“I never thought I’d use a grenade to play catch with my son,” Mac commented as he gently lofted the green ovaloid towards his boy.

  “Don’t worry, Dad, it’s plastic,” Zach replied as the four-year-old caught it in his own curved grenade thrower. He must have been practicing with the other kids at the future center. He’d only missed it twice. Of course, they weren’t standing that far apart.

  “So, what are you missing today while you’re out with me,” Mac asked to keep the conversation going.

  “Not too much,” Zach replied. “I think Janessa said they were hot-wiring the van again, and practicing picking locks. I’m already good at that. They’ll have racing games later. Reggie always wins those. Did you have those?”

  “Not quite as good as your graphics,” Mac answered with a smile as he caught the fake grenade, “but yes. I was okay at them. What game are you playing?”

  “Funny Car Four,” Zach replied.

  Mac paused with the grenade in his thrower. Wasn’t that the latest version from the new VR console released last year. It was supposed to be super realistic. You needed to have a special suit to…”

  “Daddy, throw the grenade already,” Zach urged.

  “Sorry,” Mac shook his head then lofted the grenade to his son. “Do you have the full set up?”

  “Oh, yes,” Zach answered. “It takes a few minutes to get the suit on, and the helmet is super light. Mr. Hood taught us how to drive last week, and the winner of the challenges gets a prize. I won yesterday because Reggie hit the wrong person… I got candy.” Zach announced proudly as he lofted the grenade back to his dad.

  “I’m glad you’re having fun,” Mac smiled as he caught the imitation explosive device. “What else has Mr. Hood had you doing?”

  “We learned how to read a map, started learning Nipponese, just like we use at home, and the names of colors like chartreuse,” Zach enunciated the last word carefully. “Throw it back.”

  Mac tossed the grenade back to his four-year-old, “Have you learned your numbers?”

  “Yes, Daddy, that’s easy,” Zach assured his father confidently. “I can count to one thousand. It just takes a really long time, and I get bored.”

  Mac smiled, “Would you like to show me around the Future Center?”

  “Oh, yes!” Zach beamed from ear to ear. “Miss Lady,” Zach addressed the beautiful redhead in the nurse’s outfit leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. “Do you want to come too?”

  Amethyst processed the thought for a moment and decided she liked children, whether that meant because of their joyful innocence or just with mustard and a side of fried potatoes could not be determined, “Sure, I’ll bite, laddie.”

  “Follow me!” Zach urged before excitedly tossing the grenade way up in the air and completely missing the catch. “Mr. Hood says that if we miss it, we’re supposed to jump away and lie on the ground,” Zach explained as he scrambled after the green object, “but I’m with you today.”

  “That’s good advice,” Mac commented as his son gathered up the fake grenade from the dirt. Curiosity struck him and he added, “Did, Mr. Hood tell you what to do in case of a shooter?”

  “It’s part of our morning drills,” Zach answered with a sigh and then recited, “We’re supposed to crouch down on our toes but not lie down because ‘bouncing bullets bite butts’.”

  Zach opened the glass front door for his dad and reluctant medical escort. The inside was lit with bright daylight bulbs. The colorful, industrial-grade carpet had different colored footprints marking different paths. A few motivational posters adorned the walls proclaiming, “Winning is everything”, “Stay alert, stay alive”, and “Where’s your covers?”, which had a frightened little kid in pigtails hiding under a colorful, unicorn-adorned bed sheet while a hungry looking dragon glowered at her unhappily.

  Mac was still staring at the last poster, when his thoughts were interrupted by a not quite patronizing male voice, “Not all dragons love children as much as Olivia. Even so, we take basic precautions.”

  “Excuse me?” Mac turned around to see a human in his mid-thirties wearing a cardigan sweater and the psychotic look of a career kindergarten teacher. He might have had several facial scars from errant nails or poorly thrown grenades, but that determined yet haunted look in his eyes is what drew Mac’s attention.

  “I said, ‘we take basic precautions’,” the man replied in a sing-song voice master-crafted to gain the attention of young children.

  “Who are you?” Mac was still a bit stunned.

  “I,” the man took a bow, “am Mr. Hood. I am the ‘Director of Activities’ or DOA for HeHeHe… at your service. You must be Zach’s dad,” it wasn’t a question. “I recognize you from his drawings,” Mr. Hood pointed to a picture taped up in the brightly colored hallway of a stick figure… human? holding a… boy? on his shoulders while a stick figure… dog? Yapped from the ground. “Zach did a wonderful job of capturing your jawline. He is quite the artist.”

  Looking at the other well drawn pictures taped to the wall, Mac wasn’t inclined to agree, but his son was standing there with a proud look on his face… “Certainly.”

  “You’re probably thinking about comparing his drawing to the other more refined pictures on the wall,” Mr. Hood continued with attention still proudly on Zach’s stick figure drawing. “However, Zach quite correctly captured one aspect of his subject near perfectly, and from his natural viewing angle, I might add.”

  It didn’t sound like false praise however Mac turned the words over in his mind. He took a moment to look a little closer at the drawing and remembered what it looked like when he put his head back to shave his neck. Sure enough, he could see the resemblance in his mind’s eye.

  “He’s also our best team player,” Mr. Hood continued to heap compliments on the boy. “His team almost always shows the most improvement in any assigned task, from cutting paper targets and solving physical logic problems to dragon care and lock picking. I think he may have real talent in those last ones… I’ve had to make a habit of changing locks on a more frequent basis. I wouldn’t want him to get into the shark tank without supervision. We don’t go over the basics of shark handling for another two weeks, and I wouldn’t want Ellie to get hurt,” Mr. Hood motioned through the wide glass window in a nearby door to a large circular pool with a huge shark patrolling the distant perimeter.

  “We’re still training reptiles,” Mr. Hood sighed. “Not all the children are as receptive as your son Zach, and we’ve been slowed down by trips to the infirmary taking care of bites and administering antidotes. I haven’t decided if we’ll complete the section on asps and cobras. The children usually love it, but I am concerned for a few of them this cycle.”

  “Janessa, tried to poke one. They don’t like that,” Zach spoke up. “She swelled up real big where it bit her, but Mr. Hood gave her the… the…”

  “Antidote,” the zealous teacher supplied the word as Zach seemed to give up searching.

  “Yeah! That’s it. Antidote,” Zach smiled widely.

  “She was quite the trooper. If you’ll come across the hall…” Mr. Hood directed Mac with a hand motion to another large glass door, “you can see our auto shop. I’m particularly proud of this facility.” Several children were inside looking under the hood of a vehicle, while a shortish golden-haired lady that seemed rather familiar pointed to things. Beyond them a few smaller children were lined up outside the long van Mac had arrived in. “We believe in hands-on learning and use the hotwiring class to help teach colors as an added bonus. Zach, can you tell your dad your best time?”

  “If you start from when I get inside… I think I’m at fifty-eight seconds,” Zach responded thoughtfully.

  “Under a minute! That’s great,” Mr. Hood commended Zach, then he turned to Mac and whispered softly, “We’re still making sure they get their basics down before we move on to shortcuts. Don’t worry, he’ll get faster.”

  “Are those kids taking a tire off a rim?” Mac pointed to two young elves using a machine. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

  “Not to worry,” Mr. Hood replied with a nod. “That’s Remus and Romulus, they figured out how to do that on their own when they were six,” Mr. Hood smiled. “Sneaky little mechanical geniuses snuck in after hours and used the hydraulic press back at the main headquarters facility.”

  “We don’t want to distract them too much,” Mr. Hood waved the group away from the glass door and down the extra wide hallway even as Zach waved at one of his friends. “Let me show you the overnight facilities. They’re opposite our indoor range. Zach’s had to use them a few times.”

  “This is the main boy’s room,” Mr. Hood opened a door to a high ceiling room. The room had several lofted beds on each side with child-size desks and shelves on the underside. A climbing wall was attached to the end of each bed providing access to the top. “Zach, would you like to show your dad your bunk?”

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  “Yes!” Zach smiled and ran down to a bunk on one side. It had an official looking picture of Mac on the desk that was probably from his application. “This is mine,” the boy stated proudly.

  “Show your dad how you climb in,” Mr. Hood urged.

  Zach hopped onto the climbing wall and carefully made his way to the top. At least there were railings.

  “And how do we get down?” the wild-eyed teacher called back cheerfully.

  “We push the red button… and jump,” Zach smacked a red button that lighted up and then leapt from the top.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Mac started forward in alarm.

  “Don’t worry,” Mr. Hood held Mac back as the boy neatly floated to the ground and landed in a three-point stance. “We train them how to land safely the first night. Oh, and we use a repulsor field to slow the descent. It’s the same technology that our jump troopers use and its even in some of the battle suits. Zach, do you want to show your dad how the floor is lava?”

  “You’re not using real…?” Mac raised a finger in opening protest.

  “Sure,” Zach smiled and got back on his climbing wall.

  “We set it for ‘easy’ since he still can’t jump that far,” Mr. Hood explained to Mac softly with a wink. “Wouldn’t want him to get hurt.” Then, he called to Zach, “Ready?”

  “Ready!”

  Mr. Hood pressed a button next to the doorframe and the already sunken floor around most of the room lowered about three inches allowing water from the shark tank room next door to fill it with an inch of water as red lights attached to sides of the “islands” flipped on to provide a satisfactory reddish-yellow glow. “This is why you can’t leave your socks on the floor. One day of walking around with that squishy feeling and they learn,” Mr. Hood commented to Mac. Then he called over to Zach, “Escape the self-destructing lair.”

  Zach nodded and hopped gleefully from island to island until back at his dad’s side on the larger island at the front of the room.

  “Good work, Zach,” the director patted the gleeful child on the shoulder. “Please reset the room to normal.”

  Zach flipped the switch back to its original position and the water drained back out.

  “Now, I’d like to show you our main instruction room,” Mr. Hood led them down the surprisingly wide hall past several significant claw marks in the carpet. “We teach them to use the man door,” Mr. Hood explained as he led them into the room via the glass door beside the large overhead door.

  Once they were inside the spacious room the director pointed out cables hanging from the ceiling, “Those come down and shock the kids when they get a question wrong.”

  “Wait, what?!” Mac turned to Mr. Hood.

  “I jest, just making sure you’re listening,” the director replied with a laugh even as his haunted eyes gleefully took in the room. “They’re actually part of some hologram projection technology. R&D had them installed just a few weeks ago, and I’m still experimenting with it. So far, I’ve only been able to make an electrical storm. You can almost feel it. When I sent my request in to R&D a few years ago, I didn’t think they’d really be able to do it. They even have a prototype, wireless brain-to-machine interface installed in here that can utilize your memories to build an environment. That’s how I recreated this amazing storm,” Mr. Hood explained as his hair drifted upwards and tiny leaders began questing for the boiling clouds now above them, the smell of nitrogen filled the air, and that metallic electrical taste danced on the tip of Mac’s tongue. “And with just a little bit of practice, I’m quite confident I can use it to bring the kids’ wildest imaginations to life,” Mr. Hood spread his hands as lightning struck a tree behind him in a shower of sparks and thunder echoed through the valley. “Finally.”

  “As a teacher, I always wanted to give my pupils the best possible experience,” Mr. Hood began to ramble as the tree behind him caught fire and began to burn. “But, there was never any budget for it. It wasn’t like I got paid a lot. I started finding creative ways to supplement my income so I could acquire better learning tools for my kids and improve my classroom, which was marvelous. Children loved my class. We had real learning, and even the kids with special needs could thrive in my classroom. Parents used to get in fist fights over getting their children into my class. Of course, the acquiring of those educational supplements led to later and later nights, which can be exhausting for one primarily employed by the school system.”

  “One day,” Mr. Hood continued, “the school principal complained that one of the kinetic learning tools I had… acquired was too dangerous despite the school having government approved hazard suits for each of the children. I had taken great pains to arrange for their donation. He insisted and made me remove it from my classroom, and it wasn’t like I could just bring it home. That could have led to inconvenient questions that as a dedicated teacher I just didn’t have time to answer. I hadn’t paid much attention to it at the time, but HeHeHe was the supplier, and I had gotten their attention. Long story short, after a delightful game of professional tag and subsequent interview, I was the new director for their future centers a few weeks later.”

  “You stole from HeHeHe?” Mac asked carefully.

  “No… well yes, but not really. I gave it back,” Mr. Hood dissembled. “HeHeHe was impressed by my dedication to my students and natural ingenuity, so they offered me my dream job. My budget is limited only by my imagination…” Mr. Hood’s haunted eyes took on that wild look as his uplifted hands spread out to his sides, then he returned back to earth, “and if the CFO says ‘no’ (which does happen occasionally. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get office supplies?), I have to grade in crayon… or laser pen. Have you ever held down the trigger too long and had recreate an entire sheet after it burns to ash.”

  “No?” Mac replied hesitantly.

  “After the fourth time, I just started using crayon.” Mr. Hood confided. “Although I think I may have come across a potential workaround with this fancy hologram projection system. On a related note, would you like to try making something for it. The library is empty so anything you add is better than what we have,” Mr. Hood offered hopefully. “We’re still learning about the jungle this week. If you have any experiences, the interface could peel it off your brain and let the children experience it.”

  “I’m considering,” Mac was reminded of what he was now quite confident was one of his run-ins with HeHeHe during his internship. Not exactly the best experience.

  “Afterwards, you could join the kids in some Funny Car 4 racing,” Mr. Hood played his trump card. “I think I have a few adult-size suits lying around that the staff might use in the evenings… for educational purposes.”

  “Come on, Dad,” Zach pleaded. “Please!”

  “I’ll do it,” Mac acceded bringing a creepy grin to the director’s face. “How does it work?”

  XXXXX

  “Open your eyes, Zach’s dad,” Mr. Hood invited like the off-kilter fairy godmother who’d managed to get drunk on her flight to the baby shower. Also, not entirely real (There was no way they could actually fly with such weak gossamer wings), but there were quite a few entertaining children’s stories based around the self-important Fae isle folk, almost all advising caution. He remembered his parents telling him one as a child before bed. It hadn’t ended well for any party involved. He absently wondered if the child had ever found his real parents or what had become of the changeling. He should probably just open his eyes.

  Large trees jutted up from the dead leaves and debris until they vanished into the mist. A spider the size of small dog and probably just as mean squatted in a web just few feet from his head causing him to step back. “I remember that,” Mac commented to anyone who might be listening.

  “Remember what?” Zach asked from below his line of sight where he was observing a line of industrious carpenter ants.

  “That banana spider,” Mac recalled even as the tingling continued in his brain. “I nearly walked into the web.”

  “Oh,” Zach stood up to look at it closer and began reaching for it, “She’s a big one.”

  “Don’t… touch that,” Mac gently lowered his son’s arm. “They like to be left alone.”

  “Right,” said a wide-eyed girl in a floppy lavender hat and matching sundress as she stepped around a tree trunk. She was holding something with an obscenely wide barrel behind her back. Mac instinctively stepped in front of his son.

  “That looks like the R&D director,” Mr. Hood commented from Mac’s other side. “Hi, Miss Windsor,” he waved. “Are you here to see your holographic projection system in action?”

  “Please, call me Haley,” the young woman replied with a smile so mischievous that even Janessa would feel personally challenged. “I believe you know Amethyst,” She motioned to another woman stepping out from the opposite side of the trunk wearing form-fitting jungle fatigues and an awkward looking pack on her back.

  “So that’s how you remember me,” the nurse outfit-wearing Amethyst beside him commented.

  “I thought you were pretty cute at the time,” Mac commented. “It was a shame you were pointing that weird weapon at me.”

  “What do you mean, ‘were’, Laddie?” Amethyst challenged him.

  “You realize there is no right way to answer that,” Mac shot back rather logically annoyed. Amethyst lifted her nose marginally and crossed her arms. Mac simply huffed and gave her a look worthy of every policeman that had ever been lied to.

  “Uhm, hello? Me.” Haley waved a hand for attention then pointed to herself.

  “Is there a way to remove the people,” Mac turned back to Mr. Hood. “I didn’t mean to include them but I had a run-in with Miss Windsor earlier today that refreshed my memory.

  Haley put the hand on her hip that wasn’t carrying the high-powered weapon allowing it to dangle at her side. “Hello? I’m here.”

  “Not for long,” Mac replied absently as he waved her off.

  The offended woman angrily marched up and proceeded to shoot Mac in the back of the head with her high-powered weapon.

  The shot exploded in a tree somewhere behind Mr. Hood after passing through both of them. With that failure she tossed the weapon to the ground in frustration, stepped between him and Mr. Hood, then kicked Mac in his shin as hard as she could. Her foot passed right through him and she landed on her back in between them. Her face was a cute mix of anger and bewilderment.

  “How did you know that wouldn’t kill me?” Mac finally addressed the young woman glaring up at him from the ground.

  “I was kind of hoping it would.”

  “You never change, do you?” Mac nodded sadly, even as a shocked Mr. Hood urgently fumbled with an oversize remote he had just pulled out of his pants pocket.

  “What are you doing?” Mac returned his attention to a rather concerned looking Mr. Hood.

  “Just checking on the safety settings,” the wild-eyed Mr. Hood replied. “You could have warned me about the hostiles.”

  “You’re pulling that off, but it doesn’t quite suit you,” the camouflaged Amethyst commented to her white-clad original.

  “The shock leader’s idea,” Amethyst replied. “Not much I can do about it. It’s the lad’s fault,” she thumbed towards Mac.

  “Excuse me! You’re the one who tried to kill me,” Mac interjected.

  “No luck for you either, eh?” the camouflaged Amethyst replied.

  “Just how many people want you dead?” Mr. Hood asked rather earnestly, like one professional thief trying to compare his accomplishments to another.

  “I’ve lost count,” Mac replied, but I think most of them work here.

  “What am I, chopped liver?” Haley piped up from where she was still lying in feigned helplessness on the ground. “Isn’t someone,” she gave Mac a hard look, “Going to offer to help me up?”

  “I’ll help you, lady,” Zach stepped forward and held his hand out.

  “At least someone is a gentleman,” Haley took Zach’s hand and allowed him to help her up.

  Mr. Hood’s eyes went wide and he checked his remote again before pressing a few buttons.

  “I thought you loved me,” Haley gazed back up at Mac.

  “Mr. Hood, please end the simulation,” Mac said as calmly as he could with a fake smile plastered across his face.

  “It’s not working,” the concerned teacher replied with something between horror and genuine excitement as he repeatedly smashed the bottom button on the remote.

  “Oh, is that how this thing works?” the wide-eyed Haley smiled in Mr. Hood’s direction.