Mi-Yung observed William on his little shaky steps and realized he might be good even after anxious days of rest. Still, this case was not fine; his mind was very restless, if not anxious, and everything else was missing countless other points.

  She was worried, and he didn't want to add to her worries. That was useless. There was nothing he could do to help.

  Asking if he was fine for the third time was no longer a possibility, nor was her needless apprehension and curious, blazing look.

  His sleeves were up, exposing the throbbing Emblem and wincing muscles around it. It was a subconscious thing, meaning that William wasn't fine in the slightest, but maybe that's the point. Mi-Yung thought she missed a lot of little things, but not everything.

  "Are you going out right away?" Mi-Yung asked.

  "I plan to. Wasting time is not my plan, and... it happened, right? What did that old man do? Who was he?"

  "You don't remember?" Mi-Yung said in doubt and surprise.

  William shook his head.

  "He is called Old Dream, and he is in the highest order of Assembly. He asked for it, essentially, and wanted to get to know you. I... sorry, but this is it. I could have done more, but Rey stopped me. He is Emblem Association's High Pillar and trusted this process, but not you. Both are at Rank 8, so..."

  "Hm," William muttered something under his nose and glanced at the old book aside, resting on the little table.

  "I suggest drinking tea for nerves, William. You haven't consumed anything in the last three days, but I cared about you enough and even contacted a great Healer. Your Emblem is a different concern."

  "I don't feel hungry," William argued without a change in expression, speaking as if it were normal. In the past, on many days when he was more than hungry, there were more obnoxious feelings than starving.

  "I have meals ready in the kitchen. Eat, and don't make me repeat myself." Mi-Yung argued, going closer just to make a point, but didn't touch him.

  William found his shoes in one piece under the bed and ignored her complaints. Not for long. "I will eat... alright?"

  "That's good. I will go out and might not return for a couple of days. Now that you are awake, but not fine, and not the other way either, I hope you won't overexert yourself. If you have worries, you can count on Yungmin or Luke if you see any of them."

  William secured his shoes and then looked at her. She was wearing a military uniform of some sort, mostly in a dull green color. "What is this uniform?"

  "Just a temporary one. If something bad happens, either--"

  "I am fine. I will speak to your brother if I have to, but I can survive just fine without you and him. I was alone... often."

  "I hope you won't ever be that again. My words hold no meaning after what happened. I hope you will forgive me so I can help you again."

  William found his bottle, which was not so far away, and checked his key, card, and shoes. "I am going. Have a good mission."

  Mi-Yung absently looked around as he left without eating, and she felt that she had missed something massive, and it wasn't her empty, hurt words.

  Words hadn't come around like this. The situation from three days ago was empty for William, who couldn't remember anything. Not a single word. No moments. No Old Dream.

  Maybe he will dream about them again, and then again, or never, because that Emblem didn't like it.

  ***

  The worrisome days passed quickly. During a period when William was incapacitated, Ellie met difficult and disturbing moments. Wishing to ask William about his birthday turned into a silly joke, yet focusing on this idea brought the right thing. It made Ellie focus, yet that time never came.

  She had not seen one square inch of his shadow for two whole days. She thought William left her in the dust of his learning, Mi-Yung, or because of the Emblem Association.

  If it weren't for one time when Dreadus somewhat knew about William's circumstances, perhaps she wouldn't know anything. Even worse was the last moment when she stormed off the floor because of her shame.

  Ellie was upset about it, and Mi-Yung never even visited her. It wasn't because he was a clueless Outsider, but because he had no way to even walk, talk, or think.

  Bedridden and sleeping, that's what William ended up doing instead, and Ellie spent days wondering why Mi-Yung let it happen. Thus, she still went on to teach Celeste, who was very sensitive about such things and people, yet not in a way that was expected. She asked about William, and Ellie told her the truth. It left many expressions on Celeste's face, though one hardly knew what that girl thought about.

  Hound was the same, and their teachings followed a less strict schedule as a result. Ellie didn't want to admit defeat. She planned to be patient and stay true to herself, even if it was kind of shameful and sad.

  What if William won't know any better, even after waking up? Maybe she was ignorant about the word' relationship'? Ellie hadn't thought about that very far, or perhaps she didn't even know what William was in her heart.

  The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  Only after days passed did the most horrendous feelings decrease. She thought of her work, Celeste, and what she could do about everything because it wasn't about herself anymore. It never was.

  William will come because Mi-Yung promised it.

  One day later, marking the fourth since William's test, the morning shone, and William visited the library again.

  However, they never met due to time restraints, his own mind, or simple luck. William tried to look for Ellie like Mi-Yung suggested, and he even asked employees about her, but he never found her.

  So he went back to his learning routine and intended to lose himself in books instead of people and memories, or flawed habits. It was a good idea after a period of doign shit all for anything and anyone.

  For two whole days, it proceeded in this manner, and William was fine with it.

  ***

  After more than three weeks of staying in the Federation, William strode with familiarity in the streets.

  Yawning in the night, he looked at his watch. It was still four hours until midnight, so the night was yet to come, but time said it was night, so that was it. He spent a long time in the library today, and once more, he never saw those two girls. Mi-Yung was nowhere to be seen either, but she proclaimed so when he woke after that disaster.

  Nobody visited him either. No Luke. No Yungmin. Sometimes, he wondered if he was supposed to look for anything or if this silence and peace were just a farce and one big joke.

  He wished to do something about it, yet his sleep hadn't been all that fun since that freaked morning or even older night. The worst thing was that he found his Emblem missing today, and it freaked him out more than anything. It happened for a second time, which might be shocking, normal, or... not at all important. Maybe it happened more than twice, but how could he know?

  "Let's finish this day on the upper floors." William decided to walk away from the fifth floor, where he read historical records about Walker's missions, diaries, or specific books about Division, Walker's thoughts, or philosophical assumptions.

  It provided numerous great ideas, yet his direction or seeking answers was not there. In fact, what were his directions, or where the fuck was he even supposed to go?

  Confused, those were personal issues he dealt with for ages, and snarky comments and terms in some books or diaries better rot in hell. If it ever existed, that is. William doubted that, for there were much worse things in this world than in imagination or... dreams.

  Right. Old Dreamd fucked him up for sure, it kept messing with him for days.

  His learning kept him very busy, and he forgot about the matter of those tests, which he hadn't even asked about. Mi-Yung felt weird about it when he woke up, and he fled the scene like a total moron. It wasn't without guilt, however, or even something good.

  He simply ran away after not running away, right? That was an exemplary situation, and he judged that Dann would be proud of him. At least, William was.

  He found his mind changing, but how much could he ignore himself or others? That was questionable since his learning curve was busy and self-entitled, and he would never break himself over for nothing. Being his own teacher was nothing great either. For days, books were his only company.

  By now, this entire library had turned into a convenient time where he knew where to go and look for peace, and the card in his pocket never failed to crack any code.

  That should be enough; he felt he was obliged to learn and earn it, although words and feelings lingered in the back of his mind. There was no guilt or fear.

  **Too many worries can hurt your brain. We aren't books with limited pages. Our minds are worse yet more splendid.** Ellie's quote.

  Burnout. That was what she called it, and it might be unnoticeable at first, come out way later, like a huge wave, or it would disappear without notice. She described it as aspects of learning, which were shockingly more complicated than fighting and killing.

  The memorization technique was like taking things one step at a time from a tremendous amount of content. Although William was skeptical, there were books about learning, and they shouldn't speak nonsense, even if there were books about learning from books and even books on how to write books.

  That was a bit funny. Then, it was thoughtful and made sense, unlike some of his thoughts that lacked merit or leeway for learning about problems and how to solve them.

  There were also books that described lazy people, suggesting that they were the quickest problem solvers because of their laziness. William appreciated such a perspective. Maybe they meant efficiency? He wasn't sure. Ellie wasn't lazy, but she was efficient, and William learned to work on it bit by bit.

  Books were different. They needed attention, eyes, brains, and hands. That was a lot of things at the same time. His case was strange because he liked to do things the best at first, yet sometimes it might not be possible, or clever. Not worrying about stuff was his excuse, similar to overlooking his mistakes, pains, and so on.

  Did it make him lazy? Was he ignoring Ellie and Celeste because he was lazy? Were ten minutes looking for them too much, or not enough? Right. He was running away from them again, yet he had to know there was something right about it.

  Would a lazy person spend three weeks in the library, reading, learning, and training, only to break, return, and repeat the process? Well, he didn't want to break anything. There were never such plans, yet they happened and will happen again, but he didn't know when or how.

  For now, William enjoyed his rare, dreadful vacation.

  It wasn't a consistent logic, but feelings. He wanted to learn and not find a reason to be lazy or unhappy. That was a simple route in his lazy brain or his life routine. There were almost no regrets about that because he didn't think of it as worse or better. He just moved on.

  It would come crashing down on him, and every day was hoarding that shit more and more.

  On the upper floors, he reached for the door labeled "Dark and Where to Find Them." It was a long name for a single room. Mi-Yung said that Kaufman had a lot of such ideas, many of them being childish, so his naming scheme wasn't that great. It was terrific that he named his daughter like a normal person. Then, maybe it was even more terrific that he had a daughter to begin with.

  With Kaufman's card, there was no obscurity, and it felt great to walk around and not think about limits.

  Still, William had a map in mind and rooms to see. It's not like he met someone complaining about it, apart from Kaufman, who tried to take it back all those days ago.

  On that note, it wasn't lonely. There were visitors on many floors, and the upper rooms were no different. There, people ranged from adolescents like him, little children with their guardians or parents, to full-blown Walkers coming or looking for details. They weren't as rare as William thought they would be, and most people minded their own business, including him.

  After days, he barely noticed these visitors, whether they were high-ranking Walkers or smaller ones. He couldn't tell them apart, except by age and appearance, or uniforms. At one point, he couldn't even think of spotting differences between Rank 5 Walkers and Rank 7. Most Rank 4 Walkers were quite young in their adulthood, thus notable. If they weren't, then they looked almost like typical adults of their age.

  Rank 6 or 7 was rarely reached at a young age unless the Walkers paid special attention to it. Mi-Yung was a rare, generational case, with most Rank 7s being more than fifty years old. Rank 8s were completely different realms afterward.

  It was hard to say if Ranks had adequate responsibilities about age, too, but if William had guesses about it, they made sense. It was about growth, and time was essential for growth and stability.

  He didn't need books describing Rank 8 Walkers to accept this fact. Mi-Yung didn't talk much about it either, for there was much more William should know than old freaks or the point of time.