Arun

  I don’t wake to Alexios’s gentle kisses on my neck this morning like I usually do.

  No, he isn’t here in our bed.

  I wake to the sound of him yelling instead.

  For a moment, I think I’m just imagining it or I’m still in some kind of dream state, but then the yelling gets louder before turning into screams from somewhere downstairs.

  I pull my house robe on quickly and slip into the hallway, desperate to keep my footsteps silent as I make my way downstairs. A servant rushes past me towards the dining hall, but her eyes stay forward, not making eye contact with me at all.

  More yelling and cursing comes this time, directing my eyes to right to Alexios’s study. I find a shadowed angle opposite of the staircase where I can see just enough inside, but still stay out of his view.

  I clamp my hand over my mouth quickly as a gasp threatens to escape me, fresh tears burning my eyes.

  Inside Alexios’s study…

  Is him.

  Lord Brimsey.

  “You think I wouldn’t find out?” Alexios shouts.

  I can see Brimsey shift uneasily from my hiding spot.

  “I didn’t…”

  “You didn’t what?” Alexios snaps again, throwing him roughly into the desk, sending papers flying wildly at the force of impact. “Didn’t lock the door so he couldn’t leave? Didn’t put your disgusting hands on him? “

  Brimsey shakes his head quickly, but Alexios steps forward with purpose, anger fueling every step.

  “I didn’t touch him like that!”

  Before I even know it, Alexios pulls him up from where he’s slumped over on the desk, slamming him into the opposite wall. The pure force of it makes me jump.

  “You assaulted my fucking husband!”

  …

  What?

  My eyes widen. Did he just call me…?

  Not only does the word land like a blow to the stomach, but a blow from Alexios’s fist pummels into Brimsey’s gut too before the other fist strikes his jaw.

  Brimsey slides down the wall in pain, begging for mercy that he likely knows he won’t get.

  Alexios bends down to meet his eyes again before spitting directly in his face, the wet blob landing almost directly in his eyes.

  “You will not touch him. You will not breathe the same air as him. If I had been there instead of Je Suis, you wouldn’t have walked away that day.”

  Tears pour down Brimsey’s face as a trickle of blood seeps from his wounded lip.

  “If I hear even a whisper that you’ve spoken his name,” Alexios continues, his voice calm but I know that this “calm” version is far worse and more dangerous than his shouting. “I’ll make your sweet children and that pretty wife of yours watch as I feed your entrails to the pigs. Do you understand?”

  Brimsey nods quickly, mumbling something I can’t make out from where I’m hiding.

  Alexios steps back and points sharply at the door.

  “Get out of my sight. Now.”

  Brimsey is practically crawling out of Alexios’s office before eventually forcing himself to stand weakly, hands trembling as he comes directly into my line of sight.

  His face is pale, eyes darting to the floor like he’s afraid for anyone to see the scared look in his eyes. Then I see the dark stain spreading in the front of his pants.

  Alexios scared him so badly, he’s wet himself.

  My hand moves quickly to silent the laugh that desperate wants to come out, but I keep hidden until I finally hear the sound of the front doors closing before looking back towards Alexios’s study.

  He’s behind the desk now with his head lowered into his hands, long hair ruffled in anger. My heart is hammering in my chest, but it’s no longer because of seeing Brimsey in our home.

  It’s because of that word.

  Husband.

  Maybe I’m wrong to think this, but it didn’t sound like a slip. It sounded real, like he believes it just as much as I want to believe it.

  I watch him for a moment longer, seeing the way his head bows slightly like he’s trying to listen to something only he can hear. My chest feels far too tight right now so I press my back to the wall to stay hidden from his sight.

  I don’t think I can step in there right now. Not yet, at least.

  What would I even say if I did?

  I wait until I hear the sound of Alexios moving to sit in front of the hearth, back turned towards me, before I start to move slowly so the wooden floors don’t give me away.

  I glance back once and for a split second, I almost go in and tell him that I heard everything.

  But I can’t.

  I turn away, keeping to the shadows until I reach the stairs again. As I slip back into our bedroom, closing the door quietly as I can, my heart keeps repeating the same thing over and over again.

  Alexios called me his husband and I will never forget the way the word sounded coming out of his lips.

  --

  The dining hall seems much brighter than usual right now, but I can’t tell if it’s because of the sunlight spilling through the windows or the way Alexios glances at me every now and then.

  A servant carefully places our plates in front of us before stepping away quietly. Alexios sits across from me in a freshly changed silk robe, different from the red one he had on earlier. He seems… relaxed now, almost as if the confrontation didn’t happen at all. All of his attention turns toward pouring my tea like this is the most important thing in the world to him right now.

  Our conversation stays light, with us casually talking about the weather and delivery he is expecting from Sigia in the northeast. He even smiles when I make a comment about the roses blooming again.

  If what he said in the heat of the moment earlier is still in his mind, he’s hiding it incredibly well so I choose to let it go for now.

  I cut into the eggs on my plate, nodding along with his comment about needing to visit the vineyard in Pipinton next week and pretending this is just another normal day, but I know it’s only a matter of time before I expose what I know.

  When the servants come by to clean the table, Alexios rises from his chair.

  “Come with me,” he says as he offers his hand to me. “We haven’t spent time in the garden in a while. I’ll bet the flowers are missing you right about now.”

  I take his hand without a second thought, his large hand covering my small one as he leads me through the backdoor and out onto the veranda.

  I watch the bees move lazily along the flower petals as Alexios’s thumb brushes softly over my fingers. When I look up at him, his eyes are ahead looking at the fountain, but I know he’s stuck in that head of his.

  Halfway to the fountain, he comes to a stop.

  “I had someone here earlier this morning,” he admits. “Lord Brimsey.”

  My heartbeat starts to race, curious to know where he’s going with this.

  “I see.”

  I… I don’t know what else to say.

  “I wanted him to know what it costs to disrespect you,” he responds quietly. “He will never lay his hands on you again. I promise you that, my love.”

  As the breeze flows smoothly through the roses and my hair, I realize that maybe now is my chance.

  “What did you say to him… when he was here?”

  “Enough for him to fear me and never whisper your name again,” he replies.

  His answer is acting as a shield right now, but I’m unwilling to let this drop.

  “No,” I say firmly. “I mean… what exactly did you say, Alexios?”

  He swallows sharply, looking away from me.

  “I… were you listening?”

  My silence is the confirmation I don’t think he wants. He turns his focus back to the fountain without another word.

  As Alexios starts walking again, I keep my eyes ahead too now and try to match his pace. He doesn’t try to take my hand again. I don’t offer it anyway. Whatever gentleness was between us earlier during breakfast seems… gone now.

  His silence tells me everything I need to know.

  It really was a mistake.

  --

  I’m tucked neatly into bed, soft light falling across the sheets from the candles placed on the bedside table. The book resting in my lap has been open on the same page for at least an hour, if not longer.

  I don’t care to read a single word of it right now. I keep thinking about how Alexios didn’t answer me and how awkward the rest of the day has been. We kept our distance from each other, with me quietly focusing on my work in the healing room while he likely stayed holed up in his study.

  I’m torn from my thoughts by the bedroom door suddenly opening. Alexios steps inside, his red eyes finding me immediately.

  “I didn’t expect for you to still be awake,” he says, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed.

  “Couldn’t sleep.”

  Alexios inhales deeply.

  “I’ve been thinking about earlier.”

  “And?”

  “And about things I… may have said.”

  I wait for him to continue, but he stays silent for a while, shifting to lay down beside me and using one elbow to prop himself up so he’s facing me.”

  Finally, one of his fingers trails over my lower lip before eventually choosing to settle his hand on my chest.

  “Arun, what did you hear?”

  My pulse quickens and all I want to do is stay completely silent, but I know it would do no good.

  “I… I heard you call me your husband,” I admit.

  “Did it scare you…?” he asks softly.

  The way he asks that makes me think that he assumes hearing it hurt me. Has he been sitting with that all day?

  I shake my head slowly.

  “No,” I admit. “It didn’t scare me. It… surprised me. I wasn’t expecting you to say it. Especially not there.”

  Alexios lets out a sigh that sounds almost like a laugh, but there’s too much tension for it to truly be one.

  “I didn’t expect to say it either,” he confesses. “But when I saw that bastard and thought about what he did to you… it was the only word that felt right.”

  His confession leaves me breathless while his hand moves to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. I let myself lean into him now.

  “I didn’t know you were listening,” he continues.

  “I wasn’t at first,” I whisper. “But then I heard you yelling and I stayed.”

  “I would’ve chosen my words differently… if I knew.”

  I pull back to look at him, desperate to figure out if he feels regret.

  “Is that the truth, Alexios?”

  He bites his bottom lip softly… then shakes his head.

  “No. No, it isn’t. I would have said the same thing, but I would’ve wanted to tell you first.”

  I rest my forehead against his chest, angling my horns away from him. I won’t push for anything more tonight. I don’t think either of us even have it in us.

  --

  Morning comes before I even realize it. I wake to the soft sounds of fabric shifting next to me. Alexios is already awake from his trancing, standing in front of our wardrobe and pulling on a clean shirt.

  Eventually, he realizes I’m watching him dress and the sharp tension in his shoulders eased instantly.

  “Did I wake you, my love?”

  “No,” I say, yawning softly as I sit up a little. “I just didn’t expect you to be out of bed yet.”

  He smiles warmly, stepping back over to the bed to leave a kiss on my temple.

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  “You looked too peaceful sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

  Before he can pull away, I reach for his hand, pulling it to my lips to kiss his knuckles.

  “Breakfast?” Alexios offers.

  “Is it okay if we just… stay here a little longer?”

  Laughing softly, he nods and sits beside me in the bed, stretching out so he’s leaning against the headboard. I scoot closer to him until we’re pressed up against each other.

  “What about breakfast in bed, hmm?”

  My eyes shine brightly and I can’t stop the playful grin as I nod in agreement.

  --

  The servants eventually bring breakfast up to us, but instead of Alexios gesturing for them to place the tray on the table in front of the hearth, he has them carefully place it at the end of the bed.

  We eat there, lips pressing against each other’s every so often. Halfway through breakfast, Alexios puts his teacup down on the bedside table and I realize by that determined look on his face, he has an idea and it’s already taken root in his heart.

  “I could have your old room converted,” he says suddenly.

  I pause, my fork halfway to my mouth.

  “Converted into… what?”

  “A closet for your clothes,” he answers quickly. “All of them. The room is just sitting there gathering dust again. You deserve more than just crowding your things into the wardrobe.”

  “Alexios… you don’t have to do that.”

  “I know,” he says softly. “But I’d really like to. If can be something else if you want.”

  He picks his teacup back up, his idea already certain. Knowing him, the workers are probably already on their way here. The way he used to make these grand gestures used to confuse me, but I think I’ve found a pattern with them.

  He seems to do this when he’s feeling protective or when he thinks I’ve been wronged. Is it guilt… or a need to claim me in a way no one else can touch?

  I’m not quite sure, honestly. It feels like both right now.

  Not in the mood to call him out on it this morning, I just nod, letting him think I’ve accepted this, but I know this is more than just giving me a place to put the silk clothes he gladly wraps me in.

  Alexios wants me to know that I have space here and that I can take up as much of it as I want. This manor is just as much mine now as it is his.

  He’s making sure I know no one can take this from me.

  “What about a studio for your art or even an office?”

  I quickly look over at him, surprised.

  “You’d really give me an entire room for that?”

  He arches an eyebrow, a silent response that the answer should be obvious.

  “It’s your old room, Arun. You can do whatever you want. Hells, you can have any room in the manor if you want. I only suggested a closet because you wrestle with those wardrobe doors every morning.”

  I laugh brightly, leaning into his shoulder.

  “You’re a jerk,” I say. “You’ve been watching me do that?”

  “I always watch you,” he answers softly.

  My eyes drift to the balcony window where the sun comes in through the curtains.

  “A studio might be nice,” I say. “Feels safer for me to leave a piece out to dry without worrying about anyone moving them or potentially dirtying up the library.”

  “More than we already have?”

  My cheeks flush deeply at the warm memories of my illusion spell filling the room with a beautiful nebula, Alexios’s confessions finally spilling out just as the tears in his eyes did. I remember the way his back arched, beautiful muscles shining under the illusion of starlight as he opened himself to me.

  He smiles in satisfaction.

  “Let’s make it a studio then,” he declares, causing me to huff softly.

  “You decide fast.”

  “There’s no reason to hesitate when it comes to you.”

  I’m completely wrapped in warmth now and it has nothing to do with the sunlight falling across the bed. I’m already picturing the decadent shelves for my art pieces and the fact that it will be mine because he said so.

  “Arun?” Alexios asks quietly.

  My eyes are on him, finding it impossible to look anywhere else right now.

  “You know I love you… more than anything.”

  It’s not said as question, but rather just an admission that he desperately needs me to hear right now.

  “I know you do.”

  He sighs and looks away for a moment.

  “I’m sorry if I seemed cold yesterday. I wasn’t trying to push you away. I just… the fact that I even said it caught me off guard and you hearing it had me concerned.”

  Determined for him not to go somewhere in his head that I couldn’t possibly follow, I reach for his hand.

  “I wasn’t upset,” I tell him. “I think I just wanted to hear you actually say it to me.”

  For a few moments, that heaviness in the room leaves.

  Alexios’s fingertips rub against the side of my hand, eyes moving briefly to my lips every now and then.

  “Have you ever thought about it? Not… not with me. Just in general.”

  I’m confused for a moment, but suddenly, I realize exactly what he’s asking here.

  Marriage.

  A life with a loved one.

  Shared nights. A shared future. Promises made to one another.

  It's practically what we're doing anyway.

  I move back to the headboard, considering his question.

  “No,” I answer honestly. “I never thought it was something I’d ever have.”

  “Why not?”

  I shrug softly.

  “It just never seemed like a promise meant for someone like me. A boy passed around from brothel to brothel.”

  He nods slowly.

  “I understand that more than I wish I did.”

  Alexios’s fingers run over my hand and up my arm before leaning back slightly to give me space without truly letting go.

  This moment feels… fragile now. I choose to let it settle instead of prodding, grateful just to have him next to me.

  Before I can change the subject to something a bit lighter, Alexios beats me to it.

  “I heard there’s a night marketing happening in Richelor this evening, he says. “Lanterns, food, music… you name it.”

  “You… want to go?” I ask curiously.

  “Only if you’d like to come with me. We can wander and sample everything, pretending we’re there on ‘special business’ when you and I both know we’re not.”

  I realize I’m smiling hard despite the earlier conversation.

  “I think that sounds lovely. We should go then. Just us.”

  “I’ll have the carriage ready before sunset.”

  --

  Our carriage rolls to a stop near the main street and I can already hear the laughs of children, loud calls of merchants and gentle music playing from somewhere further down. Stepping out, Alexios and I are immediately pulled to the river of lights leading down the street. Paper lanterns have been strung up from stall to stall and soft breeze makes them sway gently in the night air, each glowing in different shades of gold, purple, blue. Somewhere ahead, a halfling woman is selling candied fruit that looks like glass under the lantern lights.

  Alexios guides me just enough to keep me close to him and whenever someone passes too closely, his hand shifts ever so slightly in a protective way without drawing too much attention to the act itself.

  Our first stop of the night is food stall where a vendor is handing out steamed buns filled with minced pork. Alexios orders two instantly.

  “You’ll like it,” he says, leaning in close to my ear so I can hear over the noise of the crowd.

  My first bite is a cautious one, but he’s right. The bun is almost too hot and I watch as the steam floats into the cool air. As I look back up at Alexios, I realize he’s waiting for my final verdict.

  I roll my eyes playfully, taking another bite.

  Later on, we pass by a merchant selling painted fans. I stop to look at one with an intricate mountain scene with flowing trees. The brushwork is absolutely breathtaking.

  When I turn back to Alexios, he’s already speaking to the merchant. He buys one without even looking at the price.

  As we near the center of the market, the sound of violins and beating of a hand drum get louder. People are gathered close to listen to the bards. Some are swaying gently while others stand still, completely mesmerized by the melody.

  We pause and I look up expecting Alexios to be caught up in the music as well, but then I notice that it’s not on the music at all.

  He’s scanning the crowd.

  It’s subtle, but I know him far too well to not pick up on what he’s doing. His hand moves to grab my waist when a man gets a little too close, not letting go until he’s passed.

  We move on, stopping at a stall where a woman is pouring hot tea, the stream landing in each small cup without a single drop spilled. Alexios hands me one and clinks his lightly against it before taking a small sip.

  As we start exploring again, I catch a small smirk on his face.

  “Being among people suits you,” he says.

  I look up at him.

  “You think so?”

  Alexios nods, taking my hand in his as he steers us towards a quieter area of the market. I’m not sure if he means his words as a compliment, reassurance or both, but I’ll gladly take the comfort.

  He gestures to a stall where a man is selling fried dough, some shaped like flowers and others just shaped into puffy squares. They’re dusted in so much powdered sugar that it covers my hands and clothes as soon as I pick one up.

  Alexios chuckles softly as he helps me brush it off.

  “Messy, are we now?”

  He pulls me over to a wooden bench beside the stall, watching as I take another bite.

  “It’s so good,” I say, mouth still rather full. That and the sugar coating my lips are probably giving Alexios tons of fun ideas right about now.

  He smirks and takes a slow bite of his own donut while we take in the sounds of the market around us. Even in our quiet corner of the market, the sound of a lute and muffled laughter drift through.

  I dust the powdered sugar from fingers as I glance around at the other stalls. One stops me immediately. There’s a narrow shop tucked away between two buildings, its door propped open revealing richly colored crystals.

  I stand quickly.

  “Can we go look?” I ask, pointing to the shop.

  Alexios’s eyes follow my finger as he shifts to look inside too.

  “Of course, we can. Anything for you.”

  He stands up too, following me as we make our way towards the shop. The closer we get, the more I see. There’s raw chunks of rose quartz and amethyst, and even a few small bowls of stone arranged by color.

  As we walk in, Alexios stays close, but he doesn’t rush me while I browse.

  “Do you see anything you like, beloved?”

  My fingers are pulled to a shallow bowl filled with oval stones, immediately grabbing one the color of ocean water. I hold it up to the light to get a better look at the blue-green color and see cloudy swirls inside too.

  “It’s beautiful,” I exclaim quietly.

  Alexios leans in to study the stone, but I know he’s appraising more than just the color.

  “Not quite as beautiful as you,” he says simply before stepping back to let me continue browsing.

  As I move further down the table, he moves to another display. I don’t look back at him until I hear the clinking of coins. He’s handing something small to the shopkeeper and before I can ask what he bought, it’s being wrapped in dark velvet and tucked into his pocket.

  “You’ll find out later, my love.”

  I raise an eyebrow.

  We leave the shop and the sounds of the market rush back in. Alexios reached over to take my hand again before we step into the crowd, but as we browse the nearest stall, I see the smiles of a few vendors fall when they see Alexios.

  He doesn’t say a word to them, choosing to stand closer to me in his black robe as the lantern light makes the silver in his hair shine like a sharpened blade. One of the vendor’s eyes drop quickly to her table.

  Even these days, it’s rare to see a drow above ground. Alexios must look like a man who’s stepped out of a story meant to frighten children. It’s not too different than what I thought the first time I saw him.

  When we step away, I see another smirk on his face.

  “I’m assuming they’ve never seen my kind before, hmm?”

  “Maybe you should smile more,” I tease.

  “This is me smiling,” he says, deadpan.

  I let out a laugh, simply because I know better. I’ve seen him smile so brightly at me that it almost makes this version seem like a lie.

  A few stalls later, a woman selling silk scarves goes still as soon as Alexios approaches. Her hand stills over the fabric, but he ignores it completely. He drapes a deep blue scarf over my shoulders to see how it looks before buying it without a second thought.

  I’m starting to notice another pattern now as we make our way down to a candy maker selling candied almonds wrapped in paper cones. The merchants here will talk to me, but they look at him like they aren’t sure if he’s here to buy something or burn the market down all by himself just because. But even with the side glances directed his way, Alexios’s focus never strays from me. He takes time to adjust the scarf so it sits just right around my shoulders and neck before making sure I don’t get overwhelmed by the crowd.

  It feels like a relief when we find other merchants who are more curious about Alexios than cautious again. One man even meets his eyes and offers him a discount after he admires a glass ornament in the shape of a crescent moon.

  We decide to drift away from the market, finding a narrow lane that opens up into a small courtyard with a stone bench placed under a willow tree. When we sit, we watch the small flicker of lanterns floating in the branches.

  Then Alexios reaches into his coat to pull out the small item he bought in the crystal shoop.

  “This is for you, my dear.”

  He places it in my palm and when I unwrap it, I find a ring.

  The band is a simple silver one, but it’s polished smoothly with a small, clear crystal placed neatly in it.

  I look up at him with a gasp.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “Arcanists say this type of quartz protects the person who wears it.”

  I make an attempt not to cry right now. I know he isn’t exactly proposing, but it feels overwhelming all the same.

  “You didn’t have to…”

  “It was made for you,” he cuts in. “I wanted you to have something that works even when I can’t be there.”

  I look down at the ring again. Slowly, I slip it onto my finger.

  It fits perfectly.

  “Thank you,” I whisper in awe. This simple gesture weighs more than the metal itself.

  “I’d like to put an even nicer ring on your finger one day, if you’ll allow it.”

  My eyes widen as heat floods to my cheeks before I can even stop it. My glassy eyes are suddenly fascinated by the gentle swaying of the tree branches around us.

  “I…” I start, but… what am I even supposed to say to that?!

  My thoughts are an utter mess now. First, it was him calling me his husband in the study and now it’s the feeling of the ring sitting snug on my finger.

  When I finally face him again, Alexios is looking at me smugly, like he knows exactly what he’s doing.

  But he doesn’t say anything else about it as his fingers tangle into with mine.

  Eventually, we make our way back to the busier part of the market, listening to the soft melodies of music carried through the breeze. It’s different than the livelier music from when we first arrived.

  The open space in front of the bards has practically become a dance floor with couples laughing softly as they sway together.

  Alexios slows down, turning to offer his hand without another word.

  I place my hand in his and he guides me into an open space, drawing me close against his warm chest. He keeps his palm rested at my lower back while the other stays holding mine.

  He moves slowly, hand guiding me easily to match the flow of the other dancers. I follow without thinking.

  “Look at us,” he says softly. “I think we’re finally getting better at this.”

  I smile against his chest, letting him lead me while the rest of the world falls away. My tail swishes softly, matching the flow of the flute playing.

  Alexios’s fingertips run down my side as we turn and then without breaking our rhythm, he leans down and kisses me, neither of us caring who sees.

  When we pull back, a few people have stopped walking entirely to watch us dance together. Alexios doesn’t seem to notice them. Well… maybe he does, but he certainly doesn’t care. He gives me another kiss, placed right on the tip of a horn, as we continue moving together like no one else even exists around us.

  The music fades later and both of us find ourselves drifting towards the edge of the market. Our path to the carriage is lit up by scattered lanterns until they thin out entirely, letting the moonlight guide us now.

  Before we make it to the carriage though, Alexios stops, his hand still in mine.

  “There’s a lake nearby,” he says casually. “Would you like to sit under the stars for a while longer?”

  I nuzzle into his arm and give a small nod.

  We step off the path and into a clearing where the lake is waiting for us in its still and dark beauty. The moonlight makes the gentle ripples of water look like liquid silver. Somewhere in the distance, frogs are croaking out their songs.

  Alexios stands beside me as both of us look out at the reflection of the moon in the water.

  “This is gorgeous, Alexios.”

  “It reminds me of you,” he whispers. “Look at how calm it is on the surface, but underneath? There’s more there than anyone else sees at first glance.”

  I can’t look away from the water now, even as the blush on my cheeks deepens. Alexios steps closer to lead me down to the water’s edge, eventually sitting down on the bank.

  We watch ripples move from where a frog leaps off a lily pad and into the water. Alexios leans back on one hand, keeping the other resting on my knee.

  “I like seeing you at peace,” he speaks softly. “I want to make you feel like this all the time.”

  I look up at him and find him already looking at my lips. Not even a second later, he’s closing the distance, finding my lips with his own in a soft kiss.

  I can’t help but lean into it, especially when he deepens it. His hand slides up from my knee to my inner thigh and I reach over to lightly to press at the front of his pants, feeling the clear trace of his arousal already there.

  I feel his smile against my lips as his other hand traces down my neck and to my hip before pulling me halfway into his lap.

  Alexios’s lips are warm against mine and just as I move to straddle him completely, grinding my hips against his, he suddenly pulls away.

  “Wait, my love.”

  My tail stops swishing behind me, drooping slowly in disappointment. I can see the hunger in his eyes, pupils blown wide with lust, but there’s something else there too.

  “Did… did I do something wrong?” I ask quietly.

  “No,” he answers quickly. “But I don’t think we should carry this any further right now.”

  What?

  It’s unlike Alexios to refuse sex.

  “I…”

  My head drops, words lost.

  “Look at me,” he says, hands softly grabbing my cheeks to pull my face back up to him before placing the softest touch of a kiss on my nose.

  “We shouldn’t right now. Not after what almost happened, my love. I want you to feel safe again.”

  “I do feel safe,” I cut in, moving my hips so that he can feel my arousal too. The soft brush of it sends Alexios’s eyes rolling back in pure want.

  “Completely safe, Arun.”

  I look away, a bit frustrated but I do understand where he’s coming from. He just wants to protect me, doesn’t he?

  Alexios helps me move off his lap before running a hand through my hair.

  “Are you… mad?” I ask, worried about the answer.

  He huffs softly.

  “How could I ever be mad at you?”

  I pull my legs in close, shrugging before resting my head on my knees.

  “I just… I know how much you crave… physical touch,” I acknowledge softly.

  “Arun, look at me.”

  I do and I find not a single trace of disappointment in his burning red eyes.

  “Believe me,” he continues. “I can’t get enough of you. If I could, I’d never let you leave the warmth of our bed, but… it would be wrong of me take you when you’re still healing from… that.”

  He’s right. I know he is.

  Even though I crave him just as badly right now as evident by the arousal pressing against the front of my pants, I know memories of being trapped in the conference room would come back to haunt me.

  I can’t allow that to poison me any further.

  “Are you upset with me?” he asks.

  I smile softly, shaking my head.

  “Good,” he sighs out in relief. “You’re just… you’re everything to me, Arun. Sit with me for a while, hmm?”

  I lean in to capture his lips with my own before leaning into his chest again, listening to the croaks of the frogs and gentle ripples of the lake.

  --

  By the time Alexios and I make our way back to where the carriage waits patiently for us, the light from the lanterns has faded. When the driver opens the door, Alexios helps me in first, his hand reluctantly letting me go as I step in. Once I’m settled in, he climbs in after me, shutting out everything else with the thud of the carriage door.

  He slips a strong arm around me to pull me into his chest and I go willingly, tucking myself just below his chin.

  “Are my horns hurting you?” I ask, shifting around a bit.

  I hear him laugh softly.

  “I don’t mind,” he whispers as he tucks my head right back where it was. “Let them.”

  I smile, closing my eyes and letting the steady motion of the carriage and Alexios’s warmth guide me into a nap.

  Before I realize it, we are rolling back through the gates of Blackwood Plantation. Alexios steps out first before turning back to me, placing one arm beneath the backs of my knees and the other around my back.

  He lifts me effortlessly out of the carriage, setting me down on the ground softly.

  We both can’t help but laugh at the sweet gesture.

  As we make our way inside the manor and up the stairs to our bedroom, Alexios keeps his fingers entwined with mine as we walk quietly through the hallway.

  We move through the usual motions of undressing and bathing together before slipping beneath the warm sheets. He immediately pulls me into him so that my back presses against his chest and his arm can wrap around my waist.

  “You are so loved,” he whispers, sleepiness obvious in his low voice. “More than I can ever put into words.”

  My hand comes up to rest over his.

  My Alexios.

  His admission leaves my throat tight, so I grip his hand tightly, hoping this is enough of an answer for right now and his arm tightens in response.

  “I mean it. My heart belongs to you and you alone. I’ll make sure you never have reason to doubt that.”

  I close my tear-filled eyes, pressing back further to let the warmth of his body guide me into a gentle rest.

  waits more than a year and a half to confess how much he loves Arun