So, turns out, the evidence planted by the Resistance was unnecessary.

  After a short investigation of eye witnesses to a visible burst of energy in the Circuit City spawnpoint about a minute after the explosion, they found out that the flash was actually in two parts. The second was me getting the fuck out of there.

  The first was me completing the Wealth of the Joulelands quest. I can’t even blame anyone. As it also turns out, it really was a bad idea not to move until I got paid.

  It’s been over a week, and this is the first time I’ve found a monastery not absolutely swarming with Kingdom soldiers. Not that I don’t think I can take them. But what if Azileth is in there? One look from him within targeting range, and I’m fucked.

  Landing right in front of the blue man minding his own business, I’m surprised by his lack of freaking the fuck out at my jump-scare.

  Instead, he just asks the obvious. “Why are you here?”

  Okay, so I knew this was coming. It’s one of the few things I learned listening to the other SWA members blabber on the train.

  Still, despite having rehearsed my answer to this very question, or a version of it, I still find myself having to script the whole thing out in my head before I say it. Thankfully, I have all the time in the world between moments. “I’m here because I want to be. Now, before you reply, just know there’s a zen-like state inherent to both extremes of my attitude, and the polar opposite that you likely deal with on a daily basis. It is, ironically, the same. Just consumption, consumption, consumption.”

  I cough. “Fuck. I mean, that is, living moment-to-moment. No concerns, consideration, responsibility, or any of that. A path to enlightenment lies in giving that all up. But, as usual, there are many ways to walk it. Another, indeed infinite others, start in the opposite direction. But make no mistake… The destination is the same.”

  I nearly break into a cold sweat trying not to break into a cold sweat. It all depends on this… Did he buy my bullshit? I can practically feel the clamminess of my face by the time he breaks the silence.

  But he eventually does. “I see… I don’t believe you. But your words hold a kernel of truth. Not in the destination. Just being a slob all the time will never result in enlightenment. But the discarding of worldly concerns truly is an important step along the path. And one you have clearly taken if half the things I’ve heard about you are true. Assuming this lackadaisical nature of yours isn’t an act…”

  Fuckfuckfuckfuck. “Um… No?” I’m practically hyperventilating now. I really don’t have a plan for if he doesn’t let me through. And these guys work on some kind of hive mind or something, so I might really be fucked.

  The monk responds in what, to me, seems like fast-forward. “Not even the slightest disturbance to your breathing… Is it possible you don’t even care whether I let you through?”

  After ten subjective minutes, I instantly shrug in the best impression of a relaxed person I can manage. “What will be, will be.”

  He blinks. “Very well. You may pass.”

  “That’s… Right! I’m glad you see things my way.”

  The monk sighs. “I do not. But I also cannot say that your path is unworthy of walking. And for that reason, if nothing else… You may pass.”

  I… Wow. Alright. Not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth over here.

  “Except…”

  Damn it.

  “Tell me, in your own words…” He snaps his finger and a six-colored lightning bolt touches down not two feet away. “How did I do that?”

  “That’s… A Power Blessing, probably? I guess it could be a Skill, but-”

  “No, no, you are correct after a fashion. Be more specific.”

  What in the fuck is he on about now? Thankfully, I have all the time I need to scramble for an answer to the impromptu interview question. “You were granted that power by Fulgora, same as me. Same as anyone who can use Attunement energy beyond a simple vault or dash.”

  “But what is Attunement Energy?”

  “What? What do you mean? It’s elemental power. Or rather, the power of the Apexes. Which are elementals. It’s all pretty simple so I really don’t know what you’re getting at.”

  “Skills can do that too.”

  “Skills are different. Obviously.”

  After a moment, he sighs. “Technically correct. And technically the answer I was looking for. You don’t seem to truly grasp the concepts at play, but you’ve clearly thought about it enough for my purposes.” At that, he snaps his fingers once more.

  A heretofore unseen yellow bubble materializes around me even as it shatters.

  [ PATH QUEST COMPLETED: PRESTIGE OF THE JOULELANDS ]

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  I mean… Huh… Actually, that reminds me. “Hey so this might sound totally random, but I was in a dungeon and I came across this weird yellow energy barrier that I couldn’t get through no matter what I tried. Behind it was… Something. I don’t even know what. Like the dungeon just transitioned into a different, way older dungeon. Not sure if there were any monsters or loot in there, but… Does that ring any bells?”

  The monk’s eyes widen as I speak. “Most people spend their entire lives here without coming across True Ruins.”

  “‘True’ Ruins?” Flashbacks of… No, it can’t possibly have anything to do with Oneshot. I hope…

  “Surely you’ve noticed ruins lying around here and there?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, did any of those look like what you just described?”

  “You mean the squared-off corners and crazy hieroglyphics covering everything inside the barrier? Yeah, I thought that was weird. And no, none of the other ruins I’ve seen were anything like that.”

  “Well, there you go. True Ruins are the ones like you saw. And you say it still had power?”

  “They both did, yeah.”

  The monk seems surprised. “Both?”

  Not like I had much else to do this last week but splatter lava all over the walls of every dungeon I came across. “Yeah, both. Finding the second one was what made me think it was a common enough thing to ask about.”

  “I see… You were right and wrong in equal measure. True Ruins are not common knowledge. Most people you ask would have no idea what you’re talking about. But, as you can see-” He gestures all around himself. “I am not most people. And I do know a thing or two.”

  I’m almost starting to feel hopeful. “Well, good.”

  “Even still, they’re an obscure topic in this day and age. In fact, I’ve already told you all I know.”

  Aaand there goes the other shoe. “Well, that’s just fucking great…”

  He bursts out laughing. “Oh my! I must say, you are a breath of much fresher air than those palace guards implied.”

  I freeze, scanning everything around me for several minutes before completing my twirl to find nothing resembling an ambush. “Eh? What now?”

  “Oh don’t worry. I think you’ll find those of us who follow the Divine Apexes are less than enthusiastic about the aristocratic meddlings of the fleas on their backs. They wanted us to detain you the moment you showed up, you know.”

  “I… I mean I suspected, but… Why would you tell me this.”

  “Because I hate them. We all do. Those of us devoted to our Paths above all else, at any rate.”

  “Wait, hold on, you were just being a dick to me. What’s with the switcharound?”

  “Your answers to my questions, while technically acceptable, had the air of rehearsal. Something you might say in a test, only to put it entirely out of your mind once submitted.”

  “So what changed?”

  “You began speaking to me like a person. And now that I have something approaching a measure of your personality, I must say, I prefer it over the sycophants who were bothering me all week until only yesterday. Part of why I’m neglecting to bar your way as they asked. Well, they didn’t quite ‘ask’. Just another reason I neglect to acquiesce.”

  “Oh wow, that’s… Nice of you?”

  “A little unbelievable, isn’t it? I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t dish like this if I thought it had any chance of getting back to the fleas themselves. They’re capable of making my life quite hard, after all. But something tells me you won’t go taddling.”

  I snort. “Good guess.”

  He leans in to whisper. “Just between us… Fuck them.” He shivers. “I do wish I could say that word as freely as you do. Admittedly, I may have gone a bit easy on you once I found out how you treat the slur like ketchup on the french fries of everyday conversation.” He shakes his head. “Even that asinine metaphor leapt to mind within a minute of meeting you. The filthy mouth of a True Prophet is honestly so much more cathartic than I would’ve expected. Perhaps that was why I couldn’t help my good mood throughout your judgment.”

  “I… I mean thanks? But… ‘True Prophet’? That has the air of a proper noun. Or am I fucking that up too?”

  “It means you came by your prophet status by simply being yourself. No study, or devotion, or even particular attention to what you were doing. You are one who paves your own path, utterly convinced that it is the correct one. Not for everyone. But for you. Here’s something that few understand… A Path is not prescribed. It may be adopted from one another has paved. Or it may be paved anew. But there are the rare few who go a step further. To not only pave anew, but do so without so much as a foundation. In midair, even. If anyone tried to adopt it themselves, they would merely fall.”

  “Thanks again? For the compliment and all. I’m not sure what you’re getting at though. I just wanted lightning powers, got lightning powers, and rolled with it.”

  He gives a solemn, yet sarcastic nod. “And your breathing is an accident, is it?” He smirks at my involuntary wince. “I’ll admit I was misled at first. But your breath rate has not altered in the slightest since we began talking. That simply cannot be a product of conviction or assurity or anything so mundane. You have fundamentally altered the nature of your relationship with the universe.”

  “I… I see. Well, you’re not wrong-”

  “And that your CLASS and CRAFT are both Anime of all things. That might be even less orthodox than the breathing, come to think of it.”

  I really feel like I shouldn’t tell him how I basically stumbled into all of that. “Oh. I see.” I’m lying.

  He smiles warmly. “Alright, off with you, True Prophet Jessie. The… I would venture a guess that you do not have that Title by choice, yes?”

  “You would be correct.”

  He nods knowingly. “As I thought. Well, off with you all the same. Wouldn’t want my blathering to keep you here long enough for the fleas to come back.”

  Nodding myself, I send him a friend request and promptly get the fuck out of there. “Go.”

  [ PATH QUEST COMPLETE: SECOND STEP ]

  [ NEW PATH QUEST: POWER OF COULOMBERG — DESCRIPTION: OBTAIN 2,097,152 XP WITHIN THE BOUNDS OF COULOMBERG — FAILURE: COMPLETE WEALTH OF COULOMBERG ]

  [ NEW PATH QUEST: WEALTH OF COULOMBERG — DESCRIPTION: OBTAIN 2,097,152 HSD WITHIN THE BOUNDS OF COULOMBERG — FAILURE: COMPLETE POWER OF COULOMBERG ]

  [ NEW PATH QUEST: FAME OF COULOMBERG — DESCRIPTION: VISIT AT LEAST 12.5% OF ALL CITIES AND TOWNS IN COULOMBERG ]

  [ NEW PATH QUEST: THIRD STEP — DESCRIPTION: COMPLETE FAME OF COULOMBERG AND EITHER POWER OF COULOMBERG OR WEALTH OF COULOMBERG — REWARD 1: ADVANCE TO FOURTH STEP — REWARD 2: WATTOPIA ACCESS ]