"All Your Trees Will Be My Forest"
Vantaiga sat atop her mountain stronghold. From here, she had a commanding view of her domain, from the rock platform below where she first claimed divinity, to the lush sea of the green canopy of leaves surrounding her, to the grey horizon of forest fires burning unchecked in the distance. Ever since Syffox had informed her of the army of demons amassing in the steppes beyond the forest, nausea churned in her stomach.
It fermented in her night and day and gave no sign of respite. She focused on slow, easy breathing to help push the fear from her mind. If she didn’t, the knot in her stomach would move up to her chest, taking her breath and drowning her thoughts in panic. All the while in the back of her mind, she couldn’t let go of the question of how something so great should be considered so wrong it had to be destroyed.
She looked over her crumbling dominion. Below her, Syffox limped up the steep mountain trail to her. Normally, seeing him approach lifted her spirits, but this time it did not. He was right: even with fighting and working with all her forests, she was not strong enough to push back the relentless tide of jealous people spurred on by angry gods.
As Syffox approached, she could only think of how much she was letting him down, letting herself down. She wanted his comfort now more than ever but also didn’t want him to be here. He only reminded her of the countless people she was failing.
Once Syffox crested the peak, his face visibly saddened upon seeing her. He sat down heavily beside her in silence, his breathing laboured from the climb. Vantaiga leaned her head on his shoulder. Too numb to scream or cry, she just stared with him towards the dark haze growing on the horizon.
After a long moment, Syffox finally spoke. “We will have to deal with those fires at some point.”
Vantaiga could only manage to nod her acknowledgement. There was another long silence as Syffox struggled to find his own words. “You’re not strong enough to fight them all.”
Vantaiga sniffed as she nodded again, but she didn’t want to believe it. She could not have built up her forest without him, but together, they were still able to do it. “We are strong enough.”
Syffox leaned his head atop hers. “Yes, but not in this form.”
Vantaiga shook her head, her voice breaking as she spoke. “No… No. We have Mackyntal and his fellows, Palatine and the children. You are a match for any god.”
Syffox smirked at her overconfidence; he had already been struck down twice. “We can fight settlers and skirmishers, but we can’t fight what is waiting—not as mortals. We need immortal power.” He wrapped his arm around her to pull her in tighter. “Half your power is sitting right here beside you. You just need to claim it.”
“No. Let them take my forests. They can’t take you.”
Syffox drew in a slow, deep breath. “I can’t fight these battles much longer, Goddess. Every time you bring me back, I am weaker. Time is weakening me further still.” He struggled, trying to summon his words. “It now takes almost half my power to stay alive.”
Vantaiga clenched her eyes closed in guilt. He should not be using so much power. How many centuries had she wasted in the heavens? How wounded was he really? How much pain was he hiding from her? Why, after all these ages, was he sitting beside an unwanted slave girl still waiting for her to save him?
He slid from the rock to kneel before her. “I am gladly willing to give my life to you, but I am losing what I have left to give. They don’t have to take me, Goddess. I am fading away.”
“They said we’re not compatible, and we’ll go insane like Festor.”
Syffox closed his eyes. “They will say anything to get you. Do you honestly think we are anything like Festor? Do you honestly think that after all these centuries, we weren’t meant to be together? We started the forest together, Goddess. Let’s finish it together.”
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Vantaiga tried to think of something else to counter his words, but couldn’t. The struggle to control her emotions made her head throb and her chest ache. Why did everything she hold dear have to come with sacrifices? Why did everything have to come down to a choice of who would suffer? Why did she have to be punished for what someone else did? She looked down at Syffox’s watering eyes and soft smile. Why did she have to punish others for what someone else did? Her tears finally escaped her control, and she broke into sobs.
Syffox wiped away the tears and pulled her head down towards his. “Let me give you, Goddess, what you need to be happy. Let me be with you while there is still something left to be with.”
Vantaiga was too weak to deny him anymore. She let him pull her down. One last choice. One last sacrifice.
Syffox smiled warmly as he pulled her towards him. “We need to be together… We should be together… You are my everything, now and forever…” He brought her gemstone to his forehead.
There was a sharp burst of immense heat about her head as the world blotted out around her. She could feel Syffox’s mind moving into her, his thoughts connecting with hers. But she pushed back. She held him at the threshold of contacting her mind.
She could feel how much he wanted this. She could feel how much it meant for him to join her, how little he thought of anything else, how little he cared about anything else. All she had to do was accept his mind, his love, his desire to be with her.
All that was required was for her to give up her hesitation and resistance, her doubts and fears. Give up all the work he did to make her feel safe, to make her feel happy, to make her feel confident. All she had to do was give up all the things that gave her strength to go on.
She placed her hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat, felt how nothing else mattered as long as she could still feel that soft, warm pulse in his chest. With a deep breath and burst of tears, she forced back against the mantel and pushed him away. Syffox was knocked to the ground. Disoriented, he struggled to his knees. Vantaiga shook her head through her sobs. “I’m sorry, but it’s not worth it.”
Syffox braced his hands on the ground and hung his head. “I’m sorry as well, Goddess.”
“If they want to destroy my forest, then let them destroy my forest. I don’t want it if it means I can’t have you… here… at my side. They won’t make me destroy you.”
Syffox looked up at her with a rare show of anger. If Palatine could confront her in error, then he could confront her in justness. He grabbed hold of his anger and frustration to give his words strength. “That is not up to you, Goddess! I am already being destroyed. Time is destroying me. Fighting for the forest is destroying me. Watching you struggle is destroying me.” He broke into sobs. “Waiting for you is destroying me.”
Vantaiga placed her hands on the sides of his face and wiped away his tears while struggling with her own. “I know. I know. I’m so sorry. I know we can’t go on like this forever, but they can’t force me. They can’t force us. That is what they did to Festor. I won’t let them turn us into Festor.”
“It’s not the same as that, Goddess.”
She struck the rock with a trembling crack and yelled at him through her tears. “It is to me, damnit! It’s still them making me destroy what I cherish most. It’s still them taking control of my world. It’s still them thinking they know better. And even if we did join, there’s still no guarantee they won’t burn us to the ground.”
Syffox dropped his head. “I’m sorry, Goddess, there’s nothing else I can do.”
Vantaiga drew in a shuddering breath and found her own sense of anger growing within her at the sight of her defeated lover. How dare the gods turn them against each other? “No! There is something you can do. You can rally our followers. It is their forest too. They should fight for it as well. We will fight back and teach the gods to leave us alone.”
“Many will not survive such a battle, Goddess.”
Vantaiga reached forward and lifted Syffox to his feet. “Nobody had a choice to fight or a chance to survive when Festor took them. At least this way they have the opportunity to stand up for what they believe in.” She hugged him tightly. “My power comes from them—their love and their faith. They are stronger than both of us together. Let me show you that love of the trees and faith in the forest is stronger than the gods’ selfishness and hate.”
Syffox savoured her soft, warm embrace. “I won’t survive, Goddess.”
She ran her hand through his hair and brushed her face against his beard. “If you fall, I’ll raise you again. And then”—she took in a breath—“we can join together.”
Syffox drew back to look her in the eyes. “Do you promise?”
Vantaiga nodded. “Yes, and I always keep my promises.” A teasing smile crossed her face before turning serious again. “It also looks like it’s the only way I can keep you safe. I just can’t do it now, not with all the fighting, manipulations, and expectations. It has to be just you and me, the forest, and our followers, just for us, on our own terms.”
“Very well then.” Syffox managed a smile and stroked her soft hair. “For you… my warrior… my destroyer… my saviour… my Goddess, one last battle.”
Relief settled over Vantaiga. “We will pull through this. You will see. Let me go douse those fires, and you muster the followers.”
Syffox nodded slowly. “As you wish, Goddess.”
Invigorated and encouraged, Vantaiga felt the weight of her sorrow drop away. She smiled and nodded back to Syffox before whisking away to the horizon. Syffox watched her fade into the distance before taking a long look over the forest, one last look before one last battle. His body heaved and shuddered as he fell to his knees in tears. After one more battle.