I’m in the club room with the other club members. We're each going to talk about a one act py we found and then pick one to perform.

  Chiyo sighs, “So, which stuffy Chekhov py are you going to try to get us to do this time, Ken?”

  He ughs, “I suppose I’m predictable. It's called A Marriage Proposal , and it's a comedy where a guy proposes to his neighbor's daughter even though he doesn't really like her. Even during the proposal they can't stop arguing about every little ridiculous thing, they get engaged anyway because it's socially and economically advantageous for both of them.”

  Chiyo raises an eyebrow, “Uh… huh . And what brilliant commentary is Chekhov imparting this time?”

  “That people don't really care about love or emotionally bonding. Retionships are just about keeping up appearances and pursuing wealth.”

  Daiki chuckles, “Sounds like a fun one.”

  Ken sighs, “And what pray tell, do you want to do, Daiki?”

  He ughs, “Well…I know you'll all just say no.”

  “Th-that's not true!”

  He ughs, “Thanks, Nagisa. Maybe you won't. These two don't usually side with me. I'm used to being outvoted by their little alliance. Anyway, I found a fun American one by Tennessee Williams called A Special Kind of Romance. It's about this guy who is moving into a new apartment building, and the beautiful nddy is flirting with him the whole time but he's completely unaware,” He takes a moment to wink at Chiyo, who blushes and looks away from him. Then he continues, “...and he's far more interested in the cat that lives there.”

  I haven't been able to tell for sure whether they are a couple. I've never seen them apart and they seem very close. Daiki's wink must mean they aren't together, though.

  Ken ughs, “That does sound like fun. But I feel like we would really need a cat to pull it off. Are any of the ones on campus tame enough, Daiki?”

  Daiki thinks for a moment and says, “Yeah…not so much.”

  I must look as confused as I feel, because Daiki turns to me and says, “My dad’s a veterinarian in Sendai. So, I trap the cats on campus and take them to him to get spayed and neutered before bringing them back. I also feed them and stuff. But as Ken suggested, they aren’t the cuddly kind who would do well on stage.”

  I smile at him, “That's really nice that you do that. I didn't know there were cats on campus.”

  He chuckles, “That means the spaying and neutering is going well.”

  Ken says, “Well, we can keep that one in mind. Maybe using a plush or something wouldn’t be too bad. Do you want to go next, Nagisa?”

  “S-sure.” I stand up and hand out the pages I made copies of.

  Chiyo whistles and says, “ Damn girl, you brought handouts?”

  “Um yeah…I made copies of the py. I didn't really do much. The librarian helped me.”

  Ken looks confused at first when I hand him an open book, but then his hands flit over the page and his jaw drops, “You…got it in Braille?”

  “I r-really didn’t do that much. I just asked the librarian about the book I found the py in. It turned out they had it in Braille.”

  He nods and sets the book down, moving his fingers over the page with a smile, “Well, I appreciate it. A lot. Tell us about the py.”

  “It's called Living with Father . I-it starts sad, but has a happy ending. It's about a young woman a few years after the war. She lives in Hiroshima and she was the only one in her family who survived. Several years after the war, she still struggles with guilt and grief. Closes herself off from people. B-but her father has been with her as a ghost ever since the bombing. She spends most of her time alone with him.

  Then, she meets a man that she loves. But she isn't sure she should be happy. She thinks she has to stay sad to honor her family. That it would betray them to be happy. B-but the ghost of her father tells her that she needs to move on and love this man. He convinces her, and then he disappears.”

  I look around to see the reaction of my clubmates but I can't tell much from looking at their faces.

  Ken strokes his chin and then nods and says, “I like it a lot. Especially because it's Japanese, unlike our suggestions. There's one problem, though: that's two male roles and one female role.”

  I nod, “I thought…m-maybe we could change the father to a mother?”

  Ken nods, “We can change it to Living with Mother . Might have to rewrite some lines here and there, but that should be doable.”

  Chiyo excitedly says, “I love it! So much that I don't even want to talk about my py. I want to do this one.”

  “Wh-what? I want to hear about yours!”

  Chiyo shakes her head, “Nah. This one sounds perfect.”

  Daiki says, “Okay. Then are we ready to vote?”

  This is moving so fast!

  Ken says, “Say, ‘Aye’ if you want to do Nagisa's pick.”

  To my surprise, all three of my clubmates say, “Aye.”

  Chiyo ughs at my silence, “You don't want to do the one you suggested?”

  I look down at my hands, “I…thought it would be r-rude to vote for mine.”

  She rolls her eyes, “Of course you did. Well, you're out voted anyway.”

  Ken says, “It's official, we're doing Living with Mother. ”

  “R-really? You don't want to think about it more?”

  Ken shakes his head, “It sounds great. Weighty and serious, but sweet too. A real crowd pleaser. And retable. It will be a good challenge for us as actors, I think.”

  Daiki looks up from the copied pages I brought and adds, “I’ll have to look at it more deeply, but based on what you said and what I’ve seen so far, we don't need any crazy set or technical design.” He puts his hand to his chin, “Maybe some complex lighting and sound for when she hears thunder and remembers the bomb, but that sounds like fun to me.”

  Chiyo ughs, “You nerd. ”

  “Well, we can't all be aspiring actors and actresses like you two. Besides, actors need nerds like me.”

  I smile at Chiyo and Ken, “You two want to be actors after graduation?”

  Ken nods, “We joined a student acting troupe in Sendai st summer, and we're doing it again this year. We've really liked it.”

  So, they ARE a couple?

  No, wait. That doesn't make sense based on Daiki’s wink earlier. But they sure use ‘we’ a lot.

  I smile, “That's really great.” I turn to Daiki, “Do you want to do theater stuff too?”

  He shakes his head, “Engineering. But I really like theater. Doing tech and design stuff is fun, but I think I want to do civil engineering. What do you want to do after Yamaku?”

  I should have seen that coming. Once again I have to answer this question in front of a bunch of ambitious people who know what they want to do even though they are younger than me.

  I shrug, “I d-don't know yet.”

  Ken smiles, “Well…if you like acting enough, maybe you can join the same troupe we're joining for the summer. That would be fun, right Chiyo?”

  She knits her eyebrows and looks at him with her mouth hanging open, before smiling at me and saying, “Y-yeah, that would be fun.” She clears her throat and says,”Um…back to the py, I bet we have all the war-era and postwar costumes we need in here. Might need to do some tailoring, though.” She gets up and begins rifling through one of the racks.

  We spend some more time talking about the py and making some preliminary pns before we read it together. I’m very surprised they are all so excited about the one I chose.

  I should thank that dark-haired girl from the library some time. It really was the best py in the book.

  After we are done with club activities for the day, we walk back to the dorms together. After Chiyo and I break off to go to the girl’s dorm she says, “Hey…do you want to hang out ter? I have some homework, but you can come by in an hour. I’ll do your nails for you.”

  I'm very happy about her invitation. So far, I haven't spent one-on-one time with any of my new friends.

  “Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

  …

  “What color do you want?”

  I'm sitting on the floor with Chiyo in her room. She has two dozen colors of nail polish for me to choose from. I'm excited for this. Maybe having my nails painted will make me a little more gmorous, like Chiyo.

  “U-um…I don’t know. I've never painted them. What color do you think suits me?”

  She looks up at me and then back down at all her nail polish before picking up a bottle, “Hmm…this pale pink should be good. Not too loud. It would be really cute on you, I think.”

  I smile, “Okay…let's do that.”

  I spread out my hand in front of her, unsure if that's what I should do. She takes my wrist and guides my hand to my knee. I spread my fingers out, and she starts doing my nails.

  “Thank you…for inviting me. And doing my nails.”

  She smiles, “Of course. We're the drama club girls, y’know? We gotta stick together.”

  I feel myself smile from ear to ear at her comment.

  Then she sighs, and stops applying nail polish for a moment.

  “I should be honest with you, though. …I wanted to do this to get to know you better and hang out…but um, I also wanted to…clear the air, I guess. So, I also have…ulterior motives…”

  “What do you mean?”

  She sighs, “You’re going to think I’m really petty.”

  I shake my head, “I won't!”

  She chuckles, “You can't say that. You don't know what I’m going to say!”

  “I know but…if it's bothering you, it isn't petty. You should talk about it.”

  She nods and then sighs, “I-it's embarrassing, but I just have to say it - I-I’m…in love with Ken.” She blushes and looks away from me.

  I smile, “I thought you might be.”

  She rolls her eyes, “Yeah…everyone knows but him. He's the densest guy in the world.”

  “Well…he can't see your face when you blush and get all flustered around him, right?”

  “True. But I still think it's obvious even if he can't see.”

  I ugh, “Probably.”

  She looks afraid of the answer when she asks, “So…um…do you maybe…like him?”

  I shake my head. “H-he's nice and he’s handsome. I can see why you like him. But I don't.’”

  She exhales and ughs softly, “Thank God! I was really worried you did, and this would come off as me saying ‘dibs!’ and then we would hate each other forever.”

  “Even if I liked him too, I wouldn't hate you. And…you've known him longer, so it would be fair for you to tell me to back off.”

  Chiyo rolls her eyes at me, “You're like a little angel.” She smirks, "Kind of look like one too.”

  “I-is that good?”

  She ughs, “I think so. Makes you easy to talk to.”

  She goes back to painting my nails and we are silent for a while as I think about her situation. I don't want her to make the same mistake I did.

  When she finishes I say, “If he isn't getting that you like him…why don't you confess?”

  She frowns, “I don't know. It's…complicated.”

  “Does he like someone else?”

  “I don't think so. And I would probably know, because he’s also my best friend.” She looks at me closely. “I'm going to tell you something, but promise it stays between us, okay?”

  I nod.

  She smiles, “I've only known you a few weeks, but I'm already very certain you're not the type to go back on a promise. An angel would never break a promise, right?”

  I sigh, “I-I’m not an angel…b-but I won't break my promise.”

  She takes a deep breath and looks me in the eyes and says, “I can't have kids the usual way.”

  I meet her gaze, but I'm not sure how to respond. What does that mean exactly?

  Chiyo sps herself in the forehead and chuckles, apparently realizing my confusion.

  “That was a really weird way to put that, wasn't it? What I mean is…I don't have a uterus.”

  “O-oh. I'm sorry.”

  She ughs, “You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault.”

  “I-I know but…it must be hard.”

  She frowns slightly, “It…is. But it's better than the alternative.”

  “I-it was making you sick?”

  She nods, “Very. I had this thing…where my uterus was all messed up.” She frowns, and pces her hand on her lower abdomen, “Adenomyosis, it's called. I got my first period when I was 11, and it was always really painful. I couldn't even get out of bed. I thought it was what all women went through and I was just weak. That's…pretty much what the doctors said too. That it was normal and I just had a low threshold for pain. B-but they were wrong…” She starts to sniffle a little and trails off.

  I hand her my handkerchief and she smiles at me and wipes her tears.

  “Y-you…don't have to tell me all of this right now.”

  She shakes her head, “I want to. I know I’m tearing up and stuff, b-but…it feels good to talk about. Other than with my parents and medical people…I haven't talked about it before. ” Her eyes get wide and she looks at me, “U-unless I’m…oversharing and freaking you out. I can stop.”

  I shake my head, “You’re not. I want to listen.”

  She smiles at me, “Okay. Well…starting a few days after my 14th birthday, I was in debilitating, blinding pain about 50 times worse than normal…I spent the whole day in a hot bath because nothing else helped. And this time…it didn't stop when my period was over. I…burned myself a few times with heating pads, because that kind of heat was the only thing that gave me relief. I…have ugly burn scars.”

  “I-I can't even imagine pain like that…”

  Fatigue and exhaustion I can imagine. But the pain from HIDS isn't anything close to this.

  She nods and grimaces, “Now the doctors finally looked into things and figured out it was a problem with my uterus. They tried lots of things, smaller surgeries and stuff. They wanted to preserve my uterus if they could. But in the end…the only way to make it stop was…taking it out. When they did, they saw it was so messed up I couldn't have kids anyway. So…it was the right choice. And I’m pretty much pain free now.”

  I smile at her, “That's good.”

  She smiles, “Yeah, it is. I still have one ovary too, so I have eggs. I can have biological kids if I want some day, but I can't carry them.”

  I frown, “And…that's why you don't want to confess?”

  She sighs and nods and then she starts speaking really quickly, “I know we're just in high school, so having kids doesn't need to come up. But…at what point am I supposed to tell a guy I can't have them? Should I tell him right away? Because…it kinda seems like I should. Any retionship could end up going that direction…and if I don’t tell him and he only finds out ter, that doesn’t seem fair. And if I do tell him that might scare him into thinking I want to get married and have kids right away or something.” She sighs deeply. “I'm trying to sort all of that out.”

  I take a moment to think aboutg her words. They came out so quickly that I was a few words behind.

  “That is hard. But…if two people are right for one another and love each other, I don't think anything can keep them apart. If it's right…he'll understand.”

  Chiyo ughs, “That's a very Nagisa thing to say.”

  I frown at her.

  She smiles, “I mean that…in a good way. I hope you're right. I really want to tell him. But at the same time I'm thankful he's so dense that I haven't had to tell him.”

  “So you kind of like how things are?”

  She frowns, “In some ways. In addition to the usual fears about a confession - like being rejected - I'm also scared of losing my best friend, and I'm scared of how he'll react to my…medical situation. So, I'm…just not sure.”

  “I'm not either.”

  After a few moments of silence she says, “What's worse, is, we've been close since we started drama club st year. So I've lied to him about it for a long time. So…I also have to tell him that at some point…”

  “You lied?”

  She nods guiltily, “I lie to everyone about my health. I-I’m…embarrassed about it. You…and one other person are the only students who know.” She hugs herself, frowns and looks off to the side. “And…the other person didn't find out because I wanted them to.” She shakes her head. “Anyway, I say I have anemia. Sometimes my hormone therapy doesn't keep things banced and it makes me a little fatigued. So I tell people it's anemia. I lie because I don't want everyone to know the truth. Awful, isn't it?”

  I shake my head.

  She ughs wryly, “Oh, come on Nagisa. I bet you've never lied. No matter what. And here I am ciming to have a condition people actually suffer from, just to cover up embarrassment.”

  “I don't usually lie. But…I might in your situation. It would be hard when it comes to…boys.”

  She exhales, “If even an angel would consider lying, that makes me feel much better.”

  I guess she’s just going to call me an angel from now on. I suppose there are worse nicknames.

  “I think…he will understand that lie when you expin it to him. A-and…if he doesn't, you probably don't want to be with him.”

  “Yeah. Maybe.”

  She isn't getting this. I need to be more forceful. Can I DO forceful?

  I put my hands on her shoulders and look her in the eyes, “Y-you need to tell him soon, Chiyo.”

  She looks at me with raised eyebrows, “You said that with some serious regret in your voice.”

  I nod and pull my hands back to hug myself, “Th-there was a boy I fell in love with…at my old school. But I was scared to tell him. I thought…he wouldn't like me. His friends were mostly girls. And they were all…prettier, smarter, and more fun than me. A-and…then he ended up w-with one of them…and I'm very happy for them…b-b-but…”

  My lip starts to tremble so I trail off and close my eyes tight, embarrassed that I'm still getting choked up about this. Despite my efforts, I feel a few tears run down my cheeks.

  I feel Chiyo put her arms around me. I open my eyes and hug her back, very thankful for the comforting contact. It's my first hug since I left home.

  “You know, Nagisa…the whole reason I wanted to talk to you tonight is because I thought we might be rivals, and I was worried.”

  “Y-you don't have to worry.”

  “What I'm saying is, I definitely would have to worry if you were interested in Ken.” She breaks the hug and looks me in the eyes. “You're really pretty. And sweet, and smart, and fun. So…please don't ever talk about yourself like you aren't, okay?”

  “B-but I'm n-”

  She puts a finger on my lip, stopping me from speaking. “Look at it this way. You're my friend. Would you like it if you heard someone talk about your friends the way you just talked about yourself?”

  I shake my head. She smiles and removes her finger.

  “Okay? You won't talk about my friend like that again?”

  “I…I won't.”

  “Good. I'm really sorry about that boy. Sounds like a real dumb-dumb.”

  I snap at her, surprising both of us, “H-he's not dumb!”

  Chiyo is taken aback for a moment, but then she ughs, “I just meant he's dumb because he didn't pick you. It's just a joke.”

  “O-oh. Sorry.” I smile, “Then Ken's a… dumb-dumb too. I think…if he could see you, he would know you like him for sure. A-and be in love with you instantly.”

  She chuckles, “Instantly? You think?”

  I nod, “You already look like a famous actress. I-I'm sure you have the boys lining up.”

  She blushes a little and fiddles with one of her braids, “I have received…some confessions, it's true. But none of them are Ken. Between…being in love with him and my health stuff…I haven't ever wanted a boyfriend. Not that isn't him.”

  I nod, “I know…I didn't mean you should settle. J-just…you should be as confident as you want me to be. You're beautiful, talented, smart…all of it. I-if you feel more confident, you will be able to tell him. Despite everything.”

  She sighs deeply and nods, “You're right. And if I don't do something soon, he might end up with someone else. Like your guy. Seeing…how much you regret not telling him definitely makes me want to go for it.”

  “I'm always happy to talk about it with you if that's what you need. A-and let me know if I can help in any other way.”

  She smirks, “Well…there are…a couple ways. First, don't come with us this summer.”

  I giggle, “I wasn't pnning to.”

  She ughs, “Good. His stupid invitation is what got me worried that there might be something between you two I didn't know about. Also…would you mind pying the mother in the py?”

  I smile, “You mean, so you and Ken can have romance scenes?”

  Chiyo blushes and then nods, “I really liked the py you brought, but I was extra eager to go with it because I realized I’d get to do romantic scenes with him. I think that will give me some more courage.”

  “Sure. I'm the oldest anyway. I should be the mom.”

  She looks surprised, “How do you know that? You don't look any older than me. If anything, you look younger.”

  I sigh, “I know I don't look it. But I turn 20 this year.”

  “Oh. Yeah, you are the oldest. Ken and I are both 17 and won't turn 18 until the Spring. You're…more than 2 years older.” Chiyo frowns, “Did your health slow you down?”

  I nod, “I get too sick for school all the time. Doctors took a very long time to figure me out, like they did with you. So, this is my third try at my third year.”

  Her frown deepens, “Man, I suck. Here I am compining about my boy problems and-”

  “Chiyo…it isn't just boy problems. You had it just as hard as me. M-maybe harder. I've n-never had pain like you did. And I haven't had surgery even once.”

  She nods, “I guess it isn't a contest. We both had it crappy in different ways.”

  I smile, “Exactly.”

  “Well…thank you for sharing. And listening. What do you say we spend the rest of our little girls’ night not talking about our health or stupid boys and just being silly?”

  I ugh, “Okay.”

  She gives me a big smile, “Hey, do you want me to add a design to your nails? Like mine?”

  She fshes her nails at me, which are currently bright pink with cute little flowers of different colors on them.

  “It doesn't have to be flowers. I can do other stuff too, as long as it's simple.”

  It doesn't take long for me to come up with something I would like. They are simple. And all different colors too.

  With a big smile on my face I say, “Can you do the Great Dango Family?”

  She looks at me like I'm speaking an obscure foreign nguage, “The…huh?”

  By now I really shouldn’t expect people to know what I’m talking about.

  “Um…wait right here. I’ll be right back.”

  She nods, still with a look of confusion on her face.

  I go back to my room and get my plush dango, before returning with it. She uses my plush as a reference, and before long each of my nails have a different colored dango. Now I can look down at my hands and see the Great Dango Family!

  Chiyo still doesn't really get it, but she seems very happy that I'm happy. And that's good enough for me.

  I’m leaving the performing arts center for the day. We did a readthrough of the py now that our roles are assigned. I have a lot of work to do.

  Ken and Chiyo really are great actors. Especially Chiyo. Between her looks and how well she can move through a wide range of emotions, I can't imagine she won't make it as an actress. I think the gap in our talent is going to be pretty obvious when we’re all up on stage, no matter how hard I work. I have the most lines too. I wish I had paid attention to that when I agreed to py the mother. But if this helps Chiyo get the courage to confess to Ken, I guess I can do it.

  As I reach the main quad, I hear beautiful music. I follow the sound, interested in finding where it’s coming from. Before long, I find it.

  There's a girl with shoulder-length light brown hair and honey colored eyes sitting on a bench and pying violin. I stifle a ugh, because it reminds me of Kotomi’s concert st year. Unlike her, this girl seems to know what she's doing. I don't have much experience watching live music, but something about how she pys her violin makes it hard for me not to watch and listen. I find myself standing stock still and staring with a small smile on my face.

  After a few minutes, she curses and stops pying.

  She gres in my direction and points at me with her bow, “ You . Did anyone tell you it’s rude to stare? Did you get my permission to listen and watch? Are you at least going to put some money in my violin case or something?”

  I feel flustered. “Um…sh-should I?”

  She gres at me again, “That was a joke, idiot .”

  I clench my eyes shut, embarrassed at my stupidity, “I'm sorry. I w-was just…listening and watching. I stopped because it sounded very b-beautiful. But…I’ll go.”

  The girl sighs, “No… I’m sorry. I’m in a bad mood. You…didn't do anything wrong.”

  I open my eyes again, “Are you in a bad mood because you made a mistake?”

  She strokes the body of her violin with a sad look on her face. “Yeah. That's…pretty much…it.” Then she looks up at me and smiles. It's so bright it's hard to imagine she had such a sad expression just moments ago.

  “Do you know the violin?”

  I shake my head, “I only knew you made a mistake because of how you stopped. I have a friend who pys violin, though. Y-you’re much better.”

  She ughs, “Is it Hikari?”

  I shake my head, “She was my friend at my old school.”

  She raises her eyebrows and starts to put her violin away, “Ah, I see. You’re a transfer student. The transfer student, even. I heard about you.”

  “Y-you did?”

  She smirks, “Just a little. Here, come sit with me. I’m not scary, promise…first impressions notwithstanding.” She giggles and puts her violin in its case on the ground before patting on the bench next to her.

  I do as she asks and then say, “Wh-what have you heard?”

  “Just that there's a new third year girl. It's big news around here.” She winks, “Especially among the boys .”

  I blush and look down. “B-b-boys?”

  I guess I am not quite as invisible here as I was at my old school. It's smaller. And I am certainly more confident and talkative thanks to the friends I made st year and how welcoming people have been. I guess it makes sense people notice me.

  My benchmate smirks, “Aw. You're shy. That's cute. They'll love that. Well…I think they already do .”

  I sit in silence as my cheeks continue to flush, not knowing how to respond. My benchmate stands up with the help of a cane, and then picks up her violin case.

  “I gotta run.” She ughs. “Well, not run ,” she thumps her cane on the ground, “but you know what I mean.”

  I stand up and nod.

  The girl frowns, “I'm sorry if I upset you, bringing up the boys thing. I'm just teasing.”

  I shake my head, “I-it's okay. I…I'm just shy, like you said.”

  She smiles, “Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm Saki, by the way.”

  I smile back, “Nagisa. It was very nice to meet you too.”

  She nods and starts to head off towards the school building. As she does, she says, “Feel free to listen to me py if you see me again, Nagisa. I won't be mean next time! Probably.”

  I smile as I watch her walk away.