Vex and Amelie had been travelling for two weeks already. Leaving towns as soon as they recognized bounty posters of Vex, usually featuring a crude unflattering drawing that looked exactly like him.
"Endeavourous Vertex
WANTED ALIVE
100 gold"
"They didn't even get my name correct!"
Amelie, like a puppy nodded in agreement to her lord. She was illiterate. Through her journey she did not find it important enough to pause her quest for. However she learned a lot of survival skills by trial and error. Living outside and sleeping under the stars was an everyday occurrence for her. Even when she had money for a room, she'd rather sleep in the woods picking up herbs until the sun set. Falling asleep looking at the stars was a simple habit that relaxed her and filled her with drive for tomorrow's adventures.
The kingdom of Aldric was safe. All the dangerous beasts were hunted to extinction ages ago. And the kingdom was contained in the "eternal summer" area on the continent. At worst it got chilly or a massive storm appeared. The biggest danger in the woods were other people.
Vex was the complete opposite. He hated sleeping outside and tried to avoid it every chance he got. Bugs terrified him. He was constantly paranoid about ticks avoiding tall grass at all costs.
"Next time we're in the city we're buying a tent. I mean A FORTRESS"
The emperor laughed at his squire for her obliviousness. She ate bugs constantly, thinking it was a normal thing, talked to plants in the forest, but not in the towns explaining it by "different language", she'd even run away like a scared cat after anyone nearby sneezed- fearing the "spatted bad auras". She had her quirks but the real loser was Vex.
He couldn't even wash his own clothes. Amelie took up that job, as well as camp setup, firewood gathering, cooking, cleaning up and basically everything else. She even surprised Vex with a bar of soap she made with freshly picked herbs. He felt insulted at first but understood later, that Amelie would never insult her lord, and was just oblivious about the implication.
This routine made Vex sick. It reminded him of his past life. Looking for cool sticks in the forest to replace his broken katana and a casual "spirit readings" with Amelie was his only entertainment, always met with disappointment anyways.
"I am DONE. Next time we're in town I'm getting into a warm bed with the sexiest girl in that town. Hey nun, pack the bags, we're going on a quest."
Hope is the mother of all fools.
?????
Lira was a big, messy marketplace city that never really shut up. The orange brick roads glowed kind of warm in the late afternoon sun, stretched out everywhere. Stalls and carts were crammed along every street, with bright banners flapping around in the wind. Vendors yelled over each other, selling hot mystery meat on sticks, shiny cloth, noisy birds in cages, and piles of fruit that looked too ripe. The air smelled like grilled food, spices, sweat, and horse crap. Coins clinked, oil sizzled, and people argued about everything. Even when the sky started getting dark, the place still felt alive and loud, like it couldn't sit still.
“I knew the yellow brick road led to the Wizard of Oz, but orange bricks leading straight to India? That’s a plot twist even I didn’t see coming.”
Amelie tilted her head, huge blue eyes sparkling with genuine curiosity as she tugged Vex's sleeve.
"Lord Vex, who is this Wizard of Oz? Is he a star knight? Does he have a big shiny staff? The stars want to know!"
A slow, evil grin spread across Vex’s face.
Boredom was the enemy. Chaos was the cure.
“The Wizard of Oz is a super powerful old man who lives in a secret emerald city. He grants wishes, but only if you sit on his lap and call him “Daddy Oz” while he rubs your head for good luck.”
Amelie gasped, clapping both hands to her cheeks.
"A sacred ritual! I must be ready, my lord."
"Yeah, you never know when you'll encounter a giant emerald castle."
Vex’s face turned red. The build up of sexual frustration in Vex got worse. There was no way he'd settle for a flat girl. But still thought about it.
"Yeah... we can practice that ritual later..."
Vex stopped daydreaming and quickly turned his head and saw a building that was way too fancy looking to be calling itself a "brothel" with a tacky sign right over the entrance’s white marble pillars. The building looked out of place in these dirty orange brick streets. But this only gave Vex more hope of finding the sexiest girl in the city.
They entered the brothel. The inside looked even more lavish. White marble with golden pillars decorated the walls. Guards near every entrance. Even Amelie understood that they're out of place in this establishment. Vex as usual, didn't care. He still wore royal attire and it was even washed now! He came to the main desk, looked at the attendant and with a swift cocky motion punched the reception deck with the bottom of his fist.
"Drop the scroll sir. Show the emperor your finest specimens. I’m doing quality control today."
The old gentleman replied.
"Sir, you need to book 2 months in advance. The reservation service costs 50 gold. Please state your name and the lady you want to book and I'll start on the paperwork."
Trying not to laugh with all his might, Vex mustered.
"What can I get with 20 coppers ?"
Vex was rubbing his stinging ass.
"Those guards. They didn't need to throw me on the ground! They could've just escorted me. Escorted ? Escort hehehe"
Amelie looked at Vex with concern.
"My lord, the stars won't tell me what you need these girls for, but if I don't suffice, destiny guides us to a tavern. They have more affordable prices there."
Vex got up, sighed for not even getting a glimpse of a girl in the wealthy brothel and told his squire.
"Alright, oracle, guide the way."
?????
"News Flash" was a tavern known for its nosey regulars. Old ladies craving gossip, news reporters, journalists, info brokers and even law enforcement gather here. The owners didn't boast about the tavern's reputation, it just outgrew itself. It was a secret to everybody. If you needed any info, or just wanted to entertain yourself with the latest gossip, this was the place. Unassuming looking from the outside, packed and busy like an ant colony on the inside.
Vex and Amelie strolled in thinking this was just the spot where a few coins could buy a night with a pretty face and some fun. Instead of finding a sultry girl waiting in silk, Vex got stuck listening to a chatty housewife gossip while chugging cheap ale. Somewhere in the background, people haggled over scraps of information, while creepy whispers floated around about some killer stalking the streets.
"...just last night 2 dead men were found..."
"...a tattoo of a spider..."
"...knights started calling the butcher "The Widow Killer"."
Vex listened to these rumors with the mannerisms of a dog hearing something sudden. Ears propped up, head slightly tilted, not moving, focusing on the sound. He kindly looked at Amelie and with a sarcastic honorable voice loudly stated.
"We, the Heroes of Aldric, Amelie The Star Chosen Oracle and me, Emperor Vortex The Unyielding the Star Lord Emperor of Darkness, have to find the killer and save the people of Lira!"
Vex blurted it out loudly with a creepy looking fake kindness painted on his mug. When in reality he thought.
"If I catch a guy, they'll start calling me the hero... and some hot chick will definitely get with me."
Amelie with a surprising enthusiasm hurried him up, matching his speech energy..
"Lord, there is no time to waste, the spirits are whispering to me that we should head outside."
The duo ran outside. Amelie explained herself.
"My lord, I apologize, I couldn't stay one more second in that place. All the different auras made me nauseous."
"It's fine kid, the women there made me consider celibacy anyway. You said you have some herbs you want to sell ?"
"Yes my Lord, let's fund the operation!"
The narrow alley behind the homeopath guild smelled of stale herbs, rotting vegetables, and something faintly metallic — blood, maybe, or just the usual city stink. Vex and Amelie had slipped away from the main street to avoid the crowd, Vex still chuckling about the “Widow Killer” rumors, when they rounded a corner and froze. There, in broad daylight, stood a burly man in ragged leather, spider tattoo on his thick neck, looming over a cowering woman . He raised a rusty dagger, snarling something about “another one for the tally.” Amelie gasped, clutching her backpack’s handles. Vex’s grin vanished — then returned twice as wide.
“Well, shit. Looks like the Widow Killer’s a dude who just really hates widows and voluptuous one at that.”
Amelie tilted her head, eyes huge.
“My Lord, the stars say he’s very... stabby. Should we help her?”
Vex stepped forward and shuffled into his "fighting stance". With no martial arts skills it only made Vex feel better about himself providing no tactical advantage. Vex shouted.
"Ami, call the guards."
Amelie instantly nodded, dropped her backpack and ran away.
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"Surrender now Widow Killer or feel the wrath of the dark emperor..."
The burly guy twisted his neck. He saw Vex, his lanky figure, stick arms, shaking legs. And bursted out laughing. The bandit tugged on the girl's arm before releasing it. Smashing his victim into a wall. He took out another dagger and slowly started walking towards Vex.
"I was just having fun, you malnourished scarecrow. But now that you've ruined it I guess I'll just have to have my way with you... after I'm done with you I'll even leave my initials on your back.. if you're a good boy."
Being raped by a bald guy was not on Vex's to-do list. Running away was out of options, the bandit would easily catch Vex. He decided to bluff.
"I'll just have to use my secret weapon... Dark magic arts. Blinding meteorite shower!"
Vex took a good handful of dirt, sand and other small rubbish from his pocket and with precision launched it towards the burly guy. The widow killer did not even stop for a moment. It was nothing to him. This was unlike the moments in movies that Vex envisioned. The widow killer grabbed Vex by his throat and started to lift him up. In the same instance Amelie came back, backed with 4 royal guards covered in full plate armor, carrying silver tipped spears.
"We're just getting started boy... next time you won't be able to walk after I'm done with you."
The bandit ran away with a surprising nimble step. The guards rushed after him even if they had no chance of catching up in their heavy royal plate armor.
The woman got up. And limped towards Vex.
"Thank you! I don't know how to repay this kindness. That bastard... That bastard is after our whole group. We work in the "Busy Booty" inn. This creep threatened to carve his initials on us so asked the inn guards to throw him out, ever since that day he's been targeting me and my colleagues."
Vex thought to himself.
"I could settle on her as a prize, but what if one of her colleagues is actually the sexiest girl in Lira. An emperor like myself wouldn't settle for mediocrity"
Vex uncomfortably smiled.
"Amelie, you hungry ? Hey miss melons, how is the food at your inn ?"
?????
The Inn was humble but homey. Amelie was chewing on a drumstick. Fat dripping off her chubby cheeks. Vex was enjoying his ale with roasted potatoes as a snack. It was similar to french fries from his world. Vex took a potato wedge, pointed it at the owner of the inn and started proposing an idea.
"Listen, I know this killer has been bugging you and your business for a moment. Let's make a deal. You get me the sexiest girl in Lira, and me and this little nun take care of your little problem. It's not really even a job for a perfect guy like me."
The owner- a chubby middle aged man dripped in expensive attire, rubbed his chin. The "emperor's" ask wasn't a problem. The guy really did have the sexiest girl in Lira working as an escort at his inn. The problem was in trusting Vex and knowing how he's going to catch the killer.
"Soooo... mister Vex, how are you going to catch this killer ?"
"That's easy, we'll just use bait. Frederica told us the killer only targets your girls, so we use one as bait. We set up a trap and bam. He's done. And that's where I request another thing from you. The girl that will be used as bait. "
"I'm sorry I can't let that happen. My girls may be escorts but I love every single one of them like my daughter, I can't put them in any danger"
"Old man, you're putting them in danger by not catching the killer."
"I'll do it!"
A voice sounded from the top of the steps.
With each step the wooden stairs creaked under her slow, graceful steps, quiet as a cat hunting. She was a lethal beauty distilled: long gently wavy, charcoal-dark hair cascading down her back, crimson eyes glowing faintly on the dim staircase, half-lidded with a predatory amusement, lips curled in a devious smile, promising fun and danger, massive golden hoop earrings complementing her sharp pale face. She wore a tight long sleeved black dress that clung to every curve, low-cut teased her cleavage, revealing a mole that adorned her left inner breast, a high slit on one side showed off the graceful thighs that rippled slightly with every step she took. Her hips swayed with hypnotic rhythm, the movement deliberate, drawing every eye in the room.
The inn fell quiet as she descended, every man forgetting how to breathe. The owner quickly stopped Vex's daydream.
"This is Persika, she is new around here. I'm not happy to make her this "bait" but I know she's a capable gal, so if she says she can do it I have no objections."
Persika was the sexiest girl Vex had ever seen. In Pangea AND Earth. Vex was a little suspicious why the owner let Persika be the bait this easily but decided to not overthink it.
Persika came up to Vex and teased him a little.
"Hiii, my name is Persika, I'm new here... be my little hero and I'll give you my first..."
Vex usually didn't care how attractive the women he talked to were. He mostly saw them as objects. But Persika made him bite his tongue. He wasn't able to blur out his stupid pick-up lines, he was stunned. He got his composure for a fraction of a second and with determination said.
"Let's prepare! Persika, get in a widow costume, Amelie, go pick up a net, I'll scope out a spot. Let's meet back here at 9."
"The stars will bring a net worthy of your greatness, Lord!"
"Little hero, are you sure you don't want to help me change ?"
Every eye at the inn pierced Vex. Although he wanted to, he wasn't rushing to celebrate.
"Good things come to those who wait. hehehhehe"
Vex didn't look much, most of the preparation time was spent on giggling by himself thinking about his reward.
?????
The alley behind the "Busy Booty" was dark and stinky, full of old trash and wet bricks, the orange road bricks shined even in a dim street light. Persika stood there like bait, dressed up as a widow in a long black dress that looked sad but kind of sexy. The dress had a high collar and long sleeves, but the back was open low, showing her back. Black lace was on the edges, moving a little when she shifted. A thin veil hung from her dark blue hair, covering half her face but letting her crimson eyes shine through. The dress stuck to her big chest and hips, making her look like a not so sad widow who was begging for attention. She looked like she was waiting for someone to come close so she could hurt them. From the rooftop, Vex and Amelie watched, hiding behind a chimney with a big net ready to drop. Vex grinned, whispering to himself, while Amelie tinkered with her bracelets, looking confused. It was Amelie's way of praying to the stars and destiny itself.
Heavy footsteps echoed through the empty alley and out of the gloom stepped a bald, burly man, shoulders wide enough to block half the alley, thick arms riddled with scars. Dagger glinted in his fist, curved and wicked, catching the faint lantern light. Another dagger calmly sheathed waiting for its turn to shine. His head was shaved clean, a crude spider tattoo inked across his thick neck like it was trying to choke him in a futile way, emphasizing the spider's fragility. He stopped a few paces away, grinning with crooked teeth, sizing her up like meat.
"Well, well. If it isn't the famous seductress. Heard you like ‘em big and stupid. Lucky for you, I’m both. Unlucky for you, I'm starving and your heart is just the thing I'm craving for..."
Persika's heart didn't waver. With bold confidence she replied.
“You think you’re the hunter here?”
"Hahaha I like your fire, bitch, and I'll enjoy putting it out even more"
He quickly started steeping towards Persika. Amelie peeking from behind the chimney saw him coming.
"Lord Vex, now!"
Vex without aiming or even general looking threw the net. And it landed... on Persika.
The bald man looked up and burst out laughing.
"A trap ? And you idiots can't even set it up right. HAhahahah"
Persika- now caught up in the net helpless, actually started to get scared for her life. The bald man took out another dagger.
"I'm gonna savor this moment, wench. Where do you want my initials first ? On your cheek ? On your forehead ? Or maybe just on your tits?"
Vex hauled himself up to check out the commotion. Down below in the alley, he saw the mess he'd caused — Persika cornered by that big bald idiot with the daggers, looking like she was about to get jumped. He grabbed the chimney to steady himself and lean over for a better look. The bricks got loose and shifted . The whole chimney gave way with a creak, chunks tumbling down. Vex froze for a second, then a dumb grin spread across his face as a lightbulb popped on in his head already picturing the chaos about to happen.
"Ami, I've got an idea."
He taunted the bandit.
"Hey baldie! Wanna see some magic ? DARK SPIRIT ARTS, TACTICAL AIR STRIKE."
Vex and Amelie started chucking bricks at the bald man. He put up his wide arms for defense. Persika used this chance to swiftly kick him from the ground, causing him to fall down. After falling down, no longer defending, a few good hits was all it took for him to get knocked out.
"Amelie get the guards"
He didn't care about putting the killer behind bars. He just wanted Amelie gone to enjoy his prize.
They both got on the ground. Amelie swiftly ran away to get guards.
“You helped me tonight, little hero. I think you’ve earned a... private reward. Come upstairs — I promise it’ll be worth the risk.”
Vex did not believe this was happening. He wasted no time and told her he'll meet her up in her room. Vex gave himself 5 minutes to gather his thoughts and for her to change.
?????
Amelie brought back the guards to the body. Vex and Persika were gone.
"Little lady, just how did you manage to apprehend the Initial Carver. We've been looking for him for over two weeks! He always carves "B.G." into his victims."
"B.G. ? Bald ? Guy ?”
Amelie snapped back and confidently tried to correct the squad.
"Silly knights, that's the widow killer!"
The knights looked at each other with discomfort.
"Uhhh, sunshine, the widow killer is a woman."
Vex pushed the door open with his shoulder, already grinning like an idiot, shoulders still dusty with debris. He stepped inside, boots thumping on the creaky floorboards. The bed looked inviting- soft silk sheet, mattress and the pillows stuffed just enough to be in that perfect range. A warm candle lit up Persika's flowing hair and her curves. Twilight acted as the warm candle light’s blue counterpart.
It felt too good to be true, Vex was anxious. He started noticing other details in the room. A shelf full of small vials filled with a dark liquid, A knife on the table that looked too deadly to be a letter opener, better used for swift strikes. A barely visible blood stain on Persika's dress, only reassured by a faint iron smell. The final hint was a twilight beam highlighting Persika's previously covered wrist. There, laid a spider tattoo.
"Suddenly scared, little hero ? No need to be shy, I'll treat you well..."
The teasing only got Vex harder. He thought to himself.
"Screw the consequences, I'm taking my reward. Worst case scenario I'll just run away".
Vex got onto the bed and patted his crotch.
"I'mmmmmm readyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
This made Persika gag. The widow killer was known to bed her victims before killing them. Usually killing them in the morning and sometimes even slitting their throats during the climax. Persika chose Vex as her victim, but his actions made him so unattractive it was hard for her to get it on with him. She had never met such a repulsive guy but she never backed down on a target. Her killrate was 100% and she prided herself in that. With superhuman strength she could even strangle the strongest adventurers.
Hating every second of it Persika got on top of Vex, and started massaging his chest. He grabbed her hips. Suddenly he thought to himself, lifted his head and said out loud.
"Stop, you said I'll be your first, but how is that possible if you're a widow?"
This was only an attempt to tease Persika, since he knew that she's not feeling very horny. A lighthearted attempt at teasing turned deadly. In his imagination she blushed a deep red, trying to explain herself in embarrassment. Reality hit differently. Her crimson eyes lit up, glowing in the dark. She realized that Vex knows.
"Widow ? You bastard, you knew ? And you still decided to fuck me ? You limp dick idiot."
"Limp ? It's poking you is it not, woman?"
She had never felt this violated in her life. With an offended scream she jumped and grabbed the knife laying on the table. Just as she turned to face Vex, she was met with a thrown blanket catching her like a net, a second time this night. Vex had already planned for it. In his mind if it worked once today why not try using the same strategy again. While clutching it, she stepped on the corner of the blanket and fell over, further tangling herself. Vex used this chance bolt out of the little murder dungeon. He met up with Amelie outside. Where she was waiting for him with good news.
"My lord! The spirits awarded our deeds. The guards gave us 100 gold for the bounty!"
Vex, blue balled and disappointed, attempted a fake cheer. He gave Amelie a gentle headpat and thought about future adventures.
"You know what, let's buy a treasure map."
"The stars say it will bring us fortune!"
The duo informed the guards. Just to get more distance away from Persika. They gained a smaller informant’s premium. Not as much as a bounty but still good money.
Persika was never seen again in "Busy Booty" Inn and later in the whole Lira. Her desires of hunting men twisted. At that moment she was dead set on getting “the one who got away”.

