Huh, things were going a little too well on my part. I had thought that the invaders would put up a bit more of a fight since they’d undergone significantly more Trials than my own batch of humans, but… they just keeled over and died en masse. Where were the epic battles between staff and Aspirant? I mean, I was glad that the staff were more or less unharmed, but I was half expecting a cool showdown. I didn’t even get to deploy the sausage dogs or use some of the cool new traps that I had access to.

  Although I did have a few things I wanted to clarify with Molly when I saw her again. That stupid lizard she brought back with her on our excursion was fucking certainly that stupid Calamity thing we accidentally caught. I knew her curse or whatever it was failed to contain it, and she had the gall to assure me that she knew what she was doing. At least the lizard thing was looking happier and healthier than when I last saw it.

  I shook my head and sighed. Why were these Aspirants so pathetic? These bizzaro, alternate dimension humans had their spirits drained almost within the first half hour of being integrated as guests. Hell, there wasn’t even any staff around during those first half hours unless one of them screwed up and broke a rule. Even when they were forced to fight back with the trespassing clause that I added, they still did little more than flee like cockroaches. Seriously, how’d these dudes and dudettes even make it this far?

  “My Host,” Noe said, “I believe that you are grossly overestimating the resolve and mental strength of the average human. Your friends are abnormal, not just in Pandora, but in the entire world, and I don’t need to remind you that your own perceptions of normalcy have been greatly affected by your Xollon anatomy.”

  I mean, that’s fair, but still… this is kind of pathetic, no?

  “This specific dimension was ill-suited to humans, dear Walter, and that was before you freed Hope’s Memorial from its shackles. The pain and anger of the staff and building after an eon of abuse have been made manifest, and these Aspirants are the first to feel its wrath.”

  Is it really that bad? I don’t feel anything here… wait… I concentrated and furrowed my brows. No, there’s a change, but it’s like Hope’s Memorial got a little more inviting? Like I was in the heart of a comfy room, safe from the elements.

  “That is because you are beloved by the hospital, dear Walter, quite literally,” Noe explained. “The ridiculous backstory you gave should have clued you in on that fact.”

  I recalled what I had said when I first came here and winced. Yeah… Hope’s Memorial certainly loves me quite a bit if it thought everything I said was true. But like, how does one even go about dating a building? How does one fu- I shook my head. You know what, never mind, I don’t want to know.

  “That is a good idea, Walter, it is best to purge such thoughts from your mind.” Noe chided, “But as I was saying, the mental pollution that they are suffering from by simply staying in the hospital would be agonizing, so the fact that some of them have survived in that environment for close to 4 hours is already impressive.” Noe sighed. “Now please concentrate on your job as the vice director. The trespassers are all but eliminated, and the surviving batch are arriving at the safe houses.”

  I nodded and turned my attention back to the invaders. From the almost 3000 guests that had first entered, they were down to a pitiful 591. The vast majority of the casualties were due to the absolute slaughter that happened in the reception lobby; the Director’ll be quite pleased with all the new parts she can work with once she’s back.

  I had to scrap a few of the other challenges I had in store for the group because I was afraid that they’d all be wiped out before every staff member could be given a chance to vent their anger. Part of my promise to them was that they could finally fight back against the invaders, and I planned to keep that promise. The chefs and servers who worked diligently to provide good, nutritious food to the staff here needed to have some fun as well, and I only hoped that they’d spare a few for the others when they were done.

  Ultimately, to conserve numbers, what I did was to provide a refuge area where these weary, half-dead Aspirants could rest and collect themselves. With their numbers so low, I could afford to allow them time to recharge and plan ahead, but that didn’t mean that I’d ease up on the absurd rules. In fact, I had a whole new set of tasty, perfectly logical, and not at all abusive set of rules! The key, I’ve learned, was to have them make just enough sense that no one would bat an eye if they saw the same rules on Earth. Except you’d just get a stern warning at most on Earth instead of being sent to the processing plant here.

  To be honest, it was kind of fun playing the evil mastermind behind the scenes. No wonder all of my guild members were evil; it was just so much better to be bad!

  “Your moustache-twirling tendencies are showing again, my Host,” Noe said with a sigh. “You are developing an interesting habit as of late, but please remember to monitor the Aspirants. One of them’s about to succumb to the curse and staff should be notified before it’s too late.”

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Yeah, yeah. I know.

  And true to Noe’s words, I saw the patient in question. It was the frail man in the same party as the leader of the invaders, and the infection that the stupid Calamity thing hit him with had progressed to its final stages. From what I’ve seen from the other infected, the lizard was using a modified version of Molly’s little hair darts. The ones hit by it would have their entire bodies crawling with fine strands of the stuff, and once the infection hits the brain, they’d kind of spasm and scream incoherently.

  I wasn’t sure what they were experiencing after that, as my staff would get to them shortly after for treatment, but it didn’t look all too pleasant. The poor individuals who didn’t receive treatment in time died within 10 minutes, their bodies becoming bloated as they were unable to hold the growing mass of slithering hair. Before long, the growth would burst forth from every orifice of its victim, quite violently so, in an attempt to infect others. Thankfully that’s only happened twice. Let’s not make it a third time, the poor janitorial staff deserve better than to clean up that particular mess.

  I turned on the intercom and set it to nurse’s channel. “New guest’s about to go critical. I’ll need a staff on the corridor outside room 1103 stat.”

  The nearest staff member replied immediately, and I saw that a pair of nurses closest to the location moved with practiced ease. They arrived at the desired spot within half a minute, and took the thrashing and screaming man away. The other three members of their makeshift group barely acknowledged the scene. They simply stepped back to allow the nurses to do their work. They didn’t even pretend to care, so much for comradery.

  I made a final once-over to make sure that the other infected were still okay before continuing with the broader plan. The Aspirants were being herded into the cafeteria, right on time for lunch as well, and I had some fun things that I had in store for them there. The medical professionals had their fun, but it was now time for the other labor staff to enjoy their bonus. Still… I suppose I had to let a few of them go so that they’d lead the others inside; there was still close to a third of their focus in reserve outside after all.

  But how do I go about this…? Given the lifeless state that most of the Aspirants were in, I doubt they’d want to come back inside here once they got out. The only one with even a spark of defiance left was their leader. I could tell that he was planning something, but without a good idea of what he was capable of, I was a little hesitant to allow him to leave.

  “You needn’t worry that much, my Host,” Noe assured. “I have calculated every possibility from what I have seen from the gathered Aspirants so far, and I do not believe that they have any hope of defeating you here.”

  None?

  “It is never none, dear Walter,” Noe explained, “but the chances of their victory are so slim that it is essentially nonexistent. You are too used to being in a position of weakness, of being the underdog, but that is not the case now. You have the overwhelming advantage here, my Host, and I believe that their leader, one AJ, has made the error of assuming things without proper information or analysis.”

  Sort of like what happened to that sponsored dude back in the village?

  “Precisely like that. I would advise that you allow him a chance to escape and allow me to accelerate his delusions with the Absolute Luck Skill.”

  Alright, you know I trust your judgment in stuff like this. Let me fix the entrance a bit and let Vadeem know. Can’t have him fail his escape attempt and screw things up. I made the necessary adjustments and gave Vadeem the rundown of the new plan. Alright, Noe. Feel free to “assist” this AJ fellow and his friends.

  “Acknowledged.”

  My Luck Charges took a nose dive, going down to a pitiful 366 points, but whatever the hell Noe did was immediate. AJ’s group suddenly stopped what they were doing as if they were hit with some kind of invisible force. They went wide-eyed and started to fling magic at the air; I’m guessing that was the perception shard doing its thing, and they started to scramble off to the side in a panicked dash. They ran around seemingly at random for a solid five minutes, somehow avoiding all of the staff stationed around before they took a blind corner and accidentally slipped on a wet patch of ground.

  Amazingly - or perhaps not so much considering what Noe could do - their blind stumbling caused them to smash into a particularly weak segment of the wall, then into a particularly weak segment of the floor, and they fell right into the new hole that they caused. They fell right into the basement and into the lab that I had used to create Toby.

  Uh… why’d you send them there, Noe?

  “I do not know,” she responded. “Please remember that I do not have conscious knowledge of why the Luck Skill does what it does, but it has deemed that this is the best location to drop off the three Aspirants so that they may make their escape. It will be up to the three of them to find the exit. For now, I have designated this area as a hidden zone.”

  I sighed. Well, let’s be a little more lenient on the rules then and pray that they can make it out on their own. I can’t make it too obvious that I want them out of here.

  “I concur, but I believe in the abilities of the leader of the invading Aspirants. Without your meddling, they will find a way to persevere. The old medical facility is not too far from the courtyard, it shouldn’t take too much effort to escape.”

  I guess that was true. I remember the staff bringing over medical equipment and other materials when I was working on Toby, and I distinctly remember that the storage room was connected to various tunnels that led to the catacombs and, more importantly, the maintenance tunnels. Those lead to the outside since Hope’s Memorial used that passageway to resupply and transport miscellaneous materials.

  Noe was right, AJ and his two companions will make it out, maybe a little worse for wear, but they’ll manage. But just to be safe, I moved any staff lingering around the area to a new, safer space. The only things that would get in the way of the Aspirants now would be the rats, and I’m sure that they could fight off a few of those. It would be best if I paid more attention to the other guests.

  I felt a chilling smile creep up my face as I prepared the new set of rules. They were in for a rather rough time.

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