the world of siege, all the kingdoms of the world tremble at the newly arisen demon lord, no-one from there world would dare to oppose him, so the biggest kingdom decided to "borrow" someone who would.

  (in the kings' court)

  (many mages gather around a magic circle)

  [the head mage]..we are here to summon a hero for our world in its hour of need,...at your command your highness, we are ready to begin the ritual.

  [his highness]...begin!

  [the mages]mecalecahimecahiniogivusaherotobattleevilforgoo-

  {one of them farts due to some beans and cabbedge he had}

  (one of them)dLORD, what is that smell!

  {the one on the other side of the offender vomits on the circle}

  [the head mage]OH-NO!, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU IMBISI-

  {the circle shines bright, blinding them all momentaraly}

  LLLLLLLLLEEES!

  .......................

  {after the light dies down, they all look to see a small person curled up in the center of the circle}

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  {the figure gets up, revealing a body that's just "off" looking, with thin gangly arms and legs, gloved hands, a bowtie, comparatively big shoes, a rectangular body, and a face that has no nose, eyes that look too big for its head, and a mouth too wide and thin)

  ( it looks around it}

  [the head mage]............................what the devil is that thing?.. it's hideous.

  [???]...golly,..what the potato salad happened? i was drivin my new auto-mobile home from the shop, and here i am surounded by secret scociety members...did somone spike my martini?

  [one of the mages] oh-dear-lord-it-talks.

  [the king].....uhhhhhh...well...you seem to be a summoned hero now....

  (he regains his composer) we need your help defeating the demon lord.

  [???] MMH? {it go's into an old-timey boxing stance}

  al-right, show me whare the big palooka his, i'll murdalize him, i'll send him into next summer, i'lle corn his cob, let-mi-at-em, let-mi-at-em!

  [one of the mages to the king]...you can't be serious, sir?

  [the head mage] do you know how expensive this ritual is?...the treasury just pays for it!

  [???]..wait,..treasury?, treasure means ritch!

  {suddenly it's wearing a dress, a blond wig, and lipstick, and sitting on the king's lap sideways}

  so i heard your verry wealthy big-bo~~y.

  .....{one or two of the mages hold back laughter}

  [the king] GET THE #$%@ OFF ME!

  {tosses it off}

  ....wait,...did something just make a noise over my words....#$%@,...#$%@!..#$%@!!...what the hell?!..HOW IS THIS HAPPENING!

  [???]...{it wiggles it's finger}no bad words, Mr. potty mouth.

  [everyoe in almost perfect unison] what the hell are you?

  [albert] oh, i almost forgot to introduse myself,..silly me,..{it bows}.. i am Albert cunningham albatross bassoon,..but you can call me al, or Albert.

  [the king]...well,...mr. albert,...like it or not, your this world's hope for survival,...you think you can beat the demon king?

  [al] i'll definently clean his clock, i'le putt-em in jail an throwaway thi key, i'll cook his-!

  [the king] JUST GO!

  [al] will do!

  {and so he did, freaking all the staff out}