THE SUN IN THE ECLIPSE

  She was now wearing a bright red dress. Just when I saw her on our wedding day. She still had that painful look on her face, but she shouldn't have had this. I did not want her to be dressed in sorrow. I tried to walk closer to her with my hands holding a few hemlock buds and moved them to her hair. Her body was shaking. I did not want her to shake.

  ‘’You are beautiful’’ I whispered. And her hand held mine shakily. She was touching me. She was looking at me.

  ‘’I will tell you everything after the celebration’’Her gaze was all so soft. ‘’Please wait until then’’

  She will speak to me. She will tell me the truth.

  And I watched her walk out of the room. I waited a few minutes before I was about to get prepared too. A few hours back, I found one of the guards ' suits lying around in the hallways, and it looked like it would fit me.

  So, I went to the ballroom where the celebration was getting started. People were drinking and smiling in their rich dresses while I, as a guard, was standing by the walls. I wouldn’t let her suffer alone. She wanted to be with me after all. I could see her in her beautiful dress, talking to the prince and trying not to roll her gaze while Hector was approaching her. And it seemed that the prince noticed her irritation, and he held her hand, trying to walk further from the disappointing rich man. Everyone was talking as if they had forgotten about the people who had died a few months ago. Now, they were wondering if the king would succeed in taking this capital and the entire west with his nephew back to his side. I wondered that too, but my gaze was on Lyssandra, who was not forcing a smile when she was speaking to the prince. He had asked her to marry her. And I wondered if she could have said yes. She would be at peace and have power. I couldn’t see the future anymore, but this is the future that I wanted her to have. That she would like to. One without me.

  And then, I finally noticed that when she was talking, smiling at him, she was looking right at me. My face turned warm just from one of her stares. The crowd became loud once more, playing a motif for a dance. And so, everyone was dancing in couples. I wish that it were me who was dancing with her. When I was touching her, I was looking at her beautiful face. With one motif of the pipes, the partners changed, and it was now Hector who was dancing with her, saying a few words. What was he saying to her?

  My oracle. He once spoke. What was this about? But he kept talking, and she was trying to steal a glance at me, who was standing still, frozen, and couldn’t do anything. And as I could see her looking at me, her expression changed when Hector whispered something to her ear. Her smile faded, and she was dressed in fear. What did he say? I wanted to move, to talk to her, to say something, to grab her away from him.

  But the music stopped, and the well-dressed king appeared. Everyone got on their knees, even me and the rest of the guards, but no one else noticed that Hector was revealing a dagger from his boot.

  When the king gave the signal for the people to rise, the man was walking closer to her with his blade hidden around his sleeves.

  Stop. Do something. Do.

  ‘’We are celebrating here today, my nephews return’’With his hand, he showed the boy.

  Say something. Say anything.

  ‘’And as you know, I was unwell’’He was speaking slowly with a wide smile. ‘’But I have fully recovered thanks to’’His hand was about to show Lyssandra, and she wanted to move.

  Speak, foolish man, speak.

  Everyone’s gaze was on her. She was the center of attention like a bright star. And Hector’sblade was moving.

  ‘’This woman Lys-’’The king was about to speak.

  ‘’Oracle’’My voice cried out loud, and her face froze as she turned back to see Hector’s twisted smile, with her hand catching the dagger. Everyone now turned to panic, with all the soldiers ready to move and take Hector away from her.

  ‘’It was you’’He gasped out, and I rushed closer to her while a few guards were moving the king and the prince away.

  ‘’It was always you’’His words were cutting like a knife to her face, with shadows emerging from the man’s body. The shadows formed into a thick dark fur as he was pulling her closer with the dagger, dropping to the floor.

  ‘’I finally found you.’’ His voice turned into a growling beast with eyes growing to a firepit. Bones were torn to his skin, his body getting longer as it belonged to a wild beast. To a fox.

  I was now running to her with a blade in my hands and tried to attack Hector, who now had a skull for a head. There was nothing charming about him.

  Hector never existed. It was all a disguise for that creature to take, lying that he was a soldier. I knew that a few days ago, when I was reading the letter that Lysandra got from multiple generals. He appeared almost a decade ago. A decade ago, when the god escaped.

  ‘’Take everyone out’’I commanded the soldiers, and they seemed to listen to me.

  Now it was only the three of us with Hector, tossing Lyssandra to the wall.

  ‘’Oracl-’’I tried to speak, but the creature grabbed me from his claws.

  ‘’I won’t let you touch her’’He explained.

  Does she have a name?

  He asked me once. I couldn’t move. I could feel my body bleeding, breaking from each move the creature was making. No, not a creature. He was a god.

  ‘’Let him go’’Lyssandra spoke, and turning our gazes back to her, I could see her bleeding. For a second, the grasp of the god loosened up, making me run to her side.

  ‘’I am sorry, I am sorry’’ My lips parted as I was touching her face. And she was trying so hard to speak. But I did not want her to speak.

  She was muffling something. What were those words? It did not matter. It did not matter when the sharp claw of the god pierced right through my chest.

  Her face was painted slowly white.

  ‘’Paris’’Her lips cried as her body touched mine. Was she always this sad? I couldn’t tell.

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  ‘’Don’t do it, not now.’’Were her hands always shaking?

  Was Hermes always standing right next to us? It did not matter when he was walking so close to me with a disappointed look.

  ‘’I expected you to last longer’’He explained. ‘’Well’’

  I blinked, confused, and I noticed that right below me, there was Lyssandra crying over a cold mortal body.

  ‘’Not yet’’I told him.

  I took a better look at him as I noticed how formal he looked. As if he were finally trying to play his role seriously. His expressions were different, too. As if he had already changed. He was calm, and he was listening to me. Was this how he was facing the souls he was about to take? Was I another one of those mortal souls? Ready to get ripped by my body thanks to his staff?

  But my eyes turned back to the weeping woman.

  I wanted to save her. But I couldn’t do it as a mortal. Could I? No, she needed a god. Not this pathetic mortal who could die from a common cold or a blade on his chest.

  Did she? She had a god at her side before, and she was miserable. She did not need saving; she wanted love. Could I give her that?

  ‘’Send me back’’I commanded him. And Hermes sighed. ‘’As you wish.’’

  There was darkness at first. My entire body was shaking in pain as I could hear a woman arguing with an old man.

  ‘’He got hurt badly, give him rest-’’ The old man said, and the woman disagreed.

  ‘’I will give him rest when he opens his eyes.’’

  Opening my eyes slowly, I could see that the woman was Lyssandra and the old man was my son. I tried to speak, but my tongue caught a heavy taste of iron, and I stopped trying to talk as Lyssandra sighed in relief and embraced me tight.

  ‘’You shouldn’t do that,’’ Asclepious said.

  ‘’I will do whatever I please’’She spat at him.

  This is not how I wanted them to meet, honestly. And Asclepious frowned, trying to walk away. However, Lyssandra caught his chiton. ‘’You will stay’’She commanded.

  My son sighed. ‘’I am not needed-’’

  ‘’He is your father. You stay’’She reminded him, and my son gasped from the way she was speaking.

  I still had no power to speak when she explained to me that the god was back in the chains when I passed out. Everyone got far too shocked to believe what they saw was true, so they will keep silent.

  And that I was in that state for a week, Asclepoious staying for so long with Lyssandra, trying to get me better. I was asleep for a week. I touched my chin and felt that I had grown a small beard.

  My lips trembled as I tried to speak out. ‘’Or..acle’’I muttered, and Lyssandra tried to hold her tears.

  ‘’Great, you can speak ‘’She stood up and turned to Asclepius, who was smiling. ‘’I will be outside.’’

  Now, it was once again the two of us. And Lyssandra broke down into tears. Was she always this human?

  ‘’I thought that you-’’She took a deep breath.

  If I couldn’t live without her, then neither could she. She had that painful gaze on her tired face, making me pity her. Did she even try to sleep? Or even eat?

  Do not leave me. Do not.

  My body was in pain; I could feel my chest breaking in every movement. I hated this mortal body. How weak I was.

  ‘’I am here’’I sighed and took her hand with the ring, kissed it, and placed it on my forehead.

  My body was weak, my soul was about to pass on. And I would have left her alone.

  ‘’I won’t lie to you’’I gathered all of my remaining strength to admit those painful words. But her smile, her eyes, were making me force the truth nonetheless.

  I accepted my punishment as a mortal because I would have been with you. Being with you made it feel more like a gift from the fates rather than a punishment. My body hurts when I wake up, the sun burns my skin, I always feel tired, loud noises irritate me, and if I have to smell another scent, I will sneeze until the end of my days. My eyes are in pain each time I see temples of gods that have no name, thinking that my time would be over soon, thinking what will happen if I tell those fools the truth? That I am a god, will they start worshipping me or try to burn me?

  Those things, I can handle, I can accept. Because I am with you and you are making this mortal life so beautiful, even when I am in pain. What I cannot accept is that I am useless. I cannot heal you, and I cannot defeat any monster to protect you. I have watched so many of the people that I loved dying because I was weak. I cannot do the same again; I cannot suffer the pain again. When you were poisoned, I thought that I could not live without you. But when my soul was slowly fading, I saw your face. That you also cannot live without me. I do not want to see that face. I do not want you to die, and I do not want to die with the thought that I will leave you behind. And when I hurt your hand, it reminded me how many times I have seen gods hurting the people they love. How many people did I hurt, I cursed. How many times have I thought that I wanted to lock you up in a cage, and no danger would touch you? How many times did I hurt you in Tartarus, and you were pleading to stop? But I wanted you to appear again, just so I could listen to your voice. I hated those thoughts. I never want to hurt you or turn to someone who hurts the people he loves. I do not want you to hate me or be scared of me like people were expecting me to turn out like my father. I want you not to be afraid, I want the people that I love not to be afraid of me.

  I stopped talking, and her cheeks flared red. I thought that she would cry again or kiss me. Instead, she slapped my face hard. I could feel the warmth attack, kissing my flesh with the pain growing slightly stronger.

  ‘’You absolute idiot god’’She let out heavily. ‘’I want this, I want that, I want to be a god but mortal with you’’Her voice was shaking.

  ‘’How do you think that I feel?’’She let out a sigh.

  I am weak too. Maybe I was mortal before, and I am back, but that doesn't mean a thing. Because when I was still a kid, I was afraid. I was feeling weak because I couldn’t protect the people I care about. Even with all the power and wisdom that I had as an immortal, I couldn’t save the people I cared about. But this is how life works. Mortality is a painful curse, a punishment. And it can also be a gift with people you care about at your side. So, I tried to show you the world. I want to show you the world so you can be happy. And you can be happy with me, even when I am keeping secrets that I am too ashamed to admit.

  She did not cry. She was simply looking down. So. That’s how life was. Painful and regretful.

  Ashamed. Why? How could I break this invisible wall she made?

  ‘’Pup is Dion’’

  ‘’What?’’

  Not like that.

  I swallowed hard and tried to explain again when I found that monster of the priest, plotting devious things against her.

  ‘’I thought that it would be funny if he was turned into a mutt with the only thing in mind being that he had to be your pet’’I admitted with my face all red.

  And she let out a long laugh, her hair falling to her face. She was smiling. Maybe from insanity, but she was smiling. Because we both had shame in us. Because we were both miserable in our lives. And yet, we could make each other beam with joy and love.

  ‘’I love you’’I said softly. ‘’I don’t want you to feel ever again that you have to hide things from me.’’

  And she cupped my face, letting a kiss on my forehead.’’I love you too.’’

  My weak hands moved around her waist, trying to pull her closer to me. ‘’Will you tell me now what kind of god is hiding behind those walls?’’

  And her face turned even redder when she admitted.

  ‘’It’s you.’’