“I take it you’re a fan of the pancakes,” I said cheerily. I had to admit they were five times tastier than I expected them to be, and I think they had been topped with real butter.
“It’s amazing! Aren’t you glad I chose this place?” she asked. Syrup dripped from her chin as she spoke. I began to smile, but soon the smile faded as her thoughts entered mine. For all I know, this could be the last meal I ever eat; Tyla was thinking. I hoped she meant that sarcastically. She at least wasn’t going to be hurt. She was going to have many more days to live through, I would see to that.
“I am glad you chose this place,” was all that I said. “Tasty, and not too expensive.”
“This has been quite the journey, huh?” Tyla asked, after swallowing her mouthful.
“You mean between here and the desert?”
“Yeah. It was so much longer than I expected it to be. I can’t believe you just found it just like that! That’s nothing short of a miracle!” A part of me wanted to be honest with her, just to see how she’d react to the truth either she would feel delight and pride upon discovering a new ability I had. Or she would struggle to trust me. But I didn’t tell her.
“Yeah, a miracle,” I said in agreement.
“We’ve had a lot of those, don’t you think? At least since getting kidnapped." She lowered her voice.
“I don’t see how being kidnapped is a miracle.”
“No, I mean…things could be a lot worse. We keep avoiding danger. We keep making it out of situations that seem hopeless. It’s really something!”
“I…I guess I see what you mean.”
“Maybe it’s destiny for us to make it out of this! So, I think things will go well today!”
“You really think so, huh?” She reached across the table and clasped my hand with her sticky, greasy one.
“I know so!” Her eyes shone as she spoke. Tiffany had been more and more quiet since we first arrived here. I needed to be brave for her, Tyla was thinking. I needed to be better. I should be the one looking out for her. I turned back to my plate of pancakes. At least Tyla didn’t seem too curious to know how I had found Ross. She seemed to understand that it was a long story that I just didn’t have time to explain. She hadn’t asked too many questions about it. That was something she had gotten better at, asking fewer questions. She still wondered to herself how I had found him and if I was hiding something from her. But she seemed happy not knowing. That was good. We finished up the last few bites of pancake and headed back out onto the road.
“Now remember, Tyla, you stay exactly where I tell you to. You aren’t going anywhere unless its away from there with everybody safe and sound. Do you understand me? You are not allowed any closer to that place.” Angry, fearful thoughts flooded Tyla’s mind before a wave of calm swept over her and she relaxed.
Tiffany knows what she’s doing. You should do what she says, Tyla thought to herself. Well, I’m not so sure that I knew what I was doing. But I did appreciate Tyla’s effort to put her trust in me. What mattered was that it kept her out of danger. I took a deep breath. I could do this. I had done this before.
“Are you alright? You’re white as snow, Tiffany,” Tyla said.
“I-I’m alright, I’m just…”
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“Terrified?”
“Yes. I know I have no reason to be afraid, but I am. I want to come here because I can do this. I have to do this." I needed to remember what I was fighting for. My friends, people who were just like me. I couldn’t afford to lose them, no, not after losing so much.
“I mean… you do kind of have a reason to be afraid. This is risky. If it’s any comfort, Ross was five times more afraid of Alexander than you were.”
“Alexander put him through a lot.”
“Alexander put you through a lot.” I shivered.
“Not as much as Ross.”
“How do you know?” Tyla asked. Oh great. Now look at what I had done. I had raised more questions.
“Just trust me, Tyla.” I hated these words. I just kept asking her over and over again to trust me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her clench her fist. But she stayed quiet. I needed to be kinder to her. She was trying her best. My eyes scanned the busy streets around us, looking for something pleasant to talk about. Something other than Alexander, homesickness, or toxic fumes. I decided to turn to the restaurants and stores.
“If you could buy anything from any of these places, what would you get?” I asked.
“More food. I don’t care what kind, I just need more food,” said Tyla happily.
“But you just ate!”
“I don’t care, more food!”
“Anything else? If you had all the money and time in the world?”
“Hm… let me think.” Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a pale pink off the shoulder dress with a sort of lacy pattern.
“How about that?”
“That’s the sort of thing I would wear once, really love, then completely forget about.”
“Really? I think you’d look adorable in it,” I said. Tyla laughed. “You don’t think so?”
“I just don’t think that word suits me.” I thought it suited her perfectly. But I didn’t say that.
“If you say so. Maybe I’ll take it then.”
“I don’t think it suits you either. I want more pancakes.”
“If that’s what you want then very well. But I’m afraid we don’t have the money for more.”
“I know, I know,” she said, raising her voice. “Crap! It is loud here!” she exclaimed. I nodded in agreement. I had forgotten what a spiraling tornado of sounds this place was. To make things worse, it seemed to have become even louder in the years I had been away. Or maybe not, maybe that was just how it seemed. Everything before meeting Tyla and moving in with her family was simply a faint dark fog in the back of my mind. And I liked to avoid venturing back into the back of my mind, if possible. It rarely proved helpful. Besides, there were many things I had been eagerly waiting to forget stored back there. I was a master at the art of forgetting things. But it was best to never give in and let yourself think back. Not once. That would send memories flooding back with a force that was truly jolting. A car horn shattered the silence and pulled me out of my mind. Dang it! I needed to stay more focused. I drove onward.
“That was two seconds,” Tyla muttered under her breath, her voice dripping with bitterness.
“It’s good that they did that. I was holding up traffic. It’s nothing personal, you know?" I tried to soothe her.
“I know, I just hate that sound!
“I know." A sigh escaped me. “I do too. It’s just because we aren’t used to it.” I already missed the still calm desert. That short time I had spent there had proven to be the most peaceful time so far in my life. I wanted to go back to that peace, to the quiet and calm. To the clear, crisp air that wasn’t always attacking me with a hundred totally different smells and sounds. But I couldn’t, and I needed to stop daydreaming and pay more attention to traffic. My heart sank in my chest as we left the main road and headed up towards the tall, dark slopes that loomed up above. I could do this; I needed to do this. There were people there, people whom I cared about. People who needed me. People who were counting on me. I couldn’t let them down. I tried to swallow my fear. I thought back to my escape. I had climbed that fence, wires cutting into my skin, but I felt nothing, bullets hitting me again and again. But they couldn’t stop me.I had relished every little bit of that feeling. Now was my chance to feel it again. That sense of triumph, the knowledge that I couldn’t be brought down…that I had more power than my enemies could ever even dream of having. I took a deep breath. Yes, yes, that was it. I felt Tyla’s hand on my shoulder and I turned to her.
“You okay?” There was so much concern in her eyes, concern for me. I smiled.
“I’m okay."
“We’re going to make it through this, you know. We have to make it through this.” I laughed. I don’t know why I laughed. But I did. Tyla let out a soft laugh too.
“We’ll be okay,” we both chanted together. We always have been. We couldn’t fail now. Why should now be any different from what had come before?
