*Milo, Level 1 ???*
Escape…
I grip the chair leg so hard my knuckles turn white...
Every fire escape, every window and even THIS was met with the same red panel. The System’s idea of a joke, I guess. But nobody’s laughing in here, least of all me…
At least a hundred people are trapped in this school, with probably the same realization that we are so fucking screwed… Our teacher still hasn’t returned and… I’m not sure she made it outside… Nobody believes she even made it ten steps from the class, not after we heard all that… screaming.
“Maybe we should try calling our parents again…” A girl in a pink sweater suggests. She’s been sitting all this time on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest.
“For the last time, Sarah, there’s no signal…!” Raymond snaps, tucking a strand of her violet hair behind her ear. “If it didn’t work the first 10 times, what makes the eleventh so special?” her voice was really raspy…
Two days ago, my biggest concern was failing chem class. Now the world’s a FUCKING video game, complete with Quests, Dungeons, Classes and Monsters. What the fuck kinda joke is that…?
“I bet the military’s working on this…” Whispered Jeremy from the back. “Th—they’ll scour this part of town as well and they’ll find us too! And then everything will go back to normal…”
I wish I had a fifth of his confidence… If we are having such a tough time with Tin Parade, then what’s to say they aren’t faring any better…? Oh shit, maybe military bases turned into Dungeons as well!!
“Milo…”
“Uh!” I got so lost in my head that I didn’t realize my girlfriend was hugging me like a stress toy… "
“I don’t… I don’t wanna die in here, baby… I’m not ready…” I see her eyes are red-rimmed and glistening. A small line of buggers escapes her nose as she tries to stifle another sob.
I try my best to comfort her. “Baby, c’mon, stop saying that, everything will be alright! As long as we stick together…” I run my fingers through her silky hair. “I don’t know how long we’ll be here, but we can’t lose hope—”
“FUCK this!”
A sudden movement catches my attention. Troy, the lankiest kid in our Class with acne scars and a perpetual sneer is edging toward the side of the door, with his backpack clutched against his chest.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I ask.
He freezes, then turns with a defiant glare. “I’m not gonna sit here anymore with a thumb up my ass.” He says. “My brother was hanging out with those freshman kids. I’m going to find him.
“And bring whatever’s out there back to us?!” Raymond says, but Troy is already bringing down the mountain of chairs and desks.
“Jesus, mind your own business, bitch; I can’t just—”
I slam my fist on a desk so hard I dent it. “ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!”
Instead of backing out, Troy kept pushing. “YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!”
“I’M NOT LETTING YOU!!”
“GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY!!”
“PUT THE BARRICADE BACK UP, FUCKER!!”
“MAKE ME, PUSSY!!”
But then everybody wisened up, and the argument spread like wildfire and other people started chiming in on us…
“—have to at least try—”
“—suicide mission—”
“—my little sister is in the west wing—”
“—seen what those things did to the janitor—
*BANG-BANG-BANG!!*
Everyone cuts off mid-sentence. Everybody freezes mid-movement. The sudden silence is absolute, broken only by Ray’s ragged breathing.
We stare at the door, united once more in our terror. Troy, who had been reaching for the handle, stumbles backwards as if burned. Ray’s hands find mine and squeeze it so hard it almost hurts.
*Bang Bang*
…
“Is it—” Hannah begins in a whisper.
“Shut up…” hisses Oscar.
I edge closer to the door, drawn by a terrible curiosity. The small rectangular window at eye level is our only glimpse into the hallway beyond. I strain to see through it, but the corridor lights are flickering and I can’t make anything out…
Someone behind me whimpers. Raymond’s nails dig into my palm. I should back away, rejoin the group, and find a better weapon than a chair’s leg. Instead, I find myself leaning closer and closer… I need to know what kind of monster had found us…
*bang-bang-bang-bang-bang* *wiggle-wiggle*
The room erupts again with voices that overlap in urgent whispers.
“Don’t open it!”
“It could be a trap.”
“Just get away from it, holy SHIT!”
“But what if it helps?”
The paralysis of our initial fear fractures into chaotic debate once more. As for me, i remain frozen, caught between curiosity and common sense.
“Milo?” Ray’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “What do we do?”
Twenty-two faces turn toward me. When did I become the leader? Why are they looking at me to make a choice that could doom us all?
…
I go towards the doors and press my face into them. Suddenly, there’s a face pressed up as well!
It’s… David.
Oh my God…
Of all people, it’s Lil D grinning at me through the glass like we’ve bumped into each other at the mall instead of a monster-infected school.
“It’s… David…” I announce, not sure if I feel more relieved or concerned.
A ripple of reactions crosses the room—gasps, murmurs, and one distinctly unimpressed griab from Raymond’s direction.
“…!” David’s lips are moving rapidly, but I can’t hear a word. He’s gesturing with his hands, pointing down the hall, then back at himself. His movements seem exaggerated and frantic and it looks urgent.
“What’s he saying?” Troy asks, hovering behind me.
“No idea.” I respond. “Can’t hear shit.”
David seems to realize the same thing. His expression shifts from excitement to frustration, then back to excitement. He leans closer and exhales heavily on the glass. As the condensation forms, he drags his fingers and writes—
“Nepo?” Says Raymond.
“Nah, he wants to get in.” I translate unnecessarily.
“Oh.” She peers through the window, her expression hardening when she sees David’s hopeful face. “Fuck him— let him fend for himself. He’s practically calling all the monsters on us.”
“What do you mean??” Asks Sarah in a trembling tone.
Raymond turns to address the whole room. “Listen. Whatever those things are out there, they’re hunting by sound. Meanwhile, this idiot—” she jabs a finger towards David. “—is probably running around making noise and drawing attention!”
"Love, what the FUCK?” I blubber. “If it were you out there, wouldn’t you want us to let you in?” She doesn’t answer.
“Fuck it, I’m opening it.” I announce, already moving for the lock. Some voices agree and some disagree, but to let him outside is just… messed up.
I open the door just enough for a person to slip in—
“EMINEM!”
I freeze in horror. After what feels like hours of whispering, David’s outburst is like a gunshot.
“Oops, was that too loud, y’all? My bad, my bad.” In the blink of an eye, he’s right beside me!
The class stares at him in collective shock and some just stare… down? Ray’s own gaze is murderous…
That’s what I notice what David’s carrying.
“Is that…” I can’t even finish the sentence.
“Whazzat?” He asks, until it dawns on him… “Oooh, you mean this little guy.” And he brings the Tin Marcher right in my face. “Yeeeah, lil’ man over here thought he could get top dawg’s ankles, but he knows better now, don’tcha?” He then brings it up to his face and the Robot’s eyes start to glow.
“Now, get outta here, ya’ silly billy!” He spins it around two times before throwing it down the hall, through an empty class and through their windows.
*CRASH*
…
“D’woaaaah…! Pleeeease, tell me you guys saw that…!”
He is so fucking carefree, just like it’s another tuesday… That display of strength and implications suggests that he’s been fighting. And—and somehow winning?
David notices our stunned expressions and he TOO gets puzzled!! “What’s wrong?”
“Wha-wha-wha-whad’s wrooong?” I stutter, “Did you just ask what’s wrong???” Has he completely lost his mind?? Or-or am I the one going crazy...?
David blinks at us like WE’RE the weird ones! “Ooooh! Did you want some XP as well? My bad, pookie. Should’ve called it before I YEETED the Happy Meal toy!”
…
“Whaaaaat?”
“Ewwww, what’s that smell?” Said someone from another class.
“Sorry, I think I shit my pants when I got knocked out.” I said. “Although, the dumpster may also have a hand in it.” Wish I could’ve elaborated more on my plights until I got here, but alas, greater objectives call out my name
“A-HA!!” Finally, after all my hard work of not dying and killing stuff, my hard-earned rewards were in my hand.
The EXTRA LONG 100’s Marlboro!!
“Hey, I’m sorry, but do y’ all mind if I light one up?” I ask my colleagues and friends, but once again, I am met with the silent treatment…
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
Until… “I’m sorry, but I really hate cigarette smoke. Can you… wait when we get outside?” Said a girl by the window.
“Aw, maaaan…” I make the womp-womper face and slide the cig back in. “Alright, I’ll be respectful. But lemme tell you, nicotine! Is the best stress reliever out there in the whoooolle wide world!”
“Hey, uhh… David, buddy?” Said a familiar voice from the crowd as he pulled in closer to me.
“Yes Mimi?”
He got super close to me and knelt down, with a worried expression. “A-are you alright?”
…
“No, M, I’m not,” I say and he looks even more devastated. “I’m extravaganza!” Then I give him the biggest smile I can muster and that worries him further, for some reason!
“Brother, by the look of it, the world as we once knew it is GONE! Smashed to SHIT!! Replaced by the world’s most REALISTIC game EVER!!”
Multiple shrieks, hiccups, sobs and other things resonate through my class. The truth is a really dogshitty thing, but it needs to be told by ICEBREAKERS such as myself!!
Even the next bit may sound unpleasant, but that’s what ICEBREAKERS do! They live in the SHIT of it, alllll day long!!
“We NEED to burn each and every flag, man!”
“WHHHAAT?!?” The truth does NOT sit well with pookie-bear. Understandable! That’s why THE ICEBREAKERRRR! is here!
“Think about it, M! It’s symbolic as fuck! The burnt ashes of the flag represent how fucking WELL-COOKED the world is right about now! But THEN, WE!!” I spread my arms out towards the entirety of my classroom. “WE'RE THE ASHES THAT SPREAD OUR WINGS AND FLY AWAAAAY!
Ooh~! We can also spread the ashes on our face and go FULL tribal on this BITCH!!”
Milo’s getting whiter, so I “Boop!” his nose and laugh. So many started talking, all at once! I can’t focus at all here!
UNTIL!
“So wait… which flags should we burn?” Asked someone NOT from my class. I think that’s… Sarah.
“…Each and every one of them? I just… I thought I said that…” Looks like the truth is having some more adverse reactions on different people…
“Even the pride flag?”
…
“Huh?’
“The pride flag?”
“Say that again?”
“Th—the flag with a rainbow on it…?”
“Howzahwhah?”
“The… the…”
“Why are you trynna entrap me like that?” I say as I cross my arms. “We were ALL having a nice moment and you fuckin’… what, wanna paint me as a homoerotic hater?
NAY!
My fruity brother and his wayward GIRLFRIEND can vouch for our passionate THRUPLE.” I say as I point at Milo, who looks really embarrassed for going public AND nuclear on this OMEGA-HATER!!
“But yeah, if the rainbow gives you, like, Herculean courage and whatnot, I guess it’ll stay intact and uncrispy. But fuuuuh!” I start grabbing my greasy hair.
“If we can’t burn ONE flag, others will also wanna make exceptions for Mozambique, Romania AND Agartha! But then what the FUCK would the point BE at that point!?”
“DAMNIT, random school-goer! You ruined a PRIME bonding moment!”
…
“We’re gonna die,” said Raymond, surprisingly NOT in her chirpy tone. “We’re gonna die it’s your fault.”
“Oh wow, you made it, too? That’s greaat. That’s greaaaat.” I roll my eyes. “Also, weren’t you gonna get me killed?”
That seemed to quiet things down a notch. “What?” Said the hellspawn.
“I heard you.”
“Look, I don’t know what you think you—”
“I! Heard. You…” I say as I went for the door.
Raymond opened her mouth to spew some more shite and I just “booped” her forehead like i’m closing a pop-up. “Inside voice, remember Ray-Ray?”
She blinks, betrayed by the boop. “Don’t call me—!”
“ALRIGHT, thanks, purple Smurfette,” I say. I can see the questions forming in their eyes and mouths. What have I seen? How did I get in? Did I know of any possible escape?
Well, it’s my duty AND pleasure to inform my colleagues who have been playing sardines!
But before I can get the juicy bits outta my mouth, Milo squares up next to me and gone was the wariness from earlier!
“Your shirt is ruined.” He mutters, fingering the blackened collar of my once-garnet button-up.
I glance down and finally notice all the damage. The fabric that covered my tummy and chest was replaced by a giant hole.
“‘Tis but a scratch.” I shrug and try to channel my inner Monty Python. I didn’t concentrate enough, as nobody laughed. Really tough room…!
“Okay! Quick vibe check. The world as we know it is a game. It’s not only this school that is under siege from the denizens of another world; it’s everywhere!”
A strangled noise escapes Hannah’s throat.
“This isn’t a game,” Troy snaps. “Mrs. Hernandez is probably dead.”
“Mrs. H?” I raise an eyebrow. “I think she locked herself in the bathroom and is crying her eyes out.”
A wave of sus-picious looks washes over me. “What? I played the decoy part really well and got MOST of the heat off her back, so she’s A-OK! She always looked like a glass cannon to me…” I murmur to myself…
If she was a teacher in her old life, then maybe that could’ve gotten her a Wizard Class? Oh shit, maybe even something that could influence physics!
“How many of those things are out there?” Ah, another face that I recognize, Safrah, Raymond’s ‘friend.’ Needless to say, I answer.
“Ooh, a lot. On the first floor, it was just a carpet of metal. There’s spawning way, way, way faster than I can kill them.”
Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that part, as Sarah started grabbing clumps of her hair and start making siren noises…
“SHHHHH!!” Everyone snaps at her, even Milo.
“WOAH, why are we bullying S? What did she do??”
“She’s gonna call in the Robots…!” Someone whisper-shouted.
“Does she have a remote or something?”
“By noise! She’s gonna grab their attention with the noise!” Rasped the purple skittle.
“But they don’t… have ears?” I say. “The Machers have this Skill that lets them Ping somebody, but other than that, I’d say there’s not much to fear about them!”
…
“Oh, wait, yeah, doy!” I slap my forehead. “They also have laser vision.”
El Silencio… these guys really love picking the 4th option…
Alright, let’s try to get this train back on the rails one more time.
“Guys, guys, GUYS!!” I say, unable to contain my excitement any longer. “You won’t believe what Classes the System offered me. I got Bard, Berserker and Necromanceeeeeer~~!” I dragged out the last word so dramatically and I also wiggled my fingers for the magical effect!
Raymond rolls her eyes so hard I’m surprised they don’t fall out of her head. Milo, in complete contrast, perks up. Nice!
“I guess you got Necromancer, bruv?” Says Milo.
“Correct AND incorrect, Emmy baby! I picked it but then some Tom-fuckery happened with my Class, and then, BLAAAAAM! It evolved and now I’m something called a Hoarder, which seems to be the wet dream of ANY summoner and future lords-of-war!! It’s sooo fucking cracked that I don’t even CARE that I didn’t Raise anything back up from the head.”
“Wait, but then how did you survive?” Said Mitch. Looks like he also made it, cool.
“Stats, baby! Stats and a good head on my shoulders. Specifically, theirs when it’s shooting lasers, hehe~!”
“...I got Warrior and Bard and—” Milo said, but my happiness just SPLASHED outta my TANK!!
“No way, me too!!” I exclaim, genuinely happy to see that our interests were SO cool to manifest a Class!
“The Berserker description was so fucking edgy, with all that ‘blah blah you’re a Hulk’ baloney, but the Bard had these AMAZING lines on how you’re good times in the flesh! Really moving stuff, more moving than hitting things with other things, in my book! Did you pick that, brother-man?”
Milo shakes his head. “I picked Psychic.”
“Oh.” That was NOT on my list. How the hell did he get that? “What Class did Psychic net you, M?”
…Milo delivers all of that perfectly, without a single pause or stumble. Like he’s reading that shit from an invisible teleprompter.
“D… did you actually memorize all your flavor text?” I ask, genuinely blown away and a lil’ concerned. “Or is that like… a command from the System, like Party or Status?” Milo’s always been the studious type, but this shit is next level…
Milo just shrugs. “Yeah, I memorized it. Seemed important, especially the last part…” He said, with some worry present in his throat.
Yeeeah, that last Con sounded REALLY miserable… Is that shit permanent or can he shake it off with a good night’s sleep? What kind of friend would I be if I couldn’t calm my friend’s heart, tho?
“Ahhh, don’t sweat it too much on the deets, Miles! My flavor text told me some shit on how I have mommy/daddy issues and that I’m super lonely or some shit!”
Aw man, I guess that didn’t help him much, since he’s just staring at me with a blank expression.
“Can you read me your Status?” I ask Em.
Jesus Christ, is he cracked… Level 1 with 23 Strength? Forget his Skills, which also give him more Attributes, I’m sure he could just squash a Marcher with his own hands!
Hold on, wait a second. I bring my fingers off and do some mental gymnastics.
…
“Hey, Emjay? The math ain’t mathing, brother.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is… did you train your Stats or something?
“No?”
“Find any loot that gives you some extra juice?”
“No.”
“Then… is Raymond some sort of buffer?”
“Nope.” “Babe, don’t tell him that.” “Why not?” “I don’t want him to spread precious information away!”
“HeyheyheyHEY, can we not, you two?” I snap. “Give it to me straight, did you get, like… eight Attribute points?”
Milo blinks: “At the start? Yeah, I did.”
“Bro, what the fuck.” I say in a hollow manner. “I only got six…”
“Oh damn… maybe it’s just from the Class variance?” Said Milo, sounding as invested as me.
"Hmmmm… could be…” I say, but then it hits me like a bucket of ice! “ORRRR! Or, or, or, or… Look at all your blurbs! Five big pros and then, what, only two cons? So x + 5 - 2 is 8…” I start rubbing my chin
“So new gamers start off with only 5 Attributes? Alright, alright, neat.”
“Yeah. Also, don’t call us gamers, brochacho; that shit’s real corny, even for my tastes.” A couple of people snort.
“What would you call us then, smartass?” Milo says, a little salty about getting a public roast.
“Literally anything else! Does it need a tag, though? Pretty sure me, you, our school and the rest of the world have a Class, so… not sure if you really need to put a label on it.”
Maaaan, now that I mention it, I realize that not every Class is equal… Some of us can get ‘adaptable demigods who scale with spectators’ with amazing Stat growth and some of us just get ‘Knight’ or ‘Rogue’.
Coooooool… I always wanted to live in a meritocracy…
I turn to Raymond, who’s been trying to do the same shit the Marchers were doing to me about 2 minutes ago.
I try to play nice, but then when I see her face with that amazing poker face. I take my eyes off her and ask for the closest person.
“Miiiitch, buddy~! What fell in your lap?”
~10 minutes later~
Okay, after some extensive research, we have 3 Scouts, 3 Tinkerers, 2 Medics, 4 Berserkers, 1 Bard, 1 Pyromancer and…
6 Unclassed.
6 people that are completely good and fucked.
I cannot, for the life of me, understand why they couldn’t find it in them to pick a Class. Was the floating blue box TOO much for these guys? Did they think it had AIDS or something? Holy fucking shit…
…
I run the list one more time and realize there’s one more person I haven’t checked out…
*Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh…*
She’s at the window with her Milo and it looks like they’re cuddling AND scoping the courtyard at the same time…
*SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!!!*
…
“Alright, Ramona Flowers, time to complete the census. What’d the magic gacha machine spit out for you?”
She looks at me as if I killed her whole family, then she looks at Robert, who just shrugs, then she looks back at me. I almost completely drop it, but then… “I also picked Necromancer.”
“Oh, you did, did… you?” I think I’m suffering a mini-stroke!! Why the SHIT did she get it, too?
“But then, just like you, it mutated.” Oh my God, JUST LIKE ME?!?! I try to play it off, but my brain fails that skill check miserably. “S-s-so you-you’re also—” Coolcoolcool, I manage to embarrass myself not once, but twice in front of M and hellspawn…
Luckily, she felt really bad for me, I think, and cut off my stammering. “It mutated into the Vampire Class.”
“…oh. Wait, whaaaaaaaaaat…?”
She blinks. “Vampire.”
“No, I—I heard the first time…” Is she messing with me? Last time I checked, vamps were things to kill, not impersonate.
“Are you serious?” I press and lean closer. “Like, with an actual blood-drinking, garlic-hating, sun-fearing vampire? Or are we talking more of an Energy Vampire that sucks life force or something?” She IS pretty good at talking people’s ears off... “What’s your flavor text say? Can you turn into a bat? Do you sparkle?”
“Ugh, none of your business.” She snaps.
"Oh, come oooon,” I groan. “We’re in a life-or-death situation over here! Information is key and teamwork makes the dreamwork!”
But then her white knight stepped up to me. “David, maybe cool it with the twenty questions?
“WHA—!” I clamp my mouth shut and crouch into a scream. “MMMmhh!!”
“—kay. Cool.” I unzip my face back to normal and keep my hands in my pocket. “Just one last question, scout’s honor: any hard boundaries that you can’t cross? Does the sun nuke you? If I toss you a garlic knot, do you puke or just have an allergic reaction?
Again, Raymond looks at Milo, then at me, then out the window like she could throw me through it with a look. “The sun stings me if I stay out too much in it. I’m also more vulnerable to Fire Attacks. Satisfied?”
“Ecstatic." She barely gave me anything to work with here… so help me God, if she dies and Milo blames it on me, then I will give myself an aneurysm!
So if me AND Waluigi over there both got rug-pulled by something better, then by now, I’m counting at least half the Earth’s population getting the sickest shit possible, all cuz they had a shitty life or a really colorful one…
AW MAAAN!!! If the Furries end up becoming the overlords of the apocalypse, i’mma just end it, straight up…!
Alright, I scan the room and take in ALL of the detail. The stench of misery and defeat is a little too intoxicating. These guys really need a win. They need hope! And by CHRIST, I shall deliver it!!
“Alright y’all, here’s a special message from yours truly!” I do a double flik-flak, just so I can get the attention of everybody present and land gracefully.
“I know the situation looks dicey, but trust me when I say this: these dice are loaded AND on our side! We all have something special that can either make or break our experience, our Classes. I know it sounds cliche as fuck, but we all have the POTENTIAL to do great things!”
“And what if we can’t?” Said someone from the back of the room.
I grin. “Then we rely on the ol’ reliable! By kicking ass and taking names. Look, I dunno about you, but ENOUGH is ENOUGH!!” I scream.
“I have HAD it with the mothafuckin’ CLANKERS in this mothafuckin’ SCHOOL! Everybody strap in!” I then pull my finger guns and point them at my classmates.
“‘Cuz when it’s time to party, we will party HARD!”
MIlo groans into his hands. “Dude, are you like, 40 or something?”
His comment doesn’t reach my ears, as I have ascended a different plane of existence… “You work all night, and when you work you just feel ALL RIGHT!!”
