Ji-eun waited hours for Master Yan to return. Eventually, he did. Flanked by four guards, their robes half soaked in foul smelling blood. Master Yan, somehow, had not a drop on him, though several small tears cut across his robes.

  Last light had came and went as Ji-eun slowly trudged back towards her pavilion. It was getting colder by the minute. All she wanted was a hot bath and a weighted blanket. Her lead heavy legs made the walk feel twice as long. In the distance, past a grove of trees most Disciple’s used to meditate under, she could see the firelight of the pavilion. And stood just outside the moongate were five figures.

  Ji-eun was exasperated. She let out an ugly sigh and swore under her breath. Clutching at a horn, she shook her head and turned around. But where else was she going to go? Really, only one place came to mind. She didn’t know if there would still be a bed spare, but at least there was a shower, and a roof, and the chances of her getting kicked out were slim. She found herself meandering towards the Servants quarters before she had even made up her mind.

  There was no single path to memorise, but the Sect was fairly open plan. Ji-eun made her way in pretty much a straight line, wandering through gardens, groves, and orchids. She was the only person out tonight, as far as she could tell. As she went, occasionally she would stop and try her qi sense. But it was strange. Her qi pushed against a lot of other signatures, and yet they all felt muted somehow. The flow of worldly qi was also different. Stronger, yet also calmer. Slower. She would ask Master Yan about it the next time she saw him, hopefully tomorrow.

  The Servant’s quarters came into view, tucked behind a mound and surrounded by a garden. People probably weren’t meant to come from this angle, Ji-eun guessed. She took the time to rejoin the stone path and counted out each longhouse, coming to where she remembered Hu Lin to live. She paused at the door. Did she just… knock? Ask for Hu Lin? Actually, was this a breach of some protocol she wasn’t aware of? Would somebody get in trouble if—

  The door slid open as a woman in nightwear stepped out, nearly running head first into Ji-eun. She half jumped back as she raised her head and met Ji-eun’s eyes. The woman was a head taller than her. In a panic, she bowed.

  “How can I help you, Honoured Disciple!?”

  “None of that, please. I’m looking for Hu Lin, I guess? Is she around?”

  “Yes. Yes! I’ll go get her now!”

  Ji-eun just sighed as the servant ran inside. It felt a little bad calling her a servant. Promptly, Hu Lin arrived wearing a neutral ‘ready to serve’ customer service face. It fell away quickly as she took in Ji-eun.

  “Oh, Ji-eun! It’s just you. Thank gods, I was worried I got in trouble for something. I’m… not in trouble for something, am I?”

  “Not that I’m aware of. It wouldn’t be my responsibility to come and collect you anyway,” she said with a shrug.

  “Yeah, that makes sense,” Hu Lin said, scratching the back of her head. “Well; what can I do for you?”

  Ji-eun shuffled slightly.

  “Is there still a spare bed?”

  —

  The shower was great. Ji-eun liked the bath, but there was just something pleasant about running water that couldn’t be matched. She scrubbed furiously to get all the dirt and grime off, then just stood there under the shower head enjoying the warm water. She didn’t bother trying to keep it out of her hair. Ji-eun was sure she’d regret it tomorrow when she woke up with a head full of knots, but right now she couldn’t find the energy to care.

  Today had been tough. Even before the spirit beast attacked, actually using qi deliberately— even the small scrap Ji-eun had managed — was unbelievably tiring. It was a miracle she had managed it all day, though there was the suspicion that Master Yan had helped with more than just the first attempt. There was very little physical strain from herb collecting. She trained too hard to be worn out by that.

  But the spirit beast was something else entirely. Still, she could remember the feeling of its qi pushing against her. Trying to pin her down, nothing but prey before an expert killer. It wasn’t fun to be on the receiving end. Just running from it had left her spent.

  “Someday soon I’ll be a cultivator. No matter what,” she muttered, a promise to herself.

  For several minutes Ji-eun stood under the warm water, not thinking much of anything. The taps turned off with a slight creak. Idly, she wondered how taps worked, and how the Sect heated water without electricity. Qi magic, probably. One of Hu Lin’s spare robes had been loaned for the night. It fit a lot better than Ai Jing’s had.

  The lights were out as Ji-eun made her way towards the same bunk she had used last time, weeks ago. She crawled into bed and relaxed under the sheets, when she heard creaking come form the bunk next to her. Hu Lin sat on the edge of the bunk quietly for a moment.

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  “So… wanna talk about it?” Hu Lin said with a whisper.

  Ji-eun sat up.

  “About what?”

  “Why you turn up at my door, looking like a sad wet kitten, and all but beg to share a room for the night?”

  “I think we have very different ideas about what happened. You did this last time too.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just a romanticist,” Hu Lin said. Ji-eun could hear the self-satisfactory grin across her face.

  “Must be a Central thing.”

  “Maybe. But, are you going to talk about it?”

  With a heavy sigh, Ji-eun lay back down and stared at the bunk above.

  “The goons who kicked me out last time were back again tonight. I didn’t bother approaching. Figured the outcome would just be the same,” she said. “Actually, come to think of it, how did you find me last time this happened?”

  Hu Lin shifted slightly on the bed. She slid back and her shoulders slumped.

  “Ah. Actually, I was assigned to clean your pavilion that afternoon. Do I say it’s yours, or is there like a hierarchy thing…? Anyway. I got held up a bit and overhead the commotion outside. Once I finished up, I followed you as best I could and, well, found you out in the cold.”

  Ji-eun nodded to herself. It had been on her mind the past few weeks, but she tried to not let it bother her. She didn’t think she had trust issues, but her time in the Sect were teaching her otherwise. Or maybe it was teaching her not to trust, she thought.

  “I’ll be honest, I was… doubtful of your intentions when we first met. No, frankly, I still am,” Ji-eun did her best to meet Hu Lin’s eyes through the darkness, “nobody is kind in the Sect. At least, nobody is kind for free.”

  “If you expect something in return, I don’t think it’s really kindness,” Hu Lin said.

  “Hah. I guess not. You said you were held up that night? Was one of my Sisters’ giving you trouble?”

  Hu Lin stifled a giggle.

  “Sisters?”

  “It’s respectful,” Ji-eun said, surprising herself with how defeated she sounded, “We share a living space, we’re supposed to support each other, therefore to each other we are sisters. I learnt that lesson pretty quick.”

  “Some family they are. No, they weren’t giving me trouble. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your other’ Sister’, but Cai Shufen does like making things hard. She was taking forever in the third bedroom.”

  Ji-eun startled. As the youngest member of the pavilion, the third bedroom was hers. They were supposed to be private spaces. All three of them agreed to it when she first came to the Sect; Sister Mu even spoke! What was Sister — Cai Shufen doing breaking that agreement? Ji-eun had no respite out in the Sect. Now she was finding out she may never have had a place to herself at all.

  “Do you know what she was doing in there?” Ji-eun asked in as calm a tone she could muster.

  “Sorry, I’ve got no idea, but I guess it worked out in the end. I got to meet you after all!”

  Ji-eun calmed a little at Hu Lin’s words.

  “Maybe she was looking for something?” A voice from above chimed in. Ai Jing, leaning over the railing, whispered to the pair. “A diary or some other personal effect? Private quarters are spaces for private thoughts; though to what end I do not know. Whose room is it?”

  “Mine.”

  “Oh.”

  What would she be looking for? Ji-eun kept nothing personal in her room; she didn’t come to the Sworn Sword Sect with any belongings. And there was nothing valuable in her—

  The Sky Blue Pills were hidden in her room. Cai Shufen’s lackeys were guarding the door once again. Was she searching Ji-eun’s room again? But she was supposedly searching her room even before she got the pills, so what was she really looking for?

  And she didn’t even consider that she’d go without a Sky Blue pill, or her sour medicine. Though she was a lot less disappointed about the latter Hopefully, one day’s difference wouldn’t matter in the long run.

  “This Cai Shufen does not sound like a pleasant person,” Ai Jing said from the top bunk.

  “Yeah, she sucks to work with,” said Hu Lin.

  “She… is an ass,” Ji-eun added with a scowl.

  She wanted to stop thinking about it. All she could do tonight was lose sleep. Idly, she scratched at the gash that wound across her left horn.

  “I can’t imagine you knew what you were getting into when you came to the Sect, Ji-eun,” said Hu Lin.

  “I didn’t really have a choice,” Ji-eun sighed. “I was all but told by an Emperor’s Envoy that I would become a Disciple of the Sworn Sword Sect. I thought it was meant to be a reward for me. For ‘standing up to demons’ or whatever. But apparently it was the Sect’s reward for finding me, or maybe something else entirely? Master Yan hasn’t been very clear.”

  Through the dark, Ji-eun saw Hu Lin nod mock sagely. She wanted some of the woman’s endless cheer.

  “Have you ever thought about leaving?” Hu Lin began. “Wait, can you? If you coming here is the Sect’s reward, are you even allowed to go?” Worry carried on her voice.

  Honestly? Ji-eun didn’t know. She had never asked.

  “Leaving hasn’t ever crossed my mind. It’s a good point. I’m probably not allowed to leave, or at least, they’d make it harder for me to leave. At least until next month.”

  “What happens next month?” Ai Jing asked.

  “Eh, don’t worry about it. If you haven’t been told yet, then it either doesn’t concern the Servants or it’s a secret for a reason.”

  Hu Lin and Ai Jing shrugged.

  “Besides that, why do you stay? No offence, but I can’t see a reason for you to still be here,” said Hu Lin. “It’d be different if the other Disciples tolerated you, but even we know how little they want you around.”

  Ji-eun grimaced and sat up.

  “Really?”

  “I’m sorry to say, Ji-eun, but everybody does,” Ai Jing said.

  “You just being here has made our job easier. A lot of the Disciple’s, uh, anger management issues have been directed square at you this past year. We’ve had an easier time of it thanks to you.”

  “Uh. You’re welcome, I guess.”

  Ji-eun paused. It was true: leaving the Sect had never crossed her mind. But she had never thought about it. Memories flowed through her head like running water colours. The quiet distain of other Disciples. The not-so-whispered words. The ‘friendly’ challenges that left her beaten and bleeding. And before it all, a scene of red blood on white snow. Her own robes stained so deep they had to be burned. A band of scar that ran across her left horn. Three dead, torn open, left to the cold. Ji-eun sighed deeply.

  “I hate it, but I need the Sect. I need power.” Ji-eun thought back to Master Yan’s words earlier that day. “I want to decide for myself who I am. And what I am. I don’t want others to have power over me, so I need power over others. What better power than one to challenge the heavens themselves?”

  Hu Lin and Ai Jing were both silent for a long while. Ji-eun felt the shorter woman shuffling along the edge of her bed in thought. Ai Jing remained leaning over the railing. Ji-eun couldn’t see their expressions through the dark. Finally, Hu Lin spoke.

  “Most servants came to the Sect wanting to be a cultivator. Most of us were turned away at the gate, and told we might be offered a place after serving the Sect from the bottom. Some of us have been here for a lifetime. I hope things start looking up for you, Ji-eun. Your dream is the dream of many mortals. Maybe finally one of us will get to live it.”

  Peering through the darkness, Ji-eun couldn’t be sure. But it was hard to miss the sad smile that passed across Hu Lin’s face.