all ‘bout your revenge for sullyin’ the good name of your sister or whatever so keep me outta it, ya hear me?”
With a dismissive pivot, she stepped back to Akio and leaned up to his ear. “Sorry if I ruined your moment, he had somethin' planned an’ you still gotta work on your parry.” She said softly, and started pulling them back to the school.
“W-wait!” They sighed and turned back to Tatewaki, who was staring at Ranma slack-jawed, and not just because of the bruise already starting to form. “Did my sister tell you that?”
A cursory glance at Kuno-senpai revealed that she wasn't even aware of it herself, she looked as shocked as her brother. Ranma shrugged. “Naw, it was pretty simple. If ya cared about me at all you woulda at least said hello when I walked up. Like I did.” She nodded at Kodachi. “Your sis did say somethin' about vengeance but she hadn't pieced it together yet. An’ you get all…sneery at Akio when you see ‘im.”
She looked up at Akio with a little smile that warmed his cheeks. “I know he's a cute dork an’ all but that's the kinda look ya give your worst enemy, or some guy who's made your sis cry.”
Silence filled the courtyard as everyone processed what she said, and Tatewaki scrambled to his feet. He was no longer “sneering”, but Akio didn't like the sparkle in Tatewaki's eyes as he looked at Ranma with naked awe.
“Allow me, then, to apologize for underestimating you, Lady Ranma.” Suddenly his composure fully recovered and he brushed a hand through his hair, accompanied once again by a flattering blast of wind. “I admit, I considered you a formidable but ignoble creature, such as Ratatoskr, Zhu Gāngliè, or the Beast of Gévaudan. But I understand now that yours is a fierceness not unlike Atalanta, Yuenü, or Hasinaw-uk-kamuy!”
Kodachi sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Brother, almost nobody here knows all of those references.”
“That's why I cast a wide net!” He snapped before returning his attention to Ranma. “Regardless, I assure you: henceforth my priority will be proving to you that I will be a superior husband to that fool Akio Tendo.” With his arms spread wide he let out maniacal, supervillainous laughter before a final flourish of his cape. “Come, Sasuke!” he barked and coolly swaggered away.
Emboldened by his rival’s apparent cowardice, Akio couldn’t help but hurl a taunt at his retreating backside. “Yeah well thanks for the sword, jerk! I needed something to train with anyway!” He had a triumphant grin on his face when he looked at Ranma, who seemed worried for some reason and was chewing the tip of his thumb. “Oh, Ranma, you okay?”
“Tell ya about it later.” An audience, gathered to watch a fight that never materialized, dispersed with disappointed sighs and groans, but most of them approached Akio and Ranma, eager to hear what that was all about.
Friday evening turned into Saturday morning at a glacial pace, and Ranma spent the entirety of the hours between staring at his ceiling. He'd never been this nervous before, and he had to suffer a half day of school before the duel once he woke up. Logic wasn’t any help, either: the engagement wasn’t real, Ranma didn’t have to abide by the result of the duel, and Mrs. Hana and Pops already said they wouldn’t honor the result either. But Akio’s reputation was in jeopardy, and Ranma couldn’t do anything more to help him.
That couldn’t be why he was so nervous though, right? Akio was his friend and the guy didn’t deserve to suffer, but that wasn’t any reason to be nervous. Right? Right, Ranma was probably nervous about something else, like his exam! Once they were done with the duel Ranma could focus entirely on that.
Ranma told himself he was just nervous because he’d spent Thursday and Friday evening helping Akio and Pops prepare for the duel instead of studying. Ranma was proud of how much progress Akio made in only a week, especially once Ranma started assisting Pops (once his homework was finished, of course).
Teaching wasn’t something Ranma ever seriously considered until the prior week, but now that he had a bona fide student it was impossible to deny how good it felt to shape someone and help them master the Art. No wonder Pops was so serious about it.
As Ranma’s thoughts wandered and he forgot about the duel, sleep finally started to claim him. Thoughts danced chaotically around in his skull, providing mental white noise and finally calming him hours after he crawled into his futon.
A smile crept onto his face as he recalled his plans for after the duel, which his gallant fiancé Akio would definitely win, and he could already smell the chicken and spices. Akio would definitely appreciate a hearty meal with lots of protein and carbs after a hard bout, and maybe he’d take a bite and love it so much he’d turn and finally give Ranma that ki—
Ranma’s feet slammed on the floor as he vaulted out of his futon, blanket drifting to the floor. He stood with his arms and legs spread wide and laughed nervously. “Hahahahahah! No sleep for me tonight, I’m not the one fighting. I’ll go for a little jog and—” the thought of a jog was interrupted by a flashback to Akio’s lips only centimeters away — “I mean lift some weights in the dojo! Yep!” Weights were safe, weights didn’t make Ranma think of how Akio had effortlessly carried her home from the skate park or how soft and firm his chest felt or the way his sweaty tank top clung to his abs after a workout.
It was immensely frustrating how a cold shower would not help Ranma and he realized the true curse of Jusenkyo was just how damn inconvenient everything involving water was now. He took a deep breath and grabbed his school bag. He’d neglected his studies, so he’d go make some tea and spend the rest of the night with his books.
Going without sleep for the night probably worked against her. School was basically impossible as her attention kept wandering and she’d daydream of swords, flowers, Akio, Akio’s lips, back to swords, Tatewaki’s smug face, Akio’s lips, swords, flowers, Akio’s…it wasn’t a productive day, to say the least. Lunch was particularly embarrassing as she’d tried to eat a hand towel, thinking it was a rice cake in her bento. And of course Akio had to be all cute about it when her friends laughed, and he pulled her close, and all she wanted to do was fall asleep against his warm body.
It was gonna be a full eight hours a night from here on out.
The walk to St. Khushrenada woke her up a little, at least, as a defiant cold front in the early days of Spring came with a bite that pierced her thin tracksuit. Akio tried to pull her close when he noticed her shivering but she vaulted up to walk on the fences as usual, making up some nonsense about practicing her balance in the wind.
Her jaw dropped when the school came into view, and she questioned why Kuno went to a public high school when her younger brother apparently attended some sort of castle complete with towers, buttresses, parapets, hanging banners…how did a place like this exist in sleepy lil’ Nerima?
One of the oddest sights was a circle fountain with steel birds standing and flapping in the water. “What the heck is that?” She had to know, pulling at Akio’s jacket to get his attention and pointed at the sculpture.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
“Hmm? Oh, the school’s mascot is a goose.” Akio mused half-heartedly. “You’ll see geese all over the place.” He gestured at a mural depicting a flock of the birds taking flight, though the artist had clearly taken some artistic liberties with their design.
“Those are some tall geese,” she mocked, which made her companions chuckle. “Guess that explains why Tatewaki’s kind of a loon.”
At least the regular uniform wasn’t as ostentatious as what Tatewaki had been wearing, the main difference between the Furinkan boy’s uniform and theirs was that the jackets were dark green instead of navy and the trousers were khaki with a stripe of the same green running down the sides of the legs. Ranma had a chance to finally see Tatewaki in the normal uniform as she and Akio headed to the locker room, leaving Naoki to find his way to the visitors’ entrance.
“Akio Tendo, the Gallant Lion.” Tatewaki’s distinctive booming voice slammed into them from behind and they sighed. He stood confidently, one hand on his hip, as Sasuke (Akio politely explained who the tiny ninja retainer who silently followed Tatewaki around was) held his equipment bag. “And Ranma Saotome, the Fierce Tigress. Two animals destined to live apart, separated by fate.”
More like separated by overhunting and geography, but whatever, Ranma didn’t have the energy to keep the irritated scowl off her face.
“For you, my orchid.” Tatewaki produced a single pink orchid and extended it toward Ranma, who didn’t move to take it. When it was clear neither politeness nor common courtesy would change her mind, he placed it to his nostrils and took an appreciative whiff. “I shall place it ‘gainst my breast so that I might have a symbol of your love near my heart.” Ranma gagged as he tucked the flower into his jacket as a boutonnière.
“But you, Akio Tendo…” He stepped forward, menace and hate writ clear across his brow. “May the best man win.” Akio rolled his eyes but unentangled his fingers from Ranma's to return his erstwhile friend’s handshake. Ranma realized with a blush that apparently she'd gripped Akio's hand as soon as Tatewaki arrived. They shook and made their way to…apparently different locker rooms? Ranma was just glad he was gone.
When Naoki heard they converted the exorbitantly spacious St. Khushrenada gymnasium into a fencing venue for one duel he thought it was going to be an embarrassing display of gratuitous spending with a handful of spectators awkwardly watching a boring sport in silence. Instead, he felt the weight of the audience before he even pushed through the doors and the muted din of conversation crashed against him.
Not only was there no more space in the bleachers, folding chairs surrounding the piste barely had enough room between them to allow Naoki through and they were full as well. He didn’t know how long ago his mother had to get a front row seat — considering she was one of the duelist’s mothers it was probably reserved for her — but he was grateful she’d saved him room next to her.
“Hey sweetie! Akio make it here okay?” She put down some trashy romance novel and pulled out an earplug, wincing slightly as she was exposed to the full volume of the arena.
“Him and his coach.” Naoki confirmed. He took a moment to look his mom over and gave her an approving smile. “And ooh la la, you trying to impress his other coach with that outfit?” Hana Tendo didn’t get enough chances to get out and look nice as far as Naoki was concerned, and she clearly had fun with it. She had a sleeveless, mauve one line bodycon dress with a matching suit jacket thrown over the back of her chair. It made her look like an OL but her simple jewelry, subdued makeup, sensible flats, and messy bun made it seem much more casual.
The way her expression soured as soon as he suggested any interest in Mr. Saotome, however, made his blood run cold. It wasn’t the puppy love blushes his brothers and Ranma kept experiencing, she legitimately looked nauseous at the idea. “Heavens, no, Naoki! Where’d you even get an idea like that?”
“Uh…” He couldn’t remember if he’d heard a rumor or if Akio told him he’d heard a rumor, but his short answer was: from school. It wasn’t hugely important but it stuck with him enough that he blurted it out without thinking, but clearly it was so far from the truth he worried his mother was upset by the mere implication. “...I think some of Akio’s classmates said something about it last week before the, uh…’engagement’ news came out.”
It was to his great relief that she shook her head. When Naoki sat down she leaned close and whispered in his ear. “Imagine someone thinking you’re dating a girl and you’ll understand how I feel about it.” And indeed the thought made his stomach clench. “But thank you for the compliment sweetie!”
Naoki wouldn’t normally describe his mother as someone who would take advantage of a situation for personal gain, especially if it could potentially hurt him or his brothers. But it was certainly convenient that if anybody outside the families asked about her relationship with Mr. Saotome she could point at Akio and Ranma and say they were in an arranged relationship.
He decided he’d admire that about her instead of letting it scare him.
“Why hello Miss Kodachi, here to cheer on your brother?” Naoki didn’t even notice his classmate approach and almost jumped out of his chair. To his surprise, she was wearing the Furinkan uniform instead of the kimono he’d seen her in earlier today.
She was also standing ramrod straight, and her bow was stiff and robotic. “Hello Mrs. Tendo, it is pleasant to see you again.” Her monotone was strained and thin, with a barely perceptible shaky warble, and Naoki realized the normally unflappable Kuno was quite flapped, possibly even terrified to be in his mother’s presence. “But no, I am here to support Aki—that is, Furinkan’s representative in the name of school spirit.”
Kodachi was still bent at the waist, and Naoki heard his mother sigh. “Dear, I’m disappointed in how you handled a little rejection, but you gave my boys so many wonderful years that you’ll always be like a niece to me, please stand up.”
Even Naoki didn’t expect that level of composed magnanimity, especially since he’d definitely heard mama say some rather choice words about Kodachi when talking to the school staff. Regardless, it probably had the desired effect since as she stood up Naoki could see her eyes already shimmering with wetness. “Th-thank you Mrs. Hana! I’m going to return to my seat now, please give my best to Akio and Katsumi and Ranma.” She quickly stammered, bowed again, and hurried away.
“Wow, mama, you really did a number on her…” Naoki mused, positive he’d never seen Kodachi so close to crying before. Then his mother chuckled and gave him a wicked grin. “...Did you do that on purpose?”
“I meant what I said, but I had to comfort your brother a lot over the past year because of her petty grudge, she’ll get over a few tears.” The sinister smile immediately vanished and she just looked at him like she did every day when he got home. “Do you wanna tell me how school was today before the bout starts?”
Nevermind, his mother terrified him.
Akio wasn't sure what to expect but a huge crowd wasn't on his list. As he entered the gymnasium, flanked by Ranma and Mr. Saotome, a chorus of cheers erupted from the room, drowning out everything else. Barely audible over the audience he could make out a voice coming from loudspeakers. The announcer called his name right before another burst of support from the audience — this time specifically from the side full of Furinkan students, something else he wasn’t expecting — and he gave a surprised wave in acknowledgement of the support.
He and Tatewaki stepped up onto the raised platform that supported the piste as Khushrenada students plugged his suit into the electronic scoring machine. So far, other than the extravagance of the arena, it seemed like they were going to have a completely normal fencing bout. He raised an eyebrow at Ranma, who shook her head: Tatewaki could still surprise them.
While Tatewaki was getting plugged in, Akio took a moment to scan the crowd. He was very excited to see his mom and brother here, a little disappointed Katsumi couldn’t make it but he understood, Shingo and Kiichi were in the stands giving him the thumbs up, Ranma’s friends of course, he guessed the girl sitting next to Asami was her cousin. Mariko Konjo was in the audience as well, and he was incredibly relieved he wouldn’t have to worry about her and her cheerleaders making the bout all about her. More surprising was Kodachi, who sat calmly and stared directly at him. It was a little uncomfortable, but when their eyes met she gave him a respectful nod.
“Akio, eyes forward!” Saotome-sensei warned him, and he saw Tatewaki’s attendants fitting a cape around his shoulders. Akio narrowed his eyes, a cape could potentially block the signal from his epee and cancel his attacks. Plus if what Ranma suspected was true…
“Cheating, Tatewaki? Doesn’t seem like the St. Khushrenada way!” Surely he wasn’t foolish enough to blatantly cheat in front of everybody, but Akio couldn’t let him get away with it without a challenge just in case.
“Of course not, Akio, in fact my adherence to the rules of good taste are going to provide you with a slight advantage.” He gathered up the corner of his cape to cover his arm and side, and once he had confirmation that his suit was connected to the electronics he came within striking distance. “Go ahead, stab the cape, it will register a hit like anywhere else.”
There wasn't any reason to suspect he was lying, but Akio poked and was rewarded with a buzz from the speakers. In a normal bout, sure, this would give Akio a slight edge, but this was surely part of some scheme or trap. “Okay, I can respect a guy willing to go out in style.” He shrugged and winked at his coaches. Mr. Saotome scowled and Ranma turned red with anger but Akio had things under control. With an elaborate bow and a flourish, he secured his helmet and tapped blades with Tatewaki.
With their faces obscured, Akio imagined his former best friend grinning instead of sneering, like they were 13 again, about to go do something stupid or risk getting caught skateboarding after curfew. He didn't want to fight his friend like this, with serious stakes and a huge crowd. While the judge recited the rules Akio memorized a week ago — first to 15 points, any location on the body counted as a hit, no time limit, multihits were allowed within 0.4 seconds, blah blah blah…Akio looked at Ranma instead.
She was busy studying Tatewaki, analyzing him for the trick she was sure he had up his sleeve. Behind the mask Akio let himself be honest about how he felt about her, how after only two short weeks he — he really…he wanted her to like him.
Last week he swore she wanted to kiss him as bad as he wanted to kiss her, until she said those words: “what are you doing?” Naoki was right, Akio was just projecting.
Firstly, Akio wasn't sure if he could like another guy like that. Was he willing to try? He didn't think so, not right now. Which was a problem because the second thing was that Ranma was a guy who just looked like a girl sometimes. Basically just at school. Akio wasn't stupid, he knew what changed during the second week: he almost kissed Ranma on Sunday, and Ranma didn't want to give Akio the wrong idea so now every day when they got home it was back to boy form.
Message received. It made the Tatewaki bout feel even more unnecessary, of course, like the stakes were completely made up even though everyone was taking them so seriously. Forfeit was out of the question though, not after how hard he worked. As long as he had fun and gave it his all it'd be fine.
Tatewaki took a stance and raised his sword, snapping Akio out of his thoughts, and he did the same. This was what he'd been training for. “En-garde…” the referee warned over the loudspeaker. The crowd was deathly silent, making his breaths and heartbeat deafening. Was he nervous? For what? This whole thing was a farce built on a stupid sham. One that was now gonna have real consequences.
“...Pret…” Why was he shaking so bad? There weren't any real stakes. He didn't want to let down Mr. Saotome of course, but that couldn't be it. The real answer was literally staring him in the face, not that he'd admit it was Ranma. Because it was Ranma, obviously.
In the split second between pret and allez, Akio was honest with himself: no matter the form, he was doing this for Ranma. Even though he didn't like Akio the same way, he liked Ranma, as something more than a best friend. That had to be enough for now.
“...Allez!” The speed and power Akio put behind his opening lunge surprised even him. Their plan was to bait Tatewaki into playing his hand too early, giving Akio as long as possible to concoct a counter. Instead he smashed through Tatewaki's defense and scored a hit in the blink of an eye.
Both sides of the gymnasium cheered, and Akio realized he'd also taken a hit. “Very impressive Akio-chan,” Tatewaki taunted from behind two layers of mesh. “Guess you weren't just playing around the last week.”
Despite the confusingly complimentary words, Akio narrowed his eyes and shot back “You know better than to think I wouldn't take you seriously.” Returning to his position was awkward because he got to see Ranma and Mr. Saotome’s glares.
“What the hell was that, Tendo?” The currently pink-haired younger Saotome was on him immediately. And yet Akio didn't mind, so he just flashed his coaches a V.
“Got in my head, but I got this.” Confidently he settled into place and raised his blade as the referee began the next countdown. Part of him was surprised he was so cavalier about brushing off Ranma’s frustration, but it was invigorating to be fighting Tatewaki again. They’d practically grown up together, and Akio didn’t realize how much he missed his old best friend.
“Allez!” Cried the ref and the clang of clashing blades filled the arena.
Tatewaki was an overconfident little brat but Kodachi knew to never underestimate him, especially when it came to the blade. Her heart demanded Akio win, but especially how angry her little brother was she wasn’t sure. Once Ranma deduced the real reason behind his challenge, Kodachi realized he must have been preparing for this day for months, perhaps even as far back as Akio’s second refusal.
She tried to tell Tatewaki that he didn’t need to do this for her, she was finally at peace with Akio’s decision, but it was clear when her little brother insisted he had to carry through for the sake of her honor that it was really about his sense of betrayal. The boys had been practically inseparable, it made sense that he felt personally slighted. Still, it was ridiculous and she wished her friendship the Tendos wasn’t put at risk due to his need for revenge.
The buzzer sounded as Akio scored a second point, and Kodachi joined the rest of the Furinkan section of the bleachers as they cheered and screamed. Ranma whooped as well, drawing Kodachi’s attention to the tiny girl who’d won Akio’s heart. Tatewaki swore he had no intentions on her but after Thursday Kodachi knew that had changed.
It was obvious from their first meeting that Ranma was special, but the way she'd shut Tatewaki down so effortlessly indicated she had hidden reserves of strength and ability. Kodachi needed to investigate, to study and analyze the younger girl. But no, she was engaged to Akio Tendo, because the boy needed even more unearned gifts in his life.
Kodachi was well aware she had far greater privilege than any of the Tendos, of course, the Kuno family wealth was greater than most by a wide margin, but Akio enjoyed an existence unburdened by responsibility or constant hardship — other than losing a parent, which she wouldn't wish on anyone having gone through such an ordeal herself — while simultaneously being blessed with incredible skill, and that felt unfair sometimes. So of course fate delivered unto him a perfect fiancée. Ranma cooked for his family, was an incredible martial artist, and took time out of her day to help train him even though she was struggling with her studies.
Blades crashed with such speed and intensity Kodachi jumped. The sound snapped her out of her reverie like an alarm, but when the duelists broke away from each other neither had scored a hit. A few students cheered vague affirmations but Kodachi was transfixed by Ranma, who turned to her father with a huge, cocky smirk and a blush that was visible from halfway across the room.
Rumors reached Kodachi like everyone else in school so she'd heard that the Saotome girl was “head over heels” in love with Akio, of course, but seeing it in action was something else entirely. Kodachi huffed in frustration: why did Akio get everything handed to him like that? Even she basically threw herself at him because…well she was going through a difficult time and making poor decisions. Hell, even Ranma’s violence was good for whoever she directed it at, once Kodachi lay humbled at Ranma’s feet she was able to step back and gain perspective on the Akio situation.
A buzzer went off but Kodachi didn’t bother paying attention to what happened until she noticed the students around her standing and applauding, so her body followed suit. Ranma wasn’t just some meathead, either, the girl was perceptive, cunning, and appreciated martial arts beyond their ability to cause damage. Nobody had ever looked at Kodachi with such excitement, with such respect as Ranma after their duel. She worked out and took advantage of a flaw in Kodachi’s fighting style seconds after seeing it used the first time.
And she was compassionate! Nobody would have faulted her for leaving Kodachi lying face-down in the pool, but Ranma jumped in and saved her anyway. Whatever Akio was doing couldn’t possibly be enough, there’s no way he deserved her, nobody did. Whatever hardships Ranma endured to achieve her level of mastery, only Kodachi could possibly understand. If anything, Kodachi was the only person who deserved Ranma. They could learn so much from each other, push each other to new heights. Clearly Ranma’s father was a phenomenal master, but with a proper friend like Kodachi Ranma would doubtless become even better.
Another roar from the crowd as the buzzer sounded, but suddenly Kodachi felt like crawling under the stands until everyone was gone. She wasn't jealous of Ranma for winning Akio, she was jealous of Akio because he had Ranma.
Kodachi wanted Ranma to pay attention to her, to make her meals and come home with her and spar and train and sweat and bathe and kiss—
Oh. Oh no. Kodachi was infatuated with Ranma.
After four rounds, Akio was up 10 to 8, and still Tatewaki hadn't shown any signs that he had a backup plan. Akio was frustratingly cavalier about it, and Ranma wanted to smack him: Tatewaki wasn’t reacting poorly, he kept making the same smug comments after each exchange, he was clearly going to reveal some sort of secret technique at the last second and turn the fight around! It was a classic martial arts gambit!
This was the real problem with Akio mostly fighting amateurs, he didn’t understand the process of a proper martial arts duel. Sure this fencing stuff had the trappings of a sport, but it was a martial art first and foremost. He wasn’t at her level, but Tatewaki knew enough to know that.
Her stupid fake fiancé flashed her another V on his way back to the starting position and she couldn’t handle it anymore. “Tendo! Knock that stupid cocky look off your face!” She hissed, and he recoiled, forgetting that she didn’t need to actually see his kissable lips to know when he had that confident, cute smile.
“You’re only up by two!” Hopefully reminding him that he wasn’t steamrolling Tatewaki would get him to take things more seriously. “Stay focused and don’t let your ego get the better of ya.” Was she too harsh? Whatever, even if she was, if he lost she could lord that over him before she gave him his present, and if he won then she could be the one with a confident smirk and celebrate by giving him his present. But he better not lose.
Fortunately Pops nodded in agreement so Akio acknowledged them with a quick bow. “Yes, coach!” He declared before settling into his starting position. Ranma would ride that boy’s ass until he took all his fights seriously if she had to.
They didn't have to wait much longer for Tatewaki to make his move, however. As the bout went on the crowd’s excitement cooled, and by the time the duelists scored another double hit the applause was polite and reserved. “Do you hear that, Lion of Tendo?” Tatewaki suddenly pontificated, breaking from his established sportsman calm.
Nobody said a word as a suspenseful silence filled the room. Akio put his gloved hand to the side of his helmet and shook his head.
“Exactly! The noble art of the blade is the gentleman's sport, but we are not gentlemen, are we?!” Ranma nodded. Now Tatewaki was getting into some ridiculous martial arts talk. “Even as close as we are, our bout has dragged on for too long to keep the crowd's interest. This is supposed to be a duel for the greatest prize of all: the heart of a woman!”
Suddenly a spotlight shone on Ranma and she immediately started to fume. “Hey leave me outta this you—!”
“Restrictions and constraints have no place on the battlefield of love!” Tatewaki's voice drowned out Ranma's protests as it suddenly boomed from the walls. “Our duel cannot be decided on something so clinical and soulless as points!”
With a guttural noise, he spun and severed the cord connecting his suit to the scoring machine. The staff manning the devices shrieked and scattered as the automatic winch sucked it up and began sparking. In the chaos and confusion, Ranma noticed a group of ninja sneak up behind Akio and unplug him.
Naturally, the crowd didn't seem to mind the sudden change. If anything they were fired up, either because they thought this was part of the show or things were starting to get interesting again.
“Ladies and gentlemen please stay in your seats!” A raucous new voice blasted from the speakers, and one of the girls in the Furinkan section cheered. “The bout between the St. Khushrenada Hydra Tatewaki Kuno and the Gallant Lion of Furinkan High School, Akio Tendo, has new rules! It's a no-holds barred match of steel and fist. If either of the duelists leaves the piste they will be disqualified, other than that there are no rules!”
Ranma scanned the crowd and noticed Naoki with his face in his hands, but couldn't see where the irritating voice was broadcasting from.
“Commentary duties will now be handled by me, Ichiro, and the Furinkan Broadcasting Club.” Once again that random girl in the crowd whooped, but Ranma had no idea who this was. “I'll also begin our final round: may the best man win and claim the beautiful Ranma Saotome's heart.” Well, whoever he was, he was going to die once Ranma found him.
“En garde, pret, allez!”
Like a gunshot, Tatewaki dashed at Akio and started jabbing with such speed Akio could barely defend himself. To Ranma's immense pride, after retreating a few meters he launched himself into the air, slashing down as he careened over his opponent, and attempted to go on the offensive.
A crack erupted from Akio's chest as Tatewaki somehow flicked the length of wire still connected to his suit like a whip, knocking the Lion of Tendo on his butt. With barely restrained fury, Tatewaki spun and attempted to pin Akio to the floor, but Ranma whooped as he revealed their surprise.
Admittedly, it was much less flashy or sophisticated than Tatewaki's whipcord tail thing, but the important part is that it worked. The blade struck steel as Akio deflected it with a bell guard in his off hand wielded like a buckler. His blade short forward and dug into Tatewaki's chest, eliciting a gasp of pain from the young Kuno.
On the one hand, Ranma was legitimately excited. Structured fights were kind of boring and referees and judges didn’t care much for the philosophy of Anything Goes. This was a proper brawl and thus much more fun to watch. On the other hand, she wished she was out there on the piste whupping Tatewaki herself. Ugh, it wasn’t fair: she was the best fighter in the area and she’d only been in one proper fight since she got to Nerima.
A shred of mesh flew through the air as Akio pressed his advantage and swung his epee wildly, catching and tearing Tatewaki’s lame. In a stunning display, Kuno retaliated not with his own blade but with his cape. As Akio came in with a follow-up blow, the gold material shot up and latched on to his forearm. He yelped in pain and sprang back, revealing…
“That's it!” Ranma shouted once Tatewaki finally played his hand. Sewn into the hem were epee tips that shredded through Akio's jacket, leaving his forearm bare.
“The St. Khushrenada Hydra reveals a hidden technique to counter our Lion’s claws, but are thirteen sets of fangs enough to take down the king of the jungle?”
A ball of paper hit Ranma in the back of the head and bounced between her and Pops, whirling around she saw Mrs. Hana and Naoki mouthing “Open it!”
On it was hastily scrawled…romaji letters spelling out a word Ranma wasn't familiar with. “Hey pops, this says…’heh-ruh-ku-ri-suh’?”
Genma glanced at it for a moment, then confidently said “Birukuress.”
“That…that doesn't help, pops. Plus I think it's ‘heruhkuris’.”
“Nonsense, Birukuress makes perfect sense, it's a type of bug that glues itself to ships and whales and such.”
“You mean barnacles?”
They were interrupted by another piece of paper, thrown by an exasperated Mrs. Hana. Thankfully it was written in a language Ranma was more comfortable with. “Mrs. Tendo what's a ‘he-ra-kuh-ri-su’?” She appreciated that they were trying to help but this didn't mean anything to her or Pops.
Fortunately Akio caught on. “Oh, Hercules! Thanks mom!” He took an instant to wave between slashes of Tatewaki's sword, cape, and tail, then launched a counter-assault.
With a dazzling flourish, as Tatewaki lashed out with his cape, Akio dodged the strike and sliced down, severing the tip of the improvised weapon. It drifted out into the audience as Tatewaki finally bounced back and relented.
“Well well well, it seems there's a proper warrior in there after all, Tendo!” Once again his compliment felt insincere, but there was an edge to his voice, a hungry rasp. “Seems your country princess and her father managed to beat some cunning through that thick skull of yours.”
“Hey! Who're you callin’ a country princess you stuck-up ponce?” She wasn't going to take that lying down, she was well-traveled, resourceful, a genius martial artist, and no spoiled rich boy was gonna hold that against her.
Also she wasn't—he wasn't a princess.
“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Tatewaki!” Akio attempted a witty rejoinder but the folksy aphorism he chose was more cute and dorky than cool or intimidating. Ranma giggled and gave Pops a ‘get a load of this guy’ look but he was too busy focusing on the fight to notice. “You're way better than you were but you don't know anything about how to fight for real!”
Barbs exchanged, they charged each other with complete, untempered aggression. Tatewaki was a tornado of white and gold, spinning and slashing with every part of his body. Akio was like an avalanche, projecting his ample strength forward. In their fury no piece of clothing was spared, blades gouging deep and bringing up tufts of copper and cotton.
It was…not altogether unpleasant seeing Akio topless after a few minutes of this, and the crowd certainly agreed based on the irritating amount of cooing. Less pleasant was the amount of shallow scratches and scrapes covering his pecs, abs, and biceps. Instead of going for Tatewaki's clothes Akio focused on removing pieces of his cape, but that proved to be a trap.
The fewer blades in his cape, the greater Tatewaki's precision and accuracy, and he'd suffered almost no body hits. “What a match this has been, ladies and gentlemen, but Akio Tendo seems to be losing his momentum as quickly as he's losing his clothes! Can he turn this around one more time or will he fall before he can cut off any more of the Hydra’s heads?”
Indeed, Akio's limbs sagged and his breath heaved while Tatewaki stood tall and absentmindedly played with the tip of his blade. “You heard the man, Akio. Too bad you couldn't have just accepted my sister's declaration of love, then you wouldn't be here.”
Ranma had half a mind to get up there and smack Tatewaki for even suggesting it, especially given how hard she'd worked to free Akio from Kuno’s obsession, but then Akio spoke and tore the rug out from under her. “No matter what happens here, I'd do it exactly the same way all over again just to be with Ranma.”
Instantly she felt her legs wobble under her and her heart skipped a few beats while she took a moment to process what he just said. It didn't feel real, it couldn't be real. It had to just be part of the act, part of the engagement story. Even if the only people who heard him were Tatewaki, Pops, and herself. Naoki would be proud to hear their student was making so much progress in selling the bit. Even Ranma wanted—believed—bought it temporarily.
Clearly it was part of Akio's plan since Tatewaki responded with such vitriol. With a guttural roar he charged at the immobile Tendo. Ranma heard a girl shout “Akio!” from nearby but she was too transfixed with how her boyf—crus—best friend and student was about to be ravaged.
Blades clashed as he threw the bell guard and his sword at Tatewaki, and while he easily swatted the projectiles away Akio rolled between his legs and took hold of the dangling wire still plugged into Tatewaki's suit. “You forgot the central tenet of Anything Goes Martial Arts, Tatewaki!”
Heaving with all his might, he hurled his opponent up and away from the piste, too far for anyone to try and weasel back to safety. With a satisfying whumph Tatewaki crashed into the gym wall face first and slid down into the bleachers.
Everyone took a moment before the room erupted with noise and cheer. Ichiro started saying something over the loudspeaker and Pops rushed onto the stage to throw his arms around an unsteady Akio. The whooping girl was leading the Furinkan section of the stands in a cheer, Ranma was vaguely aware of Naoki squeezing her shoulder and leaping up to join his brother, but she was grateful all eyes were on Akio.
Until someone shoved a microphone in her face, that is. “I'm here with Ranma Saotome, whose hand in marriage was just defended by her fiancé Akio Tendo! Miss Ranma, can you tell our listeners how you're feeling right now? Any plans to ‘celebrate’, or do you wish you'd be going home with a different betrothed tonight? No detail is too salacious!”
The Ichiro kid looked almost exactly like Ranma envisioned, with a stupid feather hairdo and irritating eyebrows. He put his hand over the microphone and narrowed his eyes. “Get that mic outta my face before I send you to meet the loser.” He growled.
Unfortunately he wouldn't know if his threat was effective as Mrs. Hana of all people appeared behind Ichiro and gently but firmly put a hand on his shoulder. “Mr. Ichiro, it's so nice to see you again. Surely you want to talk to my son or his head trainer in light of his victory?”
Even before she spoke, Ranma saw a shiver run down Ichiro's spine and his face lost all color. Mrs. Hana had something over him, apparently. All he could do was squeak and nod in response before he started worming through the crowd gathering around Akio.
“Sorry dear, I hope that wasn't presumptive of me.” The Tendo matriarch asked with a smile and put an arm around Ranma's shoulders. “You looked uncomfortable and I thought I'd butt in.”
Normally Ranma liked his personal space to remain personal and private, but Mrs. Hana felt like a fortress against the press of bodies swarming the stage. Given how wild her emotions were running right now, Ranma was thankful for her stability.
Akio had to make it worse though: Ichiro shoved a mic in his face and started asking how it felt “defending his love” or some crap, and the big idiot dramatically removed his helmet so the last few hours of sunlight made his sweat-slick hair glisten then had the nerve to wink and flash Ranma a gorgeous smile. All that was bad enough, but he apparently found the time to write a stupid speech just in case somebody asked him this question.
“Look, there were a lot of times during that fight I considered giving up.” Akio looked appropriately ashamed he'd even considered it. “But it wasn't just our bond that kept me going. Ranma and her father Saotome-sensei spent the last week getting me ready for this, even when Ranma had more important things to do.” Instead of a flashy wink and toothy smile he softly grinned at her, which made the warm, twisty feeling in her stomach even worse. His mom was here, didn't he understand he didn't need to lay it on so thick? Especially when he knew she was obligated to respond in kind and timidly blush and look away like a lovestruck little girl.
“I know I’ll always have her in my corner no matter what, so this isn’t just a victory for me, it’s a victory for Anything-Goes Martial Arts!”
It was a long, eventful day for Hana Tendo. It had been a while since she had the chance to support their extracurricular activities, and while she was concerned about the scratches, cuts, and bruises her baby boy suffered she couldn't have been more proud of him. Perhaps the only one who could be more proud of him was Ranma, who Hana was now convinced had fallen for her son.
Fortunately, despite the way Ranma doted on Akio all evening, took care of his injuries, offering to feed him dinner by hand — to “protect his bruised fingers”, naturally — Hana managed to keep her cool. No more would she be plagued by disorienting fantasies about marriage, grandchildren, or pink-haired daughters-in-law.
She just had to channel those urges into the proper outlet.
Once she'd bathed, taken her medicine, and gotten into her pajamas, she quietly locked her bedroom door. She prayed to her late husband's shrine, wished him a good night, and pulled a thick accordion folder from a drawer in her nightstand.
Inside were three aged manila folders, each labeled with one of her son’s names. They contained notes, photos, magazine clippings, newspaper articles, advertisements, and memories she'd collected over the years. These were their wedding booklets, which she kept updated in the hopes she'd be able to help plan their eventual weddings with their wives — or, well, partners. Even if Naoki didn't marry a woman for the benefits, she wanted to make sure he had a day to celebrate his love, even if the Japanese government wouldn't acknowledge it.
Akio's was the thickest: not because she'd somehow gleaned more information about her youngest child over the years but because inside of his folder was another folder, the manila still crisp and clean. There was no name on this folder, but by itself it was thicker than any of the others.
It was stuffed with clippings and cutouts from bridal magazines, homemade sketches of bouquets and dresses, half-written speeches and haiku, and brainstorming. None of it was specific except for a single page slipped inconspicuously in the middle of the stack.
This page was full of unlabeled details. You'd have to know in advance who the subject of the page was to realize it was about them. Some of the details even lacked context and just looked like a series of numbers and letters.
Only Hana knew the folder was dedicated entirely to Ranma and her “cursed” form.
It was her compromise, her guilty pleasure. She noted the date in romaji, drew the kanji for sword, and leaned back in bed, clutching the folders to her chest.
Neither Ranma nor Akio seemed put off by swords, maybe they could work that into the wedding decor? More likely, given that the two were fierce martial artists, they'd enroll their children in fencing or kendo.
Thinking of grandchildren broadened her smile and she flipped through the folder, pulling out a sheaf of ancient, yellowed papers covered in names. Baby names, to be precise, left over from before the boys were born.
She imagined how lovely it would be to meet the children who might have these names. Maybe the first few would be girls! While her sons meant the world to her, she wished she could have held baby Kasumi, Nabiki, or Akane in her arms. Not that their uncles would likely appreciate their nieces having such similar names, she supposed. But she could indulge in the fantasy as much as she wanted, she'd earned that right!
Still, by the time children were a consideration, Ranma and Akio might have their own names picked out. Hana slipped the page back into position and let out a contented sigh.
Would Soun approve of this relationship? According to Genma, it'd be hypocritical of him not to. She shook her head: the whole point of this was to let herself daydream guilt-free. Ranma was a boy, he made that clear, and Hana would respect him. But she would take a few minutes before sleep to pretend.
Tonight was the first night Ranma was grateful for his own room. He'd die of embarrassment if Pops saw him tossing and turning because of some stupid boy. Especially one who Ranma meant nothing to.
Thinking about it again made her—his stomach hurt, which was stupid. Of course Akio was just baiting Tatewaki, the boy who actually liked Ranma. He didn't know that Ranma was actually a guy though, so he'd probably be just as uninterested as Akio if he ever found out.
Plus they’d just met two weeks ago. They didn’t know anything about each other — except that Akio liked space movies — so they probably didn’t have much in common beyond their shared love of martial arts. So why was Akio so confusing? Why didn’t Ranma feel this way about Naoki, who shared Ranma’s love for indirect tactics, misdirection, and illusion? Naoki, who seemed to be the only one in the household who never seemed confused about Ranma’s gender? Or why not Katsumi? He looked like an older, more mature Akio, he was easy to get along with after you got passed how awkward he could be, and he was sweet once he got to know you.
Ranma pinched the bridge of his nose: why was he sitting here comparing boys in the first place? Why wasn’t he thinking about Sayuri or Yuka? They were cute, they didn’t have boyfriends like Asami or Hiroko. Or Kuno-senpai? Sure she could be intense but since their duel she’d been nothing but kind and polite to Ranma, plus she was beautiful.
Dwelling on it didn’t clear anything up. If he wanted to sleep, Ranma needed to accept that he was interested in Akio in a way that he’d never been interested in anybody. Regardless of his form, his heart and stomach fluttered when Akio paid attention to him, or they shared a moment — real or otherwise — or Ranma thought about the kiss they almost shared last week, or that stupid, awful, sweet speech he gave after the fight.
He sighed and held P-chan tight against his chest. A weight lifted from his shoulders but he was left with a horrifying question to answer. What was he supposed to do next?
