Nelson brought his right hand to his chest and bowed in mock reverence.

  “Oh, mighty petty Hexamalius, allow me to honor you with a sacred hymn.”

  “You are coping~”

  I began to clap to the rhythm, amplifying Nelson’s performance.

  “Coping and seething~”

  Hexamalius, already on the verge of snapping, began to foam at the mouth, his bloodshot eyes twitching with unfiltered rage.

  “FROM THE MOMENT YOU STEP ON THE NEW LAND, EVERY FOLLOWER OF MINE SHALL HUNT YOU DOWN AND—”

  A golden film snapped around his head mid-rant, sealing his mouth shut.

  His eyes widened, flicking upward, his hands trying to yank away the golden film.

  “Your silent screams are quite soothing, petty god,” I cackled until my sides hurt.

  His ugly mug disappeared into a sea of rage, tears, and divine snot—furiously pointing at us the entire time.

  “HAHAHA, I have beaten a god with his own curse HAHAHA.”

  Nelson declared this with the confidence of a man who had just discovered a game-breaking exploit, his chest puffed and fist resting proudly on his waist.

  I knew right away which story he would parrot to his grandchildren in his senile days.

  I walked toward him, coughing from the intense laughing.

  “You absolute buffoon,” I said, slapping his back hard. “You fucked us over by teabagging that cunt!” I slapped him again. “But that petty fuck deserved it.”

  “Yes, that piece o—”

  I shut Nelson’s mouth, preventing another gory explosion.

  “Remember your trigger, I’ll shit on him in your stead.” I removed my hands, now covered in blood, and casually wiped them on his bare chest.

  “Fucking gross, man’s blood.”

  “Th—wait, am I bleeding?!” Nelson’s eyes widened.

  “Yeah, didn’t you read your skill effects?”

  He patted his nose and stared at his now-crimson fingers. His brain took five seconds to process it.

  “OH FUCK—I’M DYING! HEAL ME, HEALSLUT!” he barked, completely agitated.

  “Relax. You won’t die.”

  “HEAL ME, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, I’M BLEEDING OUT!” He grabbed my shoulders and shook me with sheer desperation.

  “I don’t even know how. Calm the fuck down.” I pushed him away.

  “JUST HEAL ME.” He wiped his nose once again, but no more blood came out. “Oh. The bleeding stopped.”

  He checked himself again. He had stopped bleeding one tick away from death.

  “So you DIDN’T read it, imbecile.”

  “I only skimmed through it,” he confessed, plopping onto the floor and finally reading through his skill.

  “Shit, my damage output got wrecked. Well, I can keep explo—” His eyes landed on the debuff. His hands quivered like a dictator hearing his downfall.

  He took a deep breath. “Frank,” he spoke solemnly. “I can’t jerk off for seven days.”

  The sheer devastation in his voice made me laugh out loud.

  “That’s the price you pay for dick-slapping a god in the face,” I said, sitting beside him.

  “Shit, I can’t use this anymore.” The punishment was too great for him to use such an OP skill.

  We took our time to breathe, staring at the void like a pair of lobotomized monkeys.

  “Eight more hours and we begin our thrilling, happy life, huh?”

  “Yeah, and I won’t be able to taste Isekai pussy in a week,” Nelson muttered like a death row prisoner.

  “I still feel that cunt skipped something,” I said, placing my hands on the floor. “Like, who decided to pick us for this shit fest?”

  ‘He did~!’ said Lady Helena.

  ‘That wagecuck god!’

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  ‘Look in your pocket~’

  I pulled out the worn-out ticket the little girl had given me and stared at it. Divine power radiated from it.

  ‘Give me a fucking break.’

  Nelson noticed the ticket. “More divine bullshit?”

  “I think so.”

  ‘It’s a boon, Mister Frank—no tricks involved~’

  ‘Uh-huh…’ My gut told me otherwise.

  ‘Should I take over that silly child’s role~?’

  ‘Yeah… wait, no!’

  ‘Mister Frank, you can either accept now~, or…’ Her playful voice shifted, seductive and laced with danger. My eyes began to feel cold, my vision blurred, and soon they began to hurt worse than a migraine. ‘After I play with you a bit~’

  I had two choices: comply, or suffer—then comply. Free will? What’s that?

  ‘Fine! Dammit. What do you want me to do?’

  ‘First, stand.’

  I obeyed like someone had a gun to my head.

  ‘Now, open your mouth wide~’

  ‘What fo—’ I couldn’t finish my complaint as a burning cold seared my stomach, causing it to bulge. Intense pressure and chills assaulted my body, thrice as much as if I had overeaten. I ended up throwing up an immense pool of blood.

  “Frank?!” Nelson snapped out of his short-lived depression.

  “Lady Helena’s orders,” I answered, my mouth still squirting blood. Unlike the other times, it didn’t no-clip through the floor.

  “Don’t go dying on me, Frank. I finally had a pocket medic!” He kept his distance but still looked worried, clearly fearing her reaction.

  ‘That was fucking awful.’ My throat was hoarse, I felt weak, and my knees wobbled, but I stood up. I wiped my mouth and said defiantly, ‘What now, little shit?’

  ‘Getting a spine, aren’t you~?’ She’s enjoying the petty defiance.

  A cold sensation lingered on my right index finger.

  ‘Use your finger to write [I love Helena] and draw a heart around it~’

  ‘What? More than a summoning ritual, this is humiliat—’

  Black veins burst from my branded cheek and spread beneath my skin, hijacking my body and forcing me to obey.

  ‘Don’t resist~ or do~! It matters not~’

  ‘Let go! I’ll do it myself!’

  ‘Aw~ someone wants to remain in control~’

  The blood touched by my finger turned black.

  ‘What now?’ I asked, trying to sound cold, but the rebellion of my meat suit had already shaken me.

  Nelson just stared at me. ‘Whipped,’ I read from his lips.

  ‘Now touch your branded cheek with the blood-smeared hand~, then smear your lips and kiss my name~!’

  ‘Should I pull out my heart and offer it to you?’ I barked, even as my body obeyed.

  ‘Mmm, not now~!’

  I stared at the pool of blood, fighting the urge to claw my own heart out.

  ‘Kiss it, Mister Frank~ You won’t regret it~!’

  I did as she said, disgusted by how easily she overpowered me.

  The pool of blood darkened completely. The familiar stench of rot and decay rose from it, and the temperature plunged into arctic cold.

  “NOPE!” Nelson tried to bolt, but his legs froze in place with sheer horror.

  The pool of black blood shot upward, forming a cocoon. Protrusions bulged beneath its surface, as if an adult-sized body were trapped inside—moving, beating.

  Giggles began to echo from all around us.

  “Frank?!” Nelson yelled, completely terrified.

  “Lady Helena… is manifesting.” I swallowed hard. I would finally meet my tormentor—fearing and yearning for her in equal measure.

  The cocoon began to crack.

  A petite figure emerged, no more than half a meter tall. Her lips and skin were as pale as a blood-drained corpse. Skin clung tightly to bone; her black hair was patchy and brittle, parts of her skull exposed beneath it. She wore a lustrous, below-the-knee black summer dress. Her hands and bare feet were little more than bone, wrapped in a thin film of dried skin, each digit tipped with a shattered, cracked nail.

  She lay there with her arms crossed, like a deceased girl.

  “Frank?!” Nelson’s voice faltered, his body wobbling.

  “Won’t you come and wake the sleeping beauty with a kiss~?” she asked, smiling as she half-opened her eyes.

  “Ah… it speaks,” Nelson muttered. His soul was already halfway out the door.

  I stayed silent, resisting the urge to comply.

  “That is no good, Mister Frank~”

  She opened her eyes fully—two light-devouring black pearls that could easily be mistaken for empty sockets.

  “Are you the type of man who runs away when the girl reciprocates~?” she asked, smiling mischievously.

  “Frank… what did you summon?” Nelson looked at me, his eyes devoid of life.

  “She’s Lady Helena, the goddess of death and rebirth,” I told him. “She won’t harm us… she won’t harm you. Be at ease.”

  “Now, now, Mister Frank~ Don’t scare Mister Nelson~”

  She half-closed her eyes and smiled.

  She hopped out of the cocoon with childish energy. “He’s on the verge of running away, hehe~.”

  “He is bad with horror things.”

  “Ah~ I do look spooky like this~” she giggled, amused by Nelson’s reaction. “Boo~”

  Nelson made an incomprehensible sound and fainted.

  She dusted off her dress. The empty cocoon crumbled into dust.

  “Now, now, Mister Frank~ You won’t pretend for me to stay standing, won’t you~?”

  She walked toward me at an unhurried pace, her cold presence intensifying with every step. She placed her index finger against my chest.

  I felt my life force draining as my body grew cold. I staggered.

  “Sit cross-legged on the floor~”

  A command disguised as a mellow plea.

  “Do I look like a chair—”

  She jabbed her finger into my chest. It sank into my flesh with ease, withering it on contact. Excruciating agony surged through my body, and I obeyed her command, glaring up at her with fire burning in my eyes.

  She twirled once, turned her back to me, and plopped onto my lap, nestling there like a mischievous cat.

  She felt like an ice statue. My skin stung. But as she began to drain my life force, her temperature rose while mine plummeted. My mind grew foggy. Chills wracked my body, my muscles shriveled, and my heartbeat weakened.

  Her cold-as-ice body slowly warmed, settling into a comfortable chill—like an AC on a hot day. Her bony arms remained thin, but her legs grew alluring. Her stabby rear softened, turning bountiful. Even her nails recovered, sharpening into healthy, claw-like tips.

  After her hunger was sated, the fog in my mind cleared, but I remained tired and lethargic.

  “Flat~” she whispered, lifting her face, smiling coquettishly and offering a close-up of her pale, beautiful features and those soul-sucking, mesmerizing black eyes.

  Whether it was her influence or her genuine beauty, I was captivated. My weakened heart stirred, revitalizing as it thumped loudly in my chest.

  My gaze drifted to her chest. She tugged her dress forward at just the right moment, revealing two pinkish mosquito bites, then lifted one leg, shamelessly displaying all her frontal assets.

  “Excellent!” I declared, without a shred of dignity. I poured my remaining strength into my arms and placed my hands on her chest and lifted thigh, the faint cold igniting a flame in my core.

  “Thank you for this banquet, oh merciful Helena!”

  “Hehe~”

  She chuckled and snuggled in for a brief moment, enjoying my blasphemous touch before gently pulling my hands away.

  “Not now, Mister Frank~”

  She subtly brushed my shrunken thigh, telling me without words—Later.

  “Greetings, Mister Nelson~”

  Nelson was forced awake. He scrambled to grovel, but Lady Helena flicked a finger, stopping him mid-motion and setting him back on his feet.

  “I am the goddess of death and rebirth and…”

  She placed her hand on my sagging cheek.

  “The owner of Frank’s soul.”