***

  I could have had sex last night.

  I could have sex right now. Matilda is still here, right in my arms. Well not arms, I'm ramrod straight. But she's snuggled up next to me. I'm pretty sure if I woke her up she would still be down to clown.

  So why don't I?

  [If you don't mind if we interrupt your moment of introspection.]

  ‘You literally do it all the time.’

  [As horny as you are. Sex may not actually be what you are looking for.]

  ‘Then what am I looking for?’

  [Companionship, a girl friend. Love.]

  ‘...I’m never going to get laid am I.’

  [You will meet the right person eventually. Someone to value you, all of you. Without condition. Someone you can rely on.]

  ‘How do I know that Matilda isn't that person?’

  [Because while she has expressed interest in you, she has not done so in a way that would work for you.]

  ‘What way would work?’

  [We believe the key to lowering your defences would be to ask you on a date.]

  Huh, yeah. That probably would work. I'm a little disappointed that I'm so basic. ‘How are you so good at all this relationship stuff?’

  [There are eighty three human minds within the Gestalt. We have at some point experienced the full range of human relationships.]

  ‘Wait, holy shit. Are you gay girls too?’

  [Some of us, certainly.]

  Matilda shifts in her sleep, and I am once again reminded that my elbow is trapped in-between her rather ample chest.

  No, I haven't done a sneaky squeeze.

  Yes I have spent all night thinking about it.

  ***

  Morning finally arrived and I feel like a stretched out zombie. I did get another kiss on my cheek for my troubles.

  Matilda left the room with a cheeky little wave and I did my best to get my shit together.

  Lillian and I join Maria in the tower room where she had set up her rift.

  Open rifts like this are really weird, like someone had shattered the glass of reality. It wasn't the largest crack in the world, you would have to duck a little to get through. Apparently the rift only took us a little over a thousand miles, within the same realm as well.

  Maria and Lillian stepped through first. I of course followed. For the singular moment I stepped over the threshold I knew that I was being observed.

  ‘Was that normal Gestalt?’

  [Was what normal?]

  ‘Feeling like I was being observed when I crossed the rift.’

  [No. Please inform Maria of this feeling.]

  “Hey Maria.” I said, catching up to them on the dusty road we had crossed over too.

  “Yes hun?”

  “When I stepped through the rift I had a feeling of being observed. Gestalt told me to tell you about it.”

  Maria just froze for a moment. Which can’t be good. “...Well. That's not ideal.” She said finally. “Nothing we can really do about it. Tell me if it happens again.”

  “Okay, sure. But do you know what it was?”

  “Unfortunately no. We know there are things that exist between the realms. But that's about it unfortunately. Just keep an eye on it.”

  Well that’s not reassuring at all.

  We follow the dusty road up to a convent. A whole bunch of nuns walking around, doing all their nun business. We are asked to wait in a little garden area. I claim a little bench under a pretty tree with hanging leaves.

  Lillian was asked to make herself busy by Maria without any subtlety. Fuck am I in trouble?

  Maria sits down next to me. “So the handmaid huh?” She deadpanned at me.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  Fuck.

  “What! no! Nothing happened! Nothing happened at all!” I sputter.

  “I saw her leave your room this morning.”

  “I… Yes. But nothing happened. It… it wasn't what I wanted.”

  Maria's face changed a little, became less stern. “Lillian is a good girl.” Huh, that sounded way less strained than when she called Daisy a good girl. “But I did worry that her antics would have you doing something you were not quite ready for.”

  “No… I actually might have worked out what I am looking for.”

  “Oh? What's that?”

  “Something solid, stable. Like what you and Derek have.”

  Maria just smiled at this. “This is what most of us really want. Someone to call our own.” She changed the subject. “We haven't had much time to talk lately. How are you feeling about all of this?”

  “Honestly, I’m feeling a little guilty.”

  “Oh?”

  “It's been almost two weeks, I know my mum probably thinks I'm dead now. I imagine she is not having the best time. But I’m happier here. I fit in a way that I never did back home.” I stare out into the midmorning blue sky. “It isn't even just the magic, or the people. A few years back there was a global pandemic on my realm. The whole world ground to a halt. It was the first and only time the world made sense to me. When everything wasn't so busy. I feel like I can breathe here. In a way I never could back home. Does that make me a terrible daughter?”

  Maria just pulled me into a hug. “No darling. Of course not. I know that your mother would be very happy to see that you have found your place.”

  You will be pleased to know that I barely cried at all. My makeup wasn't waterproof and I didn't want to ruin it.

  One amount of hugging time later, a couple of the sisters approached us.

  The first nun was an older lady. The second was a girl about my age, pretty, but looked like she hadn't slept in a year. She had some serious bags under her eyes.

  “Good morning Lady Maria.” The older nun said. “This is sister Sophia. We have tried our best with her curse, but now we believe we need the expertise of your Academy.”

  “The Academy is happy to help all those in need.” Maria said.

  “Of course sister Sophia must maintain matters of the faith while away, and once she is in a stable enough position she is expected to return to the convent. To resume her duties. Lord Balin has taken a special interest in her.”

  Well that can’t be good.

  “The Academy will support sister Sophia with whatever mission she follows.” Maria responded diplomatically.

  The older sister looked happy at this. “That is good news. We are glad the Academy is being so accommodating. Would you all like lunch before you leave?”

  “Thank you for the offer. But we all have a busy schedule to maintain.” Maria said.

  ***

  Sister Sophia, looking half dead, struggled with her luggage as we headed back to the rift.

  “Can I help you with that?” I asked, pointing towards her heavy bag.

  A curt “No, thank you.” is the only response I got back.

  We didn’t stop at Lillian's family home. Maria sealed the rift and we all bundled back upon the spine rattling carriage to take us back to the chapel connection point.

  The journey back was strained. Both Lillian and I tried to engage Sophia in conversation, but the girl was withdrawn. Giving us only one word answers when she deemed to respond at all.

  It was late evening by the time we had crossed back over to Morgoth and got back to the overly spooky hotel. We all crash in the same room again. Maria and I in the double, Lillian and Sophia in the two singles.

  I was dead on my feet having not slept the night before. I was lights out as soon as my head hit the pillow. Gestalt and I did some light gun training in my dream, nothing too intense as they said my body and brain needed to properly recover from the missed nights sleep.

  I was half way through dealing with a bank shootout when the dream just ended. Not faded out, not brought to an end by Gestalt. Just cut to black.

  ‘Gestalt?’

  No response.

  ‘GESTALT?!’ I screamed as loud as I could in my mind.

  Nothing.

  You really got to think where your life is at, when the fact that my brain slug isn’t talking to me is the scary thing.

  Well fuck this. I force myself awake. I come to groggy as hell. It’s still dark, but there is an eerie blue light flickering in the room. This is ghost shit isn’t it. Honestly I didn’t think the spooky hotel had it in it.

  I try my best to shake Maria awake. No response. I can’t raise Gestalt either.

  I roll out of bed, pulling Chekhov to my hand. Peeking over the edge of the bed I first see Lillian asleep, same as Maria.

  Sophia on the other hand is wide awake and having an extremely bad time. She is pinned to her bed by the four arms of a translucent ghost with a blueish hue. Its face was all mouth. No nose, no eyes, just a massive gaping maw.

  It was sucking the mana out of her core.

  I square up with Chekhov and squeeze. The bullet just passed through the ghost harmlessly. The ghost didn’t pay me any attention at all. But Sophia did. Her wide terrified eyes lock onto me.

  I approached, gun raised for all the good it’s going to do. I tried to grab the ghost but my hand just passed right through. The ghost continued to ignore me.

  Well, fuck how am I meant to deal with this?

  Wait, it’s drinking from her mana core. I push my hand into its ghostly head, which feels like it should feel cold and goopy, but it doesn't feel like anything at all.

  If it's mana it wants, I spin my core, revving it like a motherfucker. You can feel the pressure change throughout the hotel.

  This got the ghosts attention. It turned it maw towards me. Too late motherfucker.

  I dump a hotels worth of mana into the fuckers head and it exploded violently.

  Sophia flumps down onto the bed, panting.

  The ghost tried to reform, so I grab the firmest bits of it, and just cycle mana through it. Making the fucker screech.

  It gets the message and leaves.

  I look down at the wide eye Sophia. “You okay?” I asked.

  She just grabbed hold of me and didn't let go. Pulled me down into her bed.

  She lets out two choked sobs and then she’s asleep. Completely dead to the world. She doesn’t let go of me though, her hand wrapped around me like I'm a life raft and she's lost at sea.

  Fuck, I guess I’m not sleeping tonight either.

  ***