[All connections to observers and gods have been severed.]

  I wriggled desperately in a feeble attempt to escape before the arms shifted behind me, merging together like clay until I felt only two, thin arms wrapped around my waist.

  “Peijin, my sweet girl,” a voice cried.

  His voice was exactly as I remembered, even though I hadn’t heard it in ten years. It was unmistakable.

  “You’re home.”

  My entire body trembled—was this fear? No, no it wasn’t. I wasn’t scared of anything in this world. I only felt things deeper. Anxiety, distrust, fury.

  Relief, too.

  “Hi, Dad,” my voice quivered.

  He finally pulled back, and I slowly turned to face him. If I wasn’t in my fourteen-year-old body, I’d be a bit shorter than him. But now, the top of my head barely reached his shoulder.

  Small man that he was. Thin and tired eyes and a lean frame—but there was an odd serenity around him that made you feel alright.

  “You never came to visit me.”

  I chewed on my lip. “I didn’t see why I would.”

  He frowned, his shoulders falling. “You never even told me why you left.”

  What could I say? He was right. After I left home, I never reached out to him again.

  “Can you blame me for that?

  Dad laughed a bit, a small chuckle as he gently rubbed his temple with his hand. “Your mother was the same way when she left. I admired her indifference for a while.”

  “Oh, fuck you,” I spat.

  “You were fourteen when you left. Do you know how petrified I was? I did everything for you. You know that. And how did you repay me?”

  My nostrils flared, and I took a step back, pressing my palm against my chest. “You don’t get the right to say that!”

  “Would you have done everything I did?”

  “Stop it.”

  “You can’t keep pretending that it didn’t happen.”

  “I’m not pretending!” I exclaimed, my back to him as I refused to meet him head on.

  “Do you know how hard it was for me? Do you think I wanted to do it? For weeks, months at a time, I woke up and went to mines until my skin turned black from the ash, just to provide for you.” He whispered, and the hairs on my next stood up. “I did it because I love you, Peijin.”

  “Stop it.”

  “And then you left me with nothing. You really are just like your mother.”

  I whipped out Zhige spun around, roaring. “Shut the fuck up!”

  He gently stepped forward, pushing the side of Zhige aside with a frail hand. “Do you think I wanted to do that? All for a daughter who would grow to hate me?”

  My entire figure trembled, my nose beginning to burn. “I don’t hate you, Dad.”

  The words involuntarily cracked as they came out.

  I continued speaking, trying to even my tone. “But you should’ve never done it. I would’ve starved with you instead if it’s what it took.”

  “And that’s why you left? Without saying anything?”

  “No,” I choked out, “I left because of when you kept inviting your friends over for drinks. You were supposed to protect me. I was fourteen.”

  Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision—but I fought them back. I blinked away my tears.

  Dad’s eyes widened with realization at my last words, and he rushed forward, pulling me into a tight hug. His frail arms suddenly felt wide and comforting around my small body.

  And there we were—a thin, sad man hugging a small child in the middle of a cluttered room.

  I remained frozen for a moment; I could feel each of his shaky breaths against my chest. How long had it been? A decade. I knew that, but now, I finally felt the weight of that time come crashing down on me.

  Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

  My arms wrapped around his back as I buried my face into his chest, the top of my head barely reaching his chin.

  “I’ve missed you so, so much, Dad.”

  The room remained silent apart from the sound of my beating heart and a strange radio static in the back.

  “… You’re tarnished.”

  My blood ran cold at his words, and I stiffened in his grasp.

  “What?” I whispered, trying to pull back, but his grip was too strong.

  His fingers dug into my back. I felt the blue hoodie try and pull me away to no use.

  “You’re dirty and tarnished. How could you ever think someone like you was worthy of love?” The static grew louder and louder until the ceiling started to contort again, and a smiley face began to appear.

  “Stop. Stop!” I shoved him back and and held Zhige manically in front of me.

  Zhige was far too big in my child-sized hands, and the blade quickly shrunk to be more manageable.

  The smiley face on the ceiling slowly dripped down like slime. It landed on Dad, slowly absorbing him and taking his form.

  I scrambled onto my feet, running toward the bedroom door and pounding on it.

  “Help! Help me!”

  Desperately shaking the doorknob, I peeked through the cracks in the door, watching shadows walk outside in the hall.

  But none came to help me.

  “Feiyu!” My voice grew louder.

  “Feiyu!” The second was a pleading whisper.

  I lifted Zhige and tried to stab the blade through the door, but my blade bounced off, and Zhige went flying out my hands.

  I scrambled forward, trying to reach for the blade while Zhige also moved toward me, but I froze at the sight of the smiley face.

  The smiley face had taken over Dad’s body, turning into his friend. His face was just as I remembered—that terrifying, drooping smile that never went away, and the eyes that stared straight through me.

  Even now, Dad couldn’t protect me.

  The blue hoodie jerked upward, trying to get me to stand on my feet. I complied, barely able to stand, before loud banging emerged all around the room.

  The sound was so unbearably loud I thought the entire room would crumble in on itself at any moment. Each bang caused a seismic trembling of the room, throwing me back on the ground just before the smiling beast.

  “Who are you?” I screeched, swinging Zhige wildly.

  “Peijin, Peijin, Peijin, Peijin,” my name echoed all around in short cries throughout the room in sync with the banging.

  That’s right—this room was my childhood bedroom with the trashy posters and books littering the ground. Here I was all over again, fourteen, begging, and with the smiling face in my room.

  And Dad was gone again. Mom was never here.

  “You’re not my Dad! He’d never say such a thing!” Finally, my blade sliced open the chest of the smiley face, causing a black goo to erupt from him in a thin line.

  Suddenly, a chilling voice rang out from behind me.

  “Of course not! But he sure thought it.”

  I whipped my head around and saw myself.

  Myself? No, that was impossible. But she looked just like me. I recalled that time when the apocalypse had just begun, and my reflection in the rearview mirror of the pest control van moved on its own.

  “Found you.”

  The figure’s black, shoulder-length hair was perfectly styled, her bangs perfectly curled. Her skin was glowing white, and her red lips curved into a bright smile as she let out a childish laugh. Her laugh sparkled the way a young girl’s would, not matching mine at all.

  I looked over my shoulder, and the smiling man was gone. Instead, this freakish woman teleported into its place.

  “Who are you?!” I gasped, looking up with insane eyes. I crawled backward before I got back onto my feet. The room was silent, no more of the static exuberating out.

  “Me? I’m Liu Peijin.”

  “Don’t spew such bullshit, you motherfucker!”

  She kneeled to match my eye level, speaking in that same, overly enthusiastic voice. “Ha ha, I can’t believe I only now meet you here! Although, I do suppose it’s a bit unfortunate in these circumstances.”

  My chest heaved with every breath I took. “What the hell are you bitching about?”

  “But, oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter. You reap what you sow, especially when it’s about you.”

  She emphasized the last word before she cupped her face in her hands, staring at me with her long eyelashes fluttering in the dim light.

  I finally caught my breath, barely able to keep up with my thoughts as I stared at her.

  “You’re wrong. My father never thought that. He would’ve never said that, either.”

  Letting out another chirpy laugh, she reached into her pocket and pulled out two orange lollipops, handing me an unwrapped one and popping the other into her mouth.

  I slapped it out of her hand and watched it roll across the ground.

  “Oh, but he really did think that, Peijin. You won’t believe how much he thought about it.”

  “Shut up! Who are you?! You’re not real! You’re not my fear, nothing of the sort. How did you get here?!”

  “He thought about it so much, Peijin, that it drove him insane,” she whistled toward the end, emphasizing it while she drew circles with her finger beside her head. “After you ran away and he found out what happened between you and his friend, he quit and searched everywhere for you.

  “Don’t you remember how happy he was the day you left? It was your birthday, and he managed to get the whole day off to spend with you. I guess you would’ve never known though, since you ran away that very day and left poor old Dad all alone.”

  My heart fell at those words. Every memory came rushing back, and there was nothing I could do other than grip my head in pain and stumble back, collapsing against the wall and hyperventilating.

  However, she continued speaking in that childlike tone, and I listened to the words that flowed out of her mouth—my mouth.

  “When you never came home, guess what he did?” She popped the lollipop out of her mouth with an exaggerated sound as her other hand pointed into the roof of her mouth.

  “Bang. Don’t worry though, it didn’t hurt him at all. Clean shot, straight out of the back of his head.”

  I lunged forward and gripped onto her throat, slamming her against the ground. My hands gripped tighter and tighter around her neck as I tried to crush her airway and strangle her.

  She wasn’t impacted in the slightest. Her face twisted into an innocent grin as she continued to speak to me. “I suppose it’s only fair of me to tell you what happened with your mother, too. Congratulations, Peijin! You’re an older sister! She’s even in Feiyu’s party. Isn’t that so funny?”

  [Scathing Reviewer is flickering.]

  Incomprehensible emotions welled up inside of me as I tightened my grip, banging her head against the floor repeatedly. My teeth were so tightly pressed together I was surprised my jaw hadn’t broken. “Stop it! Who are you? You’re not the real me!”

  “Ha ha ha, of course not! I’m no monster. Who are you?”

  I screeched, spit flying out with each word as my hair was plastered against my sweaty face. “It doesn’t matter who I am! I’m the real me!”

  “Oh, silly girl, of course it matters! But I already know everything about you, ‘Jia Li.’”

  She let out an innocent laugh again, and she easily sat up, removing my hands from her neck without looking at all impacted.

  “As for me? I’m Karma.”