47. Dogma

  In the end, I hired six priests, but it was the fourth one that asked the important question that had been overlooked so far.

  “And what do we tell the Majeeshans who are worshiping you?” she had inquired.

  And I blinked at her in confusion. “The Majeeshans are worshiping me?” I asked.

  “Yes. With almost as much fervor as they are worshiping Matla, now that she has worked her miracles, made herself known and manifest and named a priest,” the woman informed me. Her name was Kait, she informed me that she was twenty-nine years old when asked, and I promptly appointed her as the head priest of my foundling religion.

  Her cultivation wasn’t impressive, having been a mortal scholar before the world changed, but she was still about to enter the bronze realm, so it wasn’t completely pathetic either.

  “I need you to cultivate,” I informed her. “You’re too smart and useful to die young. I hereby command you to come to me when you’re experiencing a bottleneck.”

  She ticked her head. “Yeah, okay, if you insist. But honestly, I’m in on the gimmick. I get it, your legend got away from you and you need help managing it. I’m not a true believer, but you need a few heretics in your flock to keep the worst from happening.”

  “And what’s the worst that can happen?”

  “As the god of a religion?” she asked, her eyebrows rose. “You could make an offhand joke and spark a war, for one. Or you could accidentally outlaw shellfish. You could justify barbarism or genocide if all you have are loyal followers who hang on your every word.”

  I nodded.

  “Okay. I hereby command you to spend eight hours a day cultivating until you reach the silver path,” I said seriously. “If you reach any bottlenecks, let me know and I’ll help you break through them. You are way too useful to let die young.”

  “What about the golden path?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “I’m not going to give you a dao impartment, and that’s what it would take to help you overcome that bottleneck. The winners of the tournament so far have been easy. The amount of myself that the gold and diamond rank impartment will require is far more significant.”

  She shrugged. “I guess I wouldn’t know anything about that. I just studied the ancient records, so I know what happens when things go wrong. You get cults like the Cult of Reincarnation, and then they get purged by the true believers of the primary religion, and unrest spreads and atrocities happen. It’s in the histories plain as day, but most people never read them. I copied them over to preserve the past, so that’s how I know.”

  “Your dao is deep and honorable,” I told her seriously. “I hereby change my mind. If you request it, I’ll give you a dao impartment.”

  Kait blinked at me. “So why does it sound like you’re more interested in me being a cultivator than a priest?”

  “Because I’m more interested in being a cultivator than a god,” I admitted. “And I don’t want to replace my sect elders every twenty years when they could last two thousand.”

  She nodded in understanding. “It would give me a certain level of gravitas to have served you for a century or two. Okay, I consent.”

  So I split off a piece of myself and imbued it into her, just as I had for the children of the tournament so far.

  Once that was out of the way, we discussed in greater detail the Majeeshan religion that was being founded.

  They loved Atla, the boy eidolon, as they thought that he was the embodiment of kindness. They loved Matla, as she was the one who made them whole. They loved Aetla, for she was the one who told on Atla and got Matla to fix his mess. And they loved me, because I crushed the tower that they had been climbing pointlessly and brought them to this world of freedom.

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  Or some of them did, at least. Others cursed my name and called me a demon.

  They were not entirely wrong, for I had unleashed a demon on the top level of the tower. One with no limits and no restraints save one. If Kuto had slain my dao avatar during that fight, I shudder to think of the consequences for the universe.

  And I decided to make that part of my myth.

  “Tell the Majeeshans that I said it was not just their Lord Kuto whom I faced at the summit of the tower,” I instructed her. “Tell her that I faced the evil within myself. That I crushed their tower, but I could not crush that part of me. I could only bury it deep within myself, so deep that it can only be brought out with a conscious act of will. And that if I ever bring it out again, then it will mean either certain victory, or utter defeat. For myself, for my allies, and for my enemies, all together.”

  “Are you certain you want them to know this?” Kait asked.

  “Yes,” I said. “I need them to know the truth about how close I came to destroying Majeesha itself, and all of them along with it. And I don’t even know what else.”

  “It sounds like a fearsome technique.”

  “Yes. I fear it. What does that say about it?” I asked her.

  “That I should fear it as well,” she answered promptly.

  “A Majeeshan would say that the enemy would fear it.”

  “Give them a few decades where they’re not literally trying to climb to the next floor to receive an extra pad of butter on their bread and they’ll come around,” she assured me, winking playfully.

  I sighed, because I didn’t feel like joking with her.

  Eventually, over the course of three days, we established my canon law. I liked Toorah’s version of my origin myth, so I had the priests record it and make it canon. Everything else strove down to ‘Strive not to be evil. Strive to do good. Strive to bring forth good things into the world, and strive to better yourself as well.”

  The tournament waited on my word, and finally I announced that I was satisfied.

  And I showed up Matla’s production just a bit when I did it.

  Utilizing the Xian Bond, I formed a technique that allowed my voice to echo throughout my sovereign territory. Every man, woman, and child on the planet heard the words I spoke, save only the very heaviest of sleepers on the far continent on Atla’s butt.

  “Hello, children of Atla. My name is Little Bug. You may also know me as Worldfather, but my that is my Title and not my Name. It has come to my attention recently that some of you have been worshiping me as a deity. After considering your reasons for doing so carefully and for some time, I have decided that you are not wrong to do so. But if you choose to see me as merely a very powerful cultivator, then I shall respect your beliefs as well.

  “I have codified my expectations of those who wish to worship me. I do not believe that they are particularly onerous, but I shall allow you to investigate these requirements to call yourself my devotees if that is something that you wish to do yourself. I shall not force my religion upon you.

  “I have always strove towards harmony in this life. If you pray to me, do not pray for violence upon others. Do not wish ill upon others. Do not wish for material wealth, gain, or petty things like sex. I cannot grant you those things. Instead, wish for me to show you the courage, the wisdom, and the virtue that resides within you. If your prayers to me help you find those things, then I welcome you into my church.”

  And with those words, I went silent. Aetla popped up, looking annoyed.

  “Show-off,” she said.

  I grinned and mussed her braided hair. “So are you Aetla all of the time now, or—”

  “No, the stupid Majeeshans just liked Atla better so I had to show them that girls are good at things too,” she explained. “But they got it mixed up and I don’t know how to fix it.”

  “I tried to warn you,” I said. “There’s a reason I didn’t want to be a god.”

  “But people pray to you,” he objected.

  “Yes, Atla. But unlike you, I only hear them if they’re standing right next to me,” I explained.

  He frowned. Then his eyes went wide as he came to a sudden realization about the limits of my powers.

  “Oh,” was all he said.

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