As we delved deeper into the catacombs, I began to find new rarer materials. A soul crystal here, web silk there, and a big pile of poop. Wait, that wasn't poop. It was a slime. A tarry black slime.

  The system identified it as an oil slime. I assumed it meant crude oil. What an incredible find! Crude oil in a dungeon? How lucky could one be? And then Valda's mace splattered it on the ground. The rest of the tiny slime stuck to her mace.

  "Hey," I said. "Let me have that."

  "Why?" she said. "It's gross, and it smells terrible!"

  "Please?" I said. "I can make stuff out of it."

  "Fine," she said, "here you go."

  She peeled the squashed slime off her mace and placed it in the bag I was holding open. Nice. With that secured, we carried on. There were more of the little shits.

  Valda squashed them left and right and I put them in bags, but my pack became full very quickly. I had stopped saving room and just kept putting more and more oil slimes in, recognizing the value of crude oil in a fantasy world.

  With the right equipment, I could do all kinds of things with it! I could make gasoline, rubber, plastic, diesel fuel, jet fuel, heating oil, propane and butane, asphalt, lubricants! The list continues, but I'm not going to exhaust it.

  What I really needed, though, was one of those endless bags that could contain infinite items and you could somehow pull out the right item every time you searched inside the bag.

  That was probably far off into the future, though, considering it was some form of magical engineering. Enchantment? Probably enchantment. If I was being honest with myself, what I needed was something new and exciting in my life.

  I didn't want to just make the same modern conveniences in this world as there were in the last one. Some of them would be fantastic to have, like the crude oil, but I needed magic in my life, for lack of a better term to describe it.

  You know what? That's what I was going to do. I wasn't just going to make old stuff in my new world, I was going to make something magical! I'd be a tinkerer, or an artificer, or an enchanter!

  Create wonderful items that bring joy back into my life. Being a civil engineer in my past life, I was tired of building infrastructure. Modern conveniences in a modern world.

  Magic was my answer! Magic itself would bring magic into my life! I just needed to reach out and grab it. And with this maker class, I'm pretty sure I could do it. I'd have to check my proficiencies, but if the class gave me proficiency in all crafting disciplines, then tinkering, artifice, and enchantment should already be available to me.

  My bag was full, though, so we needed to head back. A bag of holding is what I needed, and that was the first thing I was going to make!

  "Valda," I said, "I can't carry anymore stuff. Let's get out of here."

  The tiny slimes swarmed us and attached themselves to our feet. It became very hard to move. Thinking quickly, I took out a canteen and poured water on them. They dissolved in the water. I could see them still sort of moving around, but they were floating on top of the water, rather harmlessly.

  I poured more water at Valda's feet and we escaped. As we were leaving and taking the path back that I had kept track of in my notebook, we began to hear rattling bones coming from in front of us.

  Lifting my torch, which I luckily didn't drop on the highly flammable slimes, we saw a horde of skeletons ahead. They must have come from one of the other tunnels we didn't go through.

  I handed Valda a stamina potion, and she drank it down. She looked ready to pummel some skeletons. These skeletons were wearing armor and carrying Delphian steel blades. They wouldn't be as easy as the first ones.

  Valda, however, was not to be outdone. She charged and raised the mace above her head. It glowed yellow and when she brought it down, there was a small explosion when it hit the ground. The swing itself took out three skeletons at once, and then the explosion took out the legs of several others.

  She did it several more times, and then called out to me.

  "Potion!" she said.

  I tossed her a stamina potion as carefully as I could and she caught it easily. She stepped back from the recovering skeletons and drank it, renewing her energy. Then she did the glowing yellow move three more times, and the skeletons were toast.

  I must have had my mouth open because she cheekily put her finger under my chin and closed my mouth for me.

  "What?" she asked. "You've never seen an impact strike before?"

  "Uh, no," I said, "actually. I haven't. That was cool."

  I checked her level and stats. Her level was 4 already and Impact Strike was listed as one of her abilities now. She must have gained it when she leveled up. It must use up a lot of stamina to do, since she asked for another potion after just three blows.

  "Well," she said, "you better get used to it."

  She brushed imaginary dirt off her shoulder, like she was all that and a bag of chips.

  "Hey," I said, "I can do cool stuff too, you know. Just not on the battlefield."

  Stolen novel; please report.

  "I'd pay to see this," she said.

  "Ugh," I said. "Let's get back to the shop and we can talk about it over some coffee."

  "What's coffee?" she asked.

  "Oh, nevermind," I said. "Old habit. It's just a saying where my mother came from."

  "Oh," she said, "okay."

  "So what now?" she asked.

  She was eating a sandwich I made for her out of cured meat, because refrigerators hadn't been invented yet.

  "What do you mean?" I asked.

  I took a bite of my sandwich. It was dry. Mayonnaise hadn't been invented yet. Honestly, if I didn't just turn this place into the modern world except with magic by the end of this journey, I'd be disappointed in myself.

  Cheese had been invented, though. At least that was one luxury I had to look forward to. I couldn't afford it on a budget of zero coins, but I was hoping this trip and future trips would fix that.

  "I mean," she said, "are we gonna do this again or do we go our separate ways?"

  "I'd like to do this again," I said.

  "Me too," she said.

  I finished my sandwich.

  "So are you just going home now?" I asked.

  "Yeah," she said, "about that. I don't have a home anymore. My parents disowned me."

  "Why?" I asked.

  "Let's just say we don't agree on a lot of things," she said.

  "Alright," I said. "I suppose you'll be wanting to stay with me then."

  "Would that be alright?" she asked.

  "Yeah," I said, "but I have a condition. You better be planning to stay, because you'll become my siblings second mother, and if you leave, they'll be crushed."

  "I have nowhere else to go," she said. "Where would I leave to?"

  "If this works out the way I think it will," I said, "you'll have more than enough money fairly soon. Oh, and one more thing. You have to help me in the shop."

  "Deal," she said.

  "Good," I said. "Now, let's go to sleep."

  "Where?" she said.

  "At my house," I said.

  "Oh, right," she said.

  When we got to my house, my siblings were already asleep.

  "You're staying in my parents' room," I said. "I'll be staying in mine. I'll see you in the morning."

  "Okay," she said.

  She saluted me and walked off to my parents' bedroom.

  I was shaken awake by my brother Brent. And then Delia jumped on me.

  "Oh, Jesus!" I said. "What is it?"

  "Who's the lady in mother and father's bed?" Brent said. "Is she your girlfriend? Do you have a girlfriend? Why do you get a girlfriend?"

  "Who's Jesus?" Delia asked.

  "I can only answer one question at a time," I said. "She's a friend who's helping me with the shop. She has nowhere to go, so I figured since we have an extra room, she could stay here. Is that alright? Also, I don't know who Jesus is. It's just something I say."

  "Ok," Delia said, "I don't believe you."

  She grabbed her teddy bear from off my head and walked out of the room.

  "Yeah, that's fine," Brent said. "If she's not your girlfriend, can she be my girlfriend?"

  "I'm pretty sure that's not how girlfriends work," I said. "The other person has to want to be your girlfriend."

  "Oh," he said. "Well, how am I supposed to do that?"

  "I don't know," I said. "That's why relationships are hard to get. Now can we stop pondering life together? I have to make breakfast for three people now."

  "Oh, right," he said.

  He got off me and left the room.

  "Geez," I said.

  Delia poked her head back into my room.

  "Who's Geez?" she asked.

  "No one," I said. "It's just an exclamation."

  "Geez!" she said.

  She left again, but I could hear her walking away.

  "Geez! Geez! Geez!"

  "I guess it's a Monday," I said.

  They always had the most energy on Mondays, like their bodies knew it was the beginning of the week.

  I cooked breakfast and Brent and Delia sat around the table patiently waiting, but when I served out the plates, Valda wasn't sitting at the table.

  I opened the door to my parents' bedroom. Valda was still sound asleep. I flicked her forehead. She immediately opened her eyes and put a knife to my throat.

  "What are you doing?" I asked.

  That knife felt sharp. Where did she even get a knife? I didn't give her one.

  "Defending myself," she said.

  "First, you expect me to take advantage of you," I said, "and then you defend yourself with a knife like I'm about to take advantage of you. Make up your mind, woman!"

  "Oh," she said. She put the knife away. "The knife isn't to defend against sex. I thought you were going to try to kill me. Well, not you specifically, but someone."

  "Huh," I said. "That says a lot about the life you've lived up to this point, but I'm not going to pry into that right now. I just want you to come eat breakfast with us."

  "Ok," she said.

  She didn't make any moves to get out of bed.

  "Are you coming?" I said.

  "Unless you want to see me naked," she said, "I'd suggest you wait outside."

  "Oh," I said.

  I waited outside until she opened the door.

  "Hey, you haven't been sexually assaulted or anything, have you?" I asked.

  "No," she said. "Why?"

  "Oh, good," I said. "The way you talk suggests that."

  "Oh," she said. "I'll try to talk different then?"

  "Thanks," I said.

  I walked down the hall and into the kitchen. That was probably an unreasonable thing for me to ask, but my nerves were fried at that point. I barely slept, got assaulted by my siblings, and then had a knife held to my throat by someone I let stay in my house. Give me a break.

  "Hi!" Delia said.

  She waved at Valda, who was sitting right next to her.

  "Hi," Valda said. "Nice to meet you both. I'm Valda."

  "Hi, Valda!" Brent said. "Are you Gwen's girlfriend?"

  "Who?" Valda said.

  And then I realized I messed up. In all that time, I hadn't told her my name. She told me her name, and I just didn't say mine. Maybe I was being self conscious.

  "Uh, me," I said, sheepishly.

  "Your name is Gwen?" she said.

  I could tell she was about to laugh, and then she shut it down and her face went placid.

  "No comment. Also, no, Gwen is not my girlfriend."

  "That's not what he," I said. "You know what? Nevermind."

  We all sat around the table and ate breakfast in perfect silence, except for when Brent or Delia blathered about something random. So, not silent at all, basically. I would dictate what they said, but it's genuinely not relevant to the story, so I will refrain.

  Nothing interesting happened. I would have called it a boring morning if someone didn't kick my door in.

  Stats:

  Strength: 5

  Dexterity: 4

  Constitution: 3

  Wisdom: 4

  Intelligence: 6

  Charisma: 2

  Resources:

  HP: 65 hit points

  MP: 120 mana points

  Stamina: 65 stamina points

  Proficiencies:

  Bartering: Apprentice (3)

  Appraisal: Apprentice (3)

  Repair: Apprentice (3)

  Alchemy: Journeyman (4)

  Blacksmithing: Journeyman (4)

  Enchanting: Apprentice (3)

  Tinkering: Apprentice (3)

  Woodworking: Apprentice (3)

  Artifice: Apprentice (3)

  Leatherworking: Apprentice (3)

  Stoneworking: Apprentice (3)

  Glassblowing: Apprentice (3)

  Textiles: Apprentice (3)

  Papermaking: Apprentice (3)

  Pottery/Ceramics: Apprentice (3)

  Jewelcrafting: Apprentice (3)

  Inscription: Apprentice (3)

  Brewing: Apprentice (3)

  Cooking: Apprentice (3)

  Herbalism: Apprentice (3)

  Architecture: Apprentice (3)

  Engineering: Apprentice (3)

  Shipbuilding: Apprentice (3)

  Cartography: Apprentice (3)

  Ritual Magic: Apprentice (3)

  Calligraphy: Apprentice (3)

  Painting: Apprentice (3)

  Sculpture: Apprentice (3)

  Spellcrafting: Apprentice (3)

  (And More)(Far too many to fully list)(Will come up in the story as they become relevant)

  Abilities/Spells:

  Analyze: Ability to analyse people, objects, and creatures, and learn information about them, such as identification, classification, level, abilities, health, etc.