Sherbie and I get an early start riding out of Crule. I listen to my friend tell me about his painful tattooing experience, a little tired of his wining but impressed nonetheless. I can’t believe this guy really went through with something so painful, not just once, but twelve separate times before the tattoo was completed. I wonder if I’d have the guts to do something like that…

  “I never asked, where are we headed now?” Sherbie says when we’ve been riding for about an hour.

  “Ultimately, to Efja, to meet the dwarven druids.”

  “Oh, yeah! They’re sure to have some interesting skills for me to learn. But I feel bad, making you ride all this way just for my sake.”

  “It’s not just for your sake. There’s a skill there I need to take, too.”

  “How do you know that?” Sherbie asks innocently.

  “Someone…told me there was a skill in Efja that went with Oaken Heart.”

  “Someone? Oh, you must mean Solarin.”

  “Yeah, Solarin,” I say. We’ll go with that. Since Sherbie doesn’t know about Ari, or how the god of TC brought him to me, essentially gifting me a blank canvas healer to build as I like. A trusting guy who’d follow me wherever I went and do whatever I asked him to, and never once ask me why.

  Ari told me if I combined Oaken Heart with the Heart of Stone skill taught at Efja, and evolve it, it would turn me into a monster. It’s only a coincidence that visiting the druids will benefit Sherbie as well. Even if it didn’t, I’m sure he’d go along with me on this purely selfish quest of mine without a word of complaint.

  Yes, that’s right. Every single stop on this journey of ours was designed to benefit me, and me alone. Beginning with Crule, which we’ve left behind us, and going now to Highwall.

  “I never told you…” I say as we slow our mounts, coming to a particularly rocky section of trail. Just then I notice one of the rocks ahead of us roll itself off the road seemingly by its own power. It’s not the only one, I realize. Here and there, all over the place, small to mid-sized rocks are shown to be sentient, though not aggressive. They way they’re moving and acting, they’re almost like… Geodude? Yeah, these are definitely rock type pokémon…

  Sherbie hasn’t noticed them, yet. Good. If he did, he’d definitely want to stop and catch one for a pet, and who knows how long that would take?

  “Never told me what?” he asks, and I realize he’s still waiting for me to finish my thought.

  “I got a hidden quest while fighting the giant.”

  “A hidden quest?!” Sherbie’s face lights up like a Christmas tree at my words. “What is it, what is it??”

  I share it with him.

  [Hidden Quest: The Bastion of Highwall

  Visit Kirin the Defender in Highwall to master the secrets of the dual shield wielding technique.]

  “Aw, man. I was hoping I could take it, too.”

  “Sorry. Defender only.”

  “Still, it’s cool to imagine you wielding two shields!”

  “Cool isn’t the word most would use,” I chuckle. “More like lame. But I think it’s probably the right direction to take this build. I’m going for defense, only defense, and I’ll let my friends handle the offense. And you, well—”

  “I’m your walking first-aid kit.”

  I look to him sharply, but Sherbie only smiles at me.

  “You think I don’t know it? The highest a healer can ever aspire to is sidekick to the main character.”

  “I’m not the main character. And you’re more than just a sidekick,” I say, squeezed by guilt.

  “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m happy just being along for the ride.”

  I press my lips together, disappointed in myself. I take Sherbie too much for granted. From the beginning, little by little I’ve been stripping away his ability to play a solo character. In a way, I guess I really did turn him into my sidekick, assuming he’d be alright with it because we were friends.

  What have I done recently to make the game fun for Sherbie? Perhaps it’s time I start thinking of his character’s needs and wants as well as my own. That’s what a good leader would do. And a good friend.

  “Hold up a minute,” I say, reining in Horse. Beside me, Harrietta slows her stride, hardly winded as she brings her long swinging arms to rest beside her.

  “What is it?”

  “Just ahead. See that rock?” I say, pointing to one of the rock dudes. “It’s alive.”

  “Whaaaa?” Sherbie’s eyes are shining as we watch a rock the size of a volleyball roll itself in a lazy zig-zag pattern across the road.

  “I wonder if you could tame it with your Druid ability.”

  Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

  “You think I could?” he says with wonder. “I always wanted a rock for a pet.”

  “That’s probably the only kind of pet I could keep alive…”

  With a slight smile, I watch Sherbie crawl out of Harrietta’s pouch, keeping his body small and low to the ground as he calls to the rock in a friendly, cooing tone. I guess this kind of delay isn’t so bad, every now and again…

  “Hey, little guy. Or, girl…”

  Roll, roll, roll…

  “You’re pretty fast, even without legs.”

  Roll, roll, roll…

  “What are you, 99% igneous rock? Well I’m gonna be your 100% friend…”

  Roll, roll, roll…

  “Get back here, you. Don’t give me the cold boulder shoulder…”

  Sigh. We’re gonna be here for a while.

  An hour later, with Sherbie riding in Harrietta’s pouch and lugging his new best friend in his arms, a message pops up in front of my eyes.

  Bruiser9000: this the guild chat?

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: haaaiiiii!

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: are you a boy? i love youuuuuu~~~

  Revelator (Guild Leader): Yeah, Bruiser, what’s up?

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: is that my favorite boy Revelator? i love youuuuuu!!

  Revelator (Guild Leader): Hi, Misa

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: senpai noticed me yaaay

  Sherbert: h

  Sherbert: hi

  Sherbert: hi misa

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: kya! so cute!!! suki-desu!!!!!!!!

  Sherbert: uwu

  “Would you knock it off, Sherbie?”

  “Sorry…”

  Ok, skipping past nine flirty messages from Misa-pyon for Sherbie…

  Bruiser9000: you owe me a battle big dog

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: ( ?°?°) !!

  Revelator (Guild Leader): Right.

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: are you fighting over misa-pyon?

  Revelator (Guild Leader): You want to meet up at the guild base?

  Bruiser9000: yeah. gloves are coming off

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: ヽ(°〇°)?

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: Im so there!!

  Revelator (Guild Leader): don’t come

  ChuchuMisa-pyon: ?(?? ? ? )??

  “Teleporting back?” Sherbie asks excitedly.

  “Yeah. Got to fight him once a day. That was our agreement.”

  “Sounds like Misa’s coming too, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to show her my new pet!”

  “Just careful you don’t end up as her pet…”

  “Hahaha—”

  I’m serious.

  Using the guild teleportation stone, Sherbie and I are transmitted from the misty mountains to the deep forest. The canopy of towering trees blocks out the sun, though a chorus of chirping birds high overhead reassures us of its light.

  As soon as we touch the earth Sherbie’s feet are spinning out from beneath him, headed straight for the stable.

  “My babies! I’ve missed you! Let me show you your new brother!”

  Guess he forgot about Misa.

  Passing Bruiser9000 and ChuchuMisa-pyon, he’s completely oblivious to the spectacle of gramps harassing Mr. No Exit, pressing her boobs into his side and tickling his chin with the end of her kitty tail. Meanwhile Bruiser just stands there with his arms folded, large sweat drops on his temples, a definitely tense and anxious expression on his usually confident face.

  “Ara! Don’t be shy! Imouto-chan will take good care of you!”

  “My G!” he shouts the moment he sees me, pushing right past Misa so she topples to her backside with a little kya~ sound, practically running to my side. “Dap me up, Brother!”

  I give my idol the Bruiser a somewhat starstruck high five.

  Wow. This is like, the coolest moment of my life.

  “Anyway, about our fight—”

  Bruiser’s raring to go, pouring sweat, his eyes desperate as he hears Misa running up behind him.

  “Revelator-kun! Misa-pyon missed you!”

  I cringe as she throws herself at me, raising my shield reflexively so she’ll bounce right off of it. But she’s faster than that.

  With a yandre gleam in her eye, she switches to a Naruto run at the last moment, skirting around my defenses so she lands herself between me and my shield.

  “Avoiding me?”

  For some reason, making eye contact with Bruiser, the guy looks about to piss himself. Is he scared of Misa? What the heck’s his deal?

  “Did you think I’d let you get away that easily?”

  Gramps is still playing the yandre character, but I just push him off me without a thought.

  “Wow. You got fast.”

  “You noticed? Misa-pyon is so happy!” she says in her more normal annoying voice, losing the psychotic look she had a moment ago and clasping her hands beside her face.

  “Yeah. What’s your agility score?” I ask, pulling up Misa’s character screen, and my eyes pop out of my head at what I see.

  “How the heck are you level 16 already?!”

  “Misa-pyon’s oni-chans helped her level up by taking her to level 15 dungeons when she was just level 4,” she says, blinking innocently. “Everyone is soooo nice to Misa-pyon!”

  If I were an anime character, tears would be streaming from my eyes right now. Playing a girl really is easy mode!

  “Misa-pyon got all this armor for you, by the way, since you’re Misa’s favorite,” she says with a wink and a kissy face, opening her inventory and spilling out a pile of dungeon gear pieces onto the ground.

  Banzai! Banzai, easy mode!

  “I love you, Misa! You’re the best!”

  “Yay! Praise Misa more!” she cries, jumping up and down with me, with her arms around my waist.

  “Yay, Misa-pyon!” Sherbie chimes in as he comes out of the stables, having no idea what we’re talking about but happy to get in on the party.

  “Sherberto-san! Ai shiteru, baby!”

  “Ah hah hah!” he laughs like an idiot as she jumps on him next.

  Before I can go to examine the armor, Bruiser’s got me by the arm. He pulls me back several feet as I watch Misa pull out the Minotaur axes from her inventory to show them off with cutsie poses to a cheering Sherbie.

  Damn it, Yock even sold her the Minotaur axes?! She’s probably the strongest person in the guild already, and she only joined a few days ago. Even stronger than Bruiser!

  Vaguely, I’m aware of the Bruiser hissing in my ear.

  “Who the hell is that chick?”

  “That’s Misa. I believe I warned you about her…”

  He gulps, practically hiding behind me as he watches her over my shoulder.

  “I knew this waitress once, she found out I was a UFC fighter. Girl became obsessed with me.”

  Bragging again?! This asshole!

  “She figured out where I lived, used to wait for me in front of my door. Then one day, I found her waiting inside my apartment. She’d slipped in through a window I’d forgotten to close, went through all my drawers. Said the clothes were folded the wrong way, and refolded everything. She arranged my underpants by color,” he says, shuddering at the memory of his neatly arranged underwear drawer. “A perfect rainbow.”

  “Sounds like wife material.”

  “That one...looks exactly like her,” he says, nodding to Misa-pyon.

  “Your stalker had kitty ears and a tail?”

  “That Chuchu chick...she gives me the creeps.”

  Honestly, same. Though, for reasons the Bruiser couldn’t begin to guess...

  “Be careful with that one,” he advises. “She’s not who she seems to be.”

  “Oh, buddy, you have no idea...”