I spend most of the day resting in bed, though I do manage to do some of the homework that was due yesterday. That's definitely an improvement over how I've felt in the past. I could never do homework before.
There's still some time left until csses will be out, at which point I think my friends will be visiting.
In the meantime, I should call my parents and tell them what's going on. I talk to them almost every day, although usually in the evening when they are both home and the bakery is closed. I didn't call yesterday because I felt so sick.
Right now, my dad is probably out pying baseball, and my mom is probably working in the bakery, but it's usually dead around this time.
I get out my cell phone and call the bakery number. After a few rings, I hear my mother’s cheerful voice.
“Furukawa bakery. We currently have a special new bread that doesn't rise that we’re calling ‘cracker bread,’ it's delicious, ft, and dry, just how bread should be! What can I do for you today?”
“Hi mom.”
She responds so loudly I have to move the phone away from my ear, “NAGISA! How are you, dear? I don't have to ask why we didn't hear from you yesterday, because you sound like you don't feel well.”
She has always been around for my episodes. She's an expert when it comes to knowing I'm sick.
“You’re right. It started the day before yesterday. I slept all day yesterday.”
“Oh no. Do you need me to come take care of you?”
That's tempting. I do miss that…but it isn't a reasonable thing to expect.
“No. That's why you sent me here, right?”
Her tone gets serious, “Nagisa, we didn't send you to Yamaku so we didn't have to take care of you…”
“I-I know that. But the nurse has it covered here. And my friends are helping. I'm okay.”
“Does it feel any better than it used to?”
“A little. My temperature has gone down some, and I was able to do some homework.”
I can hear her smile, “Well, that's already a nice improvement.”
“Yeah. Is dad out with the neighborhood kids?”
My mom ughs, “I think he's repairing the neighbor's sink. He was going to py baseball after that, though. Do you want me to get him?”
“No, that's okay. I’ll call again this evening at the usual time.” I start to get a little choked up. “I miss you, mom.”
“We miss you too, dear. Every day. But you seem to be doing so well. Especially tely. Even on a day like today I can tell you’re happy.”
“I am happy. Even though I'm sick. I…like it here.”
“That's wonderful, dear. We'd like to come visit soon. We'll certainly come for your py.” She sighs, “Your dad also wants you to come home for his birthday, but I told him he was being unreasonable.”
I ugh, “I'd like to come home too some time. Maybe it will work out.”
“Okay, Nagisa. I should probably go mind the store. I love you.”
After I return her love we end the call, and for the first time since I've been here, I don't have overwhelming homesickness after talking to my parents.
…
I wake up to the sound of knocking on my door.
“C-come in.”
The door opens and Akane comes in wearing a surgical mask and holding a folder. She looks worried and it gets worse when she sees me in bed.
“You know…you should probably ask who it is before you invite me in. Or lock your door.”
“Well…I knew people were coming and I might fall asleep.”
She waves her hand, “Well, forget about that for now. How are you feeling?”
“N-not…good.”
“Yeah…you don't look good.”
“Gee, thanks.”
She ughs, “It sucks that you’re sick, but…I am…kind of relieved. You didn't come to css. And you didn't answer when I came by for our evening chat the st couple nights. I thought…” She nervously looks over in the direction of the open door and quietly says “...maybe you were mad at me after all. After what I did.”
I'm confused for a moment, but then my feverish mind catches up.
Oh! The st time we saw each other was the morning after we kissed.
“N-no. Just sick. I was asleep. I-I'm really sorry I made you feel that way.”
She ruffles my hair, “Silly Nagisa. You don't need to apologize for being sick.” She gestures toward the door, “Anyway, Daiki let me know you were sick, so we came to check on you.”
Only now do I notice that Daiki is waiting outside the door.
“Y-you can come in, too, Daiki.”
He ducks under the door frame and waves and smiles at me. He is about as wide as the space between my bed and the far wall. He looks like he's in a really tiny room, instead of a standard dorm room.
Akane sits in the desk chair to make more room for him.
Akane says, “Have you been to the nurse and tested for flu and strep?”
“I've been to the nurse. But I'm not that kind of sick. Although I wish someone would tell my body that.”
Akane looks confused and so does Daiki.
I expin my condition to the two of them and by the time I'm done, Akane looks embarrassed and takes her mask off.
“Sorry for wearing that. And asking those dumb questions. And…saying I was relieved a minute ago. I didn’t know this could be really serious. I knew you had a chronic illness of some kind…but not the details.”
“Silly Akane, you d-don’t have to apologize for not knowing something.”
She scoffs and then sticks her tongue out at me, “I guess we both apologize too much.” She brandishes the folder, “Well, I have the hand outs you've missed so far. And Daiki and I are going to keep you up to date with csses. We’ll alternate . He wanted to do it today.” She stands up and gives my hand a little squeeze. “I hope you feel better, Nagisa. I’ll drop by ter to check on you.”
“Th-thank you. You can just come in if I don't answer.”
She nods and heads towards the door, and Daiki does his best to make room for her to leave, but even when he turns sideways it's a tight squeeze. If I had the energy, I would probably ugh at both of their embarrassed faces as she brushes against him.
After she leaves, he closes the door. I suddenly realize there's nowhere he can sit, except maybe my bed. I think this is also the first time I’ve ever been alone with a boy in my bedroom. I feel a little anxious about inviting him to sit on my bed when we’re all alone, but I shouldn't. He's really sweet and polite.
“U-um…you can sit on the end of the bed.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I'm short. I think there's room.”
I pull my legs back a little to give him as much room as possible.
He smiles and sits on the bed as far from me as he can.
“I'm really sorry you're sick, and that it might be awhile. We'll miss you in drama club.”
I sigh. “I'll miss drama club too. But…I hope I will be back soon.”
He nods, “Do you feel like talking about css stuff today? We can definitely put it off.”
“I probably can't do all of it today. You can tell me about one or two csses, though.”
He tells me about history and literature for the day, and leaves some photocopies of his notes. But he seems distracted the whole time, so I start to worry.
When he finishes I ask, “Is everything okay?”
“I don't feel right…finding out about your condition, how I did. Sort of eavesdropping on a conversation with your best friend.”
“I invited you in. It wasn't eavesdropping. And you’re my friend too.”
He massages his neck. “Still…you hadn't told me so far for a reason. I get not telling everyone about your condition.” He ughs, “Well, sort of. Obviously most people have a pretty good idea about mine when they look at me. They can figure it out in a gnce, really.”
I ugh with him, “I wasn't really trying to hide it. It just didn't really come up since I hadn't been sick. I…would have told you if you asked.”
He smiles, “Okay. That makes me feel better. I'll…tell you stuff about mine, in return.”
“Okay. If you want to.”
He nods, “Ask any questions you have.”
I nod and think for a moment, “Um…you're the biggest person I've ever seen. That's from your condition?”
He ughs, “Yeah. I have gigantism. And yes that is the medical term. Pretty zy if you ask me.”
I ugh, “Well…it tells people a lot from the name. I wish mine did. It is called…hyperimmunoglobulin D Syndrome. And I'm not even sure I said it right.”
He smiles, “Yeah, I guess there's an upside to it being so descriptive. I am definitely…gigantic.”
“H-how tall are you?”
He ughs, “You took a lot longer to ask me that than most people. 201 centimeters. And before you ask, I weigh 130 kilograms.”
I feel my mouth hang open at hearing these numbers, “Wow…I think of my dad as a tall man. And you’re…more than 25 centimeters taller…”
He ughs, “Yeah, I’d be a really big guy in any country, but I’m especially huge for Japan.” He smirks, “So, what about you? What's your height and weight?”
I feel my face flush, “I-it's not nice to ask a dy that!”
He chuckles, “Hey, you asked me. It’s only fair. Not like you have anything to be embarrassed about anyway.”
I sigh and quietly say, “43 kilograms and 155 centimeters.”
“See? Those are good numbers, right?”
I shrug, “I wish I was bigger sometimes. But I bet that sounds silly to you.”
He shrugs back, “Not really. I wish I was smaller all the time. We want what we can't have.”
“That's true. What…gives you gigantism? Is it genetic like mine?”
“There are lots of types. I don't think mine is genetic - it is called acromegaly. It means I had a tumor on my pituitary gnd that made my growth hormone go crazy. So, I was this big by 14.”
I frown, “A tumor?”
“Yeah, but they removed it and I stopped growing. I ended up missing a year of school because of all that stuff.”
“Oh! That's kind of like me. Except I missed two years.”
He smiles, “Oh yeah. Guess we’re the oldest students on campus, huh?”
I nod, “Guess so.” I look at his cane for a moment wondering how I should ask about that. Or if I should.
He notices.
He holds it in both his hands. “I have this because my body is too big for my joints. I have the joints of a normal sized person, so the wear and tear isn’t good. My right knee is really screwed up. I am getting surgery this summer which should help.”
“That's good.”
He nods, “I am thankful they figured out what was going on with me when they did. Another year and I would have been much bigger and probably unable to move.”
“Well…I'm gd they removed it, then.”
“Me too.” He frowns. “Although…I wish there was some way to reverse it. No such luck, though.” He sighs, “It wouldn't be so bad if I was just tall.” He holds out his hand in front of himself, “But…my hands and feet are way bigger than anyone's should be. And I’m so much wider than anyone who isn’t a yokozuna.” He ughs bitterly and puts his hand down, “But…this is my body, for better or worse.”
I wish he weren't so down about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with him.
But…I can rete to being frustrated with your body for doing things you can't control. Maybe I can say something to make him feel better.
“W-well…you have a nice body.”
He smirks at me and raises an eyebrow. I don't know why at first. When I realize what I said, I feel my face flush.
“I…I just meant…” I sigh, “C-can I bme my fever?”
He ughs, “Sure. Well, I guess I'll get going. I think Chiyo and Ken are coming by at some point too. Get well soon, Nagisa.”
I'm in bed. I'm tired. But someone's here. They are stroking my hair. It feels really nice. And comforting.
Mom?
I open my eyes and notice there's a cold washcloth on my forehead. And Akane's sitting at my desk. Doing homework from the look of it.
I've been sick and stuck in my room for a week now. I haven't felt great and have needed lots of rest but I have mostly stayed on top of school work thanks to Daiki and Akane. Ken and Chiyo have stopped by a few times and I've been able to go over some lines with them. Chiyo painted my nails for me too.
My temperature has been between 37.5 and 38.5.
But even though I only just woke up, I feel much worse than I have tely.
“H-hey…”
Akane smiles, “Hi. How do you feel?”
“Bad. Th-thank you for this though.” I touch the wash cloth, “It…feels nice.”
“Good.”
“Um…h-how long have you been here?”
“I dunno. A couple hours.”
“Y-you…don't have to do that. I am…sure you have better things to do.”
She shakes her head and looks at me like I'm silly, “It was my day to fill you in on css stuff today anyway, and when you weren't awake I just stuck around and kept an eye on you.” She frowns, “Should I…not have?”
“N-no…it's…very nice of you. Thank…y-you.”
She frowns, “You seem…more out of it than the other times I've seen you. Weaker. Do we need to do anything?”
I ask for the thermometer and check my temperature. It's back up to 39.
I do my best to keep my composure. I focus on taking my pills.
Akane kneels next to the bed after giving me my pills and after I take them she says, “Are you okay? I know you feel sick but I mean…emotionally. You look really upset.”
I sigh, “It's the first time my temperature has gone this high since the first day. And I…do feel a lot worse. I'm worried I'll be stuck in here a lot longer…”
I feel tears coming. Closing my eyes doesn't keep them in.
Akane takes my hand in both of hers just as I start to cry. With her, I know I can cry all I need to, so I really let myself sob.
After a minute or two, I'm a little surprised when she gets in my bed with me and puts her arms around me and holds me close to her, and starts to stroke my hair. But it really comforts me, so I put my arms around her too.
Chiyo convinced me they will all still be here for me but I still don't know if I can take having to give up on my third year again. I want to graduate with my friends. I want to do our py.
As I start to calm down, I notice Akane is quietly saying something.
“Dango, Dango, Dango.”
It makes me ugh.
She ughs too and lets go of me, “Hey, you don’t like it when I ugh at your singing.”
I sniffle, “I know. I just didn't expect to hear that. Thank you. The Great Dango Family always helps.”
She ughs and gets out of the bed, “Good. You think you won't get better?”
I nod. “Not for a long time, anyway. Th-that's how it usually is. I was hopeful before, because my temperature had been going down. But now…I’m worried I won't be well enough for a long time. And…not in time for the py.”
She crosses her arms and puts her css rep face on, “They aren't pressuring you, are they?”
I shake my head, “They have been nice. And said everything will be fine even if I'm not well in time. But I still want to do it like we all pnned.”
She puts the cold washcloth back on my head which fell off when I was crying, “Yeah. I get it. You've worked really hard.”
I smile at her, “Thank you for singing and soothing me. And taking care of me.”
“You're welcome. Only fair that I've seen you cry now. I’ve only seen you tear up a little but you've seen me sob plenty of times.”
“R-really? I cry a lot, so I didn't realize.”
She nods solemnly, “Meanwhile, I'm not normally a cryer, but I have been tely.” She ughs wryly. “Anyway, what do we need to do about your fever?”
I sigh, “If it's still this bad tomorrow. I'll call the nurse. Hopefully…this is temporary. Maybe the medication I just took will help.”
Akane nods, “I don't think we'll be talking about css today. You look exhausted. You should probably get some more sleep.”
I nod and close my eyes, “Yeah, I will. My body will make me, don't worry. You d-don’t need to stay. You've already been here so long and I'll just sleep. Chiyo will check on me in the morning. I'll be okay.”
She sounds annoyed, or maybe surprised, when she says, “Chiyo!?”
Confused, I open my eyes to look at her face. But there’s no sign of anything there. Maybe I’m hearing things because I’m sick. Or it was a cochlear impnt thing and she doesn't know she sounded that way.
I close my eyes again, “Yeah, she comes every morning.”
“I…know. I'll…probably go once you fall asleep.”
I hear her sit back at the desk. Then I hear the pleasant white noise of her pencil moving across paper on the wooden desk.
I'm in bed and someone is gently nudging my shoulder. I feel really groggy and don't want to open my eyes. But it must be important.
“Nagisa?”
I reluctantly open my eyes and see Chiyo holding my thermometer.
I try to smile, but even that seems exhausting. I feel awful. Even worse than st night. My head is pounding and I feel really weak.
“…morning.”
She looks guilty, “Morning. Sorry to wake you…but uh…Akane…left a note that your temperature was high st night and I should be sure to check it this morning. I thought about trying to do it with you asleep…but that seemed weird.”
I nod and take the thermometer and put it under my tongue.
She frowns, “It's up to 40. How do you feel?”
“...bad.”
“Should you call the nurse?”
I nod and she hands me my phone.
It must be obvious that I'm doing poorly because she asks, “Do you want me to talk to him?”
I nod.
“Okay. You let me know if I say anything that's wrong.”
I nod again and she calls the nurse.
“H-hello sir. I'm checking on my friend Nagisa….yes, Furukawa. I'm checking on her this morning a-and her temperature is 40 and is up from 39 since st night. Sh-she's very weak, too tired to talk much. She…doesn't look or sound like herself.”
She pauses for a moment, the nurse must be saying something.
“Y-yes sir. I can do that. I-I’m on my way.”
She hangs up the phone and hands it to me before standing up. She looks very worried.
“He wants to see you in person. I’m going to go get you a wheelchair and I’ll take you, okay? I’ll be right back.”
I shake my head and try to sit up but Chiyo shakes her head right back, “You’re probably right that you don’t need a wheelchair, but it's safest and what he told me to do. Just…stay in bed until I’m back.”
…
The nurse has just finished questioning and examining me. Now he’s looking at me with a hand on his chin and a furrowed brow. Chiyo has stayed with me the whole time.
“Okay, here's the pn. You’re going to stay in one of the beds here today so I can monitor you. I'm also going to get you set up with an IV of the most powerful antipyretic we have here. It's called metamizol. It will definitely lower your fever, and hopefully we can keep it low from there with your usual meds.”
He sounds confident. I hope he's right.
I nod just as the first bell rings. Chiyo doesn't leave my side.
“You can go…I'm just going to sleep here while he gives me the medicine”
“You're sure?”
I nod, “Tell Akane…please.”
“Um…yeah. I…will. Hope you feel better, Nagisa.”
…
I just woke up in the nurse's office. I feel much better than I did earlier. I can tell because I'm aware of how uncomfortable the hospital bed is and I don't feel exhausted.
Someone's holding my hand.
I open my eyes and see a very worried Akane. She's sort of staring into space and biting her lip.
I squeeze her hand and say, “H-hi there.”
She whips her head around to look at me, “Nagisa! How do you feel?”
“A lot better.”
Her whole body rexes and she looks up at my IV drip, “It looks like you had all the medicine. I'm gd it worked.”
“Me too. What time is it? After school?”
She shakes her head, “It's lunch. I stopped by to check on you and…once I saw you I wasn't sure I could go back.”
“Well, I'm okay now. And our css will fall apart without you.”
She ughs, “That's true. You really do seem like your usual self. Thank goodness.”
“Yeah…I feel a little sick still, but nothing too bad. Thank you for checking on me like you always do.”
She squeezes my hand and smiles at me, so I smile back.
Then, she takes a deep breath and looks down, “I…need to tell you something. I was just pnning on…letting it go, and…not telling you. And I figured I'd just get past it. But I think I have to say it. J-just to get it out.” She looks back up and locks eyes with me, “Nagisa, I-”
The nurse suddenly draws back the curtain around my bed. Akane stops mid sentence and quickly lets go of my hand when he does.
Hw says, “So, the patient is awake? How is she feeling?”
Akane says, “She's back to her usual self.”
I nod, “Yep. I'm much better. I'm sure my fever is…37.9 at most, now.”
The nurse chuckles, “Oh? You can tell how high it is, can you? That's quite the skill.”
I nod, “I'm usually pretty close. I have been getting sick like this my whole life after all.”
“Well, let's see how good you are.” He points his thermometer at my forehead and smirks once it beeps. “37.8. That's some skill, little dy.”
I ugh, “Not a very useful one, though.”
The nurse chuckles again before pulling up a stool and removing my IV.
“Well, you can head back to the dorm. I think from here, if you stay on top of your meds, we should keep that fever more manageable. If it spikes again, we know it responds to this.”
Akane smiles, “That's great.” She looks at me, “Should I take you back?”
I shake my head, “You don't have time.”
Akane pouts but then the nurse looks at his watch and nods, “She's right. I'll have one of the aides take her.”
She sighs, “Okay, fiiinee. Um…we’ll talk ter, okay?”
…
Once I'm back in my room, it takes me longer than usual to get back to sleep.
I'm worried about Akane. I don't know what she was going to say, but she looked so serious. I hope I'm well enough for one of our chats ter.
…
I just woke up from a nap. It must be the evening because Akane’s at my desk.
When I roll over, she looks up from what she's doing and smiles at me, “Hey. You still seem pretty bright-eyed.”
I nod, “I don't feel too bad.”
“That's great. The nurse really knows what he's doing, huh? I never really have to see him and was a little skeptical from the few times I'd interacted with him.”
I ugh and nod, “He's silly but good at his job. Um…what did you want to tell me earlier? Before he interrupted us?”
She frowns, “You remember that?”
I nod.
Akane winces, “I-it's nothing. Don't worry about it. I decided…we don't need to talk about it.”
I frown, “It seems like something. You don't want to tell me? Don’t we talk about everything?”
“Well…yeah. But you're really sick. It can wait, at least.”
“Okay…but I may be sick for a long time, and I feel more clear headed than I have in awhile. So it might be a good time.”
She shakes her head and sharpens her voice, “We’ll talk about it another time, okay?”
I frown and start to rack my mind. I can tell I won't get anywhere asking her to tell me. But maybe I can guess.
After a couple of minutes, I think I have my answer. And it makes me feel horrible.
I quietly say, “I…think I know what it is. And…I'm really sorry, Akane.”
Akane's eyebrows shoot up, “Y-you…know? I…guess it's kind of obvious.” She sighs, “Well then…you…don't need to be sorry. It's just…how things are. I just…wanted to get it out there. I wasn't expecting anything. I…understand.” She frowns and looks down at her hands, “Will you…still be my friend?”
“That's…up to you, isn't it?”
She knits her eyebrows and narrows her eyes, “Why would it…only be up to me? I think you should probably have a say too.”
“But…I'm the one who messed up. I wouldn’t bme you if you were mad.”
She squints and says the words as if she's never heard them before, “Messed…up?”
I nod, “We never talked about what happened with your dad. You’re always here taking care of me and I haven't even asked how it went."
Akane's mouth hangs open for a second and then she says, “Ohhh. Right. Yes. That's what I wanted to talk about earlier. For sure.”
“So…that's why it's up to you. Because I wasn't a good friend to you.”
Akane rolls her eyes, “You’ve been really sick. It isn’t that big of a deal.”
“Okay. But…we can talk about it now. I want to know what happened.”
Akane nods, “It went well thanks to my stepmom mediating. She should be an ambassador or something.” She ughs, “My dad agreed that he needs to stop telling me what to do with my life. I agreed to always follow his rules in the house and to never try to influence my little sisters. He was really worried about that.”
“But you never wanted to!”
Akane ughs, “I know. But I get it. Even just me being around them might influence them so…I need to do my best to minimize it. He's right.”
I nod, “I'm gd you came to an agreement.”
She smiles, “Me too. I feel much better about everything. We'll see if he holds to the agreement, though.”
“You think he might not?”
She sighs, “I dunno. I know it will be hard for him. I know he loves me. And he genuinely believes it will be better for me if I stop using my impnts. To him…it's like any advice you'd give your kid, you know?
Do your best in school. Don't do drugs. Don't have sex without protection. Don't use cochlear impnts. It's all the same to him, you know?”
“Oh. I get it now.”
“Yeah, he'll try to understand my side. Just like I'm trying to understand his. But…he might have a repse. We'll see.”
“How does your stepmom feel about it? She seems like she's less strict about it.”
She ughs, “You know…I have no idea. She doesn't really say anything about it one way or another, other than that my dad and I both need to set aside our differences and be nice to each other. I guess…since she always pys peacemaker, I think she must think it's okay I have them even though she doesn't want her kids to have them.”
I nod, “Yeah, that's probably true. Um…I think at some point, maybe after I feel better and the py…I'd like to learn sign. At least a little bit.”
Akane smiles ear to ear and sounds very excited, “Really?!”
I nod, “Yeah. You're my best friend and I want to meet your family. A-and…be able to talk to them at least a little. And it's your mother tongue, too. I should know at least a little.”
Akane nods enthusiastically, “I'll definitely teach you, then.”
“I'm gd we talked about this.”
Akane smiles, “Me too. I think…we can put this issue firmly behind us.”