Yeah, yeah, I know it's novel November, and I said I'd be writing for Of Myths and Mysteries, but I have a writer's block for it right now. So I'm working on this instead of staring at a page and getting nothing written.

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  “Shopping?” The suggestion by itself was enough to make me pause. I think I could see where this was going.

  “Yes, shopping,” Commander Johnson said, looking at the four of us. While there wasn't any tension in the air, he was still being serious.

  Okay, I was lying a bit. There was tension. Today has been a day. Between Exia hacking the Central Government to find out our questions about Vapaus and the run-in with Triangle? And everything that led up to it? Safe to say we were a bit on edge.

  “Really? After all that's happened and you want the three of us to go shopping?” Anis complained. I kept my mouth shut. I would completely agree with her under normal circumstances.

  Johnson himself didn't look particularly great right now, either. Finding out the Central Government had been sitting on Vapaus, not long after finding out Marian was alive and converted into a Heretic? He was hurting, even if he was putting on a brave face.

  Part of me wanted to know how the Central Government even managed to piece together that information in the first place. A vaccine for corruption? That was no small thing.

  “After today, I do think some measure of team building exercise is in order,” Johnson’s voice was firm, even if exhaustion leaked through. Anis and Neon both shifted in slightly different ways, while I stood still, suppressing the urge to protest.

  Could I have handled things better? Probably. I still wasn't used to being part of a team that I didn't actively despise. And it wasn't like the idea of some form of group activity was a bad one. Even if I wasn't the best with people. I really didn't know much about my teammates at all.

  Well, I knew a bit. About their quirks, like Anis being moody and cynical, Neon being obsessed with firepower, or Rapi being stoic. But that was all, yes, part of who they were. But anything about them? Their favorite color, their hobbies, their interests?

  Complete blank slate. I knew a bit. But not as much as I probably should.

  “That does sound like fun,” Neon nodded her head in agreement.

  “I wouldn't be opposed to something like that,” I said, likewise nodding. It would be good to learn about everyone else's hobbies and interests.

  There was nothing that could possibly go wrong.

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  “You honestly didn't think that this would be clothes shopping?” Anis’s eyebrow was raised as she looked at me, a skirt in her arms.

  “No,” I admitted with a slight frown on my face. I wasn't pouting either. Anyone who said otherwise was lying.

  “What did you think was going to happen? Most of your clothes don't fit anymore, and what you've bought so far is just,” Anis paused, trying to find a way to put my clothing choices without stepping on my toes. “Boring.”

  “And?” Wasn't the best counter attack in the world. “Boring's fine. I was thinking about hobby shops and the like. Not clothes.”

  Anis looked as if she wanted to smack me. “I saw the dress you had for your old body. It's not impossible for you to dress nice.”

  “Just because I can doesn't mean I want to,” I huffed, crossing my arms as Anis only seemed to glare more. “Shirts and pants are perfectly fine.”

  “They're functional if you actually know how to dress yourself,” I glare back at that remark. I was an adult. Dressing myself was something I'd figured out a while back. “Doubly so when you only seem to buy clothes that are smaller than you need.”

  “Hey, I'm still getting used to this,” I frowned. My clothes were just a bit tight. Nothing actually important in the long run. Still getting used to things. My old body hadn't been impressive by any stretch. Anything was an improvement from it, even if I wasn't used to it.

  “I get it, you went from being a string to looking like that,” Anis was still giving me an annoyed look. “But even if you're so dead set on the tomboy look, you need to have stuff that actually fits. Otherwise you'll have more men walking into walls.”

  What was she even talking about? I remember the event pretty clearly. But. “Wasn't that guy staring at you though?”

  I couldn't tell if Anis was flattered or had gone back to wanting to smack me. Only in the end for her to shake her head, throwing the skirt and shirt into my face.

  “At least try those on first,” I scowled slightly. Looking at the skirt? I can't believe I was about to say this about a skirt.

  “It looks a bit long?”

  “Trust me, it won't be!”

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  Anis pinched her brow. This was something. Elen always struck her as the practical type. It wasn't even her behavior that was the complete surprise here. She never gave off particularly feminine vibes. Elen seemed to be content marching to the beat of her own drum.

  Even if it was easy enough to get Elen to fall apart into a blushing mess.

  But having observed her since Elen got her own body? Anis could really only come to one conclusion. Elen didn't know what her body was actually like.

  As weird as that should have been. A Nikke’s body was their idealized self. To not be able to see that was strange. She didn't know what to make of it. Why would Elen see her body in a way it wasn't?

  “I don't think she's figured it out yet,” Neon said as Anis tried to resist rolling her eyes. Elen was already enough of a pain, between having the fashion sense of a young child and her just not viewing shopping as anything beyond a practical issue. She didn't need Neon telling her things she already knew.

  “And what exactly have you been doing to help with that?” Anis huffed. Yes, her concerns had ultimately been for nothing. But just because things didn't go wrong, didn't mean that it couldn't have gone wrong at any point. And it very much could have.

  Elen was treating it seriously, but not as seriously as she should be. The fact that Shifty hadn't sold them out was a good thing, but Elen had nothing to predict that other than faith. She was more focused on trying to be clever rather than smart or cautious.

  Not that what she said didn't unnerve her.

  Elen didn't talk much about herself. But if what she claimed about how old she really was had been true? Elen didn't seem like the type to lie. Even if it seemed impossible for someone's brain to have survived for that long. Anis had no problem believing what Elen had to say.

  Why would people from before the Rapture war be any different from those today?

  “I am helping,” Neon said, seemingly not caring too much as she dug through the pile of hats.

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  “Oh, exactly are you doing that?” Anis let out a huff, moving to grab some clothes of her own.

  “It's a mystery tool that will help us later,” Neon chuckled to herself, finally grabbing something.

  Whatever that was supposed to mean.

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  The skirt was a skirt. Yes, I am truly a master of words.

  But how else would I describe it? It came down to about my knees, which was a surprisingly tolerable length as far as I was concerned. I felt like it would come down a bit further on my legs, to be honest.

  Still didn't feel right though. It left the lower half of my legs exposed aside from my shoes and socks. The air was pleasant, warm even. But it just felt strange. I wasn't used to this in the slightest.

  The shirt was nicer though. Or, it fit me better. Blue had always been my favorite color, so the nice light blue shade was nice. There was just one, slight problem.

  I think Anis chose a shirt that made my chest look bigger. Not sure how it was possible, it actually felt a bit looser than what I normally had on. Despite that, it was a nice shirt. And Anis would start getting mad if I just shot down every suggestion she had.

  So it would be best to pick my battles. Yes to the shirt, no to the skirt. Straightforward. Simple. Putting the skirt on the go back rack and taking the shirt, I decided to do a little bit of perusing before making a purchase. Mostly because I wanted to, but also to get the jump on any scoldings.

  Problem being?

  I gave no single damns about fashion. Shirt or hoodie, jeans or shorts, done. No mess, no fuss. Just something straightforward. Simple, just the way clothes should be. None of this fancy nonsense.

  I tried to look for anything else interesting. There were a few shirts that I grabbed. Just simple ones. There was nothing particularly fancy. No shirts with designs, or any writing on them in general. I highly doubt that anyone on the Ark knew what a cow was, and why you shouldn't pet their fluffy relatives.

  So yeah. It wasn't helping that the Ark's clothes were boring. Either that, or Anis dragged us to one of the more boring clothing stores. Could have been one or the other, in my opinion.

  Then something drew my eye. With a few shirts draped over my arms, I made my way over. Okay, maybe this wasn't a waste of time after all. Sports bras were something I'd grown to love. I was a bit bigger now, so? Guess I could just grab a smattering of sizes and just test. That would work.

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  “Was that really all you got?” Anis looked at me.

  “You wanted me to get clothes? I got clothes,” I placed it down on the counter. Yes, the majority of it was sports bras and shirts. Managed to find a few pairs of pants in my size. Mostly shorts, real shorts, not short shorts.

  “The fact you call those clothes,” Anis’s nose wrinkled as I rolled my eyes. Judgy today, weren't we? You wanted to buy bootyshorts and skirts while giving me grief? Neon wasn't giving me this sort of trouble, and I certainly wasn't judging Anis for her choices

  “I think it's clear we both have very different tastes when it comes to clothes,” I shrugged, using the card Johnson gave us for the excursion. That was something I didn't entirely like. When I bought things before, it was with my hard earned cash. Having to use someone else's money after spending all this time being self sufficient?

  To say that left a bitter taste in my mouth was an understatement. But my pay was still shit, and looking gift horses in the mouth was also something I'd learn not to do.

  “We should stop by the food court. I'm getting hungry,” Neon said as she finished paying. Anis seemed like she was about to open her mouth in protest.

  “Sure, why not?” She shrugged as I nodded. We were out in public. Chastising Neon about how we didn't technically need to eat was a stupid idea. If people couldn't figure out we were Nikkes, that was their problem. No need to point them to the answers.

  Still, more of the artificially flavored slop. Nothing I could really do about it, though.

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  “Weren't you going to say something?”

  “The boss says not to get involved with customer quarrels Janice. Romantic or otherwise.”

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  “Why do you eat like that?” Neon asked. The question was innocent, but it still made me pause. Still, with the noise of the food court, nobody could really listen in. “Like you can't wait to be done?”

  “Because I've tasted the genuine thing. This doesn't even come close to comparing,” I said, placing my burger mockery down on the tray. Still after all this time, the food was slightly off.

  “Really? I heard there wasn't supposed to be a difference,” Anis spoke between swallows.

  “I mean, how many people are around that have experienced anything else?” I shook my head. Maybe the rich and powerful, who might be able to afford to extend their life could still be kicking around. But they also likely had some way to avoid eating this slop.

  A frown grew on Anis’s face from that statement. And it wasn't the wrong one. All these people. The number of them that had felt real wind on their faces, seen the real stars, or beheld the real sun? None of them. There might have been one person besides us in this entire mall, if that. There were far more people who haven't experienced it than had, or likely ever will.

  And because they didn't know the difference?

  “What old food do you miss the most?” Neon's question cut through my thoughts, looking up at me as I began to eat again. Miss the most? That was an easy question to answer.

  “Popcorn. Movie popcorn if I'm going to be specific. It just tasted,” I licked my lips at the thought. Putting it into words was impossible. “Delicious.”

  “Really? I wonder if there are any theaters nearby?” Neon scratched her chin, seemingly lost in thought.

  “We passed one on the way here, but I doubt we'll have the time for anything,” Anis shot down. This was a late lunch, and the rail infrastructure between the rest of the Ark and the Outpost was a work in progress.

  As much as I was curious about the place? I didn't want to see how they massacred my boy.

  “Maybe sometime in the future?” I offered up in appeasement. “I haven't seen the inside of one myself so far. It probably isn't all that different though.”

  But that would not stop my curiosity that it might.

  “You haven't? What did Mihara and Yuni do to you? Keep you inside a basement?” Neon asked, a chill going down my spine.

  “The basement is where Yuni and Mihara kept their,” I didn't need Anis’s glare to click my mouth shut like a vice. Neon didn't need to hear that, Anis could read between the lines just fine, and I didn't care to put that back in the forefront of my brain. “Kept their personal stuff. None of my business or concern.”

  “Wait, so why?” Neon tried to get out before Anis stepped in.

  “So how did you meet Exia anyway?” Anis leaned in, hoping to deflect the conversation away from that general mess.

  Granted, she had aimed it at a far different mess, but I was willing to talk about it.

  “During my time working for Missilis, I had a run in with one of their special squads. One that was supposed to be on a tight leash. One that Syuen had started to let slip,” I began, already getting a raised eyebrow from the pair. “I know, I know. Sounds completely out of character for me to care about this, right? Well, one of them had a tattoo. A tattoo that I recognized on her left shoulder.”

  “A pre war tattoo? Is she from then too?” Neon looked at me with big eyes.

  “I don't know about the latter, but the tattoo was from a war game that dominated the market. Specifically one of the fictional deities of the setting,” I said, sketching out the symbol with my finger. “Khorne, the God of Blood and Skulls.”

  “That's an interesting choice for a tattoo,” Anis blinked in surprise, pushing back slightly. “Fitting for a war game, I guess.”

  “Sounds like a mean person,” Neon chimed in, nodding her head. “Mean god, I guess.”

  “Given that Khorne's most known phrases were Blood for the Blood God, Skulls for the Skulk Throne, and Khorne does not care from where the blood flows, only that it does?” Both of them looked a bit queasy after that statement. “Combined with her calling her guns Genocide? Safe to say you're waving around a giant red flag.”

  “That's neat and all, but where does Exia fit into all this?” Anis asked. Patience. Seriously, the background information is important.

  “I was getting to that. Now, I may not like Syuen, but that was still a very big red flag that I wasn't going to ignore. Of course, nobody was going to listen to me either. So I had to convince Wardess to let me go to the data center. Met Exia while trying to see if any old data remained. She helped me find what I was looking for, noticed I'd been digging around in a fair few video game archives, and we've been friends since,” I concluded. It wasn't the most glorious origin of a friendship, but it gave me an actual real friend. It didn't expand much beyond Exia's own limited social circles, but it was better than what I had.

  Which, for the record, was nothing.

  “Wow, you really do remember a lot,” Neon breathed, seemingly excited, but there was something underneath that I couldn't quite place.

  “Ever considered looking to see if any of your family survived? Any friends?” Anis asked, seemingly out of nowhere. I blinked, a bit surprised.

  “I've thought about it a little,” I admitted. It never leads to a good place mentally though. Just a spiral. “The odds just aren't there. Even if one of them did survive? What would I say? I'm the relative or friend of your parents? Your grandparents? No, I think the clean break is best at this point. And it's not like they would be able to recognize me anyway.”

  I wouldn't be able to handle the stress of it all. I just wouldn't.

  “Why wouldn't they be able to recognize you?” Anis asked, while Neon seemed to be lost in thought. Crap, right. Kinda forgot I was still trying to keep that whole thing under wraps.

  “I have a tan, for starters. I'm Irish, so I tend to burn,” I offered, gesturing to my tan, even if Anis's eyebrow raised. “I also have.”

  Looking down, trying to find something else to throw Anis off, there was a detail I noticed. There were a lot of crumbs there. Like. A lot of crumbs. I just kinda stared for a moment.

  “Elen? You okay?” Anis asked as I let out a pained groan, slumping against the table. Filthy, I know. I knew exactly where it had been.

  “Finally figured it out?” There was that stupid little smirk on her face. Though she was no longer on that line of thought, so the mission failed successfully, I guess. With another pained nod, I pushed myself back into a proper sitting position.

  “You know, now that I think about it, I don't remember anything about before I became a Nikke,” Neon said at last, causing us to both turn towards her. “Is that weird?”

  “What? Yes! I don't remember anywhere near as much as Elen does, but I remember a bit!” Anis exclaimed as I frowned. I had no idea how much was supposed to be remembered, given I was an abnormality and all.

  “Neon, I'm very sorry to hear that's the case,” I said, ruffling her hair. As much as I could with her hat in the way. Neon let out a giggle at the gesture.

  I guessed that explained why Neon was so, herself. Might be a question for Ingrid in the future though.

  “Yeah, that's, not great,” Anis seemed a bit awkward. Not that I entirely blamed her. Someone with no memories? “Sorry to hear that too.”

  “Don't you have something about your past too?” Neon looked at Anis as she stared back, a flabbergasted expression on her face.

  “What? No? Why would I have some mysterious background? Between you, Elen, and Rapi, there's more than plenty without me being involved!” Anis declared, standing up in a smooth motion. She was signaling she wanted to leave.

  “Can we get some ice cream?” Neon picked up her tray as well as I chuckled.

  “Of course we can,” ice cream was a treat I preferred before all. Even if it lacked most of the other ingredients.

  “What? No, we don't need to stop for ice cream!” Anis shot down as I smirked slightly.

  “But she's missing her memories, Anis! Neon deserves to have some ice cream,” I teased, a grin on my face.

  “Yeah, I'm missing my memories,” Neon followed up, sensing my intent.

  “You two are impossible!”

  I don't think I was the team building exercise I expected it to be, but I do think I understood them a bit better now.

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  “Oh, Elen, I got you something!” I blinked as we were about to step into the command center of the Outpost. Neon was digging through one of her bags, letting out a little noise of glee when she found it. “Here it is!”

  In her hands she held a hat. A small, blue, military style beret. I took it, slowly. I was not a hat person. Tilly hats, yes. Stocking caps? Yes. But just about everything else was normally a no.

  Part of me wanted to gently reject the offer. But Neon was giving me one of my many weaknesses. Puppy dog eyes.

  “Thank you Neon. That's very kind of you,” I said, placing it atop my head as she clapped.

  “Now we all match!” Neon declared happily, making me realize that she meant for this to be part of my uniform proper. Great, now I was going to be worried about losing it, wasn't I?

  “That's cute and all, but could you please not do it in the doorway?” Anis slipped by us, ignoring the little moment entirely. Maybe I teased her a bit too much about getting ice cream. I was about to follow her through. Before she let out a gasp of surprise.

  If nothing else that got the two of us moving, entering the building before our eyes fell upon what had taken Anis by surprise.

  “Shifty, what are you doing here?” Neon got the words out before I could. Shifty was sitting at the meeting room table, alongside Johnson and Rapi.

  “Hi guys,” Shifty waved politely, but with her squared shoulders and fidgeting, tension dozed off her body like sludge. “I really wanted to talk about yesterday's mission in person.”

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  Getting further ahead in Nikke’s campaign was actually extremely helpful in writing this chapter.