Prologue - Meaningless struggle
“Remember kids, as long as you keep God in your heart, you will never truly be alone” I heard those words in my mind, as my feet ran fast on the muddy puddles.
A life spent in devotion, then one spent in seeking revenge for the previous- all of them carried out like some sort of task.
I had been reborn many times: same body, same name, but a whole different person. Always… less, of a person.
All the words I said, all the things I had done throughout my journey, they all felt so empty, like a meaningless struggle to take it all back.
In the end, I had failed to achieve anything Gerald would have been proud of.
My foot tripped on the wet grass, making me roll all the way down the hill.
?AWGHH!? I held my side: something was broken.
“Doesn’t matter. Get up.”
?Don’t let him get away!? They said; their white robes floating under the influence of the strong wind.
One stroke of a blade. The singing of metal against the wind. It always changed things in my life, and it was definitely going to do it now.
A loud buzz filled my ears.
I couldn’t let myself get caught. I needed to get there as soon as possible.
But I couldn’t let them follow me. I couldn’t- Huh?
Why was I even escaping in the first place?
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My feet stopped on their own.
Had I… hit something? My arm felt heavier. Why was my hand warm all of a sudden?
Nevermind… It was all gone.
?A-a-ahh… No. NO!? The pursuers started screaming, terrified.
My mind blacked out as I heard them screaming even more. It was all done in a second.
Silence came, leaving behind only the clinging sound of their blades meeting the ground and the plopping of their blood painting the dirt.
I lowered my gaze, and stood in horror: those same hands that were once joined in prayer now turned into claws drenched in crimson.
I pointed those claws at my chest. They would never be mine. I was never becoming one of those beasts that plagued my life.
My breathing got heavier. Sweat, mixed with blood and dirt poured down my face. The taste: something halfway between metal and a slab of salt.
I needed to put an end to this. I needed to-
My memories started playing right in front of my eyes, covering the bloody wasteland in front of them.
“God is good, and our word is God’s word” The father used to feed us those lies.
Had I seen those white robes for the monsters they were, far more evil than the beasts I hunted for them, things would have gone differently.
But I didn’t. I bowed to them, instead.
My morals- my own humanity- I had thrown it all out the window, just to blindly follow their “word of God”.
I should have questioned it. I shouldn’t have devoted my life to those lies.
As I saw my own reflection in those bloody puddles, horribly disfigured, I wished I could have known that from the very beginning.
I moved the disgusting claw up to my shoulder. One slash, down to the core. That was all I needed.
?Hsss?I drew in my breath and sealed my lips.
The thing was razor sharp. A small pressure was far more than enough to make my shoulder bleed.
No turning back. I needed to do it while I still could.
?AARGHH!? The claw sunk even deeper in my flesh.
I needed to go deeper. One. Two.
?AA- GAH!?I fell to the ground, painting as I lost all of my energies.
That was how I ended: bathing in my own blood, like many had before me.
Silence engulfed me, while the cold rain cleaned my body.
“If heaven exists, then he has surely turned his gaze away from me” I thought, then my eyes closed and my sense of self disappeared.
A confused voice rose through that deafening silence.
Light hit my eyelids. Where was it coming from?
When I opened my eyes back up, the pursuers had vanished, and several kids were surrounding me.
The blood-painted terrain had changed into the stone tiles of a chapel’s floor.
I wasn’t standing anymore. I was kneeling, on a wooden bench.
I closed my eyes again, feeling like a part of me was drifting away.
