I finished swimming to the other side of the river of blood. It was water, but there were a lot of sharks.. were being the keyword. Climbing out, I unfurled my dress and dried it out a little before putting it back on.

  I would get a new one in peep town. Speaking of , I should..

  

  “AHHH!” I screamed and fired blindly. After a moment, I realized that it was a notification on my HUD. “What kind of sick bastard created this place?!” I cried out before closing the notification and looking for a way to disable them…

  There was none and I made a point when this was all over to find the creator, and kill them violently repeatedly.

  The village itself popped up suddenly as well, but compared to the sound it was nowhere near as jarring.

  First things first! I made my way to the clothing shop and got a new dress as well as a few combat outfits. Then I went to Sarah’s house. She panicked when she saw me and tried to run. I grabbed her anyway and dragged her with me.

  After a straight minute of her frankly weak struggles, I just knocked her out and tossed her over my shoulder before continuing on.

  Next up I walked to the Recliner and almost forgot about the minefield. I frowned as I considered how to get over… I didn’t have Alissa with Dragon taxi.. none of my abilities let me fast travel.

  I realized with dawning horror I was going to have to walk through the minefield. I took a single step… and appeared a moment later in the lego castle. “FUCK” I screamed and kicked the nearest lego wall, causing me to hurt my foot. I rolled on the floor for a moment holding my foot.

  Then I realized I had been holding Sarah… I sighed and began making my way back to peep town..

  

  I instantly closed the notification and kept walking. Making my way back to Sarah’s house right as she respawned. I grabbed her, knocked her out and walked back to the minefield. This time, I made it about six steps in before respawning in the lego castle.

  

  This time, I made a point to put Sarah in a bubble from my bubble rifle and pushed her across the minefield. Sadly, without another person I couldn’t do that myself… maybe I didn’t have to.

  I smirked and fired a dozen rounds. A dozen large bubbles appeared and I jumped on one.. then another.. and another.

  I fired again and again. Only stopped to push Sarah the rest of the way before we reached the other side.

  Except… Sarah’s bubble popped on the last bit and activated a land mine…

  

  “I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!” I screamed at the notification as I grabbed Sarah, knocked her out again, and this time made it successfully to the other side of the minefield.

  Jumping off the bubble, I pulled Sarah down and we made our way to the recliner. Alissa the Exotic Dragon Tamer actually showed up again.

  I sighed as I tossed Sarah against the recliner and pulled out my pistol. No way in hell I was doing this again.

  Thirty seconds later, Drake and Alissa were dead at my feet. I walked back over and grabbed Sarah before continuing into Tardriss itself. Now I just had to find daddy. It was time for him to give his only surviving daughter her inheritance…

  I checked my level.. I was level 18.. after killing myself twice I was only level 18. Fuck this place. The guards around the area immediately swarmed me. I shot the nearest one with a headshot of my pistol before tossing Sarah against a nearby wall.

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  I summoned my bubble rifle and I began to mow down my former comrades. Honestly? Kind of cathartic. “Who dares step in General Tardriss’s Domain!” Daddy spoke in a loud booming voice and I resummoned my pistol.

  He grew to three times his regular size and swung his massive hammer at me. I sidestepped it and fired at his head… nothing happened and a moment later I was paste against the nearby crates.

  I respawned and quickly checked my skills.

  

  “I.. what?! But.. I had just killed my miniboss self with it like 5 minutes ago!” I cried out loud.

  Apparently I spent too long and I felt a sharp pain. I respawned on a nearby hay bale. I felt rage bubble inside of me and summoned my bubble rifle. I instantly set it to bitter bugs and smiled viciously.

  “Oh daddy, I think its time you learned why they used to call me exotic.” I jumped into the air, dodging his hammer easily. They forced myself down to dodge the second one. Finally, I aimed and blasted an entire clip into him at point blank range.

  I ducked under his next swing and did multiple back flips, only to land on a barrel right as he hit it. I used the falling lid to kick off and latch on to him. As expected, he grabbed me and I smiled. The moment I went to throw myself, I unloaded another full clip directly in his face.

  The biters swarmed him and he dropped me. I changed to a lethal bubble and pointed directly under his chin before unloading another full clip. I was sure I had one.. then I saw something at the edge of my vision and my heart sank.

  I stared blankly at the massive health bar right before I felt an extremely sharp pain and respawned next to a nearby wall. I think I need to level up more…

  I turned and did something I was very ashamed of.. I tried to flee the battle. Except, I hit a blue barrier that appeared and I ran face first into it. I took a step back and read the floating words along it.. “Boss Battle In Progress.. oh Fuc…”

  I was turned to paste against the barrier and respawned back in the center of the arena. I began to dodge his attacks and burst him down whenever I could.

  After almost 15 minutes, I thought I might have finally had him down far enough. He has killed me over seventy times now.

  “Are you serious right now?!” I screamed as I dodged another hammer attack. I truly, with all my heart, hated this place. I hated everything about it. Why? Who? I would kill the creator of this game I swore to!

  “You truly are a monster Hero! As expected of course! But you will not defeat me, for I am General Tardriss!” Daddy said as he rushed me.

  I froze as an idea hit me.. as well as daddies hammer turning me to blood mist. Maybe…

  I respawned, then turned to daddy and spoke. “You joke of course, General! For I am the Hero! Do you think you could honestly win against me!? Lay down your weapon and I may spare you after I pleasure myself with your daughter!” It sounded ridiculous but…

  General Tardriss.. froze.. he seemed to genuinely consider what I said and I watched in shock as his health dropped like a rock!

  It stopped at 500 for some reason.. then I remembered what I said in Muosil and my heart sank further. “Now you see the futility General! You never really had a chance. Just be glad that your daughter might serve me the rest of her days as my lap dog. Now, fall to your knees that I might end this swiftly!”

  I swallowed almost praying he wouldn’t actually do it. A single tear went down my cheek as my daddy fell to his knees and dropped his hammer. The second greatest man I knew.. was beaten with words… I felt sick.

  I slowly walked up, summoned my bubble rifle, pointed it at my daddies head, and paused. I swallowed before speaking one last time. “Good… good job General.. your.. your daughter would be proud.” I sobbed out as I pulled the trigger.

  His lifeless body slumped to the ground and began to glow. I wiped my eyes and frowned. Walking up, I touched him and jumped back when a popup appeared.

  I stared in silence at the two objects on his body. A wedding ring and an axe.. the same axe that had decapitated my mother. I stared blankly at them for a long time before grabbing the ring and the axe.

  I put the axe on my back and sniffled before righting myself as the ring fell in the pocket of the military uniform I put on. I faced the peasant and spoke. “AS your new General, I ordered you to help me usurp the Queen and kidnap Princess Bloom. Kill the Queen, take the Princess. Is that understood, soldiers?”

  “Yes General!” They all cried out and began mobilizing. I pulled the ring back out of my pocket and smiled. Soon, it would be my turn.. My Hero.