Seraiah forced herself not to look back as she hurried toward Ren’s cabin and let herself inside. She didn’t need to rush to check on her father, but she had to get away from Kai before he asked any more questions about her visions. She knew Kestrel must have planted the idea of her being hurt from her visions in hopes that it would create the perfect opportunity for Seraiah to tell Kai about the madness. However, Kai had interpreted Kestrel’s warning as Sterling doing something to hurt her. Seraiah could have told him the truth, but she wasn’t ready. She didn’t have the right words to explain it, and her conversation with Ren had left her distracted.

  Why couldn’t Ren have brushed off her concern? Did he also believe they might become the shadow thing’s puppets, or was this some kind of manipulation to benefit himself? And was Kai right about Sterling’s magic being able to be used against her in a dream? She hadn’t had a chance to ask her mother if she could interact with her visions, and it wasn’t like she could pay her mother another visit after her last trip to the Unseelie Court. Was it something the Summer King might know the answer to, or was she on her own?

  Seraiah was giving herself a headache.

  She rubbed the bridge of her nose and surveyed the room. Ren and Virelai were nowhere to be seen while Kestrel and Eryx stood in the corner by the fireplace, heads bent together over a piece of parchment. They must be planning tomorrow’s journey. She briefly wondered if Kestrel had told Eryx about her madness, but decided she likely hadn’t. She’d promised to keep it to herself for now, and Kestrel could be trusted to keep her word—other than those hints she’d fed to Kai.

  Seraiah found her father still sitting in the same spot at the table, forehead leaned against his good hand. Wisteria sat with him, wobbling her chair back and forth and casting glances between Kestrel and Eryx and the open doorway of the bedroom.

  Seraiah crossed the space and put a hand on the back of Wisteria’s chair, stopping her rocking.

  The girl’s head jerked around.

  “Everything all right?” Seraiah asked. “Are you settling in?”

  “Fine. Everything is fine,” Wisteria said brightly. There was a bit too much force in her smile for Seraiah to believe her, but who was she to point it out? No one in this group was fine. They all had something to worry over.

  “And how are you doing, Papa? Is your arm bothering you?”

  Before he could respond, Wisteria jumped up from her chair. “Here. You sit and the two of you can talk. I’ll go see about sleeping arrangements. We can’t all sleep in the one bed. Something must be figured out. I’ll see to it.”

  “Thank you,” Seraiah said, watching Wisteria back away until she reached the door to the outside.

  Wisteria had always been talkative, but now there was a nervousness about her. Seraiah couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of something she had said or done. She supposed proposing to murder her own sister might have been enough.

  “She’s a nice girl,” Papa said, drawing Seraiah out of her thoughts. “She’s been taking care of me and making sure I change the dressing on the wound. I think she feels bad about the infection, but it’s not her fault. She did the best she could under the circumstances.”

  Seraiah had heard the story from Wisteria on their journey of how she’d found the camp of humans, encountered Seraiah’s father, and crafted a plan of escape. Her father had been injured in the process, and Wisteria had nothing but a dirty scrap of cloth to bind the wound. She’d tried to fix it when they arrived at the house where Virelai had been hiding them, but the damage had already been done.

  “Why didn’t you search for her?” Seraiah asked. She hadn’t come in here intending to have this conversation, but she’d already had several difficult conversations today, so what was one more?

  If the change in topic surprised her father, he didn’t show it. “For a lot of reasons. Not good ones, I’m afraid.” He sighed and seemed to grow older before her eyes.

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  “Did you know about my mother and her visions? Is that why you didn’t look for Sterling?”

  “That was different, and yes, I knew about Ashe’s dreams,” he said. There was a fondness in his voice when he said her name. “She didn’t always tell me what they were, but I’d known they foretold the future just as yours did.”

  “Did you know she was alive?”

  His brows shot up, and he leaned toward her, wincing when he hit his injured arm on the table. “She’s alive? I thought . . .when she didn’t come back . . .” he said haltingly. “Where is she?”

  Seraiah ignored the question. “Is that why you told me she was dead? Because she didn’t come back?” She’d only told Kestrel, Ren, and Kai about her mother, and even then they only knew pieces about her visit with Ashe.

  “I’m sorry, Seraiah. I thought it would be easier. I thought when she didn’t come back that she was dead. You have to understand, she left in the middle of the night. Her note said she’d gone searching for answers about her dreams, and that she would return when she found them. After a year went by without a word, I assumed the worst.”

  “And you didn’t try to search for her like you didn’t search for Sterling.” Seraiah tried to keep the accusation from her voice, but it still slipped through.

  “That was different.” He fisted his good hand on the tabletop. Seraiah knew his frustration wasn’t directed at her, but at himself.

  “I thought many times about searching for Ashe, but I had you. I couldn’t take a baby on that kind of journey, and what was the alternative? Leave you with someone? Hope that they would care for you as their own because your parents had abandoned you?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t do that. I made a choice. You were my choice, and when Ashe didn’t return and you asked about your mother, yes, I told you she was dead.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me about my dreams? If you knew they were visions of the future, why didn’t you explain that to me, at least?”

  “Ashe didn’t wish for you to know. You have to understand these dreams plagued her. Most of the time, they were not pleasant, or so she led me to believe. She also told me her father was taken when she was a young child because of them. She didn’t want you to suffer, and believed it better if you didn’t know. It was the only other thing she’d written in her note. I honored her request because I had seen her suffering, and I didn’t want that for you either.”

  Ashe had said something similar when Seraiah had asked. She’d said if she’d never returned, then Seraiah would never know about her gift and the madness. She would be safe and happy.

  Her parents had thought they’d been doing what was best for her and yet they’d both been wrong.

  “Tell me about Jensira and Sterling. What did you know about them?”

  “Your step-mother—”

  “I know you weren’t married. I know she wasn’t really my step-mother. Just as Sterling was never really my sister.” She hated saying those words. She’d hated hearing those words from Sterling, but that didn’t make it any less true.

  “How? Did she tell you this?”

  “No. Sterling told me. Jensira let it slip to her once, and then Sterling told me when she was questioning if she had any real family. What was your true arrangement? Did you know they were elves?”

  Papa nodded. “After we met them in the market that day, you remember the story?”

  “I do. I dreamed of them and said Sterling was my new sister.”

  “Yes, well after Jensira learned of this, she explained who she was. She asked for my help. They needed a place to hide because they were in danger, but she never told me what that danger was.”

  “But then Jensira caught the blood fever. Did you know she made me promise to protect Sterling—to make sure they didn’t take her?”

  He shook his head. “She never said anything of the sort to me, either. Only that there was a danger coming for them. The reason I agreed to the arrangement was because she’d promised to help find where Ashe had gone. I never did learn anything, and then Jensira passed, and I couldn’t throw Sterling out. She was still so young, and you’d grown close. When years went by with no sign of the danger Jensira had feared, I assumed we would be all right. Then Sterling was taken and . . .”

  Seraiah waited for him to finish.

  “I was a coward. I let my fear get the best of me. I thought since I hadn’t been able to keep Sterling safe, I could at least keep you safe from this unknown danger by not searching.” Papa buried his face in his hands. “It was a mistake. I should have done something—I should have—”

  “There was nothing you could have done. Not against those who had taken her, and not against what was growing inside of her. What happened has happened. What matters now is what we do going forward.” Seraiah meant the words for him as much as herself. She pushed her chair back and stood.

  Papa looked up at her with red, watery eyes.

  “Thank you for telling me all this.” She dug around in her pocket and pulled out the small carving knife she’d taken from home. “I believe this is yours,” she said, sliding it across the table to him. “Maybe when your arm is better, you can use it again.” It was as much of a peace offering as she could give him.

  Seraiah returned her hand to her pocket, clutching the horse figurine. In time, she hoped she might forgive him, but she knew even if she didn’t, she’d never look at him the same again.