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  This short novel contains stronger violent themes with many mental issue themes please read responsibly)

  My blood ran thick and icy as I saw her lifeless body lying on the turquoise and ivory dotted kitchen tiles. She's not alive. Blood is gushing from her chest. I bend down to feel her pulse, and there was nothing – no blood pumping, no movement, no warmth, not the slightest bit of life. How could someone who lit up a room be so lifeless? I don't know what I did; it just happened. I had no control of what went down. I wish time would stop right now so I could just take a breath. All we were doing was sitting on her apricot lounge, and without a warning – it's hard to explain – I just got up. I went to the kitchen with a motive, but I didn't know the motive until a few seconds ago. I unalived her after I grabbed the shiny knife that could almost blind you from one gaze. I chased her for a bit; I eventually got her (she was never the best runner). I had to have stabbed her for at least 5 minutes with at most 68 stab marks. Something was empowering me to do it. Like a force greater than my own, their voice whispered sharp and bitter in my ear before I had killed her. It was as if I was a puppet only doing what I was told to. After I stood for a moment, not being able to look away from her body, the only thought that bolted through me was, 'What was I going to do?' My head was spinning; it felt like it was pacing in my skull. I felt like I was going to explode on the spot; I wish I would in some ways. I regained myself. I grab my phone from my hands; they are trembling from every movement I make. I say to myself, though my voice is cracking and breaking with every word, "I'm going to turn myself in." I almost seem insane from the way I'm saying it.I go to turn to my best friend's body on the ground, trying to think of what to say to the police, and, well, how can I say this without sounding absurd? She's disappeared. How can a dead person just get up and leave? I hear a shallow echo like it's trying to signal me, but not in an obvious way. I look around the kitchen, and in the back corner I see a figure; it was hard to make out. I saw an axe in its right hand and a sack in its left. The sack almost looked like it had something big in it ... like a body. It quickly grinned at me. than just disappeared out of thin air. I rushed out of the house; I didn't even blink. Every instinct in my body told me to run. I got into my car; you could notice it no matter what. I drove into a car park in front of a small shopping centre. I didn't get out; I just sat there. It was raining outside; the air was sad and miserable, but I liked it. The weather reminded me of my friend. If I didn't tell you her name, it was Tomika, and this day reminded me of her. Tomika was a nice girl; she had dirty blonde hair that was just at shoulder length. Her smile was unusually sympathetic and bright; it would make anyone smile no matter how they truly felt. That's the thing about her: she was never upset, but this day still reminded me of her. Since I knew her the best, I knew she was happy, but sometimes the act would slip just for a few seconds, and I'd see the pain she was hiding, the pain no one knew, the pain she didn't want anyone to know.I don't know what to do now. I don't know where to go. I'm totally astray; my mind won't unwind. Thoughts keep racing in my head; they are all saying completely different things. I have to leave Australia and go somewhere else, somewhere no one knows me or could know me. I'm going to move to Japan, where I won't get reminded of what I did.On the plane I was trying to put myself in a better mind space, but no matter what I thought of, I kept circling back to Tomika and the final moments she lived. I overhear a young woman no older than myself; she's yelling at a flight attendant because she only added 3 sugars in her tea, not 4. I honestly thought nothing of it at first, but then a sombre energy hit me like a bus, the same I had before what I did to Tomika. As soon as we landed, I said to the young woman that she needed to come with me since I was one of the staff and some of her baggage might have been lost, and because of that, she'd need to fill out forms. Once I led her to a place no one could see us in the airport. I unalived her too, but once again I felt horribly bad for her. She was lifeless and cut up, but she disappeared like Tomikas did. I'm glad the thing took her; I couldn't stand what I did. The dark force did it. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror anymore without vomiting. I haven't intentionally killed Tomika and the other girl, but I did, which still makes me the monster.I had to leave Japan now and go elsewhere. After I left, I went to Brazil, but this pattern couldn't be broken. I killed an old man; he was sitting at a harmless bus stop. I offered to help him get to where he needed to go, and I insisted that the bus doesn't work at these times anymore. I helped him into my car and took him to my home. He shouted at me in a putrid way, saying this isn't where he wanted to go, and demanded I take him back. My blood ran cold again, and I stabbed him.I then went to Korea. I did the same thing to a girl named Jelonga; I killed her in her own home. This time I used a gun. I even set it up as suicide, but the dark force didn't take her, so it made it even more believable. Then I travelled to America, where for a while I didn't hurt anyone, but that was only because I hadn't found my target, which was a man in his late 20s. I started to date him first, and then I killed him by blowing up his modern apartment.After a year of this, I had killed over 20 innocent lives. I don't even want to talk about the rest of them; the deaths were cruel and inhuman. They were the type of murders that twisted your stomach and made you want to kill the one who did it, the type of murders that shouldn't be known by anyone. Still reading? I wouldn't go further if you're sensitive.After a while people will become suspicious of you, and people did. Every time I moved countries, people would often ask why I travelled so much. I'd just say to them, 'I'm trying to see the whole world for myself.' This worked for them. But I know this is a lie, and that's what makes it so horrible – that I know I'm lying, and I know they'll find out I'm not moving for enjoyment. I'm moving to try to not kill, but I can't stop. Like they say, 'Once a killer, always a killer.' Even if I try to forget it, the history will always be there. It's like kicking rubbish under a carpet; it's not gone, you just can't see it, but it will be uncovered eventually. The problem isn't gone; it only looks like it has gone. I'm never going to be able to fix this. Those lives will never be brought back. Their families will never understand what happened, and they will be searching forever even though there's no answer, just the plain cold truth that nobody wants, but sometimes you have to accept it, even as much as it hurts, but there's nothing that can be done. I'm going to be the monster of the story. That's all you fellow readers are going to think of me as by this stage. Even if I pay for what I've done, my status will never be mended. What's done is done.After my 20th murder, I can't understand why I've done what I've done. I've been to 20 different countries across the world, and all I'm doing is ruining people's lives and their families. The amount of hurt their families are going through is just absolutely horrid. The worst thing is that I did it all without even trying to stop, as powerful as the power was. I didn't even try? Then why should I feel bad? I didn't even bother to overtake the power. I let it eat me up.I've been to all of these countries and killed. Let me explain the ones I didn't. 5. Ireland, Now this was just an absolutely horrible death. The fact is how I actually did it – I shouldn't have, but I did. I first acted as a licensed therapist, and he, as it so happened, was one of my clients. I tricked him into thinking he was very mentally ill, and I started to give him sleeping pills since I said he had insomnia. He took them for a while until the night I killed him in his sleep. I grabbed a knife, and I stabbed him to death.6. Russia: Russia can already be seen as an inhuman place, but I did something that was beyond that. I found a woman; she was quite rude and spoiled – the type of child that got anything in life. I found her sleeping on the street one humid night; it was most likely since she was so drunk she couldn't make it home from partying. She still had half a bottle of vodka left, and I had a lighter, but I didn't kill her like that. I wanted something less dangerous, so I hopped in my car and ran her over 2 times. She was bound to be dead no matter what.7. China was not as bad; I found a victim, and I just poisoned them. The girl was Beje Lee.8. Italy: This was bad, but it could have been worse. I found a man, maybe 19 or 20, and I knocked him out so he couldn't make any sounds, and I threw him off a high cliff. 9. Vietnam: I burned this person alive. He was much bigger than me, so I couldn't have stabbed him, so burning was one of my only choices. 10. Turkey: This one was simple. I have to admit I buried this man alive. I first spiked his drink and dug a hole very deep. I didn't bury him in a backyard, though; I buried him in a graveyard. That way it wouldn't be seen as weird. By this stage the force wasn't taking all of the bodies, almost like it was only taking the first ones to help me get started on these murder sprees.11. Bangladesh: I fed a nice old woman to pigs in her own farm. This could be seen as original or pathetic, but either way I killed her.12. Iran: This one was strange, but it worked. I doctored a degree in house riding and got a job as a house rider teacher. The person who actually signed up for lessons was mean, but I taught them for the first 3 trial lessons the best I could, and then for their first actual lesson, I kicked them off the horse. It disrupted the horse a lot, and it killed her by kicking her chest in. Honestly, I had no emotions or empathy for these people. Why should I? I don't know them; I have never met them, and I'm sure if I were in their position and they were in mine, they would feel no sorrow for me.13. Argentina: This one was boring for me. The creature/dark force stopped taking them, so it was more work for me to dispose of them, but I didn't mind. I just went with a basic one and stabbed the victim; she was very young, only 18. Yet I took her life.14. Mexico: Mexico is truly beautiful, but the horror I caused made it not. I cut up the first person I saw on the street; it was a man in his mid-30s, maybe even 40s. I buried him in a river; he may be found, or he may not be. All it depends on is if they do land infrastructure.15. Finland: Finland was, well, almost bad. I was less than a centimetre from being caught. I was going to dispose of the body and almost dropped it in the water before I realised there were people in the ocean.16. Denmark: Denmark was, well, not what I expected. It was too easy to kill my victim; they were about 86 and very depressed. I mean, they didn't even fight or scream; they just waited while I just killed them. That murder felt different, almost like it brought me back to reality.17. India: In India I killed again. This time I didn't enjoy it; I hated it. It was like the first murder; I felt the true horror of what I did, and I felt so sad. 18. Indonesia: This one hurt me more. I was getting worse at killing and worse at hiding the body. I did a sloppy job of killing my victim; they almost got away. They cut my wrist a bit as well.19. By this stage I was getting tired; my last death led to my downfall. I just left the body with my DNA all in the victim's house; I didn't even try.On Thursday, July 20th, at 2:05, they caught me. They must have been watching me since I had been moving so much, and wherever I went, someone would go missing. A bit too coincidental, right? Just in one year, only staying in each country for a day or two, it was too strange. The cops tried to arrest me at the UK airport. I was going to leave to go elsewhere since I just killed a young man. Once again, I felt horribly guilty, so I had to clear out, but the cops were one step ahead. When I walked in the modern, in some ways exciting airport, I had 5 guns pointing at me, screaming for me to put my hands up. My head and my ears felt like they were bleeding from the stress. My heart was pounding; I thought it'd pop out from my chest. My head was spinning. I couldn't breathe. I didn't understand, and I didn't want to. Out of no thought, I tried to make a run for it, but we all know with me having no weapons and them having over 5 guns haha, I got shot, and I didn't make it if you really needed to know. Whether you believe in hell and heaven or not is really based on how you were raised. My mother and father often said there's absolutely nothing after death; it's just empty and dark, so very dark. I would "agree", while I knew heaven has to be real and so is hell. I maintained the thought I'd go to heaven after I tragically died, but with what I've done now, that belief was hit with reality, because what I've done shouldn't deserve heaven; even hell is too good.I woke up; my body was flaming even though I'm dead. The red coal under me was hotter than anything I had ever felt before. There were pits of fire all around. Hell isn't how I imagined it. Everything was dark; the only thing helping you see was the bright, intense fire. Everything was angry; nothing seemed good about it. There's nothing I could say to make you believe it had any good. I walked over to a throne-like seat; it was black. When I lightly slid my fingers across it, it burnt, almost like a tingling burn. I heard a deep voice which made a cold shiver run down my spine; it said, "We've been waiting." I looked behind me; a dark figure emerged from the shadows. He was the one behind it all; he did it all. He grinned as he noticed I realised it all. A sting of silence washed over me. I soon decided to ask, "Why'd you make me kill all of those people? I didn't want to, but you controlled me." "Why?" He stood there for a moment, almost thinking of what to say, and said his words gently, "Well, I want to escape this place, and I had to find a human in your world, so I basically connected with you."But you can already go in my world.'' He spoke with ease as if he was suppressing anger and said, 'I don't have that much control in your world. I can only take the dead; I can't touch humans that are alive, so I decided to take over your mind, and when I wanted you to kill, I'd control you.''But why do you want to kill people? Why do you need them?' I stuttered, trying to understand.He said, as if the answer was already obvious, 'If I have enough lives taken by one singular person in one year and that person dies themself too, I can – how do you say – perform a séance and have control in your world.' He stood tall and said, 'Come on now, we have to begin.' I follow him into a cave which sits at a far corner of hell. All of the people I have killed are there. They don't seem mad, just empty, but for some reason, Tomika wasn't there. She must be in heaven, but then why would the demon control me to kill her if she's no use?He yells for everyone to get into a circle and hold hands. The cave is dark; I can barely recognise anyone, but I hop into a gap in the circle. The demon begins to chant words I couldn't understand. "Gu ma sumacha tu esguma""Gu man sumacha tu esguma""Le chemozo tbouw chumais""Le chemozo tbouw chumais""Somo le conjo ehum lozaza""Somo le conjo ehum lozaza"He repeats this many times until my eyes almost want to pop. A portal opens in the circle. I almost lose my mind with the realism of this whole situation. The demon looks genuinely pleasant about this; his grin reaches to his eyes. He pushes everyone away and says with a determined look, 'Goodbye. Have fun in hell.' He jumps in, and as he falls, the portal closes. Everyone stands in disbelief. You see, the demon told them they could go back and have their lives restored, but the demon didn't shake on this. He couldn't keep his promises; he only cared about himself. Everyone just stood in silence; no one said a word, and no one even moved an inch. It was like time was frozen. With everyone stuck in hell, there was no escape, but I couldn't stop thinking about why I was made to kill Tomika. If she went to heaven – I mean, I knew she'd go to heaven; she was a better person than anyone I'd ever met – why did the demon make me kill her? I mean, it just doesn't make a lot of sense. There has to be a reason, some answer to why, but only one person could tell me that, but I'm trapped in hell, and he's in our world. Everyone glares at me. It's a stare that looks like it could just kill you from seeing it. They are angry for what I've done; they want me to suffer, but unfortunately, they can't make me suffer anymore. Then I have them all think I'm not sorry for what I did to them, but I truly am. That's why I'm confused why I'm in hell. I didn't intentionally kill them. But I didn't hand myself in; I truly feel bad. I should have been in heaven. I want to say Sorry to Tomika; she doesn't deserve what I did. She was the only one who stood by me, right or wrong. She cared even on the days she shouldn't. I don't know if she hates me, but the word 'hate' was never in her vocab. Maybe it changed because of what I've done. I'd be angry if anyone had done that; I'd never let go of my rage. I'm not one to forgive. Tomika will forgive and forget. even if she's been betrayed beyond death So I pray I can see her and say Sorry, because with all my heart I just want this to be better. If I had a magic wand, I would fix this all I sit. on a big rock which looks as if it's to rest on regardless if the dead don't sleep I lay my head on it. It's not comfy. but I somehow fall off to a deep sleep. I saw darkness in my dream, emptiness. almost Like my soul, it resembled a part of me. but i saw figure coming closer it looked like someone i knew every step i began to recognize them more and more it was Tom. Ika's smile was bright. I stopped for a second, but her smile faded; she yelled in a weird way. "WAKE UP." I flinched and woke up. I wasn't in hell but in a hospital bed. I was confused. Tomika was sitting right next to me; she almost jumped when she saw I was awake. She hugged me, saying, "Omgg omgg, you're awake." I looked at her confused but desperate for an answer. Tears started wobbling from her eyes. She calmed back down and said,"You've been in a coma for 4 years." She was trying to say it in a calm way so I wouldn't panic. I got up and walked out of that hospital. She didn't stop me; she just stood there and watched as if she couldn't stop me. Once I exit the whole building in the car park, I see the demon figure. I blink, and it's gone... Was it a dream? I ask myself as if it's not real. I still can't understand what really happened to this day.THE END? Or is it...

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