***

  I shouldn't have let my guard down. Tuesday somehow still found a way to fuck me, even if it is call Truday now. It's probably about eleven fifty. I don't actually know because I'm dreaming, but this sort of shit wouldn't happen at five past midnight. Because that would be Sacriday, and me and Sacriday are tight.

  Gestalt and I are chilling in another James’ room dream. I'm breaking down the finer points of a Civilisation Four game that James and I are playing via hotseat.

  [There's someone in the cabin. Wake up.]

  My eyes shot open. It's dark in the cabin and I have yet to adjust to the low light. I listen for noise but it's hard to hear any footsteps over the clacking sound of the rail carriage traveling.

  Then I see it. I am frozen, I haven't given the game away yet. But there is a man, clad in dark clothing. Material covering his face. He has a cruel looking knife in his hand. He is close to me, blade ready.

  [Gun.]

  The man is nearly on me. I lift my hand, and pull the gun out of my domain, pushing it into his stomach.

  He froze.

  [Trigger.]

  I need to shoot him. My finger doesn't respond.

  [TRIGGER.]

  I can't do it. I can't kill a man. Does he have a family? What if he's being forced to do this? I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to hurt anyone!

  The man notices my hesitation and capitalizes, the knife swings down, arcing towards my neck.

  [Fuck]

  There is a painful spasm on my right side as all my muscles contract, my own body yanking me rightward. The knife missed its target, catching me in the shoulder instead. My index finger on my left hand contracts.

  The gun barks and a hole is blown through the man's stomach.

  The man stumbles back with a grunt. Fun thing about gut wounds, they don't kill someone instantly.

  He lurches forward, going for the knife again. This motherfucker is trying to finish the job.

  My hesitation is gone. I raise my weapon, aiming higher and squeeze.

  It's not a clean shot, but the bullet hits, spraying his neck meat across the cabin walls. He stumbles and falls on me. Gurgling. Even now he is still grabbing at the knife in my shoulder. I get my legs under him and try to kick him away.

  The cabin door opens, there are two more.

  I try to raise my gun, but a suitcase smacks the new person in the head. I guess Lillian is awake.

  The man on top of me has nearly lost all his strength, I can barely hear his choking gurgles.

  I fire off a couple of rounds at the open door. I can't aim properly because it's both dark and there is a heavy motherfucker still on top of me.

  Only one bullet left. I hold onto it, waiting for them to come through the cabin door.

  There is a light and a sound.

  The light is blinding, the sound was like the heaviest dubstep drop you have ever heard.

  The cabin door, the cabin walls, the train carriage walls, the train carriage ceiling and the two men in the corridor are all accelerating far away from us at great speed.

  The flying bits of train are splinters. The two men are paste.

  It's pretty cold sitting on a moving train, when half your carriage is missing.

  Maria is standing there, arm raised. The obvious cause of train carriage vivisection.

  Two steps and she's on me, pulling off the motherfucker that tried to kill me. She yanked down his mask to question him. But he's already dead.

  I killed him.

  I throw up.

  ***

  Lillian and I are sitting in the dining carriage. Our carriage was completely ruined and Lillian's luggage went bye bye with the bad guys. My shoulder is still feeling a little sensitive, even after Maria healed up the knife wound, to the point where it looked like nothing happened.

  I’m just sitting there staring at the weapon in my hands. My weapon. I had cleaned and reloaded the thing. Spent the last hour trying to put it back into my domain but I can't quite focus.

  I killed a man.

  I froze and I would be dead if Gestalt had not saved me.

  [You were incapacitated. We deemed it necessary to momentarily take control to protect the host.]

  ‘You did great Gestalt. Thank you, I would be dead without you.’

  [You finished the job.]

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  ‘Yeah.’

  [You killed someone.]

  ‘...’

  [If you had not. They would have killed you.]

  ‘...I know that.’

  I look down at my gun. My murder weapon.

  [It was not murder. It was self defense.]

  ‘Why don't I feel like that?’

  [You do.]

  ‘What do you mean?’

  [You are remarkably adaptable, Tangerine Stone. You adjusted to our presence in record time. You have integrated with Maria's home and the City of Doors in just over a week. You are correct that a man has died because of your actions.]

  ‘...’

  [But it is also correct that his behavior forced your actions.]

  ‘...’

  [Do you feel guilty?]

  ‘No.’

  [Does the fact that you don't feel guilty bother you?]

  ‘Yes.’

  [You don't feel guilty because it was the correct action to take and because you are remarkably adaptable. Not because you are a bad person.]

  I continue to stare at my gun. ‘I brought this along because I was worried something like this would happen. It didn't even take twenty four hours.’

  [Bringing the gun did not cause this to happen.]

  ‘I know… I know I didn't.’

  ‘...’

  ‘I’m gonna call it Chekhov. The gun I mean.’

  [Amusing. But we reiterate, bringing the gun did not cause this to happen. While all effects have a cause. Bringing the weapon was not the cause. The likely cause was your survival of the Infinite Archives.]

  ‘You think it was them?’

  [They came for you. They tried to kill rather than kidnap. They are the only organization you have come into contact with that might want you dead. We believe that the chances are likely.]

  ‘Fuck. This is going to happen again isn't it.’

  [It is likely.]

  ‘...’

  [But we believe you to be capable. We do not gamble. But if we did, we would bet on you.]

  ‘Thanks buddies.’

  The heart to heart with Gestalt cleared my head. I did feel surprisingly okay with the whole affair. Don't get me wrong, I didn't like it. I wouldn't want to do it again.

  With my mind clear I was finally able to store Chekhov safely in my Domain.

  Coming somewhat back to reality I notice Lillian gorging herself on bread and cheese. She was sitting just across the table from me.

  I raise my eyebrow slightly. “You seem… fine, considering what happened?”

  She swallowed. “Yeah, it's all in the game. Assassin's come, you kill them or they kill you. Just how it is.”

  “You have a lot of experience with assassins?”

  “Yeah, less so since I moved to the City. But back home it was all part and parcel.”

  “What type of home has assassinations as part and parcel?”

  Lillian just gives a bitter smirk. “I am Lillian Von Westseria. Third Princess of the Westra Royal family.”

  “You're a princess?”

  “Third princess.”

  “You?”

  “Nobody hates that fact more than me. Well, except for maybe my mother.” She stuffs her face with more bread.

  “I killed somebody.” I said.

  “That not a common thing where you are from?”

  “No, not at all… I’ve only been here a week.”

  “That is pretty quick. But you are a Rift walker now. It was going to happen eventually. When realms invade other realms it's the Rift Officers that come and slap everyone down.”

  “I'm not sure how I feel about that.”

  “There are other jobs a Rift Officer can do. But I don't know. You handled yourself well. Took out the dipshit on top of you and then covered the door. Where are you keeping that pistol by the way? I didn't see it on you.”

  “In my domain.”

  “You have a domain already? Damn, what kind of monster are you?”

  “I got lucky with that. Apparently my core cracked just right.”

  “I don't know, aberrant core, domain, smart enough to already keep a loaded weapon in there. I think you are made for this.”

  [Agreed.]

  I don't answer either of them. It's not that I don't believe them. I do. I killed a man and I’m okay. Not only that, I prepared for it. I knew this new world was dangerous and that didn't scare me. It still doesn’t.

  Back home I spent all those years aimless. Failing my way upwards. Antagonizing Erica Swells because I knew she would fuck me up and at least that was interesting.

  I miss my mum. I miss videogames. I miss James and I miss showers.

  But I like it here.

  With its terrifying spider women and insane magics and even the fact people are trying to kill me.

  I feel alive.

  I grin. “Yeah, maybe I am.”

  Lillian smiles and hands me a chunk of bread.

  ***

  The rest of the day isn't as dramatic. The train crosses over to Morgoth, which is a rather dark and desolate realm.

  The station we get off at has a certain Gothic charm to it. The ticket master looked like an extra from the Adams family.

  We check into a hotel that is clearly fucking haunted. Honestly, it was spooky to the point of being cliche.

  I absolutely destroyed all of the spiderweb ‘decorations’ I found in our room though. I can deal with regular old ghosts. But fuck dealing with spider ghosts.

  I share a bed with Lillian, which would normally set off my gay panic, but Maria is in-between the two of us. She wants us all in the same room from now on. Safety in numbers.

  I get to sleep much easier than I thought I would.

  ***

  I'm back in dreamland with Gestalt.

  ‘Okay. Let's go over it from the top. I want to see what I did right and what could have been done differently.’

  [Understood.]

  Gestalt starts the dream.

  ***