Virelai watched Ren turn the deer leg over the fire. Fat dripped down into the flames and sizzled. Even though she was using her wind to redirect the smoke out of the entrance, it did nothing for the smell. The scent of cooking meat filled the cave, intermingling with the stench of dragon.
After providing them with food, their hosts had disappeared into the night, leaving the two of them alone in the cave.
They hadn’t said much to each other since the dragon’s revelation, which was fine by her. She hadn’t yet made up her mind about what she would choose. At first, she would have said they should look for the spell, but after hearing the elves could lose their magic altogether, she wasn’t sure anymore. Magic was a way of life for the elves. It had been terrible to feel it slowly waning without their queen, so it was hard to imagine what it would be like without any at all.
If they didn’t do this, however, it was likely the shadow creature in Sterling would destroy not only their world, but others as well. It was either find the spell and use it to transfer the magic to another vessel, hoping for the best, or attempt to eliminate the contaminated source.
Virelai sighed. There were no good choices as far as she could see.
Ren glanced up from the fire. “Everything all right?” he asked.
Virelai gave him a look.
“Sorry. Should have said, is there some new problem?”
“No,” she said flatly.
“Well, I think dinner is ready,” Ren said, hoisting the meat off the flames.
“You think? Or you’re sure? I’m not eating raw meat.”
“You could always ask one of the dragons to crisp it up for you if my cooking isn’t good enough.”
“Maybe I would if they hadn’t abandoned us to do whatever it is dragons do at night.”
“They’ll be back eventually. Here.” Ren passed her a smaller stick with a piece of meat skewered on it.
She wrinkled her nose as she studied it. This was not her first choice of meal, but seeing as to how their horses had run away with their packs, she could either eat this or starve.
Ren blew on his own piece before taking a bite.
“Not bad,” he said after he finished chewing. A bit of grease had run down his chin, but he didn’t seem to notice.
Virelai tested a small piece and found he was right. It really wasn’t bad. A few minutes later, she polished off the rest on her stick.
“Tomorrow, we can look for our horses and head back to the Seelie Court,” Ren said.
Virelai set aside her stick and leaned away from the fire. It had grown a bit too warm for her liking. “Why can’t we ask the dragons to take us back? It’ll be faster.”
“I’d rather not. Besides, wouldn’t want to have Wisteria upset with you if you show up without her horse.” He gave her that half-smile that made something flutter in her chest.
“And it has nothing at all to do with your fear of flying,” she said.
He shook his head, the firelight dancing over his features. “Absolutely not.”
“Don’t forget time is not on our side,” she reminded him.
Ren’s smile dropped. “I know. The spell is not going to be easy to find. It’s likely not even in this world.”
“You are in favor of the spell then?”
“Are you not?”
She answered his question with another question. “Would you take the risk of losing your magic?”
Ren snorted.“In a heartbeat. If I could use the spell on myself, I would.”
“You would miss it.”
“No,” he said, leaning forward to poke at the fire. “I don’t think I would. It has never done me any favors. If anything, it has destroyed the life I could have had and brought me nothing but misery.”
“How so?”
Ren didn’t look at her as he listed off the ways his life might have been different.
Virelai was aghast by the time he was finished. “They did that to you?”
He finally glanced up and met her eyes. “Like I said, I wouldn’t miss it if my magic was gone.”
A spray of embers shot into the air between them.
Virelai was silent as she thought about what magic had done for her. Was her own life all that different from Ren’s? Magic had destroyed her family, but it had also saved her. If she hadn’t had her wind, she would still be locked in a room by her father. No, worse, she’d be married to Harloth. Was it truly magic that had destroyed her family or was it her father’s quest for power? Magic was only a means of getting more power.
“Oh no,” she breathed.
Ren stared at her, waiting for her to explain.
“Do you think the Winter Queen already knows about this spell? Is that how she got my father to work for her? Maybe she didn’t promise him control of worlds, but more magic.”
“Or she intends to transfer the magic to herself?” Ren said grimly. “The faeries were cursed by the gods to lose most of their abilities, were they not?”
Virelai nodded. It wasn’t that the Winter Queen was interested in the shadow creature at all. She was interested in obtaining the elves’ magic. “That must be why they haven’t done anything with Sterling yet. They don’t have the spell, and if Sterling were to die before they get it, they’d have to start over, finding the new vessel the magic chose.”
“Easier to put her on the throne and keep an eye on her than find a replacement,” Ren said. “It makes sense.”
“We don’t have a choice. We need to get that spell before they do. Even if we don’t use it, we have to make sure they never can.”
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“I agree,” Ren said. “The sooner, the better. Forget returning to the Seelie Court to alert the others. We need to start the search now. We need to go to the human world. After we find our horses, we will head for the portal. We can figure out some way to get a message to the others on the way.” Ren picked up a longer branch and jabbed at the fire, sending more sparks shooting up.
“What makes you think the spell will be in the human world?” she asked. She called a cooling wind to wrap around and ward off some of the fire’s warmth.
Ren stopped poking and looked at her. “What better place to hide it than among mostly non-magical beings? It’s a dangerous spell, but most humans wouldn’t know what to do with it. Besides if there is a chance the mages already have it and don’t know what it is, it could be in their collection.”
“I suppose,” she said reluctantly. “But if the elves were the ones to hide the spell, I’m not sure they would trust it to stay safe with the humans.”
“Why not? Why not have it as far away from those who might give in to temptation and use it? Maybe whoever hid it wanted it as far away and as inaccessible as possible.”
“Fine. You have a point, and if it was the elves who hid it, we are the ones who control the portals. Or at least, we did.”
“So it is settled then. Tomorrow, we will head for the portal.” Ren threw the branch he’d been using to poke at the fire into the flames and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“And then? After we cross, where will we go?” She knew next to nothing about the human world. The prospect of wandering around it blindly did not appeal to her.
“We will seek out some old friends of mine and see what they know. Then we’ll get access to the collection and check that too.”
The way Ren said ‘friends’ made Virelai think they weren’t, in fact, friends at all.
“Now, let’s go have that meal, shall we?” the Winter Queen said as if she and Sterling had finished discussing the weather or some other mundane topic. She turned in a swirl of silvery skirts and walked away without looking back.
Sterling trailed behind her, trying to work out what all of this meant. For one moment, she’d thought the voices hadn’t been caused by something she’d done—that it wasn’t her fault she was like this.
The Winter Queen had dashed that hope as quick as it had come on. If the Winter Queen hadn’t done anything to make her this way, then it meant she was still the broken one. Some deficiency in her was what had allowed the shadow creature to take hold.
Maybe the Winter Queen was wrong.
Sterling held on to this last thought. The Winter Queen might believe she’d made a harmless potion, but that didn’t mean Gavaran or someone else had used it. Gavaran may appear to be devoted to his fae Queen, but appearances could be deceiving. He certainly wasn’t thrilled about her presence in Nyrene, so it was entirely possible he hadn’t followed the Winter Queen’s previous instructions and had plans of his own. She had no idea if mages made potions, but she would find out.
“Sit, sit,” the Winter Queen gestured to a plush green cushion in front of a low table. She settled onto her own deep purple cushion, tucking her skirts around her.
Once Sterling was seated, the faery clicked her fingers and a stream of dishes appeared, carried by small creatures resembling vegetables. Sterling tried not to stare, but she couldn’t help it. Of all the things she’d seen in the Unseelie Court, these creatures were by far the strangest.
Plate after plate was set on the table. Roasted meats, vegetables, nuts, fruits, and cheeses of every variety soon littered the surface.
“Will there be others joining us?” Sterling asked, eyeing the plethora of food. It was enough to feed a village.
The Winter Queen smiled, leaning forward to pluck a ripe red berry from one of the bowls. “Of course not. I thought the two of us would eat alone. I’m sure you have questions.” She took a bite of the berry, its red juice staining her lips.
Sterling watched the Queen eat the rest of the fruit and pat a napkin against her mouth, but she didn’t touch any of the food herself. Her stomach was tied in knots.
“Help yourself,” the faery said. It wasn’t a suggestion. “I promise everything is delicious. I serve my guests nothing but the best.”
Under the Winter Queen’s watchful eye, Sterling reached for a dish of glazed carrots and dumped a spoonful on her plate. Then she selected a slice of roasted meat and a handful of small purple berries. Last, she added a wedge of hard yellow cheese. None of it sounded good to her, but she forced herself to lift a fork to her mouth and chew to keep the faery happy. It may have been delicious, but every bite was like sand on her tongue.
After a few mouthfuls, she set her fork down again and asked the question that had been plaguing her.
“How do you know?”
“Know what?” the Winter Queen asked. Her eyes said she knew exactly what Sterling was asking.
Sterling shoved down the instinct to snap back like she would if she were speaking to a servant.
“How do you know about the voices?” she asked. The Winter Queen hadn’t said it in so many words, but it was obvious she knew of their existence.
The Winter Queen’s smile turned sharp. “I’m old, Sterling. Older than you can probably comprehend. I’ve seen things. I’ve seen this.” She flicked a hand between them.
“You can see the future?”
The Queen’s brow wrinkled in distaste. “No, of course not. I wouldn’t bother with the messy business of keeping a seer if I could. I’m saying I’ve seen this before. Do you think you are the first to experience this? You’re not. I watch and I wait, and I manipulate you to see what you will do, but it always ends in the same way. You all are just little puppets playing out the same thing over and over, going back to the same ending. You never break away from your fate no matter how I or anyone else places you.”
Sterling shook her head. “I don’t understand. What does this have to do with the voices?”
“Everything. You aren’t strong enough to hold the magic, and when you aren’t strong enough, it burns you up in whatever way it can. In your case, you hear voices. I presume they tell you to do things. Terrible things.”
Sterling pressed her lips together.
“I thought so. These are things you want to do, but you know you shouldn’t. With the voices, you can blame them. They made you do it. It was never your idea. Your conscience is absolving you of the blame.”
“But how is that going to burn me out?”
The Winter Queen popped another berry into her mouth and chewed slowly. Finally, she said, “You have used magic to carry out the things the voices have told you to do, yes?”
Sterling remained silent. There had been magic involved, but she wasn’t always the wielder. It had been the voices. They had taken control. She hadn’t even been able to get her own body to respond to her commands.
“And you’ve felt the effects?”
She had. When she’d attacked Cylan, she was drained for days, but Kai had told her that was normal. When you used more magic that you were used to working with or if you tried to use more than your abilities would allow, it took a toll.
“So then this is the magic’s fault?” Sterling asked. She wasn’t sure she was quite following the Winter Queen’s logic. Faeries could not lie, but they could manipulate the truth. Sterling had a feeling that’s what the Winter Queen was doing now. She just didn’t know enough to tease apart what was real and what was not.
“In a way. Magic is not good or evil. It simply is. It wants to be used and will encourage you to do so in whatever way it can.”
She made it sound like magic was a living entity, but that wasn’t at all the way Kai had described it to her. Then again, the shadow creature talked to her, and if it was made of magic, then perhaps the Winter Queen was correct.
“Is that your way of saying I am the evil one because the magic got me to perform bad deeds? And what about the shadows? I know they can be seen in my eyes.”
The Winter Queen ignored her first question. “You can think of the shadows like a stain on your soul. We all have some black marks. You have more than others.”
Seraiah had the marks on her neck, and Ren had them on his hands. What had either of them done to earn these so-called stains on their souls, Sterling wondered.
She picked up her fork and poked at the food on her plate. “Is there a way to erase the stains?”
“Perhaps if the magic were removed,” the Winter Queen said.
Sterling’s eyes snapped up from her plate. “Removed? I thought the elves’ magic only passed on to the next host when the previous one died. Are you saying I have to die to get rid of it?”
The Winter Queen gave her a pitying look. “That is one way.”
Sterling let her fork fall with a clatter and shoved her plate away. “I think I would like to return to Nyrene now.”
“But there might exist another way,” the Winter Queen said as if she hadn’t spoken.
“And what is that?”
“There is a spell to transfer magic from one host to another. To my knowledge, it has never been tried before, so it may not work, but if it did, it would almost certainly solve your shadow problem and the voices too. There is one other small problem,” she added before Sterling could speak. “I do not possess the spell. I only know of it.”
Sterling frowned. “Then how am I supposed to get it? If you don’t have it, do you know where it is?”
“There was a rumor that it was hidden in a book that’s been passed down through the generations of royal elves. As far as I know, none have yet discovered if this is true, but being of the royal line yourself, perhaps you might know of it.”
Sterling’s mouth went dry. There was only one book she’d ever been given, and it was no longer in her possession.

