45 - From My Cold, Severed Hand

  Ulmond’s Feasting Hall, Helfran Murderfest

  The entire room was locked in battle. Ralicuk moved from soldier to soldier, shredding them. Ulmond and Sir Grey fought on top of the table. Petra dodged blades, threw weapons, and struck down foes. Aiden launched fire at the warlock and blocked the flame directed his way. Sissy cleaved her way through the battlefield, her armor covered in blood. Annelise melted the face off a noble wearing a tunic and skinny jeans.

  They seemed to be gaining ground, but then the tide turned, and the Helfrans overwhelmed them. Tim was tackled by a group of guards. Ulmond struck a decisive blow to Sir Grey's wrist, and his sword went flying out of his grip. Petra fumbled her dagger, and a noble raised his sword for the death blow. The warlock charged her fiery mantle for a beefed-up attack. Ralicuk fought his way to Sissy and grabbed her by the neck.

  Annelise's phone rang.

  It was the default ring tone on the iPhone. Strangely, the noise distracted everyone in the room, and the battle paused. All the eyes turned toward Annelise, and she said, "Sorry, forgot to turn off my phone. It could be the boss calling. I have to answer this. Hello... no, this is Annelise... I know this is Mr. Jackson's phone, but really, I'm called Annelise... Wait? Who’s this? You're Suzy?! Well, I didn't know it was your body... It's my first mind transfer... um."

  Mr. Jackson turned toward the Silent Legion, who were giving him an icy stare.

  Sir Grey used the distraction to stab Ulmond with a dagger he grabbed from the king's belt. The melee resumed. Petra dodged the attack, picked up her weapon, and slit her opponent's throat. King Ulmond retaliated and stuck his sword in Sir Grey's gut. The Traldalorian noble cried out in pain.

  The warlock screamed, "No!"

  A massive sheet of flame burst forth, knocking Aiden back because he was closest. The death wave incinerated soldiers as it washed over them, leaving flaming husks. The inferno consumed everything in its path. Jack galloped in, holding a bucket of water. He was chanting a tune, and the water welled up from the bucket and turned into a funnel. Jack cried out the final verse of the spell, and the vortex rushed towards the center of the room.

  The waterspout picked up swords from the fallen while it gained speed and shot weapons in a swordnado, killing the rest of the nobles and guards. The Silent Legion took cover to avoid being impaled themselves. The fire from the warlock surged towards the water. Ralicuk cried out as his body was set ablaze by the unnatural flame, and he dropped the Paladin. Before it burned Sissy, the two forces of nature met in the middle of the room and exploded in a mass of steam that fogged the entire place.

  The warlock attempted to ignite her spells, but there was no more fire left in the room. She twisted a ring on her finger, and with super speed, she ran towards Sir Grey and scooped him up. The pair blinked out of existence.

  Petra was the first to poke her head out of hiding. She saw that, other than Jack, her son was the only one left standing. He was waving his hands in the fog and saying, "So pretty!"

  Sissy popped out from underneath the husk of Ralicuk's body. She ran to Jack and kissed him multiple times. "I knew you wouldn't abandon us," she said between breaths.

  Tim was next. He pushed the bodies off him. Three men impaled by one spear toppled to the ground. He ran over to Aiden and saw that he was okay, even though he was bruised and battered from being flung across the room. Aiden smiled weakly and said, "Fire barrier. Used the last of the torchlight for it."

  That left Annelise, or as he should really be called, Mr. Jackson. He stood up from behind the table, his princess dress in tatters. The dagger was still glowing green, and the group turned towards him. Petra pulled out her weapons, Aiden flicked a lighter he had taken from a fallen Helfran merchant, and Sissy brandished her sword and shield. Tim readied his crossbow, and Jack waved the bucket around.

  "What are you doing?" Sissy said out of the corner of her mouth, while they slowly approached Mr. Jackson.

  "I'm trying to see if I can collect water droplets," Jack said. "Fog is just gaseous water, you know."

  Mr. Jackson backed up against the wall and waved his dagger.

  "I got you this far," he said. "You won't get anywhere without me. I protected you. Saved Jonathan. That's got to count for something."

  "You lied to us," Petra said. "You did this to us."

  "I was under the thrall of my Moon Mistress," he said. "She needed you."

  "For what?" Petra said, while she inched closer. Mr. Jackson could take out one or two of them, but there was no way he could get them all.

  "A spell, she needed the beating hearts of five heroes. She would never be able to ensnare the heroes on their own, but a bumbling group of her Instagram followers—"

  "She has an Instagram?" Petra said.

  "Yeah, there's a WiFi signal that blankets all of Carnt. Some sort of magical explosion poked a hole between our worlds. Did you know that Natalie Merchant is from here?"

  "Oh, my god, I love her," Tim said.

  They both sang Jealousy .

  "All right," Petra waved her arms. "Enough of that! Right, so why us? I'm sure there must be other weirdos like you out there who'd be more than willing to sacrifice themselves."

  "There were," Mr. Jackson said. "But I kind of made out with the guild master's girl. It was a moment of weakness. She does this thing with her tongue."

  "No geek sex descriptions, please! Okay, so you get desperate and use us instead. But for what?"

  "To get her back to our world. She got trapped here by a merchant with this cabin that phases between our world and here."

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  "Why doesn't she just use the cabin?"

  "Because I don't have the key," Jenny said, startling them all. She had materialized, accompanied by a goblin servant holding a large yellow jewel and a staff. The moon mage was precisely what a person would expect of a thirty-something trapped in a far-off fantasy realm for many years. She wore clothes from Petra's world that had been patched and sewn back together many times. Her make-up and nails were improvised with pigments from Carnt. She had even fashioned a selfie stick from a bamboo pole.

  The party shifted their attack stance toward their new opponent. Jenny waved her hand with a glove that glowed blue. When she followed with a flick of her wrist, the weapons all popped out of their hands and clattered to the ground. She pulled a piece of rope off her belt and cinched a knot. The Silent Legion's hands were bound by a magical force.

  "I've been here a while," Jenny said. "And in my quest for that god-forsaken key, I've amassed quite a few magical items. The real Silent Legion, the people prancing around Beaverton in your bodies, are used to magic. They would never have let me flick my wrist, or use the rope, or this..."

  She grabbed the stone from her goblin servant and tapped it. Then, a beam of yellow light shot out and hit each member of the party except for Jonathan. The five Jenny had selected rose into the air while they struggled against their bonds.

  Jenny continued. "I'm not a villain, Petra. I'll let your child live because I only need the five of you. I also needed a royal necromancer to sacrifice, and while it would give me much joy to send Duke to the abyss, I gotta hand it to you, Mr. Jackson. The princess of Helfra? A necromancer? I wouldn't have believed it. Why do you think this spell is near impossible to cast? Necromancers who obtain royalty status are usually the murderous type and don't give up their life so easily. You served me a dainty little princess."

  "Thanks," Mr. Jackson blushed. "Wait? What do you mean, served?"

  Jenny snapped her fingers with the same glove she had used to disarm the party. Mr. Jackson's dagger burst into a puff of smoke. He was too busy clutching his burned hand to notice her whispering into the stone. A beam of light hit him, and he floated into the center of the five members of the Silent Legion. The rays converged into one coming from the jewel to Mr. Jackson, then split from his body into the five on the Silent Legion.

  The beam intensified, and they each felt a shockwave of pain through their body.

  "Mama?" Jonathan said, a worried expression crossing his face.

  "Fweb, the staff," Jenny said, and her goblin companion trundled forward with a walnut staff with an opal on top. He held the artifact above his head in the path of the beam between Mr. Jackson and Jenny.

  The moon mage caressed the yellow sapphire and played You Were Meant for Me by Jewel from her phone.

  The nineties pop folk song triggered the staff, and Jenny was engulfed in magical fire. A red bolt shot out towards Fweb. He ducked when it hit the gem and let go of the staff. The walnut magical item hovered in midair, locked into the spell. A fiery orange glow burst from the opal and slammed into Mr. Jackson's chest, and he cried out in pain. Five more split from his back and went straight to the beating hearts of Petra and her pals.

  Jenny continued to sing, and the phenomenon grew in intensity. The group cried out in agony, and what had been a hum grew to an almost deafening level. A portal opened behind the group into darkness. It increased in size, and orange flaming eyes emerged in the depths of the abyss beyond.

  Jewel belted out the bridge of the song, and a creature appeared in the dark. It was massive, evil, and apparently drawn to the sound of the heroes' heartbeats. The thumps were amplified through the dark ritual, and a gigantic, clawed fist burst from the void and reached for Petra.

  Corwin wandered back into the room with his sword drawn. "Chicken farming be damned. The king would take half me chickens in taxes. It's time to stick up for something I believe in, and that's real heroes. Not some nobles getting rich off—what's this?"

  He surveyed the room and saw the hand coming through the portal. It clutched Petra. She cried out in pain as it pulled her toward the maw, waiting for her on the other side of the portal.

  "On second thought, chicken farming has decent benefits. Even if I have to give half the chickens to the noble. That's still half for me."

  Corwin backed away.

  Jonathan rammed into the fist with the full force of the enormous barbarian, knocking it just enough to loosen its grip on his mom. The halfling fell to the ground and saw a dagger on the floor she could reach even with her hands bound if she rolled just right. Jenny was too distracted by the spell to notice. Petra dove for the dagger, but Fweb braved the steel and leaped towards her.

  Petra thanked her lucky stars that her son loved kicking a soccer ball around in the backyard and had gotten pretty good for a three-year-old. His foot connected solidly with the goblin and sent the creature flying across the room. She picked up the dagger mid-roll and flung it with a flick of the wrist as she rolled back around.

  The last notes of the song played when the dagger imbedded in Jenny’s throat. She gagged, dropped the phone, and the spell stopped. Everyone fell to the floor. The portal snapped shut, and the vanishing creature howled as its massive fist was severed from its body. The moon mage pulled the dagger from her throat, and blood gushed out. Fweb ran to her side. She twisted a ring on her finger, and the pair disappeared.

  Once Jenny was out of proximity, the party's hands were free. They were helping each other to their feet when King Ulmond popped out from behind the table. His mouth was agape. He pointed from the heroes to the severed hand and stammered, "You... that... it..."

  "You're welcome," Petra said.

  More guards burst into the room and saw their lord was a quivering mess.

  One of the guards said to another, "Um... should we kill them now?"

  Petra nodded at the demon's clawed hand and said, "Want to try it?"

  Another guard said, "Um... how about we escort them out of the city? You okay with that, boss?"

  "Claw... claw... giant... demon... claw!" King Ulmond gasped.

  "We'll see ourselves out," Petra said, and the group made a hasty retreat. As they were heading for the door, Mr. Jackson's phone rang. Petra yanked it from his hand and answered it.

  "Sorsha!" Petra said. "It's good to finally meet you. Is that what I sound like over the phone? I thought I was less nasally. Right... Jack, Ameria wants to talk to you about a spell. It should transfer our minds back to their right places."

  She tossed him the phone.

  "Hello?" Jack said. "Is that what I sound like? I thought my voice was deeper... right... yeah... I'm pretty sure there is a lake nearby..."

  They all filed out of the room, and guards took the hint and followed.

  King Ulmond sat down next to a few of the charred corpses. After a while of burying his head in his hands, he saw one of the bodies twitch. The king moved over to get a closer look and saw a peculiar sight. One of the nobles who had been impaled by the swordnado was bleeding out. The blood was pooling near a charred corpse, the one that had twitched. However, the volume of blood wasn't increasing, it was decreasing.

  The blood was being absorbed by the corpse. When Ulmond bent over to inspect, it thrust out a hand and gripped the king's neck. Then, it pulled him close and grunted, "LeDuke's armies will rise again."

  It dug its teeth into the king's flesh.

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