"So we invaded tree people and now we got free box!" One of the tiny green goblins said, clearly very proud of himself.

  Riez had heard about Spif and Spaf, that Celeste had practically created them and tasked them with protecting the tree of life that was located in A'kastin, and for her trouble, she had made an enemy of Orlek, the god of orks.

  Spif and Spaf were definitely unique, as they were the result of a bug. Apparently, they shared some connection, and for quite some time, not even the game knew which one was which, and assigned all damage and status ailments to a third, non-existing entity called Spof.

  "Smeghead! You cannot just say the ending to story and expect person to understand entire story" The other goblin said.

  "Yes, you can! She be smart, she understand reading between lines." The first goblin said.

  "Nuh uh! If she so smart, why she try take free box from us?"

  Riez cleared her throat and put on her best smirk. "Shh! Me be here to break you out. Me be in disguise." She said, lifting her eyebrows conspiratorially.

  Instantly, she caught both goblins' attention, and they seemed almost awed.

  "You be in disguise? You be Orlek?" Spif asked, and Riez was sure that it was Spif, since it was the goblin standing on her right side.

  "No, no Orlek, me be-" She was cut off before she could continue

  "YOU BE ORLEK GENERAL! We be Orlek general too, but me no hear about dis." The goblin said with a slightly confused look.

  "Uhm, no me no be Orlek General, though me want to hear more about Orlek general. Me be Riez, and me be white goblin." She said with quite a bit of pride, turning around and showing the symbol on her cloak.

  "Oh? You be with boar clan? Me no hear from them in long time" said Spaf, since it was the goblin standing on her left.

  "Ye, me leader of boar clan. And only member of boar clan... so me also GREATEST HERO of boar clan." Once more, both Spif and Spaf appeared to be very impressed by this.

  "So how we get out of free cage?" They seemed to say in unison, and giving a look to Riez.

  Riez tried to guide the conversation onto something more useful.

  "Before we talk about getting out, how you two get free cage? Me be smartest of boar clan, but me no understand reading between lines."

  Spif seemed very proud "Well, me understand reading between lines, so me understand story."

  Spaf shook its head. "Dum dum be too smart for own good, dum dum be... neerd"

  Instantly, Spaf drew a knife from its pockets, having been insulted more by the nerd comment than anything else.

  "ME NO BE NERD! BUT YOU BE DEAD!" Riez idly wondered how they had been allowed to keep weapons on them, but honestly, the elves probably didn't even want to search through them.

  The two goblins were tumbling on the ground, fighting between each other, the knife already laying discarded in one side of the cage, as they bit, scratched and punched one another.

  She picked up the knife and cleared her throat. The goblins didn't react in the slightest, and she couldn't help but do it a bit louder. She was honestly impressed by them as they seemed to hit each other in the face in almost perfect synchrony.

  "Ey! Spif be right" She said confidently, the goblins smiled smugly at each other, clearly believing that Riez had just declared them the winner of the argument.

  "Also, why did you leave A'kastin?" She asked, wanting to know more.

  "Well, we be chosen by Armandos", Spif said with a smugness that seemed to almost pour from them. As the goblin got up, it moved to the other side of Riez, and she relabeled it as Spaf.

  "Yea, we be very important and protect crystal tree", Said the new Spif. "But we have amazing tree and the tree people come say they own every tree."

  Spaf nodded in agreement. "We made sure to check. Asking if all trees we see belong to tree people... they say yes."

  Riez furrowed her brow. "So the elves come and say they own the tree of life? And in return you pointed at every tree you passed and asked if they also owned that tree, most likely driving anyone near you insane?"

  Spif took up a combat position, as if the little goblin knew karate. "Yes! But we be good at fighting, so we fight them off, Spif take three hundred elves... on own... With eyes closed!"

  The other goblin clearly wasn't going to be left out of the honour, added to what Riez got the feeling was some slight exaggeration. "And Spaf take down people made of tree. They big as a bloodork!"

  Riez recognised a trap when she saw one. If she asked what a bloodork was or what those people made from trees was, then she would be getting a whole different story from the two gremlins, and she needed to know what had happened before she could move on to the next topic.

  "So you win battle?" She asked.

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  "YES!" "No!" The two goblins answered at the same time.

  "Moral victory!" Spaf clarified.

  Spif nodded so hard that Riez could hear the goblin's brain bounce around in its skull. It sounded like shaking a can of spray paint.

  "Yea, elves take tree and link it to World Tree. But doing so make it flim flam."

  Riez was about to ask what they meant by flim flam, but she caught herself. She had to keep them on track.

  "Yea, so we say we just make it better when tree people leave, and then they give us free cage!"

  Riez had a million questions, and she knew that there was no way to get a straight answer out of her two new lieutenants.

  "That not be good. We need get tree back! So me tell you deep secret." Riez made a big number of looking from side to side, over her shoulders, despite knowing that they were the only ones in the prison.

  "Me be Armandos." She said with confidence. "Me be boar clan leader, me be white goblin, and me be here to set you free!" She exclaimed the last part proudly, as if they had already broken out of the cage and had achieved victory.

  The goblins looked at her with confusion, then opened their mouth and closed them again.

  "Armandos be a lot shorter than me remember." Spaf said, and instinctively Riez swung at the goblin's face, the hit connecting hard and sending the goblin flying across the jail cell.

  "I am not short" She simply stated, looking at Spif, who had become Spaf now that the other goblin had been thrown across the jail cell and to her other side.

  Spaf nodded so hard that once more the sound of a spray paint can being shaken could be heard.

  Riez shifted her footing and then looked around. "Besides, it was the other me that you got chosen by", she said confidently.

  Spif was slowly nodding as it sat up, eyes barely registering anything around itself, the world still swimming for the poor gremlin. "You got a Spaf too?"

  Riez made a wobbly motion with her hand. "I mean, kinda. It is not important. The most important thing is a plan." She said, waiting a moment for Spif to return to Spaf. "We need you two back at the tree. To do that, we need transportation. Do you have any, and I mean any, idea how we can move quickly around the world?"

  The two goblins seemed to think, and Reiz wasn't sure if it was the wood underneath them that was creaking or their combined brainpower. A second later, the gust of wind blew through the crown of the tree, and Riez realised that it was definitely the wood making that creaking sound.

  "OH! ME KNOW!" Spaf said, very enthusiastic about the idea that it had come up with. "We get bird egg from bird nest, then hatch egg, and raise giant bird that can fly anywhere!"

  Spif seemed completely dazzled by how great that idea was. Riez nodded slowly. "Mmmh, big bird eat goblin for food. But we call that plan B."

  Spaf open its mouth in protest. "I volunteer to use Spif for food!"

  "NUH UH!" The reply was instant.

  "YU UH!"

  "You be food! Spif no taste good! Spaf be better food!"

  "Spaf only be better food because Spif be poopy head!"

  Another knife was drawn, and the goblins ended up in another fight. Riez could definitely see a track from where the goblins would constantly roll around, almost wearing out the branches underneath them.

  Five minutes later, Riez had another dagger, and the goblins were gnawing on each other's arms while trying to think.

  "Why we no use Alman stone?" Spif asked.

  Riez looked at Spif with suspicion. She wanted to ask about the stone so badly, but there was a fair chance that they would end up going down some weird tangent. Reiz decided to gamble, after all, it might be something useful.

  "What be Alman stone?" She asked, looking at Spif with a scrutinising look.

  "So long ago", Spaf started to say, only for Spif to take over. "There was tree person who thought: What if nature good?"

  "And then tree person become god of hunting and nature." The golins seemed to almost align in their thoughts as they both seemed to focus on one singular task, which was explaning what the Alman stone was.

  "This person was Alman. However, being one of the first elves to step on the land, Alman and Daikia were related." They continued, speaking as one, their grammar clearing up, and Riez realised that this was what Celeste had talked about. How the two goblins seemed to synchronise, their stats melting together. Their intelligence was improving from abysmal to passable.

  "Daikia hated Alman, as he had achieved godhood through self-realisation and inner peace, while she had to make a pact with Mishrus, tainting her bloodline. So she went to Ewen and applauded the arrogant mage for his greatness, for allowing Alman to steal half of his followers." The goblins said, their bodies moving as one as they acted out the story for Riez.

  "Ewen believes himself to be smart, but he is not. He became jealous, and he urged Alman to declare all forests under elven property. Alman, believing that his brother had his best interest at heart, did so, knowing that only the humans would try to resist this claim." As Spif pushed out its hand to show the declaration, it was as if the world itself seemed to shake ever so slightly, and Riez could swear that the goblin had invoked some kind of divine power, though it didn't appear to have any effect.

  "But Ewen went to Kelllwan, claiming that Alman saw Kelllwan as easy prey for a hunt. Ewen offered Kelllwan a way into Alman's realm, as Ewen was able to command the veil between Spheres. Kelllwan accepted, and with an enchantment from Ewen, Kelllwan killed Alman. But not before Alman had created an artefact that would allow the elven people to conquer every forest: The Alman Stone." The goblins explain, while Spif mimed being struck down by Spaf.

  "Kelllwan learned of Ewen's betrayal, and never forgave the elf, while Ewen blamed Daikia, and as revenge, her started creating his Grandmasters to kill her children, the Ilshers." They said, clearly wrapping up the story.

  "Where is the Alman stone now?" Riez asked, knowing that it might definitely be the key to all this.

  "I-" "We-" the goblins faltered. The question was definitely something they couldn't answer, and as such, the synchronised stats seemed to break apart.

  "I thinks the council have gots it!" Spaf said with a bright smile, and Riez smirked as the broken grammar returned.

  "Great! In that case, we have a plan! We will get you back to your tree and un-flim flam it! We will do this by getting the Alman Stone from the elves here in Mek. We are gonna track it down by doing some top-tier investigation, which we can do as soon as we get out of here. Now, all we need to do is get out of here, which will be easy because there is nobody here to keep an eye on you." Riez laid out the plan with a proud smile.

  > ????????????: ???? ?????? ?????????????? ???? ?????? ???? ??????.

  The text popped up in Riez's vision, and she almost jumped back.

  "What the-"

  The goblins looked around for the threat that the god had clearly been startled by. Both of them were pulling out another knife, and Riez couldn't help but wonder how many knives they had on them.

  >????????????: ???????????? ?????? ???? ?????? ???????? ????????????????, ???? ?????????? ???????? ?????? ?????? ?????????????? ?????? ????????. ???? ???? ???????????? ????????. - ??????????????

  "Huh... That is pretty neat." Reiz added.

  "What be pretty neat? It no be Spif..." Spaf said clearly feeling some kind of superiority.

  "Me no understand what Spaf say, because SPAF BE DUMDUM!" Spif said in a very loud voice, and Riez knew that within seconds, they would be tearing each other apart.

  Riez sighed and looked around. "Can you track me down the Alman stone?"

  >????????????: ???????? ?????????? ???? ????????????????. ?????? ?? ?????? ???????? ?????? ???????? ?????????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ???? ????????????????, ?????????? ?????? ????????????. ???????? ???????? ??????????. - ????????????

  Riez gave another sigh. It sounded like she would have to find her own way out of the cage.