“Thad, snap out of it! You’re being…”

  I’m going to die in the Astral space, I’m going to—

  …

  Thadwick felt useless. Not that this was a new feeling. It had always been there, gnawing at him as he watched the world move forward without ever thinking of bringing him along.

  There was no point.

  He’d never contributed anything to anyone.

  And everyone knew that. He could see it in their eyes when they talked to him. When their tone changed as they realized he wasn’t what they needed.

  Useless…

  He was useless. Worthless. A failure.

  And there was always someone to step in.

  To be the hero, to save the day from his actions. The person he could blame for taking away his chance to prove himself. But they weren’t really doing that, were they?

  They were just trying to help.

  And he’d hated them for it.

  He’d hated Thad.

  The way he’d fallen into his life. Showed him just how easy it could’ve been if he were kinder. More patient. Open to learning from his mistakes.

  How everyone had been so relieved he was different. That Thadwick was gone.

  Well, everyone, except one person.

  The person, now grieving for the very fact that he couldn’t escape Thadwick.

  Thad… no, the User, wanted to abandon him. Would rather take death than try to stay and help fix this mess… His mess.

  Thadwick’s jaw clenched.

  He’d really been trying.

  Fuck, he’d been trying so hard! And for what? So, the User could ditch him at the earliest convenience. Was that why the User had been so reckless?

  Why the User had asked what would happen if he died?

  It wasn’t because Thad cared about him. No.

  No one cared about Thadwick… They only cared about Thad.

  Thadwick’s throat grew tight as angry tears brimmed in his eyes.

  “Fuck him!”

  He didn’t need the User’s friendship. This was only a business arrangement after all.

  A contract.

  And he knew a thing or two about contracts.

  There were only two beds, which the three of them stared at.

  Making the first move, Thad strolled across the room and flung himself onto the closest one to the window with a contented sigh.

  “It’s going to be so nice to sleep in a bed.”

  Of course, he was excited, Neil thought. Thadwick had always called the bed whenever there was one. But then he did usually pay for the rooms.

  Guess some things never change.

  Neil turned to Dustin, holding his hand out to see who’d get the other bed. They tapped hands and then hid them behind their backs.

  “One, Two, Three.”

  Both threw out their hands, with Neil groaning as Dustin covered his with the parchment symbol.

  “Rock, Paper, Scissors…?” Thad mused, looking over at them, his boots now off, legs tucked under him.

  “Parchment, Quill, Ink,” Dustin corrected with a confused expression before turning to the loser. “And with that, Neil, you get the floor.”

  “Why would he get the floor?”

  “Because you have that bed and Dustin won fair and square,” Neil pointed out.

  “We can just share the bed, Neil,” Thad said, waving at the space beside him.

  “But—"

  “Would you rather sleep with me?” Dustin offered, patting his bed with a sultry look, only to receive a pillow to the face from Neil, causing the defender to let out a squawk of indignation.

  “The floor’s fine.”

  “Oh, come off it, Neil. If you're doing this out of obligation, there’s no need, and the bed’s made for leonids, so it’s plenty big,” Thad laughed as he reached over, grabbing Neil's hand, tugging him towards the bed.

  Neil’s heart somersaulted as he fell towards Thad, his hand catching the bed just in time to avoid landing on the nobleman outright, who looked rather surprised at the sudden closeness despite being the instigator.

  “Fine, if that’s what you want,” Neil said as he quickly straightened up and looked away, feeling the heat in his cheeks. And his blush, fortunately, went unnoticed as Thad became distracted by Dustin’s laughter and his refusal to share the reason for it.

  “About time,” came a weary voice. The boy looked terrible, huddled in a corner, surrounded by scattered books, his deep brown eyes red and puffy yet full of anger as he glared up at her with zero reverence for rank. “You’re here to fire me, right? Breach of contract… Dereliction of duty.”

  Mara Tia kept a schooled expression despite the rage boiling beneath the surface.

  This little brat.

  “Trying to void your contract is quite a bold move for someone in your position.”

  There was a small, sharp laugh.

  “You understand what happens if you’re relieved of it, right? What happens to you specifically?” Mara Tia asked, knowing full well her threat was nothing more than a bluff at this point.

  The builder had well and truly fucked her.

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  “Do it. It’s not like anyone’s going to miss me. Just make it fucking quick.”

  “You’re User—”

  “As if he cares!”

  Mara Tia looked at the young man and sighed. This really was karma, wasn’t it?

  “What about that girl?”

  This drew a reaction from the young man, who grimaced and looked away.

  Finally, something to work with.

  “I’m sure the User will think of something.”

  “Without you?”

  “He doesn’t need me!” Thadwick scoffed. “Nobody does.”

  “You can’t begin to imagine how wrong you are.”

  “Don’t patronize me!”

  “It’s the truth,” Mara Tia said as she pulled off her tall heels and set them neatly on the ground, taking a seat beside a very confused Thadwick. “I wish it weren’t, but then, here we are.”

  “You wish it weren’t!”

  “Oh, shush, I’m allowed a moment to vent. Just like you.”

  Thadwick went quiet at this, unsure what to say next to the diamond ranker sitting beside him. The silence was present for a while before Mara Tia spoke again.

  “Tell me why you think the User doesn’t care.”

  “Why?”

  “Why not? You’ve somewhere else to be?”

  “Aren’t you going to fire me?”

  “You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Mara Tia said, with a grin. “Though I don’t think I’m in the mood to give you what you want. You’re spoiled enough.”

  Thadwick's mouth went into a hard line as he stared at her. But this wasn’t the first time Mara Tia had dealt with a man like this.

  In fact, for better or worse, she found herself rather incapable of stepping back from any challenge thrown her way. It’d gotten her in hot water many times before. But that had been years ago, and the boy in front of her, while stubborn, had a streak of self-inadequacy that made him brittle.

  All she needed was time, which turned out to be two minutes of silence.

  Thadwick leaned his head back against the wall with a frustrated sigh.

  “The User asked what would happen to me if he died.”

  “A very uncaring gesture, indeed. How dare he?”

  “You’re not funny!”

  “Am I not?” Mara Tia asked with a smirk. “My apologies, it’s been a rather testing day. Please continue, Thadwick dear.”

  She watched the young man frown but look away, a sadness in his aura that she’d planned for. It was how his mother referred to him after all, and she planned to use that vulnerability.

  “…He wanted to leave. Abandon everything.”

  “Abandon you?” Mara Tia asked. “Just like you were about to abandon him?”

  “That’s different… he’d be better off without me.”

  “Bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Fearing that a person will leave you. Then, leaving them instead. Very permanent solution. Also, did the User ever say he planned to abandon you?”

  “He might as well have.”

  “But did he?”

  Thadwick went quiet and lightly toed at a book. “Not exactly.”

  “No?”

  “He thought that if he died, he’d get to go home!” Thadwick exclaimed, his jaw clenching, as he took an unnecessary shaky breath. “I saw every thought. How much he was clinging to that hope.”

  “If I gave you a choice to stay here or go back to your old life, which would you choose?”

  “What? You can do that?!” Thadwick asked, hope coming into his eyes, before he paused. “What would happen to Thad?”

  “Does it matter?”

  Thadwick ran a hand through his hair. “… He would die, wouldn’t he?”

  “What’s your choice?”

  Thadwick let out a beleaguered sigh and ran his hands over his face. “I’m such a hypocrite.”

  Mara Tia nodded as she stood up, gaining a scowl from the young man beside her.

  “May I give you some free advice?”

  “I feel like you will, regardless of whether I want it or not.”

  “It’d be more convenient for me if you took it.” Mara Tia said, sliding her heels back on. “But I don’t wish to overwhelm your limited capacity for personal growth all in one day.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be nice to me?”

  “Shouldn’t I be firing you?” Thadwick’s mouth shut at this, causing Mara Tia to laugh. “What I was going to say is that you’re chasing the unobtainable. Especially as an administrator for the Reaper.”

  “The unobtainable?”

  “Yes. Everyone will leave you one day, either through someone’s choices or death. There’s no preventing being abandoned.”

  “But, if that's true, then how can I—"

  “The key thing you’re missing, dear, is presence and gratitude for the time you have with others. It’s a gift, really. One I wish I’d savored earlier,” Mara Tia said with a small, sad smile, her eyes looking into the distance. Her mind in the past. “…time is truly relentless.”

  After dinner, Dustin had flopped onto the bed fully clothed, knocking out almost instantly. This had made Thad laugh as he started pulling off layers, folding them neatly, and placing them on the small table at the center of the room.

  Neil couldn’t help but watch. His brain supplying him with reminders of the bathhouse, of what those clothes covered. And by the time Thad was done, he was down to a sleeveless linen shirt and underwear.

  He turned to Neil, lifting an eyebrow.

  “You sleeping like Dusty?”

  “Oh, no, one second, I’m just going to… be right back.” Neil rambled as he walked to the washroom and shut the door behind him, leaning against the wood.

  “Ok, well, night then,” Thad called through the door.

  Neil caught his reflection in the mirror, seeing how red he looked, and let out a frustrated groan.

  How could he keep living like this? How could he handle the heart palpitations and the nervousness he felt when Thad watched him work? The way he was fascinated by the man's new approach to casting spells. How his unmitigated joy came through when things worked out. That stupid smile he was beginning to cherish.

  And now, he was about to share a bed with the man who was endlessly flustering him.

  “This can’t be happening,” Neil whispered to himself, walking over to the sink and turning on the cold water, feeling it run over his hands, before scooping it over his face, then rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

  He looked back at the mirror.

  “You’ve got to keep it together. Thad doesn’t feel the same way; you’re just working yourself up for nothing.” He admonished himself as he started to change clothes. Only to stop and think about how Thad had looked back at him, the way he’d bitten his lip slightly.

  By the time he’d finished, Thad was under the covers, and the glow stones dimmed.

  Neil slid into bed, feeling the slight warmth from his bedmate on the other side. Mentally cursing himself as his brain started to provide lines of thought he didn’t need to follow, and he turned away from Thad, who shifted slightly beside him, his foot lightly grazing his leg.

  I’m not going to sleep at all. Neil lamented to himself as he lay there, listening to his teammates breathe peacefully in sleep.

  They sparred in an empty training hall. Thad teleported just out of reach with a smirk, golden eyes trailing down the elf’s body, then back up in a slow, deliberate pace.

  “Have you decided yet?” The young noble asked with that stupid grin.

  “Decided what?”

  “What you want to do with me… what you want to ask me.”

  Neil lost sight of him for a second, only to have a breathy whisper play across his ear from behind as a shiver ran through him.

  “You know, I would’ve thought you’d have pinned me down by now. Can tell you’re aching too. Can sense it in your aura.”

  Neil felt the man’s hand trail down his chest, undoing buttons, before it lingered on the top of his thigh.

  “Your aura control’s gotten better, but it’s not that good.”

  “Maybe, but I know one thing I’m good at.”

  Neil spun on his heels only to have arms lightly draped around his neck, Thad leaning against his partially exposed chest, a smug smile playing across his lips as he looked up at the elf.

  Neil’s hands found the young man’s waist, a shaky breath releasing as he watched Thad’s gaze lower to linger on his lips.

  “You would be ok with this… with us?” Neil asked, earning him a confused smile.

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “You don’t really do these sorts of things… it doesn’t feel… real.”

  “Does this—”

  Neil’s eyes snapped open as light from the two moons poured in through the inn's window, and he let out a slow, deliberate breath as reality set in along with the position he now found himself in.

  Unlike what he’d initially thought, he’d been able to fall asleep.

  And that’d been a mistake for two reasons.

  One, Neil had unconsciously pulled Thad flush against himself. Which, surprisingly, hadn’t woken up the other man, who was still sleeping deeply. His face perfectly relaxed as a hand lingered on his exposed abs, his backside pressed against Neil’s muscular frame, amongst other things.

  Because two, in a significant act of betrayal, his body had responded rather enthusiastically to the dream and physical contact, and he almost let out a moan as Thad shifted against him in sleep. The friction, divine and mortifying, as his mind started to run wild. Supplying him with endless questions, in desperate want of answers.

  How would Thad’s breath feel catching against his ear?

  How would his lips look, kiss-bruised, as golden eyes gazed up at him through disheveled hair?

  Would he constantly talk while being unraveled?

  Neil hoped he would. He wanted to hear the moment Thad became far too gone for words.

  Gods, his body felt electric.

  Sharing the bed had been a terrible idea, and now he was paying the price for going along with it.

  He needed to leave and go meditate.

  Neil tried to unwrap himself from the other man. Only to mentally curse himself as he watched Thad’s face scrunch up a bit as he shifted further against the elf, causing him to stifle a groan. The young noble’s hair lightly brushed against him, making the elf want to bury his face into the other man’s neck as he smelled a hint of wildflowers.

  He had no idea how he’d explain this situation. Would he play it off as an accident? Did he want to?

  He was so screwed.

  Fuck it, he was getting up, and gods willing, Thad would just sleep through it.

  Neil quickly sat up and went to stand out of bed, only to freeze, his breath catching, as he felt a hand lightly take hold of his.

  “You getting ready for work?” came a groggy voice, as Neil looked to see Thad still very much half asleep.

  “What, work? No, go back to sleep.”

  “Kay, love you.”

  Neil felt like his heart stopped as Thad’s hand slipped out of his, falling back onto the bed.

  “Did you just...?”

  There was no response.

  The menace had fallen back asleep.

  Had he really heard those words? Had Thad meant them? Should he wake him back up?

  This was all too sudden. He liked Thad, no question there, but he wasn’t sure if he was in love with him… and if he were, he wouldn’t admit that any time soon. He wasn’t Dustin after all.

  Thad fighting with his electricity! legit super pumped how this one turned out!

  a thirst trap of Jason for all of you who are frustrated that this slow burn is taking forever!