Her breath hitched.
His breath caught.
The twins, from the rooftop, leaned so far forward they nearly slid off the tiles.
It was perfect.
It was tender.
It was cinematic.
It was—
BANG.
The door to the balcony slammed open so hard it rebounded off the wall.
Kaer, Garruk, and Pancake tumbled through it in a heap of frantic boots, metal, and one cosmic weasel.
Kaer (shouting):
“ELYRA! THERE’S SOMETHING WEIRD WATCHING PEOPLE IN TO—”
He froze mid-syllable.
Garruk froze.
Pancake froze.
Elyra froze.
Tavian froze twice.
The rooftop twins nearly fell off laughing.
The silence that followed could have ruptured a god.
Kaer’s eyes went wide.
Garruk’s jaw dropped.
Pancake tilted his head like a confused puppy.
For three full heartbeats, nobody breathed.
Then—
Pancake saved the day.
He puffed up his little furry chest, pointed dramatically at Tavian, and announced in his proudest, squeakiest voice:
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Pancake:
“I KNEW you two were smoochin’!”
Elyra:
“PANCAKE—!”
Tavian turned the exact shade of a boiled lobster.
Kaer, trying to reverse course, tripped over his own feet.
Kaer:
“We didn’t see anything! NOTHING! I SAW NOTHING!”
Garruk, heroic barbarian of legend, whispered under his breath:
Garruk:
“Oh gods… feelings…”
Pancake, meanwhile, strutted in a circle, narrating:
Pancake:
“I saw smooch pre-smooch moment. She go ‘hmmm,’ he go ‘uhhhh,’ then—BOOM—Dice enter! Very dramatic. Very romantic!”
Elyra covered her face with both hands.
Tavian tried to melt into the floor.
Kaer grabbed Garruk by the collar and bodily dragged him out of the room.
Kaer:
“WE LEAVE. WE LEAVE NOW.”
Garruk (being hauled away):
“CONGRATULATIONS, I THINK?”
The door slammed shut.
Silence returned.
Pancake, still in the room, looked between Elyra and Tavian.
He nodded sagely.
Pancake:
“Pancake approves. Continue smooch.”
And he trotted out.
The door clicked closed.
Leaving Elyra and Tavian alone.
Staring at each other.
Both bright red.
Both trying not to laugh.
Both absolutely, hopelessly in love.
Tavian finally spoke, voice small and breathless:
Tavian:
“…Should we… pretend that didn’t happen?”
Elyra lowered her hands.
Smiled.
Elyra:
“Not a chance.”
Elyra couldn’t hold it in—
she snorted.
A very undignified, very real, very her snort.
Elyra:
“By the gods… Tavian… a purple cosmic weasel literally just gave us permission to smooch.”
Tavian blinked.
Looked at the door where Pancake had vanished.
Looked back at her.
Tavian:
“…Is that… normal?”
Elyra, without missing a beat:
Elyra:
“For my family?
Yes.
Horrifyingly, yes.”
She pressed her fingertips to her forehead, laughing helplessly now.
Elyra:
“My dad’s a necromancer, my mum’s an ex-Huntress-turned-archery-goddess, my baby brother kicks like a thunder god, the twins meddle in literally everything, Garruk breaks door frames by breathing too loud…”
She gestures around.
Elyra:
“And on top of all that—
a cosmic weasel is now apparently the arbiter of my romantic decisions.”
Tavian ran a hand down his face, utterly overwhelmed, utterly enchanted.
Tavian:
“I… I don’t think my life has ever escalated this quickly.”
Elyra stepped closer, her voice soft but teasing:
Elyra:
“Welcome to the Crimson Dice, Tavian.
We don’t do normal.
We do… this.”
He swallowed.
Tavian:
“Should I… thank Pancake? For… uh… approving?”
Elyra raised a brow.
Elyra:
“If you want to stay alive?
Absolutely.”
It hit Tavian then, full force:
He had just received romantic approval from—
- a cosmic being
- a weasel
- a creature older than most mortals
- who canonically consumes milk kegs whole
- and saved two lives with ancient cosmic chanting last month
Tavian whispered, dazed:
Tavian:
“…I’ve been judged worthy by… Pancake the Eternal.”
Elyra fully lost it, laughing so hard she had to grab his arm to stay upright.
And then—
She leaned in.
Elyra (soft, warm):
“Well… since we have his blessing…”
She kissed him.
This time—
No interruptions.
No cosmic audience.
No slapstick barbarian entrances.
Just them.