The miniboss chamber stretched wide, lit by faint violet flames. Mist swirled across the floor like a second sea, and at the far end a figure stood waiting.

  Not a monster.

  Not a slime.

  Not even a snail.

  A man.

  The adventurers froze.

  He looked exactly like Leo — same height, same posture, same cracked glasses. Except this Leo was thicker, muscles bulging under armor, a massive sword resting easily on his shoulder. His eyes gleamed with cold calculation.

  The crystal pulsed smugly:

  Miniboss Encounter: Warrior Variant – Leo Vince. Strength Specialization. Attempt: 5.

  The adventurers gaped.

  “…It’s you,” Harlada whispered.

  Bert rubbed his eyes. “Wait, am I seeing double?”

  Leo’s notebook shook in his hands. “Incorrect. I am myself. That is… a dimensional variant. High strength, low intellect. A brute copy.”

  The other Leo stepped forward, sword scraping sparks off the floor. His voice was the same, but colder. “At last. Another dungeon. Another test. Another gem.”

  “Wait,” Bert stammered. “He thinks we’re the dungeon?”

  Harlada swallowed hard. “That’s… really bad.”

  The copy raised his blade in salute. “I will carve you down. Claim your gem. And leave this place stronger.”

  The crystal pulsed again, almost giddy:

  Warning: Reasoning attempt will fail. Miniboss perceives party as hostile dungeon entities.

  Leo adjusted his cracked glasses with trembling hands. “…Statistically, this is the worst thing that has ever happened.”

  The five of them — three adventurers and two very confused snails — stared across the chamber at their new enemy.

  Their own teammate.

  But stronger.

  ***

  For a long moment, no one moved.

  The two Leos stared at one another across the mist. The real one trembling, notebook quivering in his grip. The other calm, confident, sword balanced like it weighed nothing.

  Harlada raised her hands, palms open. “Okay… let’s all just breathe. No lightning. No cleavers. We can talk this out.”

  Bert nodded quickly. “Yeah! You don’t have to smash us. We’re… we’re not a dungeon.”

  The copy tilted his head. “Then why do you carry gems?”

  Leo hesitated. “…Because we are… beta testers?”

  Harlada shot him a look. “Really?”

  “It might work,” Leo hissed.

  The copy frowned. “Testers… then you are weak. But perhaps… not enemies?”

  For the first time, his sword dipped slightly.

  Harlada smiled, seizing the moment. “Yes. Exactly. No need to fight. We’re just—”

  SLURP.

  The snails had finally caught up. They oozed past the party with surprising speed, eyestalks perked high, and launched themselves straight at the miniboss Leo’s boots.

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  One latched onto his shin, slime sizzling. The other smacked into his thigh like a wet sack of laundry.

  The chamber went silent.

  Copy-Leo’s eyes narrowed. His sword rose.

  “Trickery,” he snarled. “You send familiars to test me. You are the dungeon.”

  The crystal pulsed in smug delight:

  Negotiation Failed. Hostilities Initiated. Attempt: 5

  The adventurers groaned in unison.

  “Snails,” Bert muttered, hefting his cleaver, “why are you like this?”

  The miniboss roared, swinging his blade.

  ***

  The miniboss roared, sword flashing in a wide arc. The adventurers braced for slaughter.

  But the snails held firm.

  One launched a glob of slime that clung to the sword, dragging it sideways. The other coiled up his entire sticky bulk and body-slammed Copy-Leo’s shin.

  He staggered.

  Bert blinked. “Wait… are they actually… winning?”

  Harlada gaped as the first snail spat another torrent of slime straight into Copy-Leo’s face. He stumbled back, blinded, swinging wildly. The second climbed his chest, leaving a trail of bubbling goo.

  “Impossible,” real Leo whispered, notebook trembling. “Statistically impossible—”

  CRACK.

  Copy-Leo hit the ground with a bone-rattling thud, slime pinning him down. The two snails hissed triumphantly, their eyestalks wiggling in victory.

  Then they began to eat him.

  Wet, sloppy sounds filled the chamber as snail mouths tore through armor and flesh with horrifying efficiency. The miniboss gave one last muffled scream before dissolving into mist — gem, sword, and all slurped away by their gastropod allies.

  The crystal pulsed in stunned silence.

  Miniboss Defeated. Attempt: 5. Reward… Being Consumed.

  The adventurers stood frozen.

  Finally, Bert cleared his throat. “…So… if I eat the snails later… does that make me a cannibal?”

  Harlada groaned. “That’s the question you’re asking right now?”

  Leo pinched the bridge of his nose. “Correction: yes. Statistically, consuming entities that have consumed a variant of yourself is cannibalism.”

  Bert rubbed his stomach thoughtfully. “…Worth it.”

  The crystal pulsed smugly:

  Achievement Unlocked: Escargot Dilemma. Reward: None.

  ***

  The victory lasted all of five seconds.

  The snails didn’t stop. Their eyestalks twitched, slime bubbling, shells glowing faintly red. They tore through the dissolving corpse with wet, hungry slurps, hissing louder than ever.

  Harlada took a step back. “…Uh. Is it just me, or do they look… worse?”

  Leo scribbled furiously. “Observation: battle frenzy. Bloodrage state triggered by excessive protein intake.”

  Bert raised his cleaver nervously. “Translation?”

  “They’re not done eating,” Leo said flatly.

  The snails turned toward the adventurers. Trails of steaming slime hissed on the floor.

  “NOPE,” Harlada shouted, digging into her pouch. She flung the remaining salt across the chamber.

  The snails shrieked, their bodies bubbling and shriveling. They recoiled, collapsing into their shells with a hiss of smoke.

  Silence.

  Bert wiped his brow. “Okay… so much for snail allies.”

  Harlada sighed. “I actually kind of liked them. Until the blood frenzy part.”

  Leo adjusted his glasses. “Statistically inevitable. Gastropods cannot process victory responsibly.”

  The crystal pulsed, clearly relieved:

  Unstable Allies Neutralized. Reward Sequence Restored.

  A new pedestal rose from the ground where Copy-Leo had fallen. On it rested a pouch of coins and a gleaming gem, its light shifting between red and blue.

  Loot time.

  Bert grinned. “Finally. Real treasure. And this time, nobody eats it before we do.”

  Harlada gave him a sideways glance. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  The crystal pulsed smugly:

  Achievement Unlocked: Escargot Regicide. Reward: Actual Loot.

  They looked at where the loot should be.

  The plot thickens…

  Be honest: who here thought there was no plot — just a cycle of fight, fail, and accidentally stumble forward?

  …Well, I will laugh. But I promise not to make it personal.

  Probably.