Black Long Tongue Monster

  It is often said that enemies are bound to meet, and in this unpleasant place, you will inevitably encounter some unpleasant people.

  Fang Xian and a couple sitting at a table two meters away stared at each other for a long time.

  "Is it you?!" The man swallowed hard and asked timidly.

  "Yes, clever."

  "The new hairstyle is not bad..."

  The scene is frozen, and below begins to elaborate on the relationship between characters——

  The woman in front of the table next to him was Zhang Lili, his ex-girlfriend who had ruined his fantasy about women. The man opposite her was Li Chao, a university classmate of Fang Xian's, someone he knew fairly well. Fang Xian really didn't know that after breaking up with him, Zhang Lili had actually gotten together with this guy. Li Chao was shorter and fatter than Fang Xian, and Fang Xian couldn't help but think that people really do go for those who are inferior to themselves - how did Zhang Lili end up with someone like this? Had she also changed her attitude towards men?

  Li Chao saw the awkward scene and invited them over: "Come on, let's get a table together. It's been a long time since we've seen each other, let's have a good drink."

  Zhang Lili didn't say a word, as if she didn't know Fang Xian at all.

  This scene is just like the lyrics of Gotye's song - why do women always think of themselves as strangers after a breakup? Isn't it that when a deal falls through, the relationship remains?

  Fang Xian also felt a bit uneasy and excused himself: "No need, you're all almost done eating, I won't delay you."

  Li Chao was about to continue in a straightforward manner when Ling'er suddenly spoke up.

  "Brother Xiao, when traveling the world, one should make many good friends, let's go sit together!"

  Fang Xian said in a low voice: "Don't make trouble, that woman at the table is the terrifying woman I told you about."

  "Ah, this is what you've been up to..." Ling'er's big, watery eyes gazed at Zhang Lili with a sympathetic look, as if looking at a stray cat or dog.

  Li Chao was taken aback for a moment, then forced a smile and said: "Well, let's all sit down together..."

  Four people sat around the table, extremely awkward.

  Li Chao had no choice but to find another topic: "Fang Xian, your girlfriend..."

  Ling'er smiled and said: "He's not my boyfriend, he's my husband, I'm his wife, we're already married."

  Three people suddenly sweated profusely, petrified, and had a awkward scene...

  Fang Xian didn't know how to explain, saying they were just playing games? Don't be ridiculous, that would only hurt Zhao Ling'er's heart even more. He could only force a smile and say: "That's right, we're already married."

  "So sudden?!" Li Chao was shocked, then swallowed his envy and jealousy, pretending to be overjoyed. "Flash marriage! Not even having a wedding banquet, come on, let's have a drink!"

  On the other side, Zhang Lili lowered her head to play with her phone, pretending to be an ornament, but the grinding sound of her teeth revealed her current mood.

  Ling'er looked at her and felt another pang of sadness, tugging on Fang Xian's sleeve and whispering: "Xian-ge, don't be so cold to her."

  "I didn't ignore you, did I?" Fang Xian held a mouthful of beer, looking puzzled.

  Ling'er glared at Zhang Lili who was lowering her head to play with her phone and pouted: "I'm talking about that sister of yours whom you abandoned."

  "Plop..."

  "Plop..."

  Fang Xian and Li Chao almost simultaneously spat out two mouthfuls of beer.

  Ling Er's words can be described as... truly domineering. Fang Xian was shocked, but his face was lifted to the highest point.

  Imagine if Fang Xian came alone today, the situation would be ——

  A poor wretch drinks alone, his girlfriend has been snatched away and won't look back.

  The adulterer and adulteress blow the cow, go out turn left and jump into the well.

  But as soon as Ling'er said this, the situation changed——

  Ruthless in dismissing his wife, Li Chao picks up the bones of a hanged silk weaver.

  The tavern unexpectedly meets Le Youyou, and the cat cries out loud as it dies from drinking wine.

  Li Chao wanted to lose his temper on the spot, but looking at Zhao Ling'er's harmless appearance, he couldn't bear to be harsh. A loser like him had to show respect in front of a goddess of this level.

  Zhang Lili's face turned red for a moment, but she pretended not to hear and continued playing with her phone, the sound of grinding teeth growing louder.

  "Alas..." Zhao Ling'er let out a short sigh and said to Zhang Lili in a gentle tone, "Sister, as a wife, you should be good to your husband. If you keep provoking him like that, he won't be happy, and if he divorces you, don't blame him. I just think it's a pity that you're being so self-destructive now. Although your current husband is ugly and short, he's still your husband after all. In the future, treat him well and don't get divorced again."

  At night, the restaurant was not crowded, and Zhao Ling'er's voice was very piercing. Upon hearing this, even the old boss of the small shop felt a chill - This little girl is too ruthless, leaving no room for survival.

  Li Chao and Zhang Lili were stunned on the spot, in front of Zhao Ling'er's lightly drawn sarcastic aura, they were shocked and completely didn't know how to react or respond.

  On the one hand, I feel secretly pleased, but on the other hand, I'm also afraid that the person opposite me will get really angry and call the police, and we'll have to make a statement again.

  "Ling'er! Don't talk nonsense, eat quickly!" Fang Xian pretended to be angry and gave Zhao Ling'er a glance.

  Ling'er nodded foolishly: "Idle brother doesn't let me speak so I won't speak!"

  She then began to devour the spicy hot pot with a gust of wind, occasionally taking big sips of cold beer to alleviate the spiciness, and her eating was completely unlike her usual gentle demeanor.

  "My wife doesn't understand things, don't mind her." Fang Xian hurriedly poured wine for Li Chao.

  Li Chaoren stood up and said: "Fang Xian, let's go out and have a private talk."

  "Okay." Fang Xian thought to herself, is this going to lead to a fight? Unlikely, but she still responded with a sentence, "Ling'er, eat well and don't argue with your sister anymore."

  Ling nodded while sweeping away food.

  Two men came out of the small shop, and Li Chao asked with a straight face:

  "What do you mean?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "When did you and Zhang Lili become close? How come I didn't know?"

  "It's too early." Li Chao had a look of "come on and hit me" - you hit me, you hit me, if you have the guts to hit me.

  Insert a strong description of Li Chao's appearance: slightly short and fat, with a buzz cut.

  Fang Xian gazed at Li Chao and then patted his shoulder: "Brother, thanks for taking over. You'll be suffering from now on."

  "......" Li Chao fell silent for a moment, and these words actually reached the bottom of his heart. The previous rascal's aura was instantly melted away, "Ah... women..."

  "We've all been there, I understand." Fang Xian shook his head. "You have to spend 20 hours a week with her, and if you don't see each other, you need to talk on the phone for two hours every day. Apart from going to the movies, most of your time is spent shopping. Even so, you still have to put up with her nagging, she always has a reason to bother you."

  Li Chao was almost moved to tears by Fang Xian's words and nearly fell onto his shoulders: "Brother Xian... why didn't you tell me earlier?"

  "You didn't ask."

  “……”

  "Don't be sad, this is love, men all over the world are struggling."

  "You too?"

  "I'm struggling with other things."

  "Huh?"

  "Imperial Capital Household Registry."

  “……”

  Inside the small shop was another conversation.

  Forcefully inserting a paragraph describing Zhang Lili's appearance: looks okay, figure okay, long hair.

  Zhang Lili saw Fang Xian walking away, and then dared to speak: "When did you and he get to know each other?"

  "Hmm... let me think..." Zhang Ling'er muttered, chewing on a large bun, "A few hours ago, I suppose."

  "You don't understand him at all." Zhang Lili hummed softly, trying to regain some momentum, "How can a girl's family be so careless?"

  "We've paid our respects to heaven and earth, Second Brother is a good man, he can still row a boat!"

  “……”

  "It's just that this big brother is really nice, there are few men who are willing to marry a divorced woman, congratulations!"

  “……”

  The old shop owner shuddered again, feeling that this night was both magical and terrifying.

  In the end, nothing happened, Li Chao and Fang Xian tearfully bid farewell, only to regret that they had met too late. However, the old boss of the small shop gave Fang Xian a 30% discount, and it was easy to get sleepy at night working. If Zhao Ling'er's level of ruthless cornering appeared a few more times, it would be enough to make people's spirits shake.

  After having enough wine and food, Fang Xian originally wanted to find a small store selling clothes, so that he could get some decent clothes for Zhao Ling'er. However, Zhao Ling'er was really too eye-catching, and he felt that if they continued like this, he would eventually be killed by the envious and jealous eyes of others. So he gave up on this plan and quickly pulled Ling'er back to the hotel.

  Unfortunately, unfortunately, at the entrance of the hotel, on a small path not far away, I happened to meet two black people who came out to have fun.

  Fang Xian's first reaction was to avoid it, pulling Ling Er's hand and quickly walking away with her head down.

  The black man couldn't let him have his way, whistling and sticking out his tongue, making a "tsk-tsk" sound as he wildly charged over.

  Everyone knows that black people are black and night is also black. At night, black people will merge with the darkness.

  Everyone also knows that black people's tongues are tender and delicate.

  So when faced with a black person sticking out their tongue in the middle of the night, all you can see is the tongue.

  At this time, Zhao Ling'er's eyes were two wriggling big tongues.

  Ling'er suddenly pulled Fang Xian's arm: "Long-tongued monster! Be careful, Brother Xian."

  "You've got it wrong, this is..."

  Before he could finish speaking, Ling'er closed her eyes and began to chant a spell in a low voice.

  "Gathering storm, becoming the fangs of a fierce beast!"

  "It seems like some sort of Western fantasy spell..."

  Ling'er's hands formed a lotus mudra in front of her chest, she suddenly opened her eyes and let out a loud shout (a "he" sound), then thrust both hands forward.

  A cool breeze blew through in the dead of night, it was quite provocative...

  "Ling'er was shocked and took a step back, saying 'This is bad, this long-tongued monster is immune to my magic!'"

  "Fortunately, I'm immune..."

  The two blacks burst out laughing: "You're on, man!"

  "Hey man, how are you?"

  Two black men were taken aback for a moment——

  “Fine。”

  "NO, NO - Thank you, and you?"

  "What?" The black man was apparently shocked by the person's English.

  Ling'er exclaimed: "Xian Gege, you're too amazing! You can actually communicate with the Long Tongue Monster!"

  Actually, the black brothers are still very friendly, this is not their territory, they don't dare to take charge.

  The black man in front of him asked tentatively: "Do you know where I can find a girl?"

  Suddenly enlightened, I realized they were just looking for an excuse.

  “Taxi！Taxi!GO－SanLiTun!”

  “SanLiTun?”

  “YES,YES。”

  “Thank－you！”

  After a few sentences that neither side could understand, they chatted amicably for a while. Fang Xian smiled and saw off the two blacks who got into a taxi.

  What is "Sanlitun"?

  It's obviously a place name - Sanlitun. The area is close to the embassy district and has many bars, often frequented by foreigners. Therefore, those flower girls who want to devote themselves to the great diplomatic career will gather here, as long as you are a foreigner, even if you are a fifty-year-old bald poor devil, you can easily find romance here.

  (Knowledge! Knowledge! Geographic knowledge! Mushroom reveals to you a complete imperial capital, and when you're wandering around the imperial capital later, don't forget about me. The people of the imperial capital should consider my words as nonsense.)

  No surprise, it seems that black brother is still very polite.

  On the road, Ling'er came back and forth again, reciting all the spells once more.

  After practice, the wind curse can only raise a wisp of breeze; the fire curse has only a warm current; the thunder curse has an electric spark, similar to the kind produced when taking off a sweater; the earth curse has a few grains of sand.

  It can be said that this kind of spell is basically useless in reality, and it can't even crack an egg.

  But the recovery spell still has some use, Guanyin's spell and so on have a comfortable feeling on Fang Xian's body, don't know if it can revive the dead, try again later.

  "Idle brother, how did you communicate with those long-tongued monsters?"

  "They're not long-tongued monsters, they're black people."

  "Black person?"

  "They originally lived in Africa and then dispersed..."

  Africa?

  "Never mind, I'll buy you a book tomorrow. Let's go back now. Remember, most people in this world are very friendly, don't judge them by their appearance."

  The hotel lobby was quiet at midnight.

  It was late at night when a man brought in an ancient-costumed beauty into the hotel, this was really...

  The hotel security guard swallowed his anger, while the waiter secretly cursed the pervert.

  Back in the room, the sheets were already half dry, but it was still impossible to lie down. Fang Xian opened his computer and prepared to continue gaming, dragging Zhao Ling'er's hand to double-click on the "Pal.exe" icon.