The train rocked gently on the tracks and nearly lulled me into a catnap. It was perfectly warm, but not hot. I started to feel like Mitzi the cat back in the real world on the rare occasions that the wind blew just right and pushed the coal smog away for an afternoon. She would lie in a sliver of sun cast on the floor and fall fast asleep.

  “Next stop,” boomed the conductor. “Shrewsbury Mines!”

  I jumped several feet into the air in alarm and Bertie Badge looked at me apologetically. I was the only one on the train, so his projection was totally unnecessary.

  “Begging your pardon, Miss,” he said. “I didn’t see you had slipped off.”

  “No worries,” I replied. “The only way to get over jet lag is to push through the first day.”

  The badger cocked his head sideways and looked at me quizzically. I smiled to myself, realizing Bertie had no idea what a jet was, let alone jet lag. Kawaii Farm Life had bi-planes but hadn’t quite evolved to the jet engine yet.

  “Could I make it up to you with a cup of hot cocoa?” the badger asked.

  I started to say “no” in an effort to keep my figure and then I remember that I was in a video game and on top of that fact, I was pleasingly-plump. Hell yeah, I thought. I was going to have a cup of hot cocoa! I might take two!

  “That sounds amazing, Bertie. Do you happen to have any cookies to go with it?”

  “I think I’ve got some biscotti, my girl,” he replied, beaming. “I’ll make you a nice little plate. We don’t want you wasting away!”

  The badger ambled away and I chuckled to myself. Bertie hadn’t changed since the first alpha for Kawaii Farm Life. He was the same sweet, bumbling doofus he had always been. It was nice to know some things were never going to get lost in the code.

  I looked out the window while waiting for Bertie to return with snacks. We were passing Elmer’s Apple Orchard. There were no fruits ready to pick, but the trees had burst into a sea of lovely white and pink flowers. The smell made me look forward to fried apple pies in the fall. The in-game food was legendary in KFL, and best of all you didn’t gain a single calorie from eating it—in game or in the real world.

  “Alright, then, Miss!” Bertie called, surprising me again.

  “Bertie!”

  “Begging your pardon, Miss,” he said with a slight bow. “I guess I don’t know the strength of my own voice.”

  “It’s okay, Bertie.” I soothed. “It’s a hazard of your occupation.”

  Bertie rubbed his chin in thought for a moment.

  “I reckon you’re right, Miss Pom-Pom,” he said. “I never thought of that before.”

  Exhausted by a moment of deep pondering, the badger changed the subject by lifting a tray of treats enthusiastically to my lap.

  “Now then, here’s a little snack to tide you over until lunch. We’ve got hot cocoa. Sorry it took a moment, I made it from chocolate, a dash of heavy cream and milk. I’m afraid it won’t help at all with your drowsiness.”

  “I’ll be fine, Bertie,” I said with a laugh.

  “Then we’ve got some biscotti, just baked last night by Maggie Magpie herself in Toadstool Bottom.” He motioned to the crispy, brown cookies and continued his speech. “And, a few little cucumber and dill sandwiches on pumpernickel. These lovelies are my favorites.”

  “Everything looks perfect,” I said.

  “Finally, we have some fresh strawberries from your grandma’s own garden,” he beamed proudly. “Fresh as can be and smothered in sweet cream from her old dairy cow, Cassie.”

  “You outdid yourself, Bertie,” I said.

  “We aim to please on Kawaii Island Rails,” he said. “Ope! I need to stop the train at Shrewsbury Mines! Begging your pardon.”

  The badger hustled off as I bit into an impossibly ripe strawberry. It was perfectly sweet and tart, tempered by a cream smoother than a newborn baby’s little behind. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the padded train seat, sighing indulgently. I forking loved Kawaii Farm Life.

  A hiss of steam pulled me from my culinary ecstasy. God, and I hadn’t even had any of my hot cocoa yet. I had a distinct memory of Bertie’s cocoa, and it was like nothing you had ever or would ever drink in your life. The drink was creamy, molten chocolate silk. The smell alone sent me into another state of semi-conscious trance.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

  The train pulled to a gentle stop. I knew nobody would get on. I would be able to find valuable fuel, minerals and even gemstones in the mines once I unlocked that portion of the game, but that wouldn’t for nearly an in-game month. I had to get my animal management and crops mastered before they introduced the next phase of game mechanics. Grandma would be showing me the ropes by this afternoon. As far as I knew I was the only one that ever went to the mines. Even the shaggy goat of an NPC that sold and upgraded my mining equipment never actually mined anything.

  But I was wrong. Bertie yelled his customary “all aboard” and a few second later I heard his booming voice greet a passenger.

  “Hullo, Daniel!” the Badger called.

  “Morning, Bertie,” a rough but friendly voice replied. “How’s the train?”

  “Oh, she’s as happy a pig in poop whenever she gets to pull passenger cars,” he replied. “She’ll be a bear when she has to push those troublesome trucks later, though.”

  I heard the passenger pat Bertie firmly on the back and then the door swung open and a tall, dusty man with shaggy blond hair stepped into the train. He started when he saw me and lowered his head awkwardly.”

  “Sorry, Ma’am,” he stammered. “I’m afraid I’m a bit dusty.”

  I most certainly did not respond. The game world was so immersive that you forgot you were actually in a game at times. Your biological processes were fooled and you could have a very, very real response. That phenomenon happened now. My jaw dropped and my heart skipped a full beat or two.

  The miner was gorgeous. His piercing blue eyes scanned me before he cast them back to the floor shyly. He was covered with dust and dirt from his morning dig, and he hadn’t shaved in a day or two. He was probably six foot tall and broad enough to be a college quarterback.

  “It’s, okay?” I stammered.

  He nodded and quickly tucked his mining helmet under his arm.

  “I nearly forgot,” Bertie said, bumbling into the cabin. “You all haven’t met yet. Pom-Pom, this is Daniel. Daniel, meet another human visitor, Pom-Pom.”

  “Danny is fine,” the miner said, smiling.

  Bertie looked back and forth between the two of us. Then, he shrugged and started to huff from the room.

  “I’ll leave you to it then,” He called over his shoulder. “Best sit down, lad. The train will be starting up in two shakes!”

  Daniel took his seat a few rows down from me, facing my direction.

  “Next stop!” Bertie boomed. “Toadstool Bottom!”

  And then there was total silence for several endless seconds. My mind raced. I was in a game, I reminded myself. I could do whatever I wanted. Why not just strike up a conversation? But Danny was the type of guy I would never be able to talk to in real life. If I was promised somebody like Danny, I just might do that damn repopulation program in the actual world!

  “You’re new in town,” the Miner blurted.

  He was clearly just as awkward as I was, and that gave me enough strength to collect myself and respond.

  “Yes, I just got here today,” I said, holding the tray to him. “Want a cookie?”

  “I couldn’t,” he said shyly.

  “I can’t eat all of this stuff,” I replied. “It’s a family style buffet over here.”

  Danny laughed and he had cute crinkles around his eyes and dimples you could serve a scoop of ice cream in. My heart swooned in a roller-coaster spin. It was another one of those biologically real moments in a total fantasy world.

  I stood up to let him look at the food tray and a biscotti dropped to the floor.

  “Oops,” I stammered. “Sorry.” I bent down to the ground to pick up my mess.

  “Wow,” Danny said. “Nice caboose.”

  I gasped while still picking up the cookie. That comment had been surprisingly forward. I mean, I guess my juicy caboose was pretty impressive now that I was pleasingly plump. The flattering comment filled me with confidence and I stood up and faced Danny.

  “Thanks,” I said, thinning out my waist and standing tall.

  Then I realized that the train was going around a bend, and Danny was looking out the window at something. He was looking at the actual caboose of the train. The literal caboose and not my juicy behind. I turned 50 shades of red and stumbled forward with the snacks.

  “Ope!” Bertie’s voice came from the front of the train. “Almost forgot. Next stop, Toadstool Bottom! Arriving now!”

  The train lurched to a sudden stop and I stumbled forward, dumping the tray of cucumber sandwiches, cookies, strawberries and hot chocolate all over Danny. The clatter on the floor was deafening as the trained hissed and completed its stop. I stumbled another step forward and ended up in Danny’s lap. It was still warm with scalding cocoa.

  “Well,” I said. “This is embarrassing.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Danny said, lifting me to my feet. As he stood, a cookies and strawberries fell from his dusty clothes.

  “We’re here…” Bertie began, busting into the room. “Oh, me.”

  The badger scanned the room in obvious distress. Luckily, he recovered quickly with a warm smile.

  “Don’t you worry, Miss,” he cried. “Things like this happen all the time. You all get off and I’ll get everything cleaned up good as new.”

  Danny walked to the door and looked back at me. He nodded goodbye and smiled warmly.

  “I’ll see you around?” he said, somewhere between a question and a statement.

  Surprised that he was still being nice after everything that had just gone down, I smiled back. This wave of newfound confidence couldn’t stop me from saying something idiotic, though.

  “Like a donut,” I replied.

  Danny looked confused, then he broke into a goofy sounding laugh.

  “Because donuts are round,” he laughed.

  He was cute, I thought, but there might not be a whole lot going on upstairs. But I was just happy he wasn’t upset. Danny nodded his head again, shaggy blond hair waving in the breeze, and strode off the train.

  The appearance of Danny was unheard of in Kawaii Farm Life. Usually, you got well into your farming before the human love interests started showing up. It really seemed like the developers had tucked way more surprises into the update than they had promised.

  I stepped out of the train, ready to meet my grandma at the station. She had always picked me up with her old horse, Daisy, in a weathered buggy. But Daisy the horse and my grandma were nowhere to be seen. I felt a tapping on my back and turned to find Bertie standing in the doorway to the train.

  “I meant to tell you sooner,” the badger said.

  “What is it, Bertie?”

  That’s the trouble,” he stuttered. “Your grandma is dead, dear.”

  His words hit me like a golf club to the back of the head. I grabbed my heart and fell to the platform.

  "One other thing, ma'am," She left you this.

  Bertie extended his paw and it held an envelope, sealed with a grandma's lipstick kiss.

  This wasn't how was supposed to start.