Alexander and Bru-haha walked through the supermarket as Alexander explained to Bru-haha how the local economy worked and coincidentally checked off his shopping list. Bru was absolutely enthralled by all of the options when it came to food and clothing. Congo had coordinated pre-pay cards for the orcs, and they had several weeks of pay now available, so Bru was keeping notes on what he and his fellow orcs could pool their money on. Alexander made sure to steer him quickly past the video game section but let him browse the exercise and bicycle section, explaining the general ideas behind each piece of workout equipment and different sports items.

  A team sport might be another way to get their natural aggression out.

  “What do you say I buy a pair of these ‘boxing gloves’?" Bru-haha asked. "This will allow us to hit at full strength without risk of major injury.”

  “I’m still not sold on the idea of sanctioned fights on property. Congo has already had to increase their insurance costs substantially. Fortunately, sales are way up as the idea of an orc sending them their purchase has the populace in a buying frenzy.”

  “You could tell the higher-ups it’s culturally insensitive to disallow the orcs to fight for honor.”

  “That is the best angle to take, I agree… Put four pairs in the basket and I will use my miscellaneous orc budget to fund the experiment.”

  Bru-haha did a victory pose of sorts that Ridley had likely taught him before he grabbed four pairs off the shelf.

  “Now what about the Darth Vader mask I saw in this wondrous ‘toy’ section?”

  Checking out was interesting as Bru-haha just had to stand in line and let people gawk at him. To Alexander’s amazement, Bru had mastered his smile and actually had an approachable atmosphere around him. Several bold shoppers came up and greeted him. Not a single one recoiled. Bru talked naturally to one suspicious old lady, whom he assured that he wanted to be a productive employee at Congo. Yes, he was paying taxes and would be honored if America would one day grant him full citizenship.

  While watching the interaction, Alexander noted that Bru-haha’s hair was combed and tied back in a tail, he smelled nice, and even his nails were trimmed and polished. A tie in a perfect half-Windsor knot sat around his neck.

  As people started pulling out cameras and requesting pictures, Alexander quickly volunteered to take them so he wouldn’t be included by accident. When the cashier rang up their groceries, Bru-haha beat Alexander in pointing out a buy-one-get-one-free deal that hadn’t been included in the total.

  Fascinating. Am I an amazing mentor or is Bru-haha exceptionally capable?

  For Alexander, the cherry on top of the outing was when Bru-haha offered to help the same old lady he had talked to put her heavy groceries in her car. No less than three cell phones were out recording the interaction. Congo’s PR team was about to be on cloud nine.

  After dropping off Bru-haha at the Congo residential section, Alexander headed home to work on his side projects. As he moved into his apartment, he consciously ignored his fish. He still cared for the little jerks, but his joy in them had dwindled. Putting away his refrigerated items had the effect of summoning Flick, who peered out of the shadow of his overhead cabinets. He perched and waited for Alexander’s attention to wane, rewarding Flick with an opportunity to swoop down and snag a meaty reward.

  The Demi-Dragon was disappointed when Alexander finished putting his items away without incident. Then Alexander pulled out a meatball from the deli drawer and tossed it into the air. Flick lunged out of the shadow and caught the meatball, coasting with his wings into the living room to consume the snack.

  Content with the number of x marks on his chore list, Alexander walked into his room and up his immaculately carved wooden stairs to the breakfast room, which Ben referred to as the Wizard Tower. Casting his eyes in a circle, he took in the lovely afternoon view of Mekland, Oklahoma. The fall colors were in their peak season.

  Flick climbed into a cushioned nest perch that Alexander had set up next to his work desk. The Demi-Dragon and he had grown closer steadily since they had adopted a regular routine.

  ^

  Name: Flick

  Species: Umberbolt Demi-Dragon

  Unique

  Bond: 43%

  Stats: HP: 16/16

  MP: 28/28

  Strength: 4

  Endurance: 5

  Dexterity: 17

  Intelligence: 7

  Wisdom: 14

  Charisma: 10

  Luck: 13

  You must increase your bond to see more stats.

  Alexander had come to appreciate Flick’s company as his fish had turned out to be total turds. The fact that Flick had more cat-like attributes helped, as he had never been a reptile person. He went to his beautifully upgraded bookshelf and pulled a box labeled “translation materials” off a shelf. Inside the box was a case of earrings.

  After numerous tests with enchanting, Alexander had found the highest success rate with his Translate spell for enchanting was earrings. He had tried a standard ring, a shirt pin, a baseball cap, but the proximity to the ear seemed to have an effect. Whether this was from a universal law of magic or Alexander’s subconscious, he had no way to tell or test. He later discovered clip-on earrings worked just as well. Much to the annoyance of the janitor that cleaned the orc barracks, who had to get his ear pierced to communicate.

  He placed one of the clip-on earrings on the pedestal and selected his enchanting menu. The pedestal offered more information and higher chances for success than his previous skills alone.

  ^

  You are attempting to enchant an item.

  Base: Ralph Lauren clip-on earring

  Spell: Translate

  Effect: You are able to comprehend and speak nearly any language for 1 hour.

  Would you like to continue?

  “Yes,” Alexander responded.

  Mana started to pour out of Alexander into the earring. He meditated on his understanding of the spell and held the image of his intent firmly in his mind. He could tell almost instantly it was going to be a success thanks to the numerous items he had made. After a large chunk of his mana was spent, he looked up to see his result.

  ^ Ralph Lauren clip-on earring has successfully been enchanted. You have created Earring of Translation Warning: This is a single-use item. An earring enchanted with a single-use spell Translate. ^

  If that were all there was to it, Alexander felt he still could make a decent income, but he was able to go a step further thanks to his pedestal. He backed out of his enchanting menu and selected Manage Assets. He scrolled through a reasonable number of items as he wasn’t a hoarder and found his newly enchanted earring and selected Upgrade.

  ^

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  Earring of Translation (single-use item)

  Craftsmanship: Average

  Durability: 5/5

  -Would you like to upgrade?

  -Would you like to destroy and convert to an arcane resource?

  Alexander had seen the potential in simply making cheap enchanted items and converting them to magical resources, but anything he had made so far had not proven to be a cost-effective mana-to-magic-resource return. Maybe if he wasn’t planning on using mana all day, then he could potentially make one or two minor resources, but what would he do in an emergency?

  His mana potion, it turned out, had a half-life of one day. So if it gave him 80 mana for a potion, he would only get 40 one day later, and 20 the next. The answer to making resources likely resided in leveling up. So for now he gave up on looking for ways to break the first law of thermodynamics.

  Alexander selected to upgrade the earring.

  ^

  Convert Earring of Translation (single-use item) to Superior Earring of Translation?

  Requires the following arcane resources: Unattributed - 3

  Alexander was simultaneously grateful and frustrated that it only required unattributed resources, as those were the most common, but at this rate he would never save up enough to upgrade his encyclopedia. He wondered if it was because he was simply upgrading from his own spell base rather than from scratch. Three resources still wasn’t cheap, and Alexander was struggling to put a price on them. He was far from a skilled merchant. He had made 14 Superior Earrings and 25 single-use ones. He wanted to bring the superior ones up to an even 25 as well before listing the items for sale. That was likely his obsessive-compulsive side talking.

  He placed the final product in a little jewelry case and labeled it before putting it in the shelf box labeled “Finished Goods.” Lined up neatly next to it were several more boxes labeled Brian, Darrin, Funk Master, Linda, Ridley, and finally Ben.

  For the next hour Alexander continued to manufacture his Translation Earrings until most of his mana was used. He had made a general rule for his safety to leave 25% of his mana available at all times.

  He decided to look more into his new options that were unlocked for him. First he pulled up Anatomize and placed one of his test enchant items on it: a baseball cap with a single-use Shield spell. The problem obviously with this enchantment was that it projected the shield up above the head and it was smaller than normal.

  When he went to anatomize the item, it presented him with a warning.

  ^

  You already know all properties of this item.

  Anatomize anyway?

  “No,” Alexander sighed in frustration.

  There might be a slight chance of it helping his comprehension of the Shield skill, but he doubted it would be enough to make any real progress. There would be a material cost as well.

  He wasn’t sure how to understand the principles of enchanting. Something was more rigid in enchanted items compared to other applications of spells through his will.

  Before he attempted his next test of the “Tower Defense” ability, he decided he should check on Emily. How he would go about that he couldn’t decide. If he walked over and knocked on the door, would he simply say, “Hey, just making sure you and your sister are properly clothed!”?

  Shaking his head at how obviously awkward that would be, he quickly decided a text message was best.

  Alexander: Good evening, Emily. How are you? Emily: I’m great! About to sit down for dinner. Are you hungry?

  This took Alexander aback. He looked at the clock and knew he needed to start prepping his own dinner. The dual benefit of not having to navigate where her sister Janelle was, plus not having to prep his own dinner, piqued his interest.

  Alexander: Thank you for the invitation. I was just about to start making dinner myself so I will selfishly accept your offer. Emily: Great! Come on over when you like.

  Alexander stood, his heart beating faster than normal for some reason. He ran his fingers through his hair, then smelled his armpits self-consciously.

  “I have time for a military shower.”

  Alexander had long timed his showers, so he knew that he could be in and out in three minutes. As he showered, he remembered how often he had been told he needed to be more casual and relaxed when it came to his neighbor—mostly by Ben and Ridley. Annoyed, he took their advice. Putting on something more casual, he decided his hoodie would look natural with the cooler weather. He fixed his hair with quick hairspray rather than taking the time to comb and mousse it, then walked next door, took a breath, and knocked.

  Janelle answered the door with a pleasant smile.

  “Hi! Can I help you?”

  “Good evening. Emily asked if I’d like to join you for dinner, and I accepted,” Alexander said with a smile.

  “How scandalous of her! Nice to meet you, I’m Janelle.”

  “Yes… it’s me, Alexander… your neighbor.”

  “Whaaaaaaaat.” Janelle exaggeratedly opened the door with a big mischievous smile before looking at Emily.

  Emily grimaced at her sister before coming around the corner to greet Alexander. She stopped in place when she saw him.

  “I am still invited, I presume?” Alexander asked before he entered the apartment.

  “YES! Yes, of course. Come in!” Emily said as she stepped forward and greeted Alexander.

  Alexander, for his part, was confused as to the flustered state of the women. As he took a seat across from Janelle, Emily ran to the kitchen to grab some salad tongs.

  “I do have to say I am loving this look. I didn’t realize you wore contacts,” Janelle smiled.

  With that, Alexander realized he had forgotten his glasses. Alexander wasn’t blind; since gaining his class he actually had to adjust his prescription as his eyesight was improving. His glasses were just comfortable and he was used to them. They were like a security blanket for his face.

  “Thank you. I just thought I would change things up a bit. Work has been busy so I’ve been encouraged to relax more often.”

  “Yes, work! Tell us how things are going with the orcs!” Janelle asked excitedly as Emily sat down.

  “Well, I took my assistant shopping today, and he really seemed to like it.”

  “Oh my gosh, is this your assistant?” Janelle asked, pulling out her cell phone. She pulled up a clip on social media that showed Bru-haha helping the old lady load her car. “This just hit trending.”

  Alexander assumed trending was basically newsworthy social media.

  “That’s the one. I was there finishing loading my car before I took him back to the barracks.”

  “Are there female orcs there too?” Emily asked.

  “There are—fewer than the males, but there are around 40 of them. The orcs grumble about how all the pretty ones were killed. I have trouble telling them apart though.”

  Emily and Janelle looked at each other askance.

  “Please don’t mention the killing part to anyone as we are trying to get everyone to forget the fact that they were trying to conquer Mekland,” Alexander added.

  “So I’ve been meaning to ask—that red-headed girl that works at Congo. Is she the same person that went viral for punching through the game machine?” Emily asked, causing Janelle to turn and look at Alexander with extreme curiosity.

  This was a crossroads for Alexander. Many people at work and assuredly the government at least suspected he was a wizard. Fortunately, the full ramifications of that title were yet to be played out. He had also let his family see Flick; he wasn’t entirely sure why, but he had felt he owed some measure of opening up to his brother, and by extension, his family. These neighbors had already put their trust in him in some ways. Emily had been freaked out, having a more natural reaction than most. So he made a decision.

  “Ridley is a promising new employee at Congo. She also is one of the ‘gifted’ that the internet is blowing up about.”

  “Holy crap, that is so cool!” Janelle exclaimed. “And you got to meet her?” She asked her sister.

  “It was an odd encounter, that I will say. She claimed Alexander gave her a ring and that they were ‘married in game.’ Alexander attempted to use code language saying that they played a specific game together and that he had quit.”

  When Emily finished her brief description of events, both women turned their eyes on Alexander.

  “Um, no comment?” Alexander said, defaulting to the occasional answer he provided to news crews that caught him unaware.

  The women continued to stare at him.

  “The food is getting cold?”

  “It’s a Chicken Caesar Salad. It’s supposed to be cold,” Janelle laughed.

  “Ok, we will stop bullying you for now,” Emily said. “Let’s eat and let the mystery man think of what story to spin us.” Emily smirked, looking at Alexander.

  “It was about time we changed targets anyway,” Janelle said with a devious smile. “Are you going to go out with my professor or not?”

  Emily smacked Janelle, annoyed by her constant involvement in her love life.

  “The professor who performs classical guitar?” Alexander asked.

  “Yes. He asked me out a few nights ago and I’m trying to say no softly so it’s not weird for Janelle,” Emily lamented.

  “You might not believe it, but Emily gets asked out a lot. She rarely dates though,” Janelle shook her head in mock disappointment as Emily glared at her.

  “No, I believe it. She is beautiful, intelligent, and pleasant to be around,” Alexander said matter-of-factly.

  Emily turned beet red at his compliment.

  “Oh? Then why don’t you… OW!” Janelle yelped as Emily grabbed the skin of her arm and twisted.

  Alexander chuckled to see how close the sisters were and dished himself a plate of salad.

  Emily made an excellent Caesar salad by Alexander’s account, and he had a nice time at dinner. He missed one or two references in Janelle’s jokes, but he caught on after brief explanations. After an hour, Janelle excused herself to do some homework, so Alexander offered to clean the dishes as thanks for dinner. As he was cleaning, Emily hovered nearby as they discussed her work as a speech-language pathologist.

  “I wonder if the translation earrings would help,” Alexander mused absentmindedly.

  “The what?” Emily asked.

  Alexander froze for a second but didn’t feel like it was too big of a secret to share.

  “The orcs at work do not know English, and we don’t know their native language. So one of the gifted has a skill to make translation items.”

  “So you are saying magic might be able to help put me out of a job? Gee, thanks,” she laughed.

  “These items are going to be prohibitively expensive. Imagine if part of therapy a child could put this on for an hour and have discussions. What if it exercised a part of the brain that lacked the synapses to put together regular speech patterns? It wouldn’t be a crutch or a cure, but an exercise of the mind.”

  “That sounds interesting! How much are you thinking these will wind up costing?”

  Alexander was tempted to give her one right there.

  “Give me some time. It is in fact magic and we need to do our due diligence on how this might impact everyday life for the public. I promise I will let you know as soon as we make some decisions.”

  Emily seemed excited by the idea of expanding her practice when Alexander finished up cleaning.

  As Emily saw him to the door, the mood changed.

  “I am sorry for being needy the other night with all my talk of needing to feel safe.”

  “There is no need to apologize. It’s nice to be needed,” Alexander smiled.

  “Really? It’s not popular for a girl to need a man these days.”

  “People need society and all sorts of relationships to make their lives work. Now people will need protection from the supernatural.”

  “And you are offering this protection because I asked?”

  Alexander thought for a moment.

  “I am one of the few people that could offer you that protection, and you have it. I promise.”

  Emily smiled, leaned into Alexander, and kissed him on the cheek.

  A bolt of electricity went through Alexander, causing his world to tilt. Then he blacked out.

  ^

  You have been afflicted with ??? condition