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Chapter 50 : The Future Me

  Daniel's knees hit the tile.

  He looked down. There was blood on his shirt. His hand went to his side and came back red. The room tilted sideways, the lights above stretching into long white streaks.

  I got shot.

  The thought arrived late. But his brain was still catching up, still stuck on the moment before.

  You cheated.

  The tile was cold against his palms. Some of Li Wentao's men looked slightly upset, as if the whole thing wasn't planned, but they shut up the moment Li Wentao scanned the room. Even now, wounded, it only took a look to regain control.

  "I have to admit I really underestimated you. If you had a bit more time, even a single more day, you may have beaten me," spat Li Wentao. "But we live in a time where talent means nothing."

  Li Wentao was getting up. Daniel could see him across the room, pushing himself off the broken table, the gun still in his hand. His suit was torn at the shoulder and his hair had come loose.

  "This is the cold reality. No matter how much we don't want to face it. What use is there in the current world for martial arts. The world is where dreams go to die. But once I unite these fools, one day. We'll go past our limits, just like the stories. But you won't see that future."

  He aimed for Daniel's head.

  "Stop!"

  Henry broke free of the man holding him and ran towards Li Wentao.

  "You?"

  His hands grabbed on to Li Wentao's arm, trying to wrestle the gun from him. The shot went wide and punched into the ceiling, plaster raining down across the banquet hall floor.

  "Fool, you can't even use qi. You think you can stop me? You fat idiot."

  Some men started to approach, but Li Wentao scowled at them until they moved back. "I need no help."

  Li Wentao curled up a fist, but Henry was pushing him back. The blow struck him on the side, and Henry spat out blood. His sneakers squeaked against the tile as he dug in.

  "I can't do anything. I know it. I'm useless. All I got is me. But if I can just give you a few more seconds... Daniel, get up. Don't give up. Don't think you're in here alone."

  Li Wentao wrenched his arm free and hit Henry on the face. Henry stumbled, but kept holding Li Wentao, shoving him back.

  "I didn't run around for nothing..."

  He struck Henry again, and again.

  "I won't give in, bitch. You think I'll go down that easily..."

  Daniel was coughing out blood. He looked around for something to use, anything. He was running on fumes now. Maybe he was at his limits. But he was still breathing. That meant he could still fight.

  He looked and saw Li Qinghua's sword on the ground. One of the guys must have dropped it when him and Li Wentao collided. Fuck. It didn't work before, but let's try this again.

  He picked it up, swinging it back around. Yang. The sword seemed to respond more vigorously to him now, the blade humming in his grip so strong he could feel it in his teeth.

  If the Raindrop Sword was flexible, then what about the True Yang sword? What made this sword so legendary? True Yang? He reversed the Chinese characters in his head. True Man? Be a real man? Was this even right?

  Think.

  Li Qinghua's words came to his mind. Her discussion of Martial Arts, Houtian, and Xiantian. The sword was humming in his hands now as if it was telling him something. A hint that slowly formed in his head on how things were supposed to work.

  Go past being a regular person. Go past human limits.

  Maybe there was no special skill to this sword. It was just a reminder to whoever was using it. Not to give up. A real man wouldn't stop even if the sky fell over. If the world beats you down, beat back the fucking world.

  Li Wentao kicked Henry, sending him flying towards the back.

  "Useless. Even if you had a hundred years, you would never amount to anything."

  Li Wentao turned and saw Daniel with the sword.

  "You couldn't beat me with it before. What makes you think you have a chance now?" He laughed, tapping his gun.

  He aimed and fired. Daniel raised his hands and tried to block it with the sword, but the bullet hit him on the shoulder. The impact spun him half a step sideways. Fuck. It was really hard. Guns. It was impossible to beat, even the forum members all thought there was no way to block bullets.

  But just because it's hard doesn't mean it isn't possible. If no one can block bullets, then it just means I have to be the first one.

  Stop thinking. He opened his eyes. His hands rested on the blade. Believe in the work. Believe you can be something more.

  His foot moved forward and his mind took him back in time, as if stepping on the platforms in Li Qinghua's courtyard. Hard work is rewarded. Effort means something.

  Li Wentao believed that the real world was where dreams go to die, but that wasn't true. The last few months had been nothing but a dream for him, dreams of getting stronger, of fighting back, of being better than he ever was. Wasn't he already doing the impossible?

  If I can breathe. I can do it. If I can think it. It becomes real.

  He raised the sword. This is just another fist coming at your head, another bully that needs to get beat down.

  Li Wentao fired. Daniel raised his sword, and it drew a line in front of him as if slicing the memory from his head. The bullet bounced off, flickering to the side. The ringing filled the banquet hall and every person in the room heard it, a sound that didn't belong in a restaurant in Chinatown, that belonged somewhere older and stranger.

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  "What the fuck," spat Li Wentao. "Not possible."

  Daniel took a step forward. Then another.

  Li Wentao fired again. The sword caught it. The ring went through the floor and Daniel felt it in his bones, felt something in his meridians respond to it, the qi in his body flaring brighter with each step he took. Bright Yang.

  I am. And so I become.

  The men along the walls could feel it. A few of them stepped back without realizing they'd moved.

  "The martial world is dead, even in stories, no one can beat the test of time. Guns killed it all. Foreigners? Europeans? Nothing but hypocrites destroying everything they touch."

  Li Wentao fired again. His hand was shaking now. The shot pulled to the left, wild, desperate. The composed man with the pressed suit and the lobster dinner was gone. What was left was something less than that, a child still asking for help.

  "If men could beat bullets, then why did everyone die back then in the war. None of this would have happened. I wouldn't have had to suffer. Even now, you think people care? There are so few of us left and all they can talk about is magic. Magic, another western fucking invention."

  Daniel's hands moved before he did. The blade caught it without effort.

  "When did you stop believing?"

  One line. That was all that came out of him. His mouth had tried to say more but his body was past words now, past arguments, past the part of him that wanted to explain things. The sword was moving and his feet were moving and the rest of him had gone somewhere he couldn't follow.

  Li Wentao pulled the trigger again. The blade swept down and caught the bullet and kept going. One motion. It went through Li Wentao's wrist before either of them could blink.

  Li Wentao's hand hit the floor still holding the gun.

  Li Wentao screamed. He dropped to his knees. Blood poured through his fingers, pooling on the tile. Still he didn't give up. Venom shot through his eyes.

  "I don't lose!"

  Li Wentao forced himself up and struck Daniel, knocking the sword out of his hand. Daniel stumbled back, then came again.

  "Finally," spat Daniel, his vision blurring. Shot. Bleeding. Now they were both on an even playing field. "Now, it's a fair fight."

  A fist came up and he ate it, but then he threw another back at Li Wentao and he fell over, before getting up. Back and forth as if having an argument. Over and over as if the memories were swirling around them. And then only Daniel stood.

  Li Wentao stumbled before falling back onto the ground, beaten.

  Daniel gripped him by his shirt, pulling back another fist. He could finish this. Make him answer for Li Qinghua. Take revenge. That was the wuxia way. Revenge, power, legacy.

  Take Henry. Beat those thugs and leave. Get stronger. Daniel spat blood. Or maybe not. He was pretty fucked up right now. But nobody would blame him.

  Li Wentao was a cheater, a scumbag, a loser that kicked and stole from everyone till only he was the one left. Nobody in this room would probably stop him. Maybe half of them would thank him for it.

  His leg nearly gave out. He caught it.

  Or he could forgive. Tell Li Wentao he understood. Try to reach whatever was left of that kid back all those years ago at the front of those sects. Forgive and forget. But that wasn't completely right either.

  The thing was that Li Wentao wasn't wrong. Qingcheng turned him away. Emei told him to solve it himself. Huashan said the world was bigger than one kid. Those things happened. Daniel couldn't argue them away. Nobody came for a ten-year-old kid standing alone with a dead father behind him. That was real.

  But Li Wentao had taken what happened and decided it was the whole picture. Looked at a closed door and concluded every door was closed. And then he'd spent forty years proving himself right. Close enough doors and eventually the world matches the story you tell about it.

  Daniel thought about every good thing that had happened to him since he first felt qi. Li Qinghua. The forum. Even Li Mei. None of it was supposed to happen. Every bit of it came through a choice he didn't know existed, and he would have missed all of it if he'd done the safe thing.

  If Li Wentao had gone back stronger, better. Things could have turned out differently. If he was older, Qingcheng would have taken him more seriously. If he was confident, Emei may have aided him, and if he was reasonable Huashan may have changed their mind.

  Once you put it into words, you limit what it could be.

  He saw movement to his left, and Li Mei coughed out blood before looking at the scene before her. She was still alive, and looked at him both confused and worried. Not knowing what was going on. Somehow, that relieved Daniel a bit. It felt like one more mistake that he didn't make.

  He made a lot of dumb decisions, but those decisions made up his whole life.

  I am me. And no one can make my choices but me. Not the world, not qi, and not some angry guy on the floor.

  I can be a hero, or I can be a villain. Cause both are right.

  Li Qinghua seemed to raise her head from afar.

  Cause martial arts were made to be practical. The best style isn't good or bad. It's whatever fits the situation.

  In his head, it felt like the world was a list of possible futures. A row of doors that lined up before him of the choices he made throughout his life.

  In another time, another place. He could have been friends with Li Mei. They both could have worked together, been part of the Black Tiger Society, and even gotten married. And he could shut this door closed like Li Wentao did for the sects.

  It's probably a mistake. It's probably stupid.

  But he got the feeling. He looked at Li Wentao heaving. He got the feeling maybe he didn't need to shut this door closed either.

  Once you kill someone, you've closed every future where they could have been different.

  He let go of Li Wentao's shirt.

  His right knee buckled. He caught it. Held it. His vision was going gray at the edges.

  "You said no one cares about the Martial World," Daniel said. His voice sounded thin and far away. "But Li Qinghua did. She was right here. In this city. This whole time."

  Li Wentao didn't look up.

  "But I'm sure she'd have loved to talk to you if you didn't fight. You said you were from Wudang. She probably thought all of you had died."

  Daniel coughed again.

  He thought of the forum. RisingPhoenix. WulinCrane66. DrunkenScholar. BitterTea. LaughingSword. People he'd never met, spending their nights typing into a screen about something the rest of the world had forgotten. Passing notes back and forth, trying to bring back the past.

  And not only them. There were probably more people out there right now that he didn't know. Who probably loved the world as it was before. Who would do anything to bring that world back. A world of flying swords and wise immortals, high above the mountaintops.

  If Li Wentao had just reached out. Brought all the lost people into the fold. He'd have more resources and help than he would have now.

  When you play the part, you play it till the end. Maybe, he was right about that.

  "And there are people. You don't know them. But they would have loved to help you, listen to you, and keep it alive."

  He got up and then started walking away.

  "I'm not going to pretend this is the right thing. Or that I should finish you for real. But I think..."

  And then he saw himself, older, somewhere farther ahead in the future. This one wearing wide flowing robes and a white beard. He still had that same hurt in his eye as a kid, but there were other things too. Wisdom. Intelligence. But also, a peace.

  "I think I'll just do whatever the fuck I want. Kill you? Spare you? Let the future me decide that."

  Daniel swung his arm.

  "You said no one helped you as a kid. Then right now, I'm going to help you out. I'm giving you a chance. Do the right thing. Give back what you stole. Live a good and normal life."

  He looked down at Li Wentao and then he saw past the man, and looked at the kid, angry and bitter, still wandering lost hurting everyone around him. If there had been someone back then, if he could go back in time, and hold his hand. Maybe, that door wouldn't be closed either.

  And that kid then changed to Daniel, walking away four years ago when he was a child, looking at a different kid. A little girl watching from a window. I'll give you the same chance I give myself.

  People make mistakes, but you don't have to become one for the rest of your life.

  "And if you can't figure it out. If you've lost your way."

  He raised his hand up and leaned back. His back silhouetted against the backdrop of the lights in the room. Daniel walked back. His fist in the air.

  "I will show you the way."

  Then Daniel's leg finally gave out. He stumbled forward, and his foot came down on nothing. On air, or space, or whatever it was that caught him. His body rose six inches off the floor and for one perfect impossible second he was standing in the air as if it were solid.

  The room stopped. Every person in it stopped. Li Mei stared at the spot where he had been.

  It is said only celestial deities can step on the clouds.

  And then it was over.

  "Oh, what the fuck? What did I step on?"

  He fell over. Lay there staring at the ceiling, too confused to be in pain.

  She looked away.

  Just the wind. He's an idiot.

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