The three figures in the diorama of an entire town might not just be carved from wood or plastic- but real people, flesh and blood. That’s what an unknown player sitting in his office might think, and he’d be absolutely right.
Because right now, those very three were boldly heading into that same cursed forest, where all kinds of creepy stuff had happened before. The team was hyped and feeling great. They’d had a solid drinking session the day before to celebrate the start of their expedition, which would soon become a whole series of episodes with flashy titles like: - We’re at the Lake That Steals Souls! 18+! - They’d already filmed their arrival in the working - class village, had (a rather awkward) conversation with the mayor, and caught a glimpse of a suspicious local cop.
Long story short, the content hadn’t even properly started rolling yet, and already there were enough mysteries to satisfy even the pickiest viewers.
I was replaying all that in my mind as we documented our hike through the forest toward the lake. Laughing and joking with Ada and Odile, I still kept mentally analyzing everything we did. Every move mattered- after all, every action turned into views and money in the end.
And I really did love those inseparable sisters- or brothers (whatever they were- relatives, anyway). Ada asked me:
- So, what do you think is waiting for us out there?
I put on my best nonchalant face- our cameraman was always watching, after all- and answered lazily:
- Well, most likely, we’ll run into… absolutely nothing. I mean, let’s be honest with our audience- everyone dreams of seeing ghosts and zombies, but to actually spot them in real life? You need CGI or a good makeup artist.
You wanna see the undead? Too bad. All that crap doesn’t exist, no matter what spooky old legends and myths try to tell us. They’re just scare stories passed down by superstitious grandpas.
We’re not gullible like they think right, guys? It’s us who scare people out of their pants!
I gave the camera a dramatic wink and a crooked grin. Odile chuckled, though he quickly suppressed it and said thoughtfully:
- Hmmm… Depends on how they scare If they really put their soul into it, maybe our hearts will
give out.
I mockingly objected:
- Buddy, cut the doom The weather’s great, even if it’s clearly not summer. No blizzards, no storms in the forecast. Let’s just enjoy this with our viewers.
Then Ada chimed in:
- As you always ask, friends, we didn’t bring anyone along for backup again- just to really immerse ourselves (and you!) in the experience. We’re following directions we got from the villagers. Also, as you can see, we’ve headed into the forest at night, and our only lighting is the moon and our spotlights. So… prepare for some suspense. - She smiled, and I quickly jumped in:
- Or you’ll just see a bunch of friends hanging out in nature. Boring and uneventful- but
The crew looked at me, surprised- I was usually the one who cranked up the suspense, even while playing the skeptical role. Ada, with her physics degree, leaned into the scientific angle- rational, but open - minded enough to accept the unknown. Odile brought the mysticism and spooky vibes with his mysterious way of talking. And even though I didn’t believe in any of it, I always kept the tension high, to keep the viewers wondering, - What if?
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But now I’d blurted this out! Damn… I guess the thoughts I’d had after yesterday’s interview really stuck in my subconscious and slipped through. Maybe, for the first time in ages, I actually told the truth. And suddenly, creeping up behind me was something I thought I’d long shaken off: sincerity.
And also- sheer exhaustion from wearing the mask of a showbiz hero.
Ada quickly took the reins, realizing it wasn’t worth drawing attention to my careless rambling, and said:
- If the compass isn’t lying, then we haven’t strayed once, and here it is - the sprawling, massive tree that the guy from the local bar mentioned. The one who described the path to us in such Just a bit further and we’re there.
- Where we’ll meet the spawns of the darkness within our own And I swear on my Brave Hamster Benny, it’s gonna be one hell of a showdown. - Odile added solemnly.
That’s how it might’ve gone (maybe even more epic), if we hadn’t shown up to the most boring lake imaginable - or at least that’s what I said to the camera. But in my mind, I had a different take: the lake was saved by two things - its mysterious aura and the stunning visuals. A silver basin surrounded by towering mountain ridges, under a sky blazing with a million stars… it looked unreal.
That was my honest - to - God thought. I was genuinely captivated by places like this. In fact, that’s partly why I got into this line of work. But as I reached the lapping water and nudged it with the tip of my shoe, I asked:
- So what? Where’s all the ghosts and monsters? Overslept and missed their night shift?
Ada was already busy messing with the tent, not answering, clearly focused on prepping the site for our overnight stay. I was about to jump in and help, but Odile cut in:
- Don’t you think it’s too quiet here? Like the wind just gave up chasing whatever strange treasures it’s always after.
- Yeah, I get Feels like something’s waiting for us. Not a good sign… Wait, look - what’s that in the water?! - I yelped, flailing my arms toward the lake, and then jumped back. I clasped my hands to my lips in an exaggerated gasp - like those cringe - worthy ads where people pretend to be shocked.
- Where?! What?! - Odile panicked, and I quickly offered:
- Gimme the camera, I’ll shoot what you’re Look over there.
They handed me the clunky thing, and my camera - virgin shoulders shook under the weight. - How the hell do the guys lug this around all day? - I thought. Intrigued, Odile walked up to the water’s edge and stared into the glassy surface with the trance - like focus of a philosopher desperate for answers.
That’s exactly what he was. Real Person. And that hit me so hard in the chest I could barely breathe
- pissed me off, So I went through with it: a harmless prank… or so I thought. I shoved him hard in the back.
He stumbled forward and, before he could stop himself, ended up knee - deep - no, neck - deep - in freezing cold water on a bitter night.
A tense silence fell. Even Ada stopped what she was doing and stared at me in confusion. I did the first thing that popped into my head when I saw our cameraman’s stunned face - I ran over and dove in headfirst, leaving the camera resting on its case, aimed squarely at Odile.
My chest didn’t just tighten - I felt like I was about to explode from the inside. Lungs screaming, everything cramping.
And my junk? Forget it. If painters use certain tools for inspiration, mine were officially out of commission. Still, as that thought flickered through my freezing brain, a fresh idea was born… but it’d have to wait. Ada crashed into the water right after us.
I greeted her bravery with a wild whoop and a cheer. Odile, still soaking, raised his fist dramatically:
- Friends, we are bound by these
- Holy crap, it’s cold! Awful! - Ada sputtered, spitting out water. She was the total opposite of her usual self - all composed and analytical. Especially since she was still in full hiking gear, not a swimsuit. But hey, so were we.
- Who cares! We did it, bitches! - I screamed, scooping up a handful of water and splashing the others with my slowly numbing hand.
Then we burst from the lake, screaming and laughing, flipping the camera a thumbs - up, a middle finger (that one was mine), totally hyped. We knew this episode was gonna hit big with our viewers.
I was the loudest, the most fired - up of the bunch… but inside, I was just as frozen as I was on the outside.
I wasn’t having fun. I hated them.
They were genuinely happy and not even mad at me. And I wanted them to be mad. But how could they doubt the infallible leader who knew how to turn bullshit into prime - time trash gold?
- Fucking Real People! - I roared silently, and with trembling fingers - from the cold and from rage
- I fumbled with my As I unzipped it, I stood at the water’s edge, legs apart, and shouted:
- Blur the appetizing curve of my butt in post, alright? Meanwhile, I’m gonna do .. - and I started peeing into the virgin waters of this beautiful lake. Let it be just a little bit spoiled. And more importantly - by me!
The stream wasn’t as glorious as I’d hoped, but right on cue, my stomach cramped up. So I committed an even worse act - I squatted down, let my butt graze the water, and prepared for defecation.
Shocked voices flew in my direction:
- NoWay is really doing it! I swear on my Elegant Hamster Benny, he’s actually doing it!