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Chapter 4 – Stray Thoughts

  The office.

  As Rowan sat in front of the work panel,

  data filled his field of view.

  He opened the task he had been working on.

  


  Progress: 30%

  Unstructured data filtering

  Unstructured.

  Not incorrect.

  Not problematic.

  Simply data

  that did not fit

  within predefined criteria.

  Work that involved

  sorting and organizing

  those elements.

  Rowan found himself thinking—

  Then…

  The videos, posts, and thoughts

  floating around the internet—

  were they also

  being organized

  under the label of unstructured?

  The thought didn’t go far.

  It was dismissed first

  as idle thinking.

  From the start,

  this wasn’t a job about meaning,

  but about arrangement.

  He didn’t hold onto the thought.

  And as if nothing had happened,

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  he continued working.

  After work.

  The apartment was filled

  with its usual sounds.

  Distant street noise.

  The faint hum of the refrigerator.

  The steady airflow from the vent.

  Sounds that were always there.

  But today,

  they felt like they arrived

  a beat late.

  Rowan stood still

  and listened.

  It wasn’t tinnitus.

  He wasn’t tired.

  He went into the kitchen

  and drank a glass of water.

  The cold liquid slid down his throat,

  but the refreshment

  followed a moment later.

  Something feels off today.

  That was how he tried

  to wrap it up.

  A method he had always used.

  But then—

  a faint vibration

  passed through his chest.

  Not pain.

  Not anxiety.

  Just a bodily response

  saying

  this conclusion isn’t right.

  “…What am I doing?”

  Rowan shook his head.

  After showering,

  he stood in front of the mirror.

  A familiar face.

  So familiar that

  the only strange thing was

  not knowing

  where this feeling came from.

  He lay down.

  Even with his eyes closed,

  his thoughts didn’t disappear.

  The same daily routine.

  The same work.

  He had long convinced himself

  that these thoughts were meaningless.

  That this was stability.

  That this was happiness.

  But today—

  those words felt hollow.

  In this society,

  anxiety is something to be managed.

  Anger is something to be released.

  Sadness is something to be treated.

  But this emptiness

  didn’t fall into any category.

  Without thinking,

  he turned on his phone.

  Auto-recommended videos.

  Trending clips.

  Stress relief — BEST.

  Scenes that would normally

  have drawn a response.

  Today,

  nothing stirred.

  …Why?

  Rowan turned off the screen

  and looked at his own reflection.

  His expression was the same as always.

  And yet,

  it felt like his emotions

  were sitting

  outside the frame.

  The world was trying

  to make him feel good,

  but he couldn’t quite reach it.

  For the first time,

  Rowan arrived at this question.

  Was this emotion uncomfortable

  because it was a problem—

  or did it look like a problem

  because it was uncomfortable?

  That night,

  Rowan didn’t fall into deep sleep.

  But he didn’t lose track

  of where his emotions were, either.

  begin to slip

  ever so slightly.

  is not confusion,

  but something closer

  to an error.

  we quietly observe

  whether this misalignment

  belongs only to Rowan—

  to surface

  in other corners

  of everyday life.

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