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Chapter: 152: Between Breath & Being

  Seo Jiwoo

  It started as a shallow tingle around my fingers, running along my forearm and reaching higher, until the same sensation was coursing through my entire body.

  I felt each nerve inside my body shook by a spark of lightning. A tremor ran along my mind, my mana worked and I coated myself in a thin layer of it, allowing my mind to focus, allowing my consciousness to integrate with the keystone in my palm.

  I sat crossed legged, concentrating to the maximum, cancelling out all noises from the outside, the sound of the humming lamps, the slightest shift from the breeze outside, even the sound of my own beating heart.

  I pulled my concentration to the multifaceted keystone, only its clean cut shapes, cold touch and the unknown message it wanted to give me, on that single thing I poured my all into.

  It had been little over an year since I last got this relic from Indra—with everything that’d happened in between, I didn’t a lot of chances to meditate with the Keystone—, knowing nothing about what this thing held, only vague answers that this was a piece of a map that would guide me to something bigger. Perhaps, a past that was sealed away long ago, or some insight that Primordial had intended for me to acquire.

  I still couldn’t find a good enough reason behind Primordial’s motives, I barely knew anything about this ghost of a man, who had been a key figure in the ancient war—also, being possessed by him out of nowhere.

  During my time training, I’d been looking for clues, a way I could access the keystone realm inside this relic again, but every time I was met with failure.

  But, in that I found, that perhaps the keystone had a way for me to enter willingly, because I was able to do so twice. Whenever I tried to sense the keystone, I felt like a wall was standing between it and me. But now, I could now very vaguely feel a faint aura around it, albeit for short bursts when I focused—it had only started recently—, it was barely perceivable. I had tested this theory with Camus, but he had told me he didn’t feel anything from the relic.

  To him, it was nothing but a dead rock. It had no pulse, no essence, but for some apparent reason, I was able to feel a strange attunement with the relic now.

  I sat there, fingers grazing the relic’s smooth angles, like I had a hundred times before. But this time, I didn’t look. I didn’t try to force it. I just…listened.

  My ears blocked all noises, and only searched for the relic’s silent hum.

  I continued on like this for hours, alone in my chamber. At times, I felt frustrated, annoyed over the relic’s lifelessness, but I persisted, feeling beats of sweat roll down my temples as I tried to pinch the keystone with my mana, wrapping it around the multifaceted shape like a warm blanket.

  I moved the mana through the shapes and lines that curved at its edges, feeling every small to big shift. My mana working as a beckon, guiding me through the layers of the keystone.

  I took another breath, feeling my brows squirm under the building frustration, when I finally caught on to something.

  Then it happened.

  Not a sound, not a flash. Just a flicker—like a breath drawn in reverse. One of the facets dulled for a heartbeat—not visibly, but like a muscle being flexed—like it recoiled from the world, and my chest tightened.

  There. That was it. That’s what I was looking for.

  I traced the edge of that facet—not with my hand, but with something else. My sense. My awareness. My consciousness.

  And for a moment, I felt it respond.

  Not welcome. Not hostility. Just…recognition.

  Then, everything broke.

  The world folded inward, I felt my mind being ushered through a tunnel of light, like a reflection sucked into the depths of a still pond. And I fell—not with my body, but with my self, until I found myself afloat inside a dark void.

  I looked around, feeling my connection with my body, the tether which held me to the physical realm. I could feel my limbs, my lungs, my heart, but, I moved my attention inward, feeling the keystone unravel, soon I found a burst of colour, dark shades of red, yellow, blue and green.

  I felt for my skills, they felt dormant, their presence there, but they were held by some force that didn’t give me access to them.

  It was like the times my skills were rendered useless in certain environments and places. Perhaps, this might a challenge of the trial inside this realm.

  But, I looked around, the mana filling this empty space, even if there was nothing, there was mana, it was filled everywhere in this place.

  I found it odd at first, that even without Mind’s Eye I was able to look at the raw form of mana.

  I moved through the space, like a grand hall creating way for me, I looked at the particles afloat around me, lazily moving with no intent behind their actions, but, certainly, they looked like following certain rules inside this realm cut off from the one outside.

  They didn’t move unintentionally, filling the space that was left unmarked by the mana that marched onward.

  I tried to think of what I needed to do. I tried to flex my mana, to move the particles, but they didn’t move, not even a nudge. They were stuck to their monotonous flow, the more I observed the more rigid it seemed.

  Normally, mana flowed like threads or scattered currents... but here, it circled tightly in place—an eddy caught in a loop, refusing to change or respond, like following something else’s movement and attuning to it.

  I took a deep breath, feeling my senses stretching in here, I again tried, not forcefully trying to move the mana, rather giving a slight touch to it, like forming something out of clay.

  It didn’t work...I murmured, not sure what I was even trying to accomplish with this.

  But, I didn’t give up. I tried once again, but with a different approach. This time, I felt my body relax, feeling it becoming one with the realm around me, I went with how the flow of the mana was moving, like a silent breeze moving past a tree.

  I didn’t know how long I kept doing this, but I tried to feel the flow, like a breeze gently trying to ripple a leaf.

  I already knew that unlocking the insight trapped inside this keystone wouldn’t be easy, but, even without knowing what I needed to do inside here was like trying to write, but without having an necessary tools to do so.

  I kept looking for that ripple, or shift in the mana inside there, but they were locked in that eddy motion, I could feel my body in the physical realm clearly taking a strain by being in here for a longer time.

  Wait...how come I’m even able to feel my body from the outside, when I’m inside the keystone realm? Even when I entered the keystone Vetustima gave me, it wasn’t a trial in the traditional sense of the keystones, but rather an item that was sealed away inside it.

  If I thought back on it, when I first time entered a keystone, back in the basilisk dungeon, rather I couldn’t feel anything from the outside, I wasn’t even aware of the fact back then what these keystones were.

  But, this time round, I was perfectly able to feel my body, not just the awareness that kept me steady to it, like a tether connecting me to the physical realm, but this felt like I was existing in both this realm and the one outside.

  Being in two places at once.

  I wasn’t just tethered to my body. I was in it. I could feel the ache in my legs, the sweat on my skin, like I was there and here. But how? Was this something the keystone wanted me to realize?

  If it was, then this might be the breakthrough I was looking for, for all this time.

  I stretched my senses, fully feeling control of my body, but it didn’t mean I could move it, I was still focused in here, my body was a motionless puppet, when I tried to move my mana from the outside, I felt a ripple run through this realm, and finally, the mana moved, responding in an irregular way that shifted my perspective for the first time in this pocket dimension.

  My breathing hitched for a split second, the air felt warmer one moment, cold next, the surrounding sounds, ripples and movements became even more clearer.

  I closed my eyes, feeling both the mana outside and the one inside, the burden of doing this finally catching up to me. This was the first time I was able to stay this long inside this keystone.

  I was seeing the outer world’s mana through the inner keystone lens.

  But that ripple… it didn’t stop here. It echoed outward, like a drop in still water. I didn’t just feel the mana shift inside—I saw outlines. Shapes. The skeletal patterns of enchantments from the world outside, flickering faintly like chalk drawings in the dark.

  It was simply an awareness, I was only able to make out of the mana that lingered around me, in shapes and sizes. But that was all I was looking for the time being.

  For the first time, I wasn’t just looking out from inside—I was seeing through. The mana outside, the energy stored in artifacts and even living things…they had distorted shapes which helped me understand the flow in here better.

  I did it again, moving mana and outlining the world outside as the realm inside flickered and shimmered, the mana moved with more intent, as if it knew what I was doing, willingly doing my bidding.

  I focused again, watching the way the mana responded when I stirred it from outside. The ripple I felt wasn’t random. It was structured, almost delayed, like it had to travel through layers before reaching here. I adjusted the tempo, slower, gentler…the reaction changed. Like a pulse learning how to sync with mine.

  But it didn’t feel like I was unlocking a door. It felt like I was brushing my fingers along a thread of silk strung between realities—and if I wasn’t careful, it’d snap.

  I moved deeper inside the realm, feeling my mind burning with curiosity. I tried doing many things with the mana to see how it responded, shaped it, changed its flow.

  I could feel the fatigue building up rapidly, but it was worth it. I tried to do another experiment.

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  But before I could dive deeper into that, something shifted.

  A backdrop appeared before me. I didn’t know where it had come from, but the moment I laid eyes on it, I felt it.

  A suction force, sudden and absolute.

  I was yanked forward, slammed against something rough and jagged. It wasn’t a wall, not exactly. It felt like one, but thicker, denser…alive. The sensation I had experienced when I first entered the keystone.

  The motion was slow. Excruciating. Like moving through honey filled with razors.

  But, this time it happened faster.

  A tug—then a snap.

  I was back at the wall that I’d seen first. Not for long this time. Just enough to feel the cold press of it again.

  I pressed, pushed, kicked—nothing.

  I was wedged inside it, a prisoner.

  I tried stretching my senses again, but even that was painful. Still, I could feel it—I still had control over my body outside.

  But everything was focused on the wall. This thing. This veil. And it wasn’t solid, just as I’d last seen it.

  I started noticing crevices. Cracks. More than before. Tiny gaps that spider webbed through the surface. And through them…

  And, I saw something.

  Through the cracks, a flash.

  A blur.

  Something shifted on the other side, moving—a ripple of colourless flame. No, not flame…shade. It was bright, so much so, I covered my eyes for a moment.

  A distorted blend of mana and demonic energy, moving like oil over water, folding and unfolding in impossible shapes.

  I recoiled.

  In that exact moment, my body jerked—and I was pulled out of the keystone, gasping.

  The keystone crumbled to the floor from my weak grip, my body unravelled from its meditative stillness, limbs collapsing like a marionette with cut strings. I crashed onto the cold floor, lungs clawing for air as though I’d surfaced from drowning.

  I used mana rotation, feeling that I had exhausted quite a lot of my mana just my keeping the keystone steady and with my experiments.

  I laid there, finally catching my breath, clearing my mind for the time being of the things weighing it. I moved to my bedside, the light from outside had changed to a shade darker.

  I might have been in there for hours. I thought, rising to my knees and taking the keystone in my palm. I looked at it, the multifaceted shape seem to reflect the light in different ways, like a mirror trying to show different images of the same thing.

  I felt the door opening from behind me, I didn’t need to turn to see it was Mordian. He moved gracefully inside, his robes waved slowly as he stopped a few feet away from me.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked, brows knitted it concern.

  I turned to him, shaking my head. “No, it’s nothing. Just testing the keystone.” I said, bringing the relic forward, feeling my limbs bare the weight of my fatigue, no better was my mind.

  I felt like it had been pierced by a nail. It was bearable, but it did sent a good wave of pain through me.

  “I made significant progress with the trial inside it. I was able understand a little about what the trial might be, but it’s just me testing the waters for now. I still have a long way to go.” I assured him with a smile, but right next second, I felt my body jerk, feeling weak in my knees.

  Before I could collapse, Mordian caught me in his grip, he was firm but gentle, holding me by my shoulders and helping me sit on the bed.

  I grabbed my temples, massaging them as I stored the keystone back into the inventory.

  “It seems entering this keystone takes a big toll on your mental capacity.” He said, his intent gaze studying me. “What did you find out?”

  I leaned against the wall behind me, taking a moment to recover before answering. “I think, the keystone has a more complicated situation then I first thought. I was able to feel full control of my body even when I was inside the separated realm, I wasn’t able to move, but I was still able to manipulate my mana in certain ways to make changes inside the keystone realm.” I pondered over each word carefully, Mordian listened with full interest.

  I looked up at the ceiling. “But, just as I was about to finish the last of my experiments, I was pushed against a wall—that’s how I can describe it, but it feels more like a construct, it feels like a veil, but more in a metaphysical sense. And there was something odd about it.” I said at the end.

  “Like what?” He asked.

  “I saw something beyond the wall this time—through its cracks that were more prominent.”

  Mordian took a chair by the desk inside the room and sat down. He seemed immersed in the topic, perhaps he could give a suggestion listening to my explanation.

  “Then, what did you see?” He questioned.

  I straightened my back, feeling slightly better now. “A flash of light. But the more odd part is the fact that both the mana and demonic energy were in a coherent sync. Like a distorted blend of the two forces, like oil over water.”

  Mordian’s brow arched, and for just a second—just one—his expression faltered. Surprise? Or something else. But it vanished as quickly as it came, replaced by that same unreadable calm he always wore. He looked at me for a good minute, perhaps thinking about something from the way his thoughts rushed. I could feel it.

  After a few more seconds he opened his mouth to speak. I could almost hear the gears turning in his head. “I believe what you saw was how the two forces worked with each other, their flow and connection, but also their resistance to the other. They both were moving alongside each other, in a synchronization to form harmony, but not crossing their boundaries and becoming something abnormal.”

  I nodded my head, surprised how Mordian had already formed a coherent answer from my explanation.

  But, my expression suddenly shifted, Mordian had caught on to what I was thinking.

  My eyes narrowed slightly. “Then…maybe it’s teaching me. The way these forces work together. Like it wants me to understand how they align…or how they’re supposed to work with each other despite their fundamental differences.” I breathed, holding Mordian’s gaze. “Because, so far, I’ve observed that mana and demonic energy are like two sides of the same coin, they both are different, but abide to certain boundaries to create this coaxed sense of harmony.”

  The moment I said it, Mordian’s gaze shifted—not with alarm, but a quiet, restrained tension.

  He didn’t speak. And that silence spoke more than any answer could. Perhaps, he withheld something from me, not sure why, but it could be a choice on his end.

  Something inside me whispered that I was close—but still missing something. A very important piece in this big puzzle. I thought I was seeing the full picture.

  But, I wasn’t. Not yet.

  But, what if I lose the thread I’ve just found?

  I withdraw the keystone from the inventory almost hesitantly, feeling its cold facets, curved with accuracy, refracting the light coming from outside. I clenched it tightly, feeling my mana move instinctively as I tried to trace the curves, but before I could, I felt Mordian’s hand grabbing my wrist.

  “Just by entering the keystone once left you in a mentally exhausted state, you should rest for a few hours before you enter again, or it could cause the damage to stack.” Mordian said placidly, his expression and tone was cold as usual, but I understood his point. “You may have made significant progress this time, but it doesn’t guarantee that you would next time.” His intent gaze bore on to me, after a breath, he continued.

  “Recklessly trying to find answers wouldn’t be good. Forcing yourself to gain the insight will only hinder your perspective over things that you only can see under a calmer lens.”

  His grip loosened over my wrist and I left the keystone vanish from my palm. I took a breath, massaging my temples more firmly, feeling my vision blur a little.

  “I know you want to unlock whatever insight that might be locked inside that keystone—time may not be on our side all the time—, but first take note of your own interests.” His tone turned more stern. “Take your time. But, don’t forget the real reason behind these trials.”

  I nodded along his words, sighing in defeat as he pulled back. I moved off of the bed, slightly pulling the sheets, my feet touched the floor and I took my boots placed to the side.

  For a heartbeat, I felt Mordian hesitate—glancing at me, finding a change of topic. He crossed his arms, standing close to the doorframe. “How are your preparations for the duel tomorrow? You think you can hold yourself against Beatrix?”

  I turned to him with a loop-sided grin, giving him a knowing look. “I’m already excited for it. This will be my first proper fight in six months after I recovered from my condition.”

  Mordian’s expression changed with the faintest turn of his lips. “Glad to see you are in good shape now.”

  Mordian stepped away from the doorframe as I laced up my boots. Without a word, we moved toward the hallway beyond my chambers. The quiet was almost comforting, broken only by the sound of our footsteps echoing against the stone walls of the castle.

  As we rounded the corridor, I saw someone further down the hall—a flash of glossy black hair and a light gait. She was scribbling something on a parchment while walking, seemingly distracted.

  Lyressa.

  With her easy, almost mischievous personality, made it easy for me to interact with her. The carefree looseness to her stance, her chestnut eyes sparkling with an energy that made her stand out even as she scribbled on simple paper. She wore the same uniform as I last remembered in the orcen world.

  She looked up mid-step and blinked in surprise, before a warm smile lit up her face.

  “Well, well, if it isn’t the rising star of the realm,,” she said with a slight bow of her head, one hand resting on her hip. “Good evening, Jiwoo. And you too, Lord Astrionyx.”

  I smiled instinctively, glad to see her up and moving. The last time I’d seen her, she was barely conscious, her body broken after her encounter with Amanises. I was glad she was fine.

  “It’s good to see you walking again,” I said, stepping forward. “You’re in good health now?”

  She chuckled, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I wouldn’t say perfect—I still wince when I try to stretch too far—but I’m alive and functional, which is more than what I expected after being tossed around like a ragdoll by Seraphim-level nonsense. So yes… recovering nicely.”

  Mordian offered her a nod. “Your resilience is commendable.”

  “Ah, coming from you, I’ll take that as high praise.” She gave an exaggerated curtsy that didn’t match her soldier’s posture, but it made me grin.

  “What are you doing here, though?” I asked, curious. “Didn’t expect to see you in the castle today.”

  She raised the folded parchment in her hand and rolled her eyes. “Mandatory reports. The kind of glorified errands you get stuck with when you survive a battle but aren’t important enough to escape paperwork.—well, Beatrix makes us do it. Reporting to Lady Beatrix and Elder Ramus about troop recovery, logistics, and how many limbs we lost this time around. You know, cheerful things.”

  Then, her eyes narrowed slightly, mischievous.

  “Oh, and I heard a fun little rumour this morning,” she said, tapping the side of her head. “Something about a duel. Between you…and our ever-glorious War Goddess?”

  I let out a dry laugh and rubbed the back of my neck.

  “Yeah…something led to something else, and now I’m tied to a duel with your War Goddess,” I said with a wry grin.

  She clapped her hands once, delighted. “By the stars, Jiwoo! I leave you alone for a few months and you’re already challenging the untouchables? What’s next, tea with the ash’ari?”

  “Don’t tempt fate,” Mordian muttered, his tone was dry and emotionless, but I could feel his humour.

  Lyressa laughed again, full and unbothered. “Still, I’m genuinely impressed. Most people can’t even meet Beatrix’s gaze without feeling like they need to confess sins they haven’t committed yet. And you’re going to fight her? You’ve got nerves of steel or a death wish. Possibly both.”

  “I’ll let you know after the first clash,” I said, mirroring her smile.

  She stepped closer, arms crossed, and looked at me with a more serious expression this time—though the playfulness still lingered in her eyes.

  “Jokes aside…good luck. I know you fully recovered just recently, but if it’s something you want do, go for it, but, don’t push yourself too much. But, let’s hope the effort takes you somewhere worth the bruises. Beatrix doesn’t hold back. Ever.”

  I nodded. “I know. And I wouldn’t want her to.”

  She stared for a moment, then gave a playful salute and stepped back.

  “I’ll be watching. With snacks. And possibly a healing spell ready, just in case your bones do something dramatic.”

  Mordian exhaled through his nose—almost a laugh. I shook my head, still smiling, giving my bond a side glance.

  “I’ll see you then, Lyressa.” I said with a grin, holding my expression. “Perhaps, I’ll get a chance to see Beatrix’s full power.”

  Lyressa brought the document down and turned slightly. “Well, I hope to see a good match tomorrow. And, even the entire brigade Zero will be there to witness the duel, so prepare well.”

  “Sure,” I said back and we slowly parted our ways.

  I made way deeper into the castle with Mordian. We remained quiet, I could feel my thoughts build up, about the duel tomorrow, about the discovery I had made inside the keystone just now. Or how long will I have to stay in the elven world?

  But, I focused on the thing that mattered right now. It was my duel against Beatrix Runao.

  Suddenly, Mordian turned his head in my direction as we traced the way to the garden outside.

  I looked at him, unsure what he wanted to ask. After a moment of silence, he finally spoke and his words left me surprised. “Have you thought of a gift for Aurora?”

  I was stupefied for a second. Is this guy really Mordian? A cold, brooding dragon that didn’t care about anything, unless given prior importance.

  I placed my right fist on my left palm. He must be an imposter. I nodded in a funny way, and I could feel Mordian already reading me thoughts.

  I shook my head immediately and answered. “Since when did you care about gifts and birthdays?” My brows knitted as I narrowed my eyes at him.

  Mordian’s expression didn’t change by the slightest, his eyes peered at me and he spoke. “Is that not how you perform this custom on the day of someone’s birth? To give them gifts and congratulations with a banquet consisting of people closest to them?”

  I nodded, perplexed. “Yeah, sure. I mean... that’s how most birthdays are like...” I felt my brows knitted for a second.

  Mordian didn’t speak after that, he maintained his silence, as I remembered about the pouch of coins I had won from Ramus.

  I looked away after that, watching the pale sky turn a shade darker, pouring dim light into the corridor through the tall glass windows.

  A gift for Aurora, huh? With everything that was about to happen, or the things weighing down on me regarding the talk with the elders, the politics involving our realms, the idea felt…foreign. But maybe that’s exactly why it mattered. Maybe, amidst all this chaos, holding onto something simple—like giving someone a gift—was what made this moment human.

  I didn’t have an answer. But for the first time tonight, I wasn’t just thinking about the duel or the keystone.

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